Long Way Home

by Vaughn, Ann

  “Oh, Mama, I’m sorry,” she said, squatting down to pick up the pieces.

  “I’m sorry, Tess, I shouldn’t have startled you,” Gib said, squatting down to help her.

  “It’s OK, both of you,” Mary said, approaching with a broom and dustpan. “I’ve got this. You two just back away before you cut yourselves.”

  Gib stood and then held a hand out to Tessa. She stared at him a moment, then took a deep breath and put her hand in his and allowed him to help her up.

  “Baby steps, Tess,” he said, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. “You’ll get there.”

  “Why don’t you meet us for lunch at Miss Nettie’s, Glen?” Mary suggested when she’d finished the clean up.

  “I’ll be with a recruit class at lunch but I can meet you there for dinner.”

  “Perfect. Five-thirty?”

  “I’ll be there,” he confirmed.

  The day at the shop was busy and pretty much old hat for Tessa. She was amazed at how easily she slipped right back into the swing of it all, like she never even left. She’d taken over all her mother’s special requests pile, finding all the wild, off-the-wall and exotic things that various brides wanted for their special day.

  “How the heck does she think we will find a hundred bats to release at the end of her ceremony?” Tessa cried. “That isn’t even safe.”

  Mary looked up from the bouquet she was making. “Let me guess...Becca Radley?”

  “Yeah. Goth girl extraordinaire I’m guessing. She’s just going to have to get over wanting bats. Does Simon still handle all your animal requests?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll see if he can get ravens and I’ll convince her that those will be more Goth than bats.”

  “Works for me, but call him tomorrow. It’s time to shut down and meet Glen at Miss Nettie’s.”

  Tessa’s eyes widened. “Really? It’s five-thirty already?”

  “Time flies,” Mary confirmed.

  “I guess so...though I’m not really sure I’m ready to take on going to Miss Nettie’s,” she admitted.

  “Honey...you can’t avoid the town forever.”

  “I know...but Miss Nettie’s on a Friday night...that’s a bit of a trial by fire, don’t you think?”

  “Well, maybe a little...but you may as well jump right in.”

  Tessa hesitated before finally agreeing, “Yeah, sure, why not?” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

  Mary gave her a hug. “Come on. Sink or swim time.”

  Tessa followed her mother out and together they walked the two blocks from the shop to Miss Nettie’s Restaurant. She kept her eyes straight and avoided looking at the end of the street where the Sheriff’s Office was. Avoiding Shane wasn’t practical in a town this size but she intended to put off seeing him again for as long as possible.

  They walked into Miss Nettie’s and before the door even shut behind them, a loud squeal sounded and Tessa found herself wrapped in the warm, enthusiastic embrace of Miss Nettie herself. She braced herself and forced the feeling of panic down to awkwardly return the embrace, but she kept her eyes locked on her mother.

  “Tessa Kelly, look at you!” Miss Nettie cried, cupping Tessa’s face in her hands. “You are just as beautiful as ever. I can’t believe it’s been ten years since you were last here.”

  “I’ve been busy,” Tessa hedged.

  “I know you have! Our own G.I. Jane! Come on, Glen is already seated,” she told Mary. She led them through the restaurant slowly, letting people stop them along the way to greet Tessa. By the time they made it to the booth where Gib was waiting, Tessa was trembling and barely holding it together.

  “You’re doing great, kid,” Gib encouraged her when she sat down.

  “You did wonderful, honey,” her mother agreed.

  Tessa shakily lifted the glass of water in front of her and desperately wished it was something stronger, but unfortunately, Miss Nettie didn’t serve alcohol. This was the first time she’d been around a large group of people without the safety of the bar to shield her like she’d had on the beach...and this was home; these were people that, for the most part, she’d known all her life. She really didn’t want to have a melt-down in front of them.

  “Deep breaths, kid,” Gib encouraged, his gravelly Sam Elliott voice a soothing balm to her.

  She nodded then reached across the table and for the second time that day, took his hand in hers, surprising all three of them.

  “I love you, Gib,” she said, further adding to the evening’s surprises. “Thank you for being there for me, and for loving Mama. You are the father of my heart and you have been since I met you twelve years ago. I just...well, life’s too short for you not to know that.”

  He gave her a smile and squeezed her hand. “I love you, too, kid.”

  Tessa smiled then pulled back and brushed her hand over the menu in front of her. “Why does she even bother giving us these? She’s going to bring us whatever it is she thinks we want anyway,” she said, in effort to lighten the mood.

  Mary wiped a tear from her cheek and smiled, too. “You’re right, she will.”

  While her mother and Gib exchanged talk of how their day went, Tessa settled back in her seat and for the first time, glanced around the room at some of the faces she’d known all her life. She took note of the couples who had been together even in high school and pondered over all those she’d grown up with who now had miniature versions of themselves seated around them.

  It was about mid-way through their meal when she felt the atmosphere of the room change. She couldn’t quite place what it was until the doors to Miss Nettie’s private dining area at the rear of the room (which she was facing) opened and a group of kids ran out and one adorable little dark haired girl cried: Uncle Shane! Uncle Shane!

  Her eyes shifted to her mother, whose expression confirmed that the little girl’s uncle was indeed Shane McCanton, and he was currently walking toward the back room.

  “Hey, Kitty Kat,” she heard him say, and she heard the little girl squeal in delight. Two seconds later, he was walking past their table, the little girl holding tight to his neck, the other kids surrounding him.

  She thought she’d be prepared to see him again but she wasn’t. If he had looked the same, maybe she could have dealt better, but the man who walked past her wearing a blue button down shirt, faded jeans and scarred boots was just as her mother had described him: a shell of his former self. He had lost a lot of weight...she’d guess fifty pounds at least. His dark hair, which he’d always worn in a neat, military-style razor cut, had grown out so that it curled slightly, but gave him a softer more vulnerable appearance by calling to attention how much his face had thinned.

  As she watched, he approached the table where his family sat then he leaned down to place a kiss to the lips of a pretty brunette who was looking up at him like he was every movie star rolled into one. He sat, settled the little girl in his lap, and draped an arm over the back of the woman’s chair. She knew the woman had to be the librarian he was seeing, and she saw that this woman was welcomed as part of his family in a way she never had been. It hurt, seeing him, and seeing him with someone else. She thought she was prepared but she’d been sorely mistaken.

  “I’ve got to go,” she said low, her eyes still locked on Shane.

  “Honey, I tried to tell you...”

  “It’s OK, I just...I need to go. Finish your dinner. I’ll walk home.”

  “Tessa,” Gib began but stopped at the look she gave him as she stood.

  “I”m fine, Gib, just...let me walk. I need it.”

  With obvious reluctance, Gib nodded. Tessa’s gaze shifted again to Shane who had now noticed her and his face had gone ashen. Their gazes held for a moment, then she forced herself to turn her back on him and walk away. Several people called out to her; she ignored them all and kept walking. Her mind was blank but for one thought: she’d really and truly lost him.

  She made it out to the gazebo at the town�
�s center before her feet just wouldn’t go forward any more. It felt like a fifty-pound weight was sitting on her chest. She desperately tried to suck air into her lungs but it was difficult.

  “Tessa,” her mother called cautiously, coming slowly to her.

  “Knew this could happen,” she rasped, “Knew...knew it was happening, I just...I didn’t expect it to hurt so much.”

  Mary rubbed her hand in soothing circles over Tessa’s back. “I know, baby.”

  “He really is seeing someone else. He’s moved on,” Tessa breathed.

  Gib pulled up beside them and rolled the window down.

  “Your chariot awaits, my ladies,” he called.

  Tessa locked gazes with Gib and focused on him. He had seen her safely through the desert in Afghanistan, he’d come back and stayed with her when shrapnel from an IED pierced her and killed two of their unit members, and as she’d said, he was the father she never really had. It was in that moment that she realized that while Shane had been the rock of her youth, she wasn’t totally without support. The weight lifted from her chest, not completely, but enough for her to be able to breathe again.

  She stepped out of the gazebo and to Gib’s truck. As she was getting in, she caught sight of Shane standing across the street, hands stuffed in his pockets, shoulders hunched. It hurt, seeing him; seeing what she’d done to him, but she knew at least now that, although it did hurt, she knew she could face going on without him.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Shane finished the last of his paperwork for the day and shut his computer down. His family was meeting at Miss Nettie’s for dinner since his sister Cordy was in town. He hadn’t seen her in a few weeks so he should have been looking forward to it, but instead, he’d been dreading it all day.

  Could be because his mother was on a tear lately about him settling down. Of course, he knew why; it was because Tessa had come home. Susie McCanton didn’t know of his recent history with Tessa, but she knew of their past and now that he’d begun seeing Wendy, she was determined to see them together. Shane liked Wendy well enough, but ever since Tessa had come back to town, his budding relationship with Wendy stalled out. He’d yet to see Tessa but knew it was only a matter of time.

  He left the office and walked over to Miss Nettie’s, greeting town folk as he went. A lot of guys wouldn’t have been able to transition from big city investigator to small town sheriff but because he’d grown up here, he slipped into the role with ease. After all that had happened with the Naturalists, he found that the simplicity of his small hometown suited him.

  “Hey, Sheriff,” Holly, Miss Nettie’s hostess, greeted him when he walked in. “Miss Nettie set y’all up in the private dining room this time. Just go on back.”

  “Thanks,” he said, doing just that.

  As soon as he stepped into the main dining room, Cordy and Gracie’s kids came running out of the private area toward him.

  “Uncle Shane! Uncle Shane!” Cordy’s youngest girl cried, beating the others to him.

  He scooped her up and tossed her high in the air, causing her to squeal in excitement.

  “Hey, Kitty Kat,” he said to her as he made his way to his family.

  “Well, it’s about time,” his mother admonished lightly.

  “Sorry. Busy day...Hi,” he said to Wendy, leaning down to briefly kiss her. Wendy smiled up at him and placed her palm on his cheek in a light caress. He turned his head to kiss her palm then sat with his niece in his lap and draped an arm over the back of Wendy’s chair. He called out greetings to Cordy and her husband and was turning his head to greet Miss Nettie when a movement in the main dining room caught his eye. He felt all the blood drain from his face when he saw it was Tessa who had caught his attention by standing. She looked up and their gazes collided, then she turned her back and walked out.

  “Uncle Shane, too tight,” Kat protested and he realized his fingers had tightened on her waist.

  “Sorry, sugar, go on over to your mom, OK? I gotta go check on something.”

  Kat scurried off his lap and he stood, watching Mary and Gib leave.

  “Shane?” Wendy asked, turning his attention, “what is it?”

  He leaned down and kissed her cheek. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Shane Gabriel, where are you going?” his mother asked.

  “Be back,” he tossed over his shoulder. He made his way out of the restaurant and saw Tessa stop by the gazebo, her mother not far behind her. He crossed to the other side of the street and stayed back a clip, not wanting either woman to spot him. He stuck to the shadows and got close enough to hear Tessa’s strained voice say, “Knew it was happening, I just...I didn’t expect it to hurt so much.”

  He felt his gut flip. Obviously, seeing him with Wendy upset her, but he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Gib pulled up to take the women home. Shane stepped up onto the sidewalk and shoved his hands in his pockets in frustration. Tessa turned and looked across the street to once again meet his gaze. What he saw in her eyes then he knew would be etched on his memory forever. While at the restaurant, her eyes had been bright with unshed tears, now they were tear-free and flat...dead...very un-Tessa-like.

  He stood for several moments after they drove away trying to collect his scattered thoughts. When he found himself hoping a call would come in so he wouldn’t have to go back and face his family, he knew he had to get moving. Taking a deep breath, he turned...and found Wendy standing a few feet away. He hadn’t even heard her approach.

  “Hey,” he greeted, stepping up to her.

  “That was Tessa?” she asked softly. He hadn’t told her the full story, but she knew more than his family did about Tessa.

  He glanced back in the direction Tessa disappeared off to, then again to Wendy.

  “Yeah, that was her.”

  “She’s beautiful.”

  “Wendy-”

  She smiled softly but cut him off. “It’s OK, you haven’t seen her in a long time. Does her being here change things with us?”

  He took a deep breath, released it slowly. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I’d be lying if I said it didn’t.”

  She nodded. “I understand...do you want to be with her again?”

  He closed his eyes. “Right now? My heart can’t take another round with her.”

  “But?” she prompted.

  “But...when she stood up back there and I saw her, it was like everything else in the world disappeared.”

  “I see,” she replied in a small voice. “Even though she hurt you?”

  He wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “I’m not saying I want to take her back. I’m just saying that at some point, she and I will need to talk. If for no other reason than to just formally say good-bye.”

  More tears fell down her cheeks. “OK...then just know that I’ll be waiting for you, on the other side, but I won’t wait forever.” He nodded. She stood on her toes to kiss him then she walked away, leaving him again alone on the street.

  He rubbed the back of his neck. What the heck was he doing? One look at Tessa and here he was, turning his life upside down for her...again. God, would he ever learn? He watched Wendy walk safely to the library where she was parked, then headed back to the restaurant.

  “That was Tessa you followed out, wasn’t it?” Luke asked when Shane returned. He was sitting on a bench just outside the entrance.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “And Wendy just walked back to the library alone.”

  Shane nodded, meeting his dad’s direct gaze. “Yes, sir.”

  They were quiet a minute, Luke staring down at his walking cane while Shane did his best to just keep his mind calm.

  “You have been broken ever since you returned. Your mom and sisters have been worried sick about you. I didn’t tell them what I know.”

  “Appreciate it,” he murmured.

  “I saw her when she stood up. She’s changed a lot since I last saw her. Not a little girl anymore. She looks haunted. Like a lot of th
e guys did coming home from ‘Nam.”

  “She went through Hell, Dad. The kind no woman ever should have to...and she blames me for it.”

  “You know that’s not true, Son.”

  “Maybe. Hell. I don’t know. We were engaged. She threw me out and I haven’t seen her again until tonight.”

  “Trauma changes people...but bottom line? She’s here now and from the look on her face tonight, I don’t think she liked seeing you with Wendy.”

  Shane actually chuckled. “No, sir, I don’t think she did. I hurt Wendy tonight and I hated that...but I’ve got to deal with these feelings I have for Tessa.”

  Luke nodded. “Your mother won’t be happy. She really likes Wendy.”

  “And she’s never liked Tessa, I know. I’m not saying I’m gonna go running back to her exactly. Her shutting me out this last time just about killed me.”

  “I know it did, Son. It’s been hard to see you hurting and know there was nothing I could do to help you.”

  “Am I crazy, Dad? To even think of starting anything with Tessa again? A relationship, a friendship, whatever? She was brutally gang raped and beaten within an inch of her life. You saw her. Do you think she’s even capable of getting close to a man again?”

  “All you can do is try. One way or another, you need to resolve what’s between you for either of you to be able to move forward in your lives.”

  That Monday, Tessa found herself walking into Miss Nettie’s alone. It was three o’clock in the afternoon. Her mother and Gib had gone into Sorghum Mills to a matinee movie. Things at the shop were slow, so she’d shut down and decided after skipping lunch, to grab some of Miss Nettie’s pie at a time she knew the diner wouldn’t be that crowded.

  She walked in and wasn’t surprised in the least when Miss Nettie herself greeted her with open arms.

  “Hello, sweet girl,” Miss Nettie said, “I have missed you so much.”

  Tessa smiled, returning the elderly woman’s embrace. “I’ve missed you, too. Mama and Gib are at the movies so I thought I’d come by for some of your World Famous pie. I’ve missed it.”