His jaw tightened and he looked away before facing her, his stance tense, like he wasn’t sure he wanted to tell her. Then he lifted his chin slightly. “I’m a quarterback in the NFL. I play for the Sacramento Vipers.”
Disbelief flooded her. This lie was worse than the one about being a financial consultant. At least that one had been believable. But a pro football player? Come on. She shook her head as her mouth pulled into a smirk. “No you’re not.”
Josh was dumbstruck. He’d finally told her the truth and she flat-out didn’t believe him. That was the last response he’d expected.
“No, really,” he said, eager for her to believe him now. “It’s true.”
“Uh-huh,” she said with a frown. “Right.”
This was a new experience for him. Typically he had to fight off the groupies who threw themselves at him. But Shay? She was as different as could be. Not only did she disbelieve who he was, but she wasn’t in any hurry to stick around. “I can prove it,” he said.
“You can, huh?” she said, her arms now folded across her chest, her left foot planted forward. “How?”
“Come back with me.”
“No.” The word showed no hint of a willingness to compromise.
“Why not?”
He sure seemed eager to have her come back with him. Why? Was he telling the truth now? Shay’s gaze slid up and down his amazing body. He had the build of a quarterback and his body language didn’t show the shiftiness she’d seen before. But she still had her doubts. What were the odds that the home she’d broken into belonged to some hotshot quarterback, that the man she’d spent the last several days with was well-known by thousands—no, tens of thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands—of sports fans?
It didn’t seem possible, that’s what. She pictured his cabin. It didn’t seem likely that a successful quarterback would have such a humble home. Then again, he had that barn with who-knew-what inside. Maybe it contained stuff to do with being a football player, or maybe he was full of crap and it was full of illegal contraband that she didn’t want to know about.
Anyway, it didn’t matter. Her attraction to him was growing too strong for her to stick around, not to mention that she didn’t have confidence that he wouldn’t kick her out on a whim.
“I don’t care if you are some hotshot football player,” she said, although the idea did make him even sexier than she already thought he was. “How do I know you won’t send me away tomorrow? I mean, just yesterday you threatened to make me leave so I would stop asking questions.”
His eyebrows rose, and she wondered if he thought she hadn’t paid attention to his threat.
“I can’t have that hanging over me,” she added. Not with the worry of Will hanging over her too.
“I shouldn’t have said that,” Josh said. “I would never send you away. Not with that man after you.” His eyes went wide like he’d said more than he’d meant to.
Her arms fell to her sides as her mouth opened in shock. “Wait. What?” How did he know about Will? How could he possibly know? She’d never so much as hinted at what had sent her running.
“You’re in danger, Shay. Don’t deny it.”
“How do you know that?” Her voice had fallen to just above a whisper.
He straightened, looked over his shoulder, then turned back to her. “I read your texts.”
Shay’s eyebrows shot skyward. “You did what?” Going cold with humiliation, she broke their gaze as she stared off to the side. Moments later she forced herself to look at him, her face hot.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“Why would you do that?” A knot had formed in her throat and she wanted to cry. The thing she was most embarrassed about had been laid bare for him to see and she hadn’t had a chance to prepare herself. No one knew how Will had abused her, beat her, torn her down. No one. But now Josh knew. The man she’d really grown to like, who hadn’t known how pathetic she was. Now he knew. How long had he known? How long had he been pretending to respect her when all along he’d known her deepest, darkest secret?
Well, maybe he didn’t know exactly, but if he’d read those texts, then surely he had an idea.
Fresh humiliation swept over her and she turned away again as she tried to gather her emotions.
“I can explain,” he said, his voice soft, drawing her gaze back to him.
Not responding, she waited to hear what he had to say, to learn what he knew.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Josh felt terrible. He knew something about her that she obviously wanted to keep a secret. It was as if he’d betrayed her trust. Still, now that it was out there, he was glad. Now he could explain why he didn’t want her to go, why he would never send her away.
“It was because of what happened at the nursery,” he said.
Shay’s head tilted as her eyebrows pulled together. “At the nursery?”
Nodding, Josh pursed his lips. “I saw you on your phone, and when I asked you about it you acted really suspicious. Like you were hiding something.” He could see the wheels turning in her head. “I wasn’t sure about you, if you knew who I was, if you were, you know, spying on me or something.”
“Spying on you?”
He could see she wasn’t getting it. “Believe or not, some people are a little too interested in my private life.”
“Okay.”
Did she still not believe he was an NFL quarterback? The irony made him want to laugh.
“I had to know,” he said.
“Know what?”
“Who you were texting. What you were saying.” Feeling kind of foolish, he added, “If it was about me.”
“Wow,” she said with a scowl. “Nice ego.”
Ouch. But he couldn’t say he didn’t deserve it.
“That’s why I looked,” he said with a barely concealed frown.
“So,” she said, her emerald-green eyes snapping with displeasure. “You lied about who you are and you didn’t tell me about what you knew about me. What else are you hiding?”
When she put it like that… “I’m not hiding anything, okay?” He was glad that was the truth. As each fib had left his mouth, he’d come to realize how much he hated lying to her, although he didn’t regret keeping his true identity a secret. He’d liked that she’d gotten to know him without the distraction of knowing he was rich and famous.
After a moment something occurred to him. “What about you? Why didn’t you tell me the real reason you were ‘stranded’?” He did air quotes on the word.
He had her there. She’d been guilty of not telling him the truth too. But had she straight-up lied? No. Then again, did it matter? At this point there was no reason to hide the truth. Not now that he’d read the texts from Will.
“Because.” Heart pounding, she clenched her jaw as all the terrible secrets about Will and the way he’d treated her flowed into her mind. She’d never admitted to anyone that he’d been abusive. Deep inside she knew it wasn’t her fault, but on a more conscious level, after each beating, she always questioned if there was something she could have done differently to prevent his anger.
“Because?” Josh asked. “Because what?”
“Because,” she said, softer this time. “Because I’m…” Her face crumpled as tears jumped into her eyes. “Because I’m ashamed, okay?” Her voice shook as she spoke.
Josh looked confused. “Ashamed of what?”
Had she said too much? Had he not figured out why she had run? Maybe he hadn’t, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t explain, that she wasn’t ready to explain. The words came out in a rush along with her tears. “Of staying with him for as long as I did. For not getting out after that first beating. For not telling anyone what was happening. For being stupid enough to fall for him in the first place and to believe I could change him. For…for…” The tears were coming so fast now that she couldn’t speak, and she slammed her hands against her eyes in a failed attempt to make them stop.
That’s when she felt Josh’
s arms go around her as he pulled her into a tight embrace.
Josh was astonished. He’d had no idea Shay was a battered woman, that things were that serious. The texts had been just vague enough for him to know something wasn’t right, that she was hiding from Will and that she might be in danger. But that Will was abusive? The man was clever. He hadn’t given any evidence in the texts, but of course Shay knew what he was capable of.
So why had she left the safety of his cabin?
Josh held her tighter and murmured into her hair. “It’s okay, Shay. It’s not your fault. Everything’s going to be all right. I’m here.”
The thought of someone hurting her, his Shay… He would protect her at all costs.
When his arms had gone around her, her hands had fallen from her eyes and she’d slid her arms around his waist, then pressed her face into his chest, soaking his shirt with her tears.
It was only after standing that way for several moments that his words penetrated her mind, and she knew he meant it, she knew he wanted to help her, that he would be there for her.
An overwhelming feeling of longing—to be loved, to be cared for, to be protected—suffused her, and she sobbed harder. Josh didn’t let go. Instead, one of his hands gently pressed against the back of her head as his fingers glided through her hair.
Eyes still drenched with tears, after several moments Shay pulled away slightly and looked up at him. His gaze was on her, his face serious, and as they stared at each other, a burst of energy filled the space between them, an energy that held an attraction that she couldn’t deny, and after a moment that seemed to last an eternity, he lowered his head toward her, his mouth coming ever closer to hers.
Mesmerized by the look in his eyes, Shay held completely still, her lips parting slightly in expectation. Then it happened. His mouth was on hers and her eyes fluttered closed as her arms moved from his waist to circle his neck, and they clung together, there on the side of the road, the forest at Shay’s back and the future looking brighter than it had in months.
After what seemed like forever, they broke their kiss and Shay took a step back, her eyes on Josh and her mind racing.
That had been amazing. He had taken her completely by surprise, but… Wow. Just wow.
As she gazed into his blue, blue eyes, her attraction to him grew and deepened, nearly overwhelming her.
Though they’d had a rocky beginning—well, she had broken into his house and slept in his bed—he’d shown a kindness to her that she never would have expected. Not from a total stranger. And even though he hadn’t been honest about who he really was, she didn’t completely hold that against him. Even now she wasn’t sure he was telling the truth, but the feelings she had for him were the biggest truth she knew, and at the moment they were also the most important.
Yes, she would need to find out what his real story was, but now, as her gaze was locked on his, her pulse racing, she was torn by indecision. What would happen now? Had he kissed her out of pity after hearing her sad story, or did he feel something for her as she did for him? Had they revealed all of their secrets, or was there more to tell?
Confusion swarmed over her. A week earlier she’d still been with Will, although she had wanted to leave him for months before that. And now she stood on the side of the road with the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen, a man who had taken her in and treated her with more sweetness than Will ever had.
What did Josh expect from her now? What did she expect from herself? What did she want?
This was too much. She needed to clear her head. She needed to go.
Josh couldn’t tear his gaze from Shay’s face. Her tears coupled with her revelation of what she’d been through had done him in, but he’d never meant to kiss her. Only to comfort her. But that kiss. It had felt so good and so right. But he hadn’t meant for it to happen, even if he was attracted to her beyond all reason.
She looked as stunned as he did. Maybe they should forget it ever happened, even though his lips still tingled from the kiss.
“I’m…” he began. “I’m sorry about that. I, uh, I didn’t mean to do that.” Not that he regretted it. Not one bit. But he wasn’t sure how she felt about it.
“That’s…that’s okay.” She looked in the direction she’d been headed. “I should probably get going though.”
She was leaving? Now? After everything they’d said? After she’d revealed the truth of her circumstances? After that amazing kiss? This woman was starting to drive him crazy.
“No,” he said. The word was immediate.
Her eyes narrowed for the briefest of moments. “No? What do you mean no?”
That had been the wrong thing to say. He could see that. “I mean, of course you can go if you want to. But I don’t want you to.” Wait. What was he saying? If she wanted to go, she should go. He had enough on his plate. He didn’t need to take on her problems too, did he?
“You don’t?” she said, her green eyes wide.
“Not yet anyway.” He tried to backpedal, but he couldn’t exactly take back what he’d said. Besides, he really didn’t want her to go. He just wasn’t ready to admit it.
Just as she thought. She couldn’t rely on him to not change his mind. The only person she could count on was herself. Same as it ever was.
Wanting to give him a chance to explain, she stared at him steadily. “What do you mean, ‘not yet’?”
“I mean,” he began, “it’s not safe for you. Out there. With…that man…looking for you.”
Life hadn’t been safe since the moment she’d met Will, but that hadn’t stopped her from leaving after finally having enough of him, and it wouldn’t stop her from leaving now. There was no doubt Will was doing everything he could to find her—the man held a grudge like no other, and she was certain she’d hurt his pride when she’d left. Deeply. But she’d let fear rule her choices for long enough, and she wouldn’t let her fear of him finding her stop her from living her life.
Besides, how was it any better to allow herself to fall for Josh only to have him force her out when he thought Will was no longer a threat? That was no solution either.
“I’ll figure it out,” she said. Then remembering her vow to not let other people sway her decisions, she smiled.
“What?” Josh asked, annoyance on his face.
“I’m no longer swayable, that’s what.”
“Is that even a word?”
Lifting her shoulders in a shrug, she tried not to think about the way it had felt to be held in Josh’s arms, to have his mouth claim hers, to feel so safe and protected, like nothing could ever hurt her. “I said it, so it must be a word.”
One side of his mouth tugged upward. “So what you’re saying is, I need to work harder to change your mind.”
Was that what she wanted? Or would it be better if he just let her go? Not sure what she preferred—okay, that was a lie. She would love it if he begged her to stay, if he promised to protect her from any and all threats. But she was realistic enough to know that that wouldn’t happen.
“Okay,” he said as he tapped a finger against his chin before gazing at her. “How’s this? If you’ll come back with me I’ll show you all of the cool stuff in my barn.”
After all of her curiosity, that was tempting, but it wasn’t enough to risk putting herself in a position to fall for him harder or to have her living arrangements still be uncertain. Not sure what to say, she stayed silent.
“Not enough?” When she didn’t reply, he said, “All right. How about I buy more seedlings to fill your garden plus whatever tools you want.”
Why was he so eager for her to stay? Was it really altruism, or did he have an ulterior motive?
“If you’re really a pro football player,” she said with a barely suppressed grin, “and I’m not convinced that you are, I hope you have an agent to do your negotiating cause you kind of suck at it.”
He threw his head back and laughed, then he looked directly at her with his amazing blue eyes. “Not swayed yet,
huh?”
Actually, she was, but not because of the carrots he’d held out. The more he stood there trying to convince her to stay, the more she wanted to. He was just so darn appealing. Not only physically, although she was attracted to him beyond all reason, but because he was being so sweet. Still, she had to know his reasons.
“You wouldn’t tell me why you came for me that first day,” she said, “and now you want me to come back again. Why, Josh? Tell me the real reason you came for me that first day.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Josh gazed at her, his mind working. What would be the harm in admitting the truth now? He’d already told her his biggest secret so there was no reason to hold back anything else.
“I thought you were a groupie,” he said.
Her eyebrows furrowed. “A what?”
Did she really not know what that meant? “A groupie,” he said. “A woman who follows athletes around, trying to, uh, to get close to them.”
She recoiled slightly, like she was offended that he would think that about her.
“That’s why I sent you away,” he said. “I thought you were one of them.”
She was quiet a moment. “Do these groupies show up at your house often?”
Shaking his head, he laughed. “No. Never. You were the first.” At the look on her face, he held up his hand. “I just thought you were a groupie. It didn’t take long for me to realize you had no idea who I was.”
An image of her walking away from his house wearing those ridiculous flip-flops, blisters on her feet, filled his mind. Thinking about it now, imagining where she would be if he hadn’t gone after her—maybe in Will’s hands, maybe in the hands of those men in the beat-up black truck—he felt a shock of relief, a shock so deep that it took him by surprise.
Relieved beyond measure that he had gone after her, that she was standing in front of him, safe and under his protection, he had the sudden urge to kiss her again.
No. No no no. That was the last thing he should be thinking about.
Illegal Procedure (Fair Catch Series, Book One) Page 13