Balidor clicked quietly, rubbing his face with a hand. He looked tired.
“They are a very old group, Esteemed Sister,” he said, still not looking at me directly. He folded his arms, too, but in a way that felt defensive. “I have heard of them, of course. I was not aware of their current activities, not until––”
“Cut the bullshit, ‘Dori. I didn’t ask about his Bridge-worshipping cult,” I snapped, fighting not to smack him with my light. “I asked about him. That seer. Over there. With Revik. Who the fuck is he? How do you both know him?”
Balidor let out another clicking sigh.
Turning, he narrowed his eyes, watching Revik and the other male’s backs as the two of them entered the guard post, about thirty yards from where we stood. When Balidor looked back at me, I was surprised to see a glimmer of sadness in his eyes, along with something that might have been compassion––or maybe pity.
“His name is Dalejem,” Balidor said simply.
Something about the way he said it made me pause, staring at him. As per usual with Balidor, I couldn’t feel a damned thing on his light, even standing this close to him.
That maddening, impenetrable Adhipan wall.
That seer had one of those walls, too––a wall that suddenly felt a hell of a lot like Balidor’s. Even Jon noticed how much like Balidor the seer felt.
I was about to ask, when something hit at my light.
Confusion. Sadness. Fear mixed with grief, something like alarm, or maybe disbelief.
Anger. A fuck of a lot of anger.
The emotions pelted my light in a wash of heat, intense enough that I turned without thought. Before I could take a step, Balidor caught my arm, trying to stop me.
“Allie. Don’t.”
I jerked free, glaring at him.
I don’t think a single thought slid through my mind as I began to walk, fast, for the other side of the pier.
12
WALKED IN ON
I WAS ONLY a few yards from the door to the guard station before it occurred to me to question what I was doing. My mind had blanked in those few seconds, but now I remembered.
I’d told that seer, Dalejem, I’d give them privacy.
I’d told both of them I would give them privacy.
That meant I’d told Revik I’d give him privacy, too.
Now that I could see two shapes standing there, close together in the dim light, I felt a flush of misgiving when I realized I was in danger of eavesdropping on something private. Or worse, seeing something I shouldn’t see. In either case, I probably shouldn’t be here.
Even as I thought it, I heard Revik’s voice.
“Stop it,” he growled.
The taller, more familiar shape stepped back from the other, shoving at his chest with the flat of a hand. I felt his anger again, more of that confusion, hurt––I was close enough now, the intensity of his feelings overpowered me, briefly closing my eyes.
I felt Revik actively shielding his light from me, too, and from Balidor. Somehow, that bothered me more than the anger itself.
“Brother…” another voice said, pleading. “Talk to me. Please.”
I saw him reach for Revik again.
Revik evaded his hand, shoving it back.
“Don’t do that again,” Revik snapped. “I’m married, goddamn it! I have a fucking child with her. What the fuck do you think you’re doing––”
“I’m sorry! Calm down… calm, yes?” The other seer held up a hand, an apology coupled with a peach gesture. “I am sorry, brother. I did not mean it like that.”
“Then what do you mean? What the fuck do you want from me?”
“I did not come here to cause you trouble. I did not know you were here. I just wanted to talk to you, for a few minutes. It has been so long––”
“It’s been too long, brother,” Revik said, cold. “I’m not even the same person I was then, Dalejem. You don’t know me…”
Revik’s voice trailed.
I froze as he turned his head.
His light eyes shone at me from that dark, reflecting physical light from the other side of the pier. I saw him close those eyes, longer than a blink, right before a pulse of fear whispered off his light. More of that confusion followed, along with enough grief I couldn’t help but flinch.
Then he turned, glaring angrily at the other male.
“We’re done here,” he said. “We’re fucking done. All right?”
The finality in his words felt like a threat.
The other seer was staring at me by then, too. I saw his eyes take in my expression, even as he acknowledged Revik’s words with a flick of his wrist. He lifted his hand higher, making the gesture of respect and obedience specific to Revik’s title as the Sword.
“Of course, Illustrious Brother,” he murmured, bowing his head.
I noticed neither set of eyes nor their light really left me.
Without giving the other male the countersign, Revik walked out of the guardhouse and into the brighter light of the pier. I didn’t feel guilt on him anymore, but I felt anger, and what might have been frustration, along with a wariness verging on caution as he looked at me. Walking up to me, he frowned, then jerked his head towards the other end of the pier.
“Allie,” he said, gruff. “We have to go.”
“You go ahead,” I said, my eyes fixed on the seer in the guardhouse.
“Allie,” Revik growled. Forcing himself into my line of sight, likely to get my eyes off the other male, he tapped his watch meaningfully, not sparing a glance for Dalejem. “Tick-tock, wife. I have to go. Now.”
I turned, staring up at him. “I know. You go ahead.”
“Allie,” he said, his voice sharpening with frustration. “We don’t have time for this––”
“No. You don’t have time for this.” My voice held a less ambiguous warning as I stared up at him. “I have all the time in the world, husband.”
Revik returned my stare, unmoving.
Eventually, I looked back at where Dalejem watched us from the dark.
“Just give me a few minutes,” I said to Revik, my voice more subdued. “If you have to, send the boat back. I’d like a word with our friend here.”
When I glanced up next, I saw Revik’s eyes harden, along with his jaw.
When he opened his mouth to argue, I cut him off.
“That’s an order, Revik,” I said, holding his gaze.
He returned my stare. I felt the fight seethe through his light, but it didn’t feel aimed at me. Even so, he barely hesitated before he acknowledged my words with a flick of his fingers and wrist, a brief salute and “yes” rolled into one.
I saw his eyes shift over his shoulder, narrowing as he frowned at the man standing in the darkened guardhouse.
Something in the look felt like a real threat that time.
Then Revik turned, and he was walking down the pier. He didn’t look back.
I hadn’t felt his light that closed in a long time. Well, apart from when we were on a job, and then I wasn’t usually the one being shut out.
Once he was out of earshot, I didn’t wait.
Walking to the door of the guardhouse, I blocked it unambiguously, holding either edge of the open doorway with white-knuckled hands. I stared at the green and violet-eyed seer with the handsome face, not bothering to hide my hostility.
“All right,” I said. “Explain.”
“My name is Dalejem, mistress. I––”
“I got that much out of Balidor,” I said, cutting him off. “Your name means nothing to me, brother… and I suspect you already know that’s not what I’m asking you.” I fought to calm my voice. “Who are you? Who are you, really?”
“I did not lie to you. I am one of the Children of the Bridge.”
“Which means… what? Precisely?”
The older seer exhaled, running a hand through his long, dark hair.
“We are an old sect, Esteemed Sister,” he said, his voice slightly less guarded. “I w
as not aware of them at all until I was chosen to be a member. That occurred several decades ago, in my three hundredth year. I was in the Adhipan prior to that, which is how I know brother Balidor. And, indirectly, your husband.”
“And who is your leader?” I said. “Now? Who do you work for now?”
He only looked at me.
“Really?” I said. “We’re going to play this game?”
“I cannot tell you that, Esteemed Sister. I am sorry, but I cannot.”
“Then you probably won’t be surprised that I can’t trust you,” I said.
Dalejem’s eyes met mine, right before he exhaled, shaking his head, once. “No, sister, I am not surprised. However, I would think you could trust your husband… and brother Balidor.”
I fought back a harder flush of rage.
I bit my lip, but my silence didn’t last long.
“You probably shouldn’t be invoking my marital relationship right now, brother,” I said, my voice lower, and a lot colder. “Or telling me whether and how I should trust my husband. Unless you really want some body part of yours broken. Or perhaps removed.”
I saw his eyes flinch.
To his credit, the infiltrator’s mask didn’t waver apart from that.
Definitely Adhipan training.
“You must do as you see fit, Esteemed Sister,” he murmured, bowing.
“Really?” I said, fighting to keep the fury out of my voice. “Must I? Well, perhaps you can tell me this. Why is my husband having to tell you to keep your fucking hands off him, brother? Not once, but twice, at least in my hearing?”
Silence fell on the darkened guardhouse.
“Well?” I said. “You were doing so well. A few things you said just now actually made sense. Don’t lose your nerve now.”
He started to make the respectful sign of the Bridge, but that only pissed me off more.
“Don’t give me that obsequious crap,” I snapped, gripping the doorway tighter. “If you’re such a big follower of mine, you should know I’m not fond of liars. Especially liars who’ve already given me a pretty solid reason to dislike them.”
Pausing to clench my jaw, I nodded towards him.
“Answer the question,” I said. “What do you want with Revik? How do you know him?”
He flinched openly that time, and my skin flushed with heat when I realized it was because I’d used Revik’s given name.
“Are you going to answer me?” I said angrily.
“No,” he said. Looking up, he winced at my expression, holding up a hand in a peace gesture. “Mistress, I am sorry, but I cannot. It is not for me to say. It would be wrong of me to tell you. I am not the right person for this.”
“Then who is, exactly?” I gestured sharply with a hand, indicating the small guardhouse. “Is there someone else in here who asked for a private moment with Syrimne d’ Gaos, just so they could put their goddamned hands on him?”
There was a silence.
The seer didn’t drop his gaze.
“I meant you should probably talk to your husband,” he said, his voice gentle.
I fought with how to answer that, and found I couldn’t.
Rage blinded me. I was back to wanting to hit the seer, to punch him in the face, to ask him how I knew him, how he knew me. Remembering what Revik said to him, what I’d practically walked in on in those few seconds when I’d been eavesdropping, I clenched my jaw, forcing myself silent until the worst of it passed.
Revik tried to get me to leave with him. He’d been protecting this piece of shit.
He’d been protecting him from me.
Swallowing, Dalejem averted his eyes.
I was about to try again, when he looked back at me, meeting my gaze, his green and violet eyes grave. His light opened for real that time, enough that I found myself holding his stare.
“I humbly apologize, Esteemed Sister,” he said. “Truly. I implore you to forgive me. Not only for what you inadvertently witnessed, but for my lack of self control. I just, when I knew your husband…” He hesitated, coloring as he shook his head. “I forgot myself, sister. I forgot his situation… I forgot myself. There is no excuse. I would never intentionally harm you, or your mate. When I claim to serve you above all others, I mean it with all of my heart. I serve you, sister––above him, above all others. I vow it upon my soul, Esteemed Sister.”
“You have a pretty fucked-up way of showing it, brother––”
He headed me off again, his voice and light gentle.
“I know.” He held up his hands, his eyes still pleading. “I am sorry. Truly. Please accept my apology. Know that I will accept any retribution you see fit. Gladly, Esteemed Sister. And it will never happen again. I vow it.”
Staring at him, I fought with the emotions coming off his light.
Even so, I couldn’t shake it off.
I couldn’t even make sense of what was wrong with me, not in a way I could put into words. I fought to control my mind and light, to think through what he was saying, what I felt off him, what I’d felt off Revik––what I thought I was even accomplishing at this point by continuing to yell at this complete stranger.
And he was a stranger. I didn’t know him.
He clearly didn’t know me.
It hit me that I was shaking.
I was actually shaking.
I could tell by the strange flares in the darkness as I stared at him, the imprecision of his outline, that my eyes were glowing again, too.
I didn’t know if that was all anger, but anger was definitely the part I felt most clearly. Rage, really––so much rage, I was having trouble holding eye contact with him, especially standing this close. I still wanted to shake him, to force him to tell me who the hell he was, what he wanted from me, from Revik, how they knew each other, why he was really here.
Why the hell he’d been touching him.
I needed to walk away from this.
I needed to walk away from this.
Now.
I released the edges of the doorframe, fighting to control my light, to extract it from his. I didn’t look at him at all as I backed out of the doorway. The sound of my own voice surprised me. Truthfully, I barely recognized it.
“Stay the fuck away from him,” I said, gruff.
My words sickened me a little, even as I wiped my face with one hand, feeling it tremble before it sank in that I was crying. I didn’t look at the other seer’s face long enough to gauge his reaction. I didn’t wait for him to answer.
I began to walk without any clear idea where I was going.
Like Revik, I didn’t look back.
13
JEALOUS
IT DIDN’T FEEL like I was talking to that other seer for very long.
Even so, when I reached the end of the pier, only Balidor stood there.
He looked at me warily, as if wondering what I’d done.
I didn’t feel him relax until a few seconds later––the same time I felt Dalejem leave the guardhouse. I didn’t turn to look, but felt Balidor’s light follow Dalejem as he made his way towards the back entrance of the casino resort.
A pulse of relief left his light, so tangible I snorted.
My voice came out too hard to pass convincingly for a joke. “Did you really think I’d snap his neck, ‘Dor?”
Balidor’s gaze stopped following Dalejem, although I didn’t look to confirm that, either. I watched the Adhipan leader think about my words.
He smiled slightly as he did, then clicked under his breath, looking back at me.
“I’ll admit, the thought crossed my mind, Esteemed Sister,” he murmured, sounding sincere enough to make me bristle.
His gray eyes turned shrewd, flickering over me in the pause.
As they did, he dropped the formal, Adhipan leader cloak he mostly wore around me these days. He turned back into the man I knew, the one I’d been friends with once––the one I was still friends with, even if we hardly ever got a chance to talk in a real way anymore.
/> “I’ve never seen you like this,” he said. “Are you all right, Allie?”
Something about the real concern in his voice and light caused me to exhale in a sigh. Rubbing my face with one hand, I sighed again, still fighting to calm down.
I already felt some of my anger deflating, just from Balidor dropping his guard.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “That didn’t help. You know. With this other… you know, crap.” Biting my lip, I stared out at the darkness of the ocean, trying to put that larger feeling into words. “It’s everything, ‘Dor. Not just him, that seer… Dalejem,” I added, motioning vaguely behind me. “It’s the List seers disappearing. It’s Revik’s light. It’s Lily, and Maygar’s… and Cass. My dreams are getting worse. I feel warnings all around, but I can’t see any of it.”
Feeling what might have been the beginnings of a joke off him, I looked up, cutting him off with my eyes, words and light.
“…We’re falling behind,” I said. “We’re losing. Shadow’s ahead of us, and this will all lead to something. He’s laying the groundwork for something. I can feel it coming, but there’s not a damned thing I can do to stop any of it.”
Balidor’s expression grew thoughtful. I could feel him wanting to speak. I felt him hesitating on words, trying to decide what to say, right before he let go of whatever it was, his eyes returning to the other end of the dock.
Feeling the evasion there, I had to fight to control my anger.
“…And I’m not crazy about my husband withholding information from me,” I added, cold. “Or my own damned head of infiltration acting as his ally to that end.”
Looking back at me, Balidor sighed, clicking under his breath.
I saw the caginess return to his eyes and his light, even as he focused past me a third time, probably watching Dalejem, assuming he hadn’t disappeared from view entirely by then.
“‘Dor.” My voice was more exasperated than angry that time, even a little hurt. “Are you really not going to tell me? I’ve all but ordered you to––Revik, too. That fucker, Dalejem, told me more than either of you, and he didn’t tell me much. What the hell is this about? Are you really going to buck the chain of command on this?”
Prophet: Bridge & Sword Page 11