Teach Me (College Daze Book 2)

by Danielle Burton

  If things didn’t change now he’d end up right back on that path of self-destruction. I couldn’t let that happen.

  “Benji,” I whispered.

  “Yes, Cammie?”

  “Remember when you asked me why saving you was so important?”

  “Yes.”

  “My father committed suicide.” A hot tear leaked down my cheek, the first I’d let myself cry over him since I’d learned the truth about his death.

  Benji lifted his head and looked up at me with his brows lowered. “I thought you said he left?”

  “He did. His death was a choice. I don’t know why he did it, but he decided to end his own life instead of getting help. We obviously weren’t worth holding onto.” I’d only meant to tell him as a way of hopefully scaring him straight. But the old memories caused my heart to constrict. More tears fell and a sob forced its way out. “He didn’t love me or else he would’ve stayed. I’m his daughter. I should’ve been enough. He should’ve fought harder.” My chest burned from the heavy sobs.

  “Oh, Cammie.” Benji pulled me down on his lap and into a tight embrace.

  I cried against his neck, cradled in his arms.

  He lay back, still holding me close and refusing to release me when I tried to break away. Lying on his chest made me tremble with fear, but at the same time brought with it a level of comfort I’d never experienced.

  Eventually I drifted to sleep, waking again when the bed shifted. My eyes remained closed as Benji climbed back in from wherever he’d gone, and then pulled me tight against his chest.

  His fingers traced a line from my temple to my chin, before he whispered softly. “I will never leave you, Cammie. I promise.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  ~ Benji ~

  “Are you ready?”

  I gripped the steering wheel and stared up at my uncle’s house. It was hard to believe a decade had passed since the first time I’d set foot inside. A shock to the system didn’t begin to describe that day. Being a nine-year-old kid who’d never known anything but the hood, I felt about as comfortable as a squirrel in a dog fight.

  “Benji?”

  Cam’s soft hand wrapped around mine.

  I weaved my fingers through hers, hoping this wasn’t one of the times she pushed me away. This girl confused the hell out of me. Her signals were far from mixed, they were a tangled mess. Every time I thought we were getting close she’d flip the script on me. She could be colder than a Michigan winter when she wanted to be, but those rare moments when she smiled at me, not with her mouth, but her eyes, her warmth radiated in my soul. “No, I’m not ready, but I’m trying to be.”

  She gave my hand a squeeze and smiled at me, with her eyes. “You can do this.”

  With a shaky breath, I nodded then opened my door.

  Cam met me at the front of the car and handed me the shoe box I’d asked her to hold.

  Hand in hand we walked toward the front door. My heart slammed into my rib cage every step of the way and nearly stopped when I rang the bell and Jay answered.

  When I’d called this meeting I knew for sure he’d never show.

  He stared at me with an unreadable expression then just walked away.

  Cam gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, and then together we stepped inside.

  My invited guests all sat around the living room in silence. Jay sat next to Gabi on the sofa with a protective arm draped over her shoulder, and my uncle sat in his recliner with his fingers laced beneath his chin.

  I swallowed the lump in my throat and closed my eyes, trying to get my breathing under control as well as my racing thoughts. I can’t do this. I can’t–

  Cam’s warm hand on my cheek slowed my heart rate along with the bullet train that was my mind. I cracked my eyes open and looked down at her.

  She spoke to me in a low voice, keeping our conversation private. “I know this is a big step for you, but it’s also the most important on your road to recovery.”

  “I don’t know if I’m strong enough, Cammie.”

  “You are, but I’m still right here, okay? By your side.” She wrapped me in her warm embrace and rubbed my back.

  I squeezed her tight, siphoning just a bit of her strength. This woman was what could only be described as the truth.

  Cam stood beside me as I faced the people I’d come to know as my family yet did everything in my power to push away.

  I took a deep breath and began the speech I’d prepared. “First I want to thank you all for actually showing up. I’ve been the worst kind of person to everyone present and for that I apologize. What I’m about to say, the reason I called you all here, is no excuse for my behavior, but it’s the truth. A truth I’ve denied for a long time, especially to myself. I, Benjamin Creed, am an alcoholic.”

  I went on to tell them the events of the past few weeks, starting with my mom showing up at Aunt Nicolette’s funeral, all the way to my near suicide. It was then I presented my uncle with the box I held, which contained the gun I’d stolen.

  He eyed me, but said nothing.

  I focused my attention on Jay and Gabi and for the first time in weeks, looked both of them in the eyes. “Gabi, I’m so sorry for what I did to you. It was–”

  “Gross.”

  “Uh–I–”

  “Because...I’ve never seen you as anything but an annoying older brother. Kissing you is the equivalent of kissing Kas, disgusting.” She scrunched up her face and Cam giggled beside me, covering her mouth when I looked at her.

  After the girls shared a laugh the mood grew serious again.

  I turned to Jay, who’d sat with a blank expression thus far. “Jay, I not only betrayed our friendship but our brotherhood, something I’ll spend the rest of my life regretting. You were my first real friend and my only one since. Through all the bullshit I’ve pulled, you were the one person who was always there. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m asking for it.” I swallowed back the lump in my throat and took a deep breath. “Will you please be my brother again?”

  Without a word, he stood and walked toward the kitchen. When he got to the door he nodded his head for me to follow.

  He continued to the back door and slid it open, gesturing for me to exit first.

  For a long while we stood in silence, staring out at the wide open backyard which was mostly grass, save the square of concrete we stood on. My uncle used to talk about building some type of oasis back here. Guess he never got around to it.

  “Why didn’t you just talk to me?”

  I turned to Jay who still stared straight ahead. “You had your own shit to deal with. Your mom was sick. All that drama with Gabi. Then to top it off, your mom passed away. Your schedule seemed a bit full.”

  A frown took over his face as he turned to me. “What is with you and Gabi? Do y’all think I’m a self-centered bastard or something? I’m gonna tell you like I told her; what goes on in your life matters to me. I don’t give a damn what I’m going through. If you need me, I’m there.”

  I started to speak but he cut me off.

  “You of all people should know that. When have I ever not been there for you, Benj? When?”

  I found a spot on my sneakers to look at and chewed the inside of my jaw.

  “All you had to do was come to me. You’re my brother, that’s what I’m here for.”

  The next thing I knew I was being pulled into a hug. Not the usual bro hug, but an honest to God embrace.

  I squeezed my eyes shut to stop the burning sensation then lifted my arms to hug my brother. After I few seconds I pushed him away. “Man, get on with that soft shit.”

  He laughed and punched my shoulder. “Dumb ass.”

  Our laughter died down and we both faced forward again. A moment later he looked over at me. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Gabi?”

  There was no need for him to elaborate for me to know he was referring to the kiss. I kept my gaze straight ahead as I spoke. “
I’ve spent the last decade being jealous of you, sitting on the sideline, watching life be handed to you. You’ve never even had to try. I let that jealousy get the best of me.”

  “You really think the worst of yourself don’t you? Well let me be the first to say, as bad as you think you are, you’re not. Yeah some messed up stuff happened to you, but you’re still standing. Look around you. You made it out. You’re surrounded by people who wanna see you do good and wouldn’t hesitate to help make it happen, but you’re too damn blind to see it. People care about you, man. Me, Gabi, Cam, my parents.”

  “But–”

  “There are no buts. They love you, just as much as they love me.”

  “It ain’t the same.”

  “Bullshit.”

  I finally looked over and was met with a scowl.

  “Tell me why my parents love me.”

  My eyes again found a spot away from him to look at and I shrugged. “You’re their kid.”

  “Exactly. With good parents, love isn’t a choice. I’m their child. They’ll love me regardless.” He stepped in front of me so I was forced to meet his gaze. “You on the other hand, aren’t their child.”

  “Yeah, rub it in.”

  “Shut up and listen. You aren’t their kid. My mom didn’t give birth to you. When you showed up on our door step you were a stranger to us. They didn’t have to take you in, feed, or clothe you. They chose to love you, and if you ask me, choosing to love someone means a hell of a lot more.”

  His words struck a nerve deep within me. I’d spent half my life resenting them and never once considered their feelings in the matter. I was too wrapped up in my own self-hatred to once thank them for what they’d done for me. I made up my mind long ago that the only reason they’d allowed me to stay was out of pity.

  My teen years were spent acting out and rejecting their kindness. I snuck girls into the house, smoked weed, even disappeared for days. They could’ve put me out at any point, should’ve, but they didn’t. Unc had even bought me car, was putting me through college, despite me fucking around and failing my classes.

  The Adams had to be the nicest people in existence, and I…was an ungrateful asshole.

  Jay and I hugged it out once again before heading inside.

  Uncle Kareem stood at the counter guzzling water, turning his attention to us when we entered. He sat the bottle down and clasped his hand on my shoulder. “I’m proud of you, Benjamin. It takes a man to admit he has a problem, and a lot of courage to actually do something about it.”

  “Thanks, Unc.”

  “Have you looked into any rehabilitation centers yet?”

  “Yeah, Cam and I did some research, decided it’s best if I go away for a little while. I found an inpatient center a couple hours from here. I have an appointment tomorrow.”

  “If you feel that being away will help then you have my support.”

  Jay slapped my back then clasped my other shoulder. “Mine too, bro.”

  Unc drew my attention back to him. “We’ll talk later, okay? Come see me once you and Jay have things squared away.” He patted my shoulder then eased past me, headed for the basement. “Oh,” he said, turning to face us again. “I was told to tell you that under no circumstances is Benjamin allowed upstairs.”

  Jay and I exchanged a look.

  Unc shrugged and continued on his way.

  I pulled out my phone and called Cam while walking into the living room then collapsing on the sofa.

  She picked up on the fifth ring, sounding a bit out of breath. “What?”

  “Is there a reason I’m not allowed upstairs?”

  “Yup.”

  “Well?”

  “Well, mind your business.”

  I leaned back in my seat and smiled. “Don’t make me come spank you.”

  Jay’s brow shot up and he eyed me from his spot in the recliner.

  Cam smacked her lips. “Am I supposed to be scared?”

  “You better be. I will not hesitate to bend you over.”

  “See, this is why I can’t stand you. Can we ever have a conversation without you adding sex to the equation?”

  “When did I mention sex? You brought it up, so obviously you’re thinking about having sex with me.”

  The line was silent for about five seconds. “Bye, Benji.”

  I laughed and slid my phone back into my pocket.

  Jay stared me down with his arms folded and a smirk on his face. “You wanna explain any of that?”

  “What?”

  “What? You and Cam is what. Are you two…?”

  “Nah. Not that I haven’t tried, but Cam ain’t having it.”

  He chuckled. “Smart girl.”

  I grabbed up the remote and chucked it at him.

  He caught it midair and set it on the coffee table. “Even if y’all ain’t knocking boots, I know there’s something going on there. What is it?”

  Relaxing against the cushion again, I shook my head slowly. “Honestly, I have no idea. It’s just as big of a mystery to me as it is to you.”

  “You like her?”

  I nodded.

  “You love her?”

  I shrugged. “Still figuring that out, but it doesn’t matter either way.”

  His brows knitted together and he leaned forward in his seat. “Why do you say that?”

  “I’m not the man for her. There are approximately seven billion people on this planet. Out of those billions, there’s exactly one like her. She deserves a lot better than what I have to offer right now.”

  “You gotta stop selling yourself short, man. Can’t fail if you don’t even try.”

  “Who said I wasn’t gonna try? Did you not hear me say right now?”

  He leaned back and crossed his arms. “So what are you going to do?”

  “Well, first I’m gonna get my shit together, so I’m at least somewhat worthy of her. Then, I’m gonna spend as long as it takes making her fall in love with me.”

  A slow grin spread across his face, and he reached over the table, extending his fist.

  I bumped it with mine while a smile of my own crept across my face. “So, are we good now?”

  He looked to his left and twisted his mouth to the side in thought. “Yeah, we’re good. After all, I am going to need my best man soon.”

  “Best–what?”

  His smile was so big it looked like he’d pull a facial muscle.

  “You didn’t. When?”

  “A couple weeks ago. Don’t say anything to Cam though. Gabi hasn’t told her yet.”

  “Why the hell not? Aren’t they like soul sisters or something?”

  “Yeah, but Gabi insisted on waiting for the two of us to make up so we could announce it to everyone at once. Come to think of it, don’t mention anything to Gabi either. She’ll kick my ass if she finds out I told you early.”

  We sat talking and joking around until Gabi came bounding down the stairs over an hour later. She plopped down on Jay’s lap, eliciting a grunt from him.

  “Careful with the baby makers, girl.”

  “Sorry.” She giggled, and then looked at me. “Go upstairs.”

  I crossed my arms and raised a brow.

  “What? Cam says you like being bossed around.”

  I bit down on the inside of both my jaws to keep from smiling at the fact that Cam had talked about me to her best friend. I waited a few seconds before standing and heading toward the stairs. “For your information, I only like it when Cam bosses me around.”

  “Oh, just kiss her already,” Gabi called behind me.

  “I’ll kiss her when I’m good and ready.”

  Gabi gasped as I ascended the steps.

  “Cam?”

  “In here.”

  I followed the sound of her voice to my room. My feet stopped moving when I made it to the door and peered at the gorgeous woman inside.

  Her mouth lifted into a smile and her shoulders rose and fell with the deep breath she took. “So…what do you think of new
Cam?”

  I let my gaze sweep down her body, taking in the wooden beads adorning her neck and wrists, a white spaghetti strap top that hugged her breasts and slim waist to perfection, stopping just above her pierced navel, and the long, billowy red skirt that went down to her bare feet. “I think she looks the same as always. Stunning.”

  Her smile widened and she lifted a hand to her head. “Even the hair?”

  I walked over, admiring her new style. Gone were her extensions, replaced with her own lustrous locks that just barely brushed her shoulders. She had good hair. Not the bone straight or silken curls society would deem ‘good.’ Cam’s hair was thick, natural, kinky, coily…beautiful. “Especially the hair.”

  I sat with Cam for a while before heading to the basement to find Uncle Kareem. He was working out on a punching bag set up in his makeshift gym. My gaze swept over the wide open space. There was a time when none of us were even allowed down here. Unc said it was because he didn’t want us getting hurt, but he wasn’t fooling anyone. He just didn’t want us kids in his man cave, though we snuck down anyway when he and auntie were both working.

  On one side was his gym equipment and the other was set up for entertainment purposes with a huge flat screen equipped with surround sound, a pool table, a card table, and a mini library. The walls were constructed of fancy light brown bricks. Half the floor was cement and the other was plush brown carpet.

  I rounded the punching bag and held it still. “Sup, old man.”

  He glanced at me and smirked, but continued to hit the bags. “Oh, I got your old. Throw a pair if these gloves on and watch this old man kick yo’ ass.”

  I chuckled. “Nah, I’m good.” Unc may have been getting up there in age, but he was probably in better shape than I was.

  “Uh huh.” He stopped his workout and unstrapped the gloves using his teeth. “Go ahead and have a seat.”

  I nodded and went over to the large leather sectional.

  After putting his things away Unc took the seat adjacent to me. “I like that young lady of yours. She’s good for you.”

  A smile took over my face just thinking about Cam. “She is. She’s not mine though. Not yet anyway.”

  “Well, don’t fool around and wait until it’s too late like your idiot brother almost did.”