Choosing You

by Allie Everhart

  “Is this just something your family does or do other people do this?”

  “Everyone at my prep school had a fake girlfriend or fake boyfriend. It’s just something wealthy families do. It’s stupid, I know. But it’s all about image—who you’re seen with and how it will benefit the family. So we all go along with it and try to secretly date other people on the side.”

  “Did your dad ever find out you were dating someone he didn’t pick?”

  “Yes, but in high school I dated girls at my school so my dad didn’t say anything because they all came from rich and powerful families. If I screwed up and someone got a photo of me with one of those girls, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. But he’d never let me take one of them to a public event. I always had to show up with the girl who was picked for me. I still do, which is why I’m stuck with Courtney today.”

  “Are you making this up?”

  “Why would I make this up? I shouldn’t even be telling you this. This is one of those secrets that’s never supposed to get out. Don’t tell anyone this, by the way. I’m serious. I’m only telling you this because I feel like I owe you the truth.”

  The wind blows and strands of my hair fall onto my face. He reaches over and brushes them behind my ear. “I want you to trust me, Jade. I know that won’t happen overnight but if you give me a chance, I want to try to earn it back.”

  “So what are you proposing?”

  “Let’s just hang out like we did before and get to know each other. Hopefully you’ll see that I’m not just a name. And that I really didn’t mean to hurt you by not telling you the truth.”

  I’m quiet as I pretend to consider his offer. But I don’t need to consider it because it’s exactly what I want. I want to move past this and spend time with him again.

  “If I agree to this, are you gonna make me watch one of those cartoon movies you love so much?” I smile at him.

  He smiles back. “I told you to never bring that up again.” He playfully wrestles me down on my back.

  I fight him, laughing. “I don’t care if you like talking dog movies. I am kinda curious to see what’s so great about it. And I’d love to know how dogs fight crimes. Do they sniff for clues or—”

  Garret’s laughing, too. “Okay, you’re done. No more talking about that movie.” He has my arms pinned down and his face is hovering above mine. He catches my eye and I recognize the look he’s giving me. It’s the same one from the pool. He’s asking me for permission and I really, really want to give him that permission but I can’t. It’s too soon.

  I turn my head to the side. He gets my answer and releases his hold on me, then rolls onto his back.

  We lie there next to each other, the warm sun filtering through the tree above us. I close my eyes and listen as the wind causes the leaves to make a soft rustling sound.

  “So I talked to that girl you like,” I say, keeping my eyes closed. “She said you could start hanging out with her again. Maybe even right now if you’re not too busy. But if you need to head back to your room, that’s okay, too.”

  “Tell her yes. I can hang out now. Or any time she wants.” I glance over at Garret. His eyes are closed but a smile has grown across his face. “Maybe you could ask her if she wants to have lunch before I have to go.”

  My eyes close again. “She says lunch would be good.”

  He doesn’t say anything else. But his hand slides across the blanket and he threads it with mine.

  I guess I was wrong.

  I guess it isn’t too late to make a friend.

  14

  I could stay there the rest of the day. There’s a peacefulness to just being next to Garret, holding his hand, and not saying a word as the last moments of summer fade away.

  After a couple hours, some of which I might have fallen asleep, I feel the blanket move as Garret gets up. “Ready to go to lunch?”

  “Not really.” I look up and see him sitting next to me. “I’m kind of enjoying this too much.”

  “Me too. But I have to be at my house at 1, so if we want to have lunch we should get going.”

  “Do you really have to go?”

  He smiles as he lies back down on his side. “Why? Are you wanting more time with me?” He runs his hand down my arm, then loosely holds my hand. Just the touch of his hand on my skin stirs something in me. A desire. A need to be close to him. To be more than friends. I wonder if he feels it, too.

  “Maybe,” I say, freeing my hand and flipping on my side. “Or maybe I’m just curious why you’re leaving so early.”

  His smile fades as he takes my hand back and rests it on the blanket between us. “This stupid party Courtney’s family does every year is practically an all day event. They invite people over for food and drinks by the pool in the afternoon, then everyone comes back later that night for a formal dinner and dance.”

  “So do you drink at this event?”

  “It’s the only way I can get through it.”

  “And the adults don’t care?”

  “By dinner half of them will be drunk themselves.”

  We’re quiet for a moment. All I can think about is Courtney and how she had her hands all over Garret at the party last week. In a few short hours she’ll be all over him again, acting like they’re a couple. And how will he act? Will he go along with it? Kiss her? Hold her hand like he’s holding mine right now? If he’s drinking he’ll probably do that and more.

  I sit up. “Would you do something for me?”

  “Probably. What is it?”

  “Would you try not to drink at this thing?”

  He sighs and rolls on his back. “Come on, Jade. I need at least two drinks just to put up with Courtney.”

  “No you don’t. Believe me. I’ve been through way worse things than that and I’ve never had a drop of alcohol. And as you can see, I managed to survive.”

  He sits up, facing me. “You’ve never had a drink? Not even a beer? Or a sip of wine? Nothing?”

  I shake my head.

  “Wow. That’s impressive. But I don’t know. I don’t think I can go that whole time without a drink.”

  “Will you at least try?”

  He takes a moment to consider it. “Okay, I’ll try.” He stands up and holds out his hands to help me up. I take our notebooks while Garret folds up the blanket.

  “I don’t want Professor Hawkins to see what I wrote,” I say. “I’m going to rip out that page and write something else, okay?”

  “Maybe we should get our own notebooks. Ones just for you and me.”

  “What for?”

  “Sometimes it’s easier to write stuff down than to say it out loud. We might need to do that again.”

  “Yeah. Okay.”

  I’m not sure what I’d write in them after today, but I have to admit it was easier to put my innermost thoughts on paper than to say them. There’s no way I could have actually said those words to Garret. I could barely write them.

  In the dining hall, I spot Harper sitting by herself eating lunch and reading a book. “Can we join you?” I ask, putting my tray in front of her.

  “Sure.” She closes her book and sets it on the seat next to her. “I was wondering where you—” She stops when she sees Garret come up behind me. He sets his tray down and gives Harper that perfect smile that seems to make girls go into some type of trance.

  “Hi. We haven’t met but Jade has told me all about you. I’m Garret by the way,” he glances at me, “in case Jade hasn’t mentioned me, which knowing her, she probably hasn’t.”

  “Um, no. She’s mentioned you,” Harper says, staring at Garret like she can’t get enough of him. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Harper, right?”

  She doesn’t respond. I kick her foot under the table.

  “Yeah. Harper. Harper Douglas. I’m from LA.”

  “Is your dad Kipher Douglas? The director?”

  “Yeah. How did you know?”

  “Your dad’s been at some fundraisers at my house. I
’ve met your mom, too. You look just like her.”

  “All us girls do. I have two sisters.” Harper has lost all interest in her lunch. She’s too focused on listening to Garret’s every word.

  “So how do you like Connecticut?”

  “I like it. I needed a break from the whole LA scene. I wanted to try someplace completely different than what I was used to. My dad actually suggested I apply at Moorhurst. They have a good communications program here, which is what I want to do. Plus they let me play on the tennis team.”

  “How long have you played tennis?”

  “Ten years. But I’m not that good. Moorhurst doesn’t exactly have the best team. I just wanted to be on any team.” She picks at her salad with her fork but doesn’t eat it. “So are you two going to that party tonight down on Beech Street?”

  “Garret already has plans,” I say.

  “You should go to the party with Harper,” Garret says to me.

  “No, I don’t feel like going.”

  Harper sets down her fork and pushes her tray aside. “I’ve asked her repeatedly to go to parties with me and she always says no.”

  “I have homework to catch up on and then maybe I’ll watch TV.”

  “You don’t even have a TV,” Garret reminds me.

  “I know, but I’ll use the TV down the hall.”

  “I have to go.” Harper gets up to leave. “I’ll see you guys later.”

  “I’ve got an idea,” Garret says once Harper is gone. “I’ll give you my key and you can use my room tonight. Watch all the TV and movies you want. I have at least 100 movies in that box and my TV is brand new. Hi-def. Surround sound. The works. What do you think?”

  “You don’t care if I’m in your room without you there?”

  He laughs. “Why would I care? Are you gonna trash it or something? Throw a party in there?”

  “No, I just wanted to make sure it was okay.”

  “I’m the one who suggested it.”

  “Then, yes. I’d like that. Thanks for offering.”

  He glances at his watch. “I have to get ready.”

  “You’re leaving already? You just sat down. It’s only 11:45.”

  “I’ve got some things to do. I’ll stop by on my way out and drop off the key.”

  In the afternoon I do homework, then go for a run and have dinner. By 7, I’m already bored and decide to go upstairs to watch a movie.

  As I leave my room, girls race past me in their bathrobes getting ready to go out. When I get to the second floor I find a similar scene, only instead of girls there are shirtless guys with towels around their waists. I suddenly feel like I shouldn’t be up here, even though I know girls are up here all the time. Some even spend the night on this floor. I hurry down to Garret’s room and use the key he gave me to unlock the door.

  When I get inside, I see that his laptop and books have been cleared off his desk and in their place is a pile of food. Not really a pile but an arranged assortment of snack items. There’s a sign taped on the wall above the desk that reads Concession Stand and next to the words he’s drawn those cartoon popcorn and soda people you see at the movies. On the table he has five full size bags of potato chips, some bags of popcorn, a bag of pretzels, a tall glass with red licorice sticking out of it, and at least eight boxes of candy like they sell at the theater. I spot a note next to the licorice that reads, Sodas are in the fridge. Enjoy your movies!—G.

  I can’t believe Garret made me a concession stand. That must be why he had to leave during lunch. I go over to the mini fridge and inside is an assortment of different sodas along with another note, Wasn’t sure what you liked so I got one of each.

  As I take a soda from the fridge I catch my reflection in the mirror and notice the huge grin on my face. I was already happy he let me use his TV but his homemade snack stand was a really great surprise.

  Maybe I need to grow up and act like other people my age, but to me, this is the perfect Saturday night. Movies and junk food. It’s so much better than being at some house party surrounded by obnoxious drunk people spilling beer all over me and vomiting on the carpet.

  The box of movies is still on the floor where it was last time. As I’m going through it trying to decide what to watch, the phone rings. Do I answer it? It’s probably the wrong number. Garret doesn’t use that phone. In fact I’m almost certain I’m the only person on campus who uses the room phone. Everyone else uses their cell phone. The ringing is really getting on my nerves so I get up and answer it.

  “Hello?”

  “So you are there,” Garret says. “What are you doing answering my phone?”

  “Oh. Sorry. I shouldn’t have, but it kept—”

  “I’m kidding, Jade. I don’t care if you answer it, although it probably won’t ring again. Nobody calls that number.”

  “Hey, thanks for doing all this. I was so excited when I opened the door and saw this.”

  “Really? It’s just some snacks.”

  “Yeah, but you went to all that trouble to buy them and set them up like this.”

  “Jade, it was no big deal. I just ran out after lunch and got some stuff. I’ve noticed your potato chip addiction by the way.”

  He doesn’t seem to get how much I appreciate the gesture. People don’t do stuff like that for me. I don’t get surprises or presents. My mom ignored my birthday every year as well as Christmas and other holidays. That was fine with me because I figured she’d just use the holidays as an excuse to drink more.

  “Well, it’s a big deal to me, so thanks for doing it.”

  “You’re welcome. Also, that key I gave you is yours. I had it made while I was out. That way you can watch TV or movies whenever you want.”

  “Garret, you shouldn’t have done that.”

  “I had to. You don’t have a TV. Plus now, if I ever lose my key, I can just come downstairs and get my spare.”

  “So that’s the real reason you made an extra key,” I kid. “How’s the party?”

  “Same as it is every year. Blake’s here, but he’s leaving soon to go to some party near campus. Sierra and Ava are here, too. You met them, right?”

  “Yeah, they live on my floor. Is half the school there or what?”

  “Not half, but a lot of them are. This is a huge event. The place is packed. Dinner starts in a few minutes, but I wanted to call you quick and see if you needed anything.”

  “I don’t need anything. Thanks again for letting me use your stuff.”

  “You don’t have to keep thanking me, Jade. What’s mine is yours. Use anything in there. I gotta go. My little sister’s pulling me away for dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  I go back to the box of movies and pick out two, just in case I’m able to stay awake that long. Rather than sit in the bean bag chair, I watch from Garret’s bed. It smells like him, with just the slightest hint of his cologne. By 11, I’m really sleepy but I put in one more movie. It’s an action film so I figure it will keep me awake.

  “Jade, I’m back.” I hear Garret’s voice and quickly sit up. He’s sitting right next to me on the bed.

  “What time is it?”

  “It’s 8:30.”

  “In the morning? Crap! I didn’t mean to spend the night here. I must have fallen asleep.”

  “It’s okay. I don’t care. But you left the TV on all night.”

  You left the TV on! You think I have money to run that damn thing all night you ungrateful spoiled brat! I hear her screaming and I duck down knowing she’s going to hurl the TV remote at me. I can almost hear it hitting the wall with a short loud thump.

  “I’m sorry! I won’t do it again! I promise! I’ll never do it again!” I notice my own voice yelling in the room as I struggle to get free from whatever is touching me.

  “Jade, stop.” Garret is holding my shoulders, staring at me. “I was just kidding. I don’t care that you left it on.”

  The voice in my head is gone and I feel my face heating up. “No. I wasn’t talking to you. I was
. . .” My voice trails off.

  “Who were you talking to?”

  “Nobody. I need to go.” I try to get off the bed but he won’t let me.

  “Wait. What just happened? Why were you screaming at me?”

  “I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry. Now let me go.”

  “Something’s wrong. You totally changed just now. You were all happy and smiling and then all of a sudden you changed. What happened? Was it something I said?”

  “It has nothing to do with you.”

  He lets me up. “Then tell me what’s wrong.”

  “I can’t. I don’t want to talk about it.”

  As I head for the door, Garret steps in front of me. He reaches around me and pulls me into a hug. I stand there with my arms stiffly at my sides.

  He’s laughing. “Jade, you’re doing the exact same thing you did after the pool that night. Don’t you know how to do this?”

  “Do what?”

  “Give a person a hug.”

  “I’m not much of a hugger.”

  “Well, you need one, so don’t just stand there. Put your damn arms around me.”

  I wrap my arms loosely around him.

  “What the hell? Tighten your arms. I’m not going to break.”

  I bring my arms closer to his body.

  “That’s better.”

  After a few seconds, I start to pull away. Garret tightens his hold.

  “Nope. You’re not done yet. You need more time.”

  “What? No. I’m done.”

  “You don’t like this?”

  “I like it, but I’m done.” I’d have no problems being this close to him if we were making out, but this hug thing is totally different. It’s too intimate.

  “You need at least a minute.”

  “How do you know what I need?”

  “I can tell. You were all tensed up before. You’re starting to get less tense, but you’re not relaxed yet so we’re staying here until you are.”

  “You’re crazy.”

  “Whatever, but I’m not letting go until you relax.”

  I sigh and resume the hug. My mother was not a hugger. Frank and Ryan aren’t huggers either. Ryan’s farewell hug when he dropped me off here was only the second hug he ever gave me, the first one being at my graduation. I am not at all good at this.