by Avery Kloss
“No.”
“I can’t sleep either.”
I yawned, “Try.” Her hand slid over to my side of the pelt, searching for something. “What are you doing?” Grasping my hand, she pulled it. “What?”
“Just do this,” she whispered, thrusting my hand between her thighs.
She demanded I touch her on occasion, almost as often as she did it to herself. Annoyed, I snatched my hand back, turning a shoulder to her. “Go to sleep.”
“Oh, please, Peta.” She snuggled into my back. “It feels so nice. It’ll help me sleep.”
“No,” I muttered.
“I’ll do it for you.”
“Stop being a pest.”
“Oh, fine!”
Closing my eyes, I tried to sleep, feeling movement beside me, and knowing Ara pleasured herself. At long last, she stilled, the embers crackling in the hearth, the fire diminished. Upon waking, I lay with the pelt over my head, annoyed by the calls of a noisy bird outside. I slept a little longer, not desiring to get up just yet. Ara continued to sleep.
“There’s no need to hunt today, girls,” said Kia. “We need to wash.”
Maggi crawled out from beneath Kia’s pelt, yawning, with messy hair around her face. “I don’t like cold water.”
I smiled, because she reminded me of myself at that age. “I don’t either.”
“Nevertheless, it shall be done.” Kia held out her hand. “Come have some dried meat. We eat, and then we go. I want to beat all the pelts and clean the floor. The hut is dirty. If Sungir were alive, he’d be displeased. You know he liked it clean.”
“Oh, all right.” I tossed back the pelt. “Just give me a moment.”
Ara stirred, looking tired, her eyes bleary. “It’s too early.”
“Get up, girl. We’re leaving soon.”
She grumbled in reply.
All manner of birdcalls sounded overhead, the thin path winding around a grouping of large boulders, the lower portions covered in a greenish type of moss. The bow slung over a shoulder, I listened for every noise, always wary of predators. Ara and I faced one of the furry, ferocious woodland creatures once, the animal having sniffed us out. He had growled, the teeth and claws sharp-looking. Should we cross paths with such an animal without Sungir, he told us to make as much noise as possible to discourage it, which we did, screaming and flailing our arms. The creature ambled off then, leaving us in peace.
Despite my skill as a hunter and knowledge of these woods, I continued to be ever vigilant, concerned that Ara and Maggi did not do the same, their voices raised in laughter and conversation.
After arriving at the stream, we ventured down to the deeper part, stripping off our leather skirts and wading in, the water far too cold to be comfortable. Shivering, I squatted, catching sight of myself in the reflection, seeing a woman with messy, golden hair. I scrubbed everywhere as best as I could, cleaning my face. Shivering, I ambled out, sitting on the rocky embankment, watching as Ara and Maggi waded in.
“It’s so cold!” cried Maggi. “Ugh. Terrible.”
“A warm bath is a luxury we don’t have,” said Kia, tossing a handful of water into her face and rubbing. “This won’t take long.”
I hadn’t wet my hair, the strands warming my back. “Are we done yet?” I shivered, wishing for the sun, but a tree stood in the way.
“Why don’t you go back then?” Kia sat in the middle of the brook, scrubbing her arms. “We’ll join you shortly.”
My teeth chattered. “All right.” I tied the leather around my waist, reaching for the bow. “Please be wary of predators. See you soon.” I eyed the three of them in the middle of the stream. “I’ll stoke the fire.”
“We won’t be long,” said Ara. “I’ll watch over them.” My sister could more than protect herself, having the same skills I had.
I left then, returning to the hut, the forest alive with birdcalls, an insect flying over my head. The warmth of the sun fell upon my shoulders, some meager light managing to slip between the branches. At the hut, I tossed in several pieces of wood, the fire bursting to life, while I waited for my family to return. Wrapping a pelt around my shoulders, I grew warm soon enough, feeling refreshed from the bath.
Picking at my fingernails, I listened for voices, knowing they would arrive at any moment, but I heard nothing other than the crackling of the fire. An uneasy feeling pricked at me, propelling me to my feet, where I glanced out the door of the hut. The birds chirped above, the happy, busy sound of animals feeding their young. All seemed peaceful …
Something’s the matter …
Retrieving the bow, I slung it over my shoulder, running from the house and down the path. I glanced this way and that, not seeing anything but the trees and hearing nothing other than my own breath, which filled the air around me. Emerging at the stream, I ventured to the spot where we bathed, not more than a few moments ago … or had it been longer? I did not see Kia or my sisters. Perhaps they decided to forage or they had taken another way home. Again, I felt a profound and discomforting feeling, the distinct impression that something was wrong. Eyeing the ground, I noted the footprints, seeing those that belonged to my family, their feet smaller than mine.
Then I glimpsed something else, my belly clenching sharply. Another set of footprints appeared, larger and heavier looking, the indentations deeper. I scoured the ground, eyeing every bush and rock, seeing a tiny broken branch and another set of prints, until they vanished. Scrambling back to the path, I glanced at the ground, listening to the wind. There were no prints here. Rushing to the stream again, I searched for where the footprints went, realizing they disappeared into the forest, not onto a path at all. Tears flooded my eyes, while a burst of panic rippled through me.
“Calm yourself, child,” said a voice in my head, sounding like Sungir. “When you hunt prey, you must do so carefully and quietly. There are clues, if you stop to seek them out. Look high and low, Peta. Turn over every stone. You’ll find what you’re looking for.”
I struggled to remain composed, my lips quivering with a rising sense of dread. In an instant, my family had vanished. Someone or something found them by the brook, and now they were gone.
Chapter Thirty-Four
I scoured the forest all that day and the next, often crawling to get a closer look at bushes, searching for any clue as to where my mother and sisters had gone to. Several days later, I sat before the hearth with my face down, tears falling steadily. Their trail ran cold too easily, the footprints just disappearing. Exhausted from searching every moment I could, I shuddered and screamed, the sound echoing in the room.
“Where are you?”
Facing another night alone, I barred the door, preparing to sleep, but I knew I would wake at the slightest noise, my weapon next to me. It felt horrible being in the hut by myself, knowing my family was somewhere else, but where?
Come sunrise, I hunted again, although not for game. I scoured every part of the forest, going further and further every day, yet not finding an answer. I climbed the highest tree and sat there endlessly, often closing my eyes to sleep with my forehead on my knees. The only sounds I heard came from birdcalls and the yapping of some animal in the dead of night.
Crying myself to sleep became all too familiar. Then I would wake to exhaustion, feeling as if I was the last person in the land. Many days later, I forced myself to hunt, needing to find something more substantial than berries and nuts. I killed a stag, gutting it and dragging it back, slicing it apart before the hut. Smoking the meat gave me an occupation, something new on which to settle my troubled thoughts. Where and why had my family been taken?
I assumed men came through and found them, snatching them away. Perhaps, they were now with a larger clan, living a new life, an existence with greater opportunity than being hidden in a dense forest. I watched the smoke waft through the meat, hanging in strips near the fire. I wanted to continue to think on the situation, but my mind went blank.
Rising early every morning, after
not sleeping, I found myself often in the tree, eyeing the plains, the great mountain, and the forest beyond. The thick branches allowed me to sit cross-legged, eating dried meat and contemplating my life.
And then …
Every day was the same …
I sat by the fire every night …
Wondering …
Waiting for … my family to return …
… but they didn’t …
Days and nights passed without any idea of where Kia or Ara or Maggi had gone. The not knowing felt like torture, my mind often seeing terrible images of them being hurt or neglected or perhaps they had died already. I then cried endlessly, never knowing such pain.
I found myself before Sungir’s grave one day, staring at the stones we laid after his burial. “What do I do now? You lived here alone for many, many seasons. I don’t know if I can do that, Sungir. I never knew how much I needed my family until they vanished. I’m a poor hunter. I’ve failed. If I had any skill at all, I would’ve found the tracks. They were still nearby when I discovered them gone. I could’ve followed and freed them.” I hung my head, tangled hair falling all around me. “I’m ashamed.”
The only answer was the wind; the sound of leaves rustling in the branches.
Not knowing what to do, I did nothing at all. After pondering my predicament throughout the warm season, it wasn’t surprising when the weather turned, the first of the leaves falling. I hunted and gathered what food I could, smoking a great deal of meat and storing it. I tended to the garden, pulling weeds and harvesting the last of the edibles.
Then I sat inside when the rain came, using all the pelts beneath me to make a comfortable bed. A sore on my foot would not heal, so I made an ointment like Sungir had shown me. When I suffered a headache, I ground herbs to drink in a tea to alleviate the pain. By the time the first storm blew, the ground covered in white, I noticed blood on my thigh, knowing what it was.
If Kia and my sisters were here they would celebrate the momentous arrival into womanhood, but … I was alone. I tied leather around me, bringing it up between my legs and tucking it in. We did this sort of thing for the babies. I did not give this particular rite of passage much thought afterwards, putting my head down to sleep. As the cold season enveloped the land in white, I slept a great deal, finally being able to rest without waking at the slightest noise. Having enough meat to see me through, I did not need to leave the hut, often sleeping the entire day away.
A pronounced lethargy crept upon me, my thoughts often not making any sense, so I shut them down by closing my eyes. Even after slumbering all day, I still felt tired, sleeping even more. After the worst of the storms passed, I emerged into the sunlight for the first time in an age, staring at the shack that housed us for a few nights, a host of unwanted memories returning. My body tensed then, jolted awake by the reality that my self-imposed exile had lasted this long. My family had not returned, although I waited …
Dropping to my knees, I cried endlessly, my face in my hands. When I lifted my tear-streaked gaze, a man stood before me. I had not heard his approach. Gasping, I jumped to my feet, blinking away the wetness and recognizing him. He came every season to trade with Sungir, the man of Kia’s race.
“What’s happened here?” He wore a hide of dark brown fur, a stick in his hand, with a host of leather pouches strapped to his back. Stocky legs bulged with muscles, his feet encased in soft hide, tied around the ankle. “What’s that smell?”
“Renold?”
“Yes, you remember who I am. Why hasn’t Sungir greeted me?” He frowned, the bridge above his eyes prominent.
“He’s dead.”
Inquisitive eyes drifted up and down my person. “Where’s Kia?”
“She’s gone.” Tears flooded again at the thought, not having said those words out loud in a long time.
“You look terrible, girl. What’s happened to you?”
“You may come in, but … it’s not clean.” Having hidden in the hut all season, I only came out to relieve myself. It smelled of stale air and sweaty pelts. I waited for him by the doorway, wondering why he hesitated.
“Are there dead bodies inside?”
“No.” I shook my head. My goodness, I must stink worse than I thought. “You needn’t come in, if you don’t wish to.”
“What’s happened?”
“Sungir died before the warm season. Kia and Ara and Maggi disappeared. They were taken. They went to the brook to wash, and that was the last I’ve seen of them.”
His look remained grim. “I understand now. You’re all alone.”
“Yes.” And then it dawned on me that I was a fool. He had always behaved respectfully towards us when trading with Sungir, but now that I was alone … would that change? Did I have the strength to even lift my weapon anymore?
“Have you eaten?”
“I have meat.”
“I’m sorry for your troubles, Peta.”
“I don’t know where my mother’s gone. I don’t know where my sisters are.” Tears fell again. “Who would take them?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen anything. Things are thawing, so I decided to come this way. I … you might want to consider leaving. Sungir enjoyed his own company a great deal. I don’t think you’re fit for such a life, girl.”
I had wondered the same thing. “Where would I go?”
“You can come with me, if you like, but … I refuse to go near the white clans. They’re dangerous, even for a trader. They kill us on sight. I could direct you towards where one or two might be, but you’ll have to approach on your own.”
“I’m not certain I like that.”
“Or you could stay here. This dwelling is sound. Sungir lived here in peace for many seasons.”
“What is your advice?”
“My advice?” This seemed to amuse him. “Firstly, I’d wash. You smell, girl. Then I’d clean out the hut, if you intend on staying.”
“It would be the safest thing to do.” But the endless days had eaten away at me, my mind becoming clouded and confused, although the fresh air felt wonderful in my lungs. “It would be easy to stay. I know how to hunt. I can plant the garden.”
He digested my words, looking grim. “If I might give an honest opinion.”
“Yes?”
“You need to be among your own people, Peta. You need a mate. You need children. Someone like Sungir could survive here, but a young woman such as yourself needs … a family. I suggest you find a clan at the earliest opportunity. I shall make a camp near here. I’ll leave in the morning. If you wish to come with me, you’ll know where I am.” He eyed the hut regretfully. “What a shame. I looked forward to a nice meal and a comfortable bed.”
“I’m sorry.” I could hardly explain why I had let things go so badly, not understanding any of it myself. “I’ll try to be better.”
“What will you do?”
“I’m going to think on it, Renold. I’m grateful you came by, I really am. I needed to speak to another soul. I … it’s been so long.”
“When did Kia and your sisters go missing?”
“At the beginning of the warm season.”
“That’s a long time. The loneliness has taken a toll on you. Your bad fortune is a shame, but it can be reversed. I know you’re resourceful. Like you said, you can hunt; you can take care of yourself. I’ve no doubt about that. You managed to subsist through the bad weather. Physically, you are well.”
I nodded, knowing how I would spend the rest of the day, although I hated frigid water. “If you don’t see me at daybreak, then I’ve decided something else.”
“I hope you won’t live here alone.”
“No. I can see that now. I need to leave. Before I go, I wish to prepare for such a trip. I have to decide what direction I’m going in.”
“There are clans about, but be careful. I recommend those to the south, rather than the north.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Then I wish you good luck on your j
ourney, Peta. May you find a future that brings you joy.” He eyed the hut. “This is a sad place now. I doubt I shall return. The loss of Sungir is regrettable, but he wasn’t a young man. I expected him to perish many seasons before he did. Being with your family kept him alive longer than if he’d been alone. You gave him a reason to live. You filled his last years with purpose and happiness. I know he loved you.”
That brought a rush of tears to my eyes, a fresh wave of anguish appearing. My lower lip trembled.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you pain. I think I saw a grave on the way in. The place with all the rocks?”
“Yes,” I managed.
“I’ll stop by and pay my respects.” He nodded solemnly. “It was good to see you. We might never cross paths again. I wish you the best.”
“Thank you. May you travel safe.” He walked away then, a riot of feelings drifting through me, but one stood out above them all.
It was time to say goodbye to the woods. I had to face my fear, which felt formidable. I prayed I had the strength. I was going to need it.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Despite knowing what I had to do, leaving proved difficult, and I found myself delaying, making excuses to wait a few more days, then a few more and more … until the height of the warm season arrived. I hunted regularly and smoked the meat, having beaten out all the pelts and sharpened each spear tip to a fine point.
Sitting before the fire one evening, I stared at the flames, the warmth offering an empty type of comfort. “If you don’t go soon, you’ll have to wait until next season.” I spoke to myself often, having lengthy conversations. “Leave at daybreak, Peta. Why are you waiting?”
I knew the answer. Fear. Having sat in the tree and surveyed the land, I needed to cross a vast prairie. This was the place where the big cats hunted. Memories of Bena, all those seasons ago, returned; the fear, the horror of her death felt far too real. I wanted to see the land on the other side of the mountain, where a forest stood, but …
“I can wait another day or two.” But then I knew it would be too late. I might never leave. Lying upon a pelt, I sighed heavily. “Never mind. I’ll go at daybreak.” I had made up my mind, knowing I was ready.