Not if the right one catches him first, I thought.
Normally we would stand around and gossip like a pair of fish wives but not tonight. Ignoring her I clocked out and grabbed my sweater.
Nathan stood up, smiling at me as I approached. A girl could get lost in that smile of his. He's not the same boy you knew Ashley I reminded myself. He is also most definitely not the same as the high school boys you're used to.
This is a man. A man who has done stuff and been places you can't even imagine.
Placing money on the counter for the coffee and a tip he held the door for me and touched my lower back guiding me through to the street. A sweet electric tingle sparkled up my spine.
The long gray sidewalk to home lay before us. The night had grown cool, silver stars danced in the black sky. It was a magical time. Every building and each loud and obnoxious car ceased to exist. All my problems, doubts, and worries seem to disappear as my world narrowed down to just the two of us. Two young people walking down a sidewalk together.
He shifted to put himself on the street side and I smiled. Nathan was like that, always the gentleman. Mr. J was like that too. He always treated Mrs. J as if she were special. It was nice to see that Nathan had picked up his father's habits.
We began walking, engulfed in silence. Suddenly I didn't know what to do with my hands. I had to constantly restrain myself from reaching and caressing his shoulder. He was home, really home. I'd lain awake too many nights panicking over what it would be like if he got hurt or god forbid if he didn't come home.
I shoved my hands into the pockets of my sweater. The last thing I should do was start caressing Nathan Johnson. He'd freak out and I'd never see him again.
"So, have you decided what you're going to do this fall?" he asked, breaking the silence and making me jump.
"No not really." I said shaking my head. "Probably take some classes at the community college. With tips I'm making good money at Sam's. I just don't know what I want to be when I grow up."
He nodded his head as if he understood. Nathan had never been judgmental. Was that because he didn't care enough to have an opinion? Or was it because he trusted me to figure it out on my own.
Everyone else had an opinion about what I should do. Chrissy thought I should have applied to the University of Washington in Seattle with her. Dad thought I should work in his law office. Pushing papers from one side of the room to the other.
Mom? Well, who knew what she thought I should do. It didn't really matter because whatever I chose it would be wrong.
"I'm sure you'll figure it out," Nathan said, answering my original question.
A sweet silence settled over us as we walked. I could feel his presence next to me. He’d adjusted his step to meet mine. Steeling a glance at him I caught his profile in the glow from the street light. He was so heartbreaking handsome I thought. A strong nose, firm chin, wide, solid shoulders. Eyes full of laughter and intelligence. His short Marine haircut made me want to run my fingers across the bristly sides. Most of all, lips that were designed to make a girl want to kiss them.
My heart skipped a beat making me trip over a crack in the sidewalk.
I stumbled and instinctively reached to grab his arm to steady myself. I swear it wasn't intentional. At least I don't think it was. Maybe my subconscious was doing it.
Nathan spun and caught me at the waist before I could fall. His strong hands holding me steady until I could gather myself. Again that sweet electric buzz emanated from where he touched me. A gentle warmth that caressed my soul. I could quickly become oh so addicted to that feeling.
Smiling I waited for him to tease me. Something along the lines of, Walk much Ashley? Or, Jesus Parker, we can't take you anywhere. But he didn't say a word, instead his eye bore into me with a concerned look, checking to see if I was alright.
Gathering myself I mumbled a quick "Thank you," then started walking again before he could see the deep blush on my cheeks.
A not so sweet silence settled over us again. All I could think about was that this was Nathan, Chrissy's big brother. Nothing was ever going to happen, but if by some miracle it did, then I'd be betraying Chrissy somehow. My stomach turned over. Why couldn't life be easy?
We continued on for several minutes. Why couldn't I think of something to say? I should be able to flirt, right? I'd flirted with other boy's. It was easy, tell them how special they were. Smile, laugh, toss your hair, they loved that. With Nathan though, it seemed too silly to even think about it.
It had been so much easier when I could put stuff down on paper in a letter to him.
"I'm only going to be home for about four weeks then I have to head back," Nathan said suddenly, where did that come from?
"Uh, okay," I said, demonstrating once again my outstanding conversational skills. "Have you decided what you're going to do long term. Re-enlist or get out?"
He hesitated for a moment then shook his head. "I guess I haven't decided what I want to be when I grow up either."
I laughed then we turned onto my block and the laughter died in my throat. I didn't want this night to end. Couldn't I just keep on walking with him all night? We could go around and around the block, over and over. Or better yet, walk right out of town and just keep on going.
Sighing to myself I tried to get a grip on my insides. This is Chrissy's brother remember. Do not say or do anything stupid. Do not let him see how you feel about him. It'd just make him uncomfortable and Chrissy would never speak to me again. I'd lose them both, I'd lose the entire Johnson clan. The thought of it made me shudder.
My house was right there, two doors down. The porch light beamed like a beacon. Dad's car was in the driveway. He and mom would be sitting in the living room watching TV. A different world, a world without Nathan in it.
Stepping up on the porch I turned to face him. We came eye to eye and I smiled. "Thank you for walking me home."
"Do you walk home by yourself every night?" he asked. "It's really not safe."
"I was supposed to call my dad to come get me. My car’s in the shop and won't be ready until Friday. You saved him a trip."
"Are you working tomorrow, I can give you a ride."
"Oh I don't want to take you away from your family. I'm sure your mom has a hundred things planned," I said looking down at my shoes. He was so sweet offering to give me a ride. I wanted to say yes so badly. Please offer again I thought to myself.
"That's okay, believe me, I'll be looking for reasons to get out of the house. What time to you go in. I'll be here."
My heart jumped and I couldn't help smiling. "I work eleven to seven, we overlap for the lunch crowd."
"I'll pick you up at ten thirty then."
"Make it ten and I'll treat you to breakfast, Carlos makes killer biscuits and gravy."
"Great, ten it is then," he said.
We stood there for a moment as if neither knew what to do next. That awkward end of the first date moment washed over me but this hadn't been a date. Even if it had felt like one. Do not, under any circumstance think of it as a date I told myself.
He shifted back and forth as if he didn't know what to do either. Stopping for a moment he looked into my eyes. I felt myself being pulled toward him by some magical magnetic force. His eyes narrowed and burned for a moment, was that desire I saw buried behind them.
I watched his tongue moisten his lips. He's going to kiss me I thought. Really, Nathan Johnson is going to kiss me. Every dream, every prayer was about to be answered.
My heart stopped as I waited. I couldn't look away.
He blinked, then blinked again and pulled back. It felt as if my stomach had dropped to my shoes. He'd been so close, I know what I saw. The desire and longing in his eyes had been evident. I'm not an idiot. A girl knows when a man is interested and Nathan Johnson was interested. But he pulled back. Why?
Taking several steps back he looked over my shoulder as the front door opened.
"Ashley, is that you?" my father said as the
hallway light illuminated us. "Who's that with you?"
My mind raced with a dozen different emotions. Anger leading the list. Why couldn't my dad have waited a little longer? Had I seen what I thought I had seen in Nathan's eyes or was it all in my imagination.
Sighing to myself I said "It's Nathan, he walked me home. I'll be inside in just a minute."
"Um, I've got to go anyway. I'll see you tomorrow morning," Nathan said. "Nice to see you Mr. Parker." He turned and walked away, probably kicking himself for ever walking me home. At the last moment he turned and gave me a quick wave then disappeared into the night like an angel returning to heaven.
"You'll see him tomorrow," I told myself under my breath. Besides there'd been that burning desire I'd glimpsed in his eyes. I know what I saw, and I was going to keep telling myself it was there until somebody proved me wrong.
Chapter Five
Nathan
Stuffing my hands in my pockets I continued down the street berating myself.
Man, I almost screwed that up so bad. That's Ashley Parker you idiot. Chrissy's best friend. Not some woman you picked up in a bar for a one night stand. Ashley was a forever kind of girl and your leaving in four weeks remember.
Hey, it was only an almost kiss I told myself. It’s not like you grabbed her and threw her over your shoulder to take back to your cave. The image flashed into my mind of what I would like to do with Ashley and a shudder traveled down my spine.
God she was beautiful, sweet, and intelligent. The kind of person that a man dreamt about. And yes I knew I'd been stuck in the back and beyond for a long time. But that was no reason to come on to Ashley Parker. I'd been within a hair's breadth of kissing her. If it hadn't been for her father stepping out I would have. And then what?
I could see it now. Ashley embarrassed, Chrissy giving me the silent treatment, Mom disappointed in me. Dad shaking his head at my idiotic moves and me feeling like a first class fool.
Four weeks, I kept telling myself as I walked up to our house, retrieving the key from behind the porch light. Four weeks.
Later lying in bed I stared up at the ceiling unable to sleep, my hands folded behind my head. Johnny was snoring lightly on the other side of the room. That wasn't going to bother me. A squad bay full of Marines could sound like a lumber mill through a megaphone. In the Marines, if you can't sleep with other people snoring, you don't sleep.
No, it was the look in Ashley's eyes when I was preparing to kiss her that was keeping me wide awake. I swear she'd wanted me too. Had she leaned in a little closer? Had her lips pursed slightly?
.o0o.
Ashley stood next to my truck patiently waiting for me the next morning. Dressed in her adorable waitress outfit, hair pulled back, a sweater folded over her hands.
"You ready for some killer biscuits and gravy?" she asked.
"Coffee, I need coffee,” I said. Neither Mom nor Dad drank coffee, I don't know why but they'd never picked up the habit. After breakfast I was going out and buying them a coffee maker.
She laughed and hopped into my truck. I got the distinct impression that what I was calling ‘The Moment' last night was not to be discussed. In fact, I was pretty sure Ashley hadn't even been aware of it. Shrugging my shoulders I got in as well. Probably for the best.
The biscuits and gravy turned out to be as good as she promised. We sat at a back booth and discussed people we knew. Who was where doing what to whom. That kind of thing. I could have sat there all day talking to her. The world seemed to melt away. All my problems, all my stresses disappeared whenever I was around this woman.
It wasn't just the looks, it wasn't just the personality. It was the familiarity. So much of our lives wove around each other. Our stories were shared stories. It made things comfortable. I could start a story and she could finish it. We were almost talking in shorthand.
"Remember the time Johnny ...."
"Yeah, I was thinking about that the other day."
She knew what I was thinking before I did. With Ashley I could be me. Not some macho know it all, or a sensitive soul trying to win her over. Just me.
She knew too much about me and would have seen right through any kind of façade.
It was like hanging out with my friends, my squad mates. They knew me better than anyone and accepted me anyway. I smiled to myself, imagining telling her that she reminded me of a bunch of Marines.
For three days I took Ashley to work and picked her up after. Each day better than the last.
After we shared breakfast she’d start work and I’d go hang out with my friends from high school. Or at least try too. Billy worked in the lumber yard driving a fork lift, Steve was home all day but he was married with two kids both under three and his wife Jean hadn’t been real happy to see me.
Glen was in jail, again. The boy was going to waste his entire life.
A sharp pain hit me in the gut whenever I thought about how things had changed. My old friends had moved on with their lives. Even my kid sister was heading off to college in a few weeks. Had I done the right thing leaving it all behind? What would happen if I came back to this world?
Dad could get me a job on his road crew. But did I want that? He’d made it into an excellent life. He and mom were truly happy. It could be done, but was that the only way? And if so, why. There had to be more.
On Friday I took Ashley to get her car from the shop then followed her to Sam’s so we could have breakfast. My heart fell when I realized I wouldn’t have an excuse to see her in the morning or a reason to say goodnight.
.o0o.
The late Saturday morning sunshine woke me from a restless sleep filled with dreams of mountain tops and sky blue scarfs. Turning over in bed I stared up at the ceiling. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. The house was quieter than normal. Dad had taken Johnny on a back hoe job. The memory of dad teaching me how to work the big shovel made me smile.
Mom had mentioned that she was taking Marla and Elizabeth school shopping. She’d made a sweep through our room and grabbed all my dirty clothes. I’d told her not to worry about it but she’d insisted. I think she’d felt all maternal and stuff doing things like that.
None of my old clothes fit anymore so I threw on some jeans and headed to the laundry room for a shirt. I’m sure she’d have finished the first load before leaving this morning.
I was half way through the kitchen before a pair of long tanned legs caught my eye. Ashley wearing jean shorts and a white tank top was leaning against out sink eating a bowl of cereal. My heart stopped and my breath hitched.
Wow, when they invented the word sexy, this is what they were thinking about. My eyes traveled up her long legs, over her perfectly shaped hips, and continued up past her flat stomach and the tight fabric pulled across her chest. Finally coming to rest on those gorgeous blue eyes of hers.
I know I shouldn’t have checker her out like that, especially not with Chrissy standing right there next to her but I couldn’t help myself.
She was adorable. Standing there with a spoon half way to those luscious lips her eyes as big as dinner plates. Staring at me as if I was a hidden treasure trove, her eyes kept dipping to stare at my chest.
Chrissy looked back and forth between the two of us as if watching a tennis match.
“You two should get a room!” she said with a sneer.
“Chrissy,” Ashley said, slapping her on the arm.
“What?” My sister asked with all innocence. “You’ve been mooning over him since you were twelve years old. You’re eighteen, it’s time you did something about it. He’ll be gone in a couple of weeks.”
“Chrissy,” Ashley exclaimed again as her face turned fire engine red.
Ignoring my sister and the teasing she was giving her friend at my expense I grabbed a T-shirt making sure to give Ashley one more look. It turned my insides over to see her standing there like that.
Deciding that retreat was the better part of valor I turned to go back to my room.
“Hey Na
te,” Chrissy yelled as I started up the stairs. “Tim’s throwing a party at his house. His parents are out of town and it’ll probably be the last one of the summer. He said to make sure I invited you.
“Okay, thanks”
“Of course, I could care less if you didn’t show up. But I’m pretty sure someone would be devastated.
The sound of an open hand slapping flesh reverberated from the kitchen.
“What was that for?” Chrissy asked.
“General Principal,” Ashley answered.
Chapter Six
Ashley
Still unable to get the image of a shirtless Nathan out of my mind I walked to Tim’s for the evening’s party. The sight of Nathan like that had haunted me all day. Those chiseled abs, wide shoulders and hard tanned chest had done something to my insides. I couldn’t think straight, couldn’t concentrate on anything except him.
I swear I could hear the head banging music two blocks before I got to Tim’s. The sweet aroma of pot and the reek of alcohol topped with the stomach turning stench of Doritos hit me like a sledge hammer when I stepped into the party.
Almost everyone had been issued the proverbial red plastic cup. That was the thing about Tim, he could afford to supply his own kegs. I looked around the room and realized I didn’t really want to be there. Another summer evening with a bunch of jumping, grinding teenagers. Not enough air and not enough bathrooms. It was going to be a long lonely evening.
I’d worn a simple yellow sun dress with my hair down and I was definitely overdressed. Most of the girls were in shorts and halter tops. Quite a few of them would be wearing even less before the evening was done. Looking over the crowd I realized I was dreading this night. When did I become such an old woman I wondered? I used to love Tim’s parties. Now all I could think about was Nathan. The girls were going to be all over him as soon as he arrived. The thought made my guts crawl up my spine. This was going to suck on so many levels.
“He’s not here,” Chrissy said coming up to me from behind. She was dressed in Jeans and a T-shirt. She had on a little more make-up than normal and seemed nervous for some reason. I could smell the alcohol on her breath already. Nathan was not going to be happy about it.
My Sister's Best Friend (Best Friends 3) Page 3