Punching my pillow I tried to get comfortable, it was going to be a long night. Even worse there wasn’t anyone I could talk too about it. It would have been so nice to roll over and call Chrissy, to lay there talking to her half the night. But of course, Chrissy was out when it came to this subject, she’d get mad at Nathan or me or both of us. My mom? - come on, you’ve got to be kidding – Mrs. J? She’d hug me, tell me it would be okay then rip into Nathan.
Life could be really hard sometimes. Maybe this is what the teen years were all about. To show you how rotten life could be so that everything after it looked better. You could always look back and say, - well at least I’m not a teenager anymore. Thankfully I don’t have to go through that again - .
Turning over I stared at the wall. I could still feel his hands around my waste, still smell his warm masculine sent of sandalwood and leather, still taste his lips.
My eyes slowly began to fill with warm tears until they spilled over to run down my cheek. I didn’t wipe it away instead letting it lay there. A testament to the world about my true feelings. I needed to hold onto the feeling, get used to it. I was pretty sure it was going to be around for a while.
The sharp buzz of my phone made me jump. Had Chrissy heard already, it wasn’t her ring tone. It was the default unknown caller. Who would be calling me at this time of night?
“Hello.”
“Hello, Ashley, this is Nathan,”
Shooting up in bed I quickly wiped the tear from my cheek as if he might be in the room.
“Hi Nathan,” I said, trying with every fiber in my soul to sound cheerful, upbeat, not broken, not hurt.
“How are you doing? Did I wake you?”
“Uh, fine. No, what’s up?” I said, once again demonstrating my excellent conversation skills.
“I’ve got to go back to California.”
My stomach dropped. “In two weeks, right?” I said, holding my breath.
“No, tonight. I just got a call from my unit. I got my transfer to the base in Bangor Washington, over on Puget Sound. My Gunny Sargent Major pulled some strings and got it for me but I’ve got to be there in five days. Some kind of class they want me to go to. I’ve got to go back to Pendleton, get my stuff, check out then get back up to Bangor.”
The phone connection lapsed into silent dead air as I desperately tried to think of what to say. Was he doing this just to get away from me? Nathan was leaving again, tonight. It wasn’t fair. Say something, anything.
“Tonight?” was all I could come up with
“Yeah tonight, but hey, I’ll only be about four hours away. I’ll be able to come home on long weekends and stuff.”
“Are you leaving now?” I asked as I kneeled on the bed to look out the window. If I didn’t start breathing soon I was going to faint. Air trickled into my lungs as I saw his truck was still parked in front of their house six doors down and across the street.
“Soon, mom’s stomping around the kitchen putting enough food together to cross the Rockies in a Conestoga wagon. As soon as I finish packing I’m on the road.”
“Um, okay.” Again with the excellent conversation. My mind didn’t seem to want to work. Everything had gone numb. As if I was waking up from a dream.
“Yeah, well, I just wanted you to know I was leaving.” He paused for a moment then said, “I’m going to miss you Ashley Parker. More than you’ll ever know.”
“Don’t leave, not yet, I’ll be there in two minutes.” The words tumbled from my mouth as I jumped from the bed tearing my pajamas off. What does a girl wear to say goodbye to the boy she loves? A question I had never really pondered before and hoped to never do again. “Bye” I yelled into the phone and hung up before he could say he was leaving right away.
As it turns out, Jeans and a T-shirt worked best. Along with tennis shoes. Better for running.
The night air hit me like a cold shower as I ran out my front door. My dad yelled, “Ashley?” from the living room but I totally ignored him as I skidded around our car and onto the sidewalk. He was still here. “Thank you god,” I mumbled.
They were all gathered in the front yard saying goodbye. That big beautiful bundle of love known as the Johnson family. A quick jealous twinge twisted my spine bringing a smile to my face. The one thing Nathan could count on in this world was that he would always have a strong base of love No matter where he went, no matter what happened, he would know that he had this any time he needed it.
Little Marla was crying, Mr. J reached down and picked her up, kissing her forehead. Johnny stood next to his dad looking stunned. Elizabeth held onto Nathan’s hand as if she could stop him, or he had to take her with him. Chrissy looked just plain mad, as if she wanted to hurt something. Mrs. J stood straight, looking at her son with pride and a sad acceptance of what was happening. Where did she get the strength?
Throwing his green sea bag into the back of his truck Nathan turned to give his mother a hug. Looking over her shoulder he saw me approaching. A smile crossed those perfect lips lightening his eyes. He was glad I was there. All was right with the world once again.
“Ashley,” A simple word that said it all. For the first time since his call I could feel myself begin to breathe normally.
Everyone turned to look at me. None of them questioned why I was there. No curious looks, no frowns, just accepting, welcoming, though a lot of sad smiles. It was obvious they didn’t feel like I was intruding on their private moment.
Slowly stepping away from Elizabeth he walked towards me. My heart raced, pounding in my chest. He was so tall, those broad shoulders blocking the star light. His eyes were hidden in the shadow of his brow but somehow I knew what he was feeling.
“Ashley,” he said again. I could really get used to hearing my name said like that. As if it was important. Reaching out he gently took my hand and looked into my eyes. A shiver ran through me with an electric buzz. Surely he felt it.
“I’m sorry I’ve got to leave, especially like this. I was looking forward to the next few weeks. Looking forward to getting to know even more about you.”
Biting my lip I fought to keep from crying. Not here, not now. Instead I threw myself into his arms and hugged him with every bit of strength I had. I didn’t care who saw, who knew how I felt, I couldn’t hide it anymore. My heart was breaking, the last thing I cared about was what other people thought.
After a moment he slowly pulled back then lifted my chin with his finger. Our eyes locked, messages of wanting and caring passed between us. I could see it there in the depths of those dark chocolate eyes.
Smiling slightly he leaned down and kissed me. Not like a friend, but like a man saying goodbye to a woman he wants. A woman he is going to miss. A woman he regrets leavings. My heart soared. He was kissing me in front of his family, not caring who knew. Telling them how he felt. I knew I’d been right.
We started to become lost in each other, His hands roamed down my back, pulling me even closer as if he never wanted to let go. I could have stayed there in that moment forever. That safe haven of bliss where I felt whole and happy, secure, and wanted.
Of course that wasn’t possible. His father coughed and said, “You need to get on the road son.”
My heart stopped. Mr. J was right, Nathan needed to get to his base. I couldn’t hold onto him. I had to let him go. Dropping my arms from his neck I stepped back, looking down at my shoes. Suddenly embarrassed, his entire family had watched us kiss like that. What must they think of me? Chrissy was smiling, Marla looked confused. Johnny seemed to be even more proud of his big brother, Elizabeth fanned herself with her hand and laughed.
It was Mrs. J that surprised me. She looked at me with a sad smile that let me know she knew how much I hurt.
“You need to go Nathan, you’ve got a long drive,” I said as I pushed him in the chest. I could feel his heart pounding. He needed to leave before I started balling my eyes out. Holding onto him wouldn’t work, nothing I could do would keep him here.
He sighed
heavily, nodded and then squared his shoulders. Smiling one last time he kissed me on the forehead. “This is not over,” he said.
“It is for now,” I said, proud of myself that I could be rational at a moment like this.
Nodding again he smiled then turned to wave to his family before climbing into his truck.
Mrs. J came over and put her arm around me. “It’ll be okay honey, it will all work out, you’ll see.” That was Mrs. J for you, always positive. Always there for you when you needed her.
Nathan’s truck roared to life and he drove away with one last wave. Just like that my world emptied of all meaning and purpose. It was as if a giant hole had opened up and sucked all the happiness into some deep black void.
Unable to stop it any longer the tears spilled down my cheek.
Chapter Nine
Nathan
The cold October night and a fine mist greeted me as I left the command building for the Humvee to begin my rounds. So typical of the Northwest, just enough rain to make things uncomfortable but not enough to ruin anything.
Two months on the job and only now were things becoming instinctive, there was just so much to learn, so many things that were supper important.
As the security force for the Pacific Ballistic Submarine base we had to do things right the first time, every time. It was a different kind of pressure. Different than combat, but in some ways even more important. As the Sargent Major said, if we screw up in combat a couple of our buddies could die. If we screw up on this job millions of civilians could die. It put things into perspective. I’d made the right decision coming here.
Smiling to myself I climbed into the vehicle and told Carter to head out. My eyes scanned the fence line as we drove. Looking for that out of place item that could tip me off to an intruder.
“So are you going to the Marine Ball?” Carter asked out of the blue. “Captain Jacobs is pushing for us to go, so is Sargent Major Thompson.”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. I hadn’t really thought about it but a picture of Ashley Parker in her prom dress jumped into my mind. “Maybe,” I added. “Yeah, maybe.” The Marine Ball was three weeks away, if I was going to ask her I should do it pretty soon. I hadn’t gotten home like I had hoped. Hadn’t seen Ashely since I left.
Why I wondered. I could have carved out time if I really wanted to go. Could have swapped duty days, taken leave, there were ways. Instead I’d holed up in the barracks. Studying, taking on extra days.
Admit it Nate, you’re scared to death. I still hadn’t made up my mind about re-enlisting or not. A part of me wanted to but I knew what I would be giving up.
It didn’t seem fair to get involved with Ashley until I did. Besides, I was here, she was there, we really couldn’t have any type of relationship this far apart. I couldn’t ask her to wait until I got out because I didn’t know if I was getting out. So many questions and nothing ever seemed to get answered.
“If you go, do you have a date?” Carter asked again. Man he was really obsessing about this.
“Maybe,” I said, keeping my eyes on the fence line.
“Does she have a friend, or a sister?” He asked with a short laugh.
I looked over at him, thought about Chrissy and immediately shot that idea to pieces. “No,”
“Oh,” he answered obviously feeling let down. Good, maybe he’d shut up about it now.
My mind drifted to other girls I had known, past girlfriends, one night stands, this was different. Ashley was in another league. The feeling I had about her were all jumbled up. She was a family friend. I knew her, or at least thought I did. Everything about her was cool. Her laugh made me smile. Even when she was being a pest she was always sweet about it.
Even her confession about wanting a family didn’t scare me. I wanted the same thing, kids, a ton of them I realized, surprising myself. I’d always thought that growing up in a big family had been a pain in the butt. However, now, after being away from it I missed it. The Corp filled a big part of the void but couldn’t fill it all.
The memory of lilacs and roses washed through me making my heart seize up. There was something about her that made me want to take on the world. I just wanted to be around her. Instead here I was patrolling a fence line looking for terrorists or environmental wackos. It was enough for me to question my intelligence. Deep in my soul I knew I should be home with her, preferably curled up in bed. I wonder what she looked like when she woke up. It was easy to imagine, messed up hair, twinkly eyes and a soft smile just for me. It was enough to make a man second guess every decision he ever made.
Later that night in my barracks room I stared at my phone. She should be home by now I thought. What if she’s got a boyfriend? She’s not going to want to come all the way over here just to go to a dance. What if she’s mad at you because you haven’t come home to visit? You can’t just call up a girl out of the blue and ask her out. Well you can, but not a girl like Ashley.
“You can’t put this off any longer,” I said to myself.
Without thinking about it I called her. The sharp double ring of her phone stabbed at me like a stiletto to my ear drums. Holding my breath I waited for her to answer. She couldn’t be asleep already could she?
“Nathan?” she said as she answered her phone with a hesitant voice.
“Hi Ashley, I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“No, No of course not. Is everything okay?” So typical of her, always worried about everyone else.
“Yes, everything is fine … “
“Are you sure, the last time you called like this it was to say you were leaving. Are you being deployed again?”
“No,” I said quickly then took a deep breath. “I was wondering if maybe you would like to go the Marine Ball with me on the tenth of November.”
“The Marine Ball? You mean like a real Ball, Cinderella and Prince Charming type of Ball?”
“No, well maybe sort of. Think of it as a Prom for Marines. It’s the Corps birthday, every year they throw a big dance. We wear our dress uniforms. Wives, girlfriends …. And dates,” I added quickly. “Get dressed up in ball gowns. It’s pretty fancy, but fun.”
“Really, with you? A Ball? I didn’t know that people still did that sort of thing.” She said. Her voice had risen and I could feel a little bit of excitement.
“Well, the Marine Corp has always been a little old fashioned. Very big on tradition.”
“How would this work, where would I stay, would I meet you there. How … “
“I’ve got it worked out. You could stay at a friend’s house. His wife Charlotte will be going. She’s really looking forward to having you. It will be her first one also, they just got married about six months ago.”
The phone reverberated with a deep silence. Had I lost her, had she hung up?
“Nathan Johnson, let me get this straight. You call me out of the blue. Two months without a word and you call me as if we talked yesterday at the grocery store to ask me to travel a couple of hundred miles to meet people I don’t even know to go to a fancy Marine Ball with you. Is that right?”
“Uh, well yes …”
“Of course I’ll go with you I wouldn’t miss it for anything. You tell me where and when and I’ll be there.”
My heart started beating again and I was finally able to breath.
“Give me her number and I’ll call to get the details,” Ashley said.
“That’s okay, I can tell you everything you’ll need to know.”
She laughed. “Nathan, I trust you with my life but his is way too important. What is her number, I’ll call tomorrow.”
Sighing I gave her the number. Once that was out of the way we settled in to talking, updating each other on what was going on in our lives. It was so easy and comforting. My cheeks began to hurt I was smiling so much.
Before I knew it an hour had passed and I could hear her stifling a yawn on the other end.
“I’d better let you go,” I said.
“Oh,”
she said, sounding a little disappointed.
“I’ll call you next week to make sure everything is worked out.”
“Okay. Um I’m really glad you called and I’m really looking forward seeing you again. Have you decided what you’re going to do? Long term that is?”
“No, not really. How about you?”
She paused for a moment then started telling me about maybe wanting to explore Physical Therapy. Before I knew it another hour had passed as we discussed our futures and our inability to make a decision.
Finally, after two and half hours that seemed like ten minutes we said our goodbyes.
I leaned back in my chair and folded my hands behind my head. I looked at the picture off Ashley in her prom dress, framed, sitting on my desk. “She said yes,” I said with a huge smile on my face.
Chapter Ten
Ashley
Charlotte Travers turned out to be exactly like I imagined her. Barely over five feet and a ball of pure energy. Long brown hair and a smile that could light the world. She hugged me when she answered the door, hurrying me out of the drizzle into their small house.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Charlotte said giving me another hug. “I was so worried I wasn’t going to know anyone there. Thank you so much for coming. I was thinking of backing out but it would have crushed John, it’s a pretty big deal I guess. Taking your wife to a Marine Ball. All of this is so new to me. The commissary, working my way through the Naval Hospital bureaucracy, John being gone for days on end, now they expect us to go to a fancy Ball.”
She’s nervous I realized. It made me feel more relaxed. I wasn’t the only one going through this. I’d been on edge since Nathan called. Walking on cloud nine, but on the edge of cloud nine, ready to fall off at any moment.
“Thank you so much for helping me,” I said. I really meant it. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”
My Sister's Best Friend (Best Friends 3) Page 5