by Avery Kloss
Closing my eyes, I slept fitfully, tossing and turning, images of sharp-toothed cats and other predators tumbling around in my mind. Come daybreak, I sat up tiredly, but I remained determined to leave, packing my things and rolling up a pelt. I wore several bundles on my back with a leather skirt around my waist. Eating the rest of the berries I found yesterday, I eyed the hut one last time. This had been my home for most of my years, and I would miss it.
“Goodbye,” I murmured.
Stepping out, I slid the door in place, although it didn’t matter. One day someone would find the hut. They might even choose to live here. As I walked away carrying a spear, with the bow slung across my shoulders, I bid it farewell. Passing Sungir’s grave a moment later, I stopped, staring at the collection of rocks, having gotten them from a riverbed.
“Thank you, Sungir. Thank you for taking such good care of us. Thank you for being kind. I’ll always consider you my mentor, but more importantly, my father.” He spent his last years surrounded by women, yet he did not care in the least, treating the girls as if they were his sons, teaching us everything he would have taught a son. “I love you, Sungir.”
I walked away, as tears fell, knowing I would never be here again. Then, as I did every morning, I wondered how my mother and sisters were, where they were, and prayed for their happiness. A full season had passed since they had disappeared, leaving a terrible empty feeling inside of me.
“You mustn’t think on it, Peta. It’s a new beginning. Perhaps one day I’ll see them again.” I fingered the pendant hanging from my neck, a reminder of people from long ago who had once meant everything to me. “I won’t forget you.”
Then I set about the task of walking. I focused solely on one step at a time, until I came to the edge of the forest, finding the grassland that I feared the most, knowing the big cats hunted here. The sun sat high, the air warm, while the fragrance of wild flowers filled my senses. I observed the prairie carefully, not seeing the cats, although I knew they were here … somewhere.
I had little choice but to cross, wanting to reach the forest on the other side. I grasped the spear tightly, stepping into the pasture. Having almost no rain lately, the grass had dried to a golden brown, the stalks reaching my waist. I hoped I might blend in, with tan skin and fair hair. Brown leather hung from my back, all my worldly possessions within. As quickly and silently as I could, I walked, glancing in all directions for signs of trouble. Stags grazed in the distance, but they did not worry me in the least.
Washing my face and arms in a riverbed, I made a small fire, and pondered the success of the day. My fear of the big cats came to naught, as I hadn’t seen any. I now sat on the edge of the forest I had observed from the top of the tree. The pelt lay between two enormous rocks, offering a little shelter. As I listened to the night sounds, something hooted in the tree nearby, while insects made all manner of noises, but I found these oddly soothing.
“This isn’t so bad,” I murmured, chewing on a piece of meat. “I’ve done well, I suppose.” Reclining, I eyed the blackish sky, with a wash of brilliant, sparkling stars. “Goodnight, Kia. Goodnight, Ara. Goodnight, Maggi.” I often spoke of my family to remember them. As time went by, I struggled to recall exactly what they looked like, feeling a measure of guilt over that fact. “Maybe I’ll find you.” Then I thought of where they might be. “I hope you’re well. I hope you’re happy.”
Closing my eyes, I slept fitfully, something waking me in the middle of the night. I held the spear, getting to my feet, but nothing other than the wind disturbed the land. Once the sky filled with light in the distance, a hazy, yellow looking spot on the horizon, I shook out the pelt, rolling it up. Then I set out again, heading into the forest, where I walked for a long while, before stopping to pick berries.
My thighs began to ache as the day wore on, even my feet protesting the constant movement. Stopping to drink water from a clear brook, I left my things by a tree, reaching for the lower limbs and climbing. Feeling the sun upon my face, I went as high as I dared, the branches too thin above me. Peering out, I saw nothing other than trees, with the mountain behind me. I would move on the way I planned.
This nomadic existence became my life, every day the same, waking and walking and climbing to see where I was. The forest stretched on to the horizon, the smoky mountain now a tiny speck behind me. As I clung to a branch that swayed in the wind, I experienced my first inkling of doubt. The possibility existed that I might never meet another soul in this vast wilderness. Why had I assumed my mother and sister came here? All the tribes I had heard about lived beyond the prairie on the other side of the mountain.
“You’ve made a mistake, Peta,” I mumbled to myself, as the wind blew hair into my face. “There’s no one here. I could go back, I suppose.” Resting my head against the limb by my hand, I gazed at the ground below, my things in a pile there. “What have I done?”
That night by the fire, I began to cry, the old familiar feelings of sorrow settling upon me. I had kept them at bay for as long as I could, but they returned with a vengeance now. I admitted to being utterly exhausted. I slept little at night, never feeling safe in the open, and then I walked all day. Lifting my head from my knees, a pair of incandescent eyes stared at me from within a bush.
I gasped, but then realized it was just a woodland creature that meant no harm. “It’s nothing.”
Forcing myself to lie down, I listened to the noises, eventually closing my eyes and drifting into a light sleep. Waking more than once during the night, I tried to sleep again before dawn, but I could not.
“I might as well walk. If I’m not sleeping, I should just go.” Rolling up the pelt, I gathered my belongings, having a strip of dried meat and eating it along the way.
When I stopped for a drink a long while later, I felt an odd inkling, the sensation settling into the back of my neck. Turning around, I found nothing other than the forest, but … it felt as if I were being watched. Not desiring to linger, I continued walking, although a little faster, gripping the spear with determination, aware of every single noise around me, once even hiding behind a tree to see what came.
Something stalked me. I knew it. I could feel it.
That night, I sat by the fire listening to the sounds … hearing something cracking in the distance. I had already climbed a tree to have a look, seeing nothing other than trees, the smoking mountain long since disappeared. After another fitful night, I gathered my bundles and set out, still feeling as if I had a shadow. I picked berries and nuts, stopping to drink, all the while looking over my shoulder.
“Who are you?” I whispered. “Why are you following me?”
Later that evening, I lit a fire, but I felt decidedly on edge. I sat on the pelt and considered my options, wondering now if the thing that followed me was human or not. After another fitful night, I set a plan in motion before the sun came up, making one of Sungir’s animal snares, placing some dried meat in the middle of a leather circle. It would close around whoever tried to eat it.
After arranging the trap, I ventured to a small brook to wash, always mindful and listening to the sounds around me. Then I walked slowly in a large circle around where I set my trap. Being hunted in this manner, I suspected the animal might be here … somewhere. Gathering my belongings, I picked at my teeth with a small branch, the end having fanned out like a brush.
“I need to go,” I murmured, tossing the stick aside. “Let’s check that trap, Peta. I’m curious if anything’s in there.” I got to my feet, slinging the bow and a leather pouch over my back. “I doubt I caught anything.” Then I had a thought. “A hyena might be delicious. My meat supply is running low.”
Delving between two towering trees, I ventured in the direction of the trap, not expecting to find anything. The sticks I used remained up, but something looked entirely different about the contraption, an animal having its paw caught in the leather. Stunned, I stared at the creature, realizing it was a young wolf.
My mouth fell open. “Oh!
” I stopped a pace or two away, eyeing the animal. It fought against the leather, whimpering. “Is it you? Have you been following me?” The wolf was quite young, far too young to be on its own. “Are you injured?” He struggled in the binds, whimpering and growling now, the sound high-pitched. “I won’t hurt you.”
I approached slowly, speaking in a soft, low voice, so not to frighten it further. “If you’re the one following me, I don’t mind. You seem like a nice enough little fellow. What are you doing all alone out here?” I knelt by the trap, the animal thrashing to free itself. “I know that doesn’t hurt. You’re not in pain.”
Reaching out to touch the leather, he growled, biting my finger. “Ouch!” I winced, while blood appeared on my hand. “That wasn’t very nice, but I understand you’re scared.” I forced myself to reach for the leather again, hoping to not sustain another bite. I quickly pulled the snare off from around his paw, the animal darting into the forest a moment later. “You’re welcome.” Sitting back on my heels, I eyed the trees, wondering if he had been the one stalking me.
Chapter Thirty-Six
That evening by the fire, I became acutely aware of my shadow, the little creature in the forest that followed me all day. Chewing on meat, I saw the glow of its eyes in the brush. “I know you’re there. I can see you.”
I received no answer, the little wolf eventually settling in for the night. I did the same, lying back on the pelt and staring at the twinkling flecks of light in the sky. There were far too many to count, and one streaked then, disappearing within an instant.
At daybreak, I gathered everything, eyeing the small stash of meat left, knowing I would have to hunt soon. If I killed a stag, I would be obligated to dry the meat, which required I spend the day in one place. I decided to leave my things by a tree, which stood near a brook. Then I ventured forth with the bow to find game, although I managed to scare off every stag I encountered.
Dismayed, I returned to the tree and sat miserably, watching the shadows around me play out and deepen, the evening fast-approaching. “I wasted an entire day,” I muttered. “It was easier to hunt at home.” I thought about the hut and all the memories created there, realizing it had been the only home I had ever known. Resting my forehead to my knees, I cried again, tiredness making things that much worse. Sensing I had an audience, I lifted my head to stare into the forest, seeing a patch of brown and grey between the leaves. “I know you’re there, wolf. I can see you.”
He did not answer nor did he leave, the animal watching me. I sighed resignedly, needing to find water and settle in for the night, but I lacked the energy. Before it became truly dark, I ventured to the brook, dunking a skin beneath the surface. After I made a fire, I dropped a hot rock within, the water bubbling profusely. I drank it when it wasn’t as hot, reclining on the bedding and eyeing the sky overhead. Closing my eyes, I woke with a start, hearing a growl. Panic had me reaching for a weapon, whilst jumping to my feet.
No sooner had I done so then the flashing eyes of an animal approached, the woodland creature enormous, its fur dark brown. I had encountered these before, knowing how dangerous they could be. It bounded towards me on all fours, its ragged breathing echoing in the silent forest.
Before it attacked, I held out the spear, shouting, “Away with you! Get away from me!” I did not wish to spear the thing, hoping to frighten it off. “Away! Go away!”
The animal stopped short of where I stood, snorting its displeasure. So close I could smell the pungent quality of the hide, it sniffed and snorted, grunting at me.
“Away! Go away!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. “Away with you!” For a moment, I thought the worst. I thought it would attack, leaving me with no choice other than to kill it. “Away!” With one last snort, it flung itself around and bounded back into the forest.
My heart beat furiously within my chest, my senses alert to whatever new threat might present itself. I had little chance of sleeping now, far too agitated to rest fully. The little wolf’s growling alerted me to danger, having woken me. I eyed the forest, but I did not see flashing eyes.
I ate the last of the dried meat a day later, staring glumly into the forest. I did not wake at first light anymore, sleeping then, as I hardly slept at night. It made little difference. I slept until the light hung high overheard, walking tiredly to no place in particular. I ate berries when I found them and nuts from the ground. In a cold brook, I speared a fish, eating it after making a robust fire. The wolf continued to follow, staying just out of sight, but nearby. If I had meat to spare, I tossed him a piece. Once he boldly came forward to get it.
“You shouldn’t be so shy,” I muttered. “It’s good food.” He ate it with relish, scrambling back into the bushes. “I’m not going to hurt you.” I had a companion now, but he never came any closer than a length or two.
One day drifted into another … the nights sleepless. Whatever enthusiasm I felt for this adventure had long since vanished. I accepted the fact that I had made a mistake. Hopelessly lost, there wasn’t a tree tall enough to help me see where I needed to go. I saw no landmarks. I had chosen this path, stupid that it was. I did not have the slightest clue about what to do next, other than try to survive.
Rousing several days later, I sat on the pelt and stared at the ground, my shoulders drooping. How would I face another day of walking? Why should I bother? Instead of standing, I cried, my sobs resonating. When I hadn’t a tear left to shed, I got to my feet, rolling up the pelt. Grasping the spear, I continued, not resting until I found nuts.
“Where are you, little wolf?” I did not feel his presence, which was odd. I had grown to enjoy being shadowed, wondering where he went. “Maybe you’re hunting. I should hunt. I need meat.”
Continuing until the skies darkened, I again felt eyes upon me, settling before a fire. Satisfied that the wolf was nearby, I attempted to sleep, although it proved impossible. I eventually slept near the dawn, drawing the pelt up around my ears to keep the light at bay. A while later, I perceived the sound of something scurrying around me, an animal sniffing. Lifting the fur, I glimpsed the wolf, who had brazenly approached. Being more brown than grey, two big white patches graced each cheek, while dark grey grew between his eyes. His snout and mouth were black.
He stood close, sniffing, his yellowish, amber eyes glinting inquisitively. Then, he scampered into the forest. Tossing back the pelt, I stared after him. “I’m not dead!” I muttered. He came to see if I lived and breathed, which was odd. “I’m alive!”
Annoyed, I rolled up the pelt and collected my things, starting out again, just as I did every day. I walked listlessly, my shoulders sagging. Not having had meat in a while, I felt the weakness in my limbs and the confusion in my mind. After stopping to drink, finding fresh water trickling down a small waterfall, I walked on. Between the branches of the trees ahead, I spied what looked like an expanse of some golden color.
“Oh,” I murmured, stopping, and then I realized what this meant.
I had come to the edge of the forest, a vast prairie just beyond. Excited by the prospect, I ran towards it, quickly out of breath and gasping for air. Leaning against a tree, I saw nothing but grassland, the forest running along as a border. Tossing my things to the ground, I climbed the nearest tree to have a better look. From nearly the topmost branch, I eyed a valley just beyond the savanna at the base of a mountain.
The grassland held a herd, the animals grazing happily. If I could kill one, I could smoke the meat. I would have enough to live on to cross and reach the valley beyond.
“Why? Why bother, Peta? There’s nothing there.” I sagged against the tree, feeling the weariness in my bones. “I’ve gone as far as I can. There’s nothing here.”
Movement below caught my notice, the wolf having arrived. He knew I sat in the tree, his senses far superior to my own. He waited, until I climbed down, although he did not approach. The area around the tree would make a fine camp, with dried pieces of wood perfect for a fire. While I made the fire, I thoug
ht about what I would do.
“I don’t want to go any further,” I said to myself.
The other part of me argued, “But, you’re nowhere. There’s no one here.”
“There’s no one across the prairie either.”
“What if you just go anyhow?”
“That’s all I’ve been doing. I'm tired. I’ve never been this tired in my life.”
“The valley near the mountain is the end point of this journey.”
“How do you know? Maybe right here is the end point.” I rubbed two sticks together, making sparks, which burned on contact with the kindling.
“Think about it. Hunt, if you must. Then cross to the valley.”
I sighed, not liking this idea in the least. “Have you not listened to a thing I’ve said? I’m tired.”
“But I’ve a feeling something’s there, Peta.”
“Yes, a cat that’ll eat me.”
“You’ll feel better with some meat. Go hunt.”
Satisfied with the fire, I picked up the bow, affixing the leather that held the tiny spears to my back. “I’m going to hunt. I’ll bring back a stag. I’m tired of not eating.”
“I’m glad you still have some fight in you.”
Annoyed with myself, I grumbled, “Oh, shut up.”
Stalking towards the grassland, I slowly approached my prey, the animals busy eating. Hunting in the forest proved impossible when it came to stags. They heard me from a great distance, the creatures attuned to the threat of danger. Here, where the wind howled and the grasses thrashed from side to side, I blended in better, my footfalls silent. Getting close enough, I threaded the small rod, the end sharp with a small spear tip. Pointing it towards one of the smaller animals, I drew back the leather, aiming, and letting it fly. Arching into the air, the weapon came down straight into the neck of my quarry.