Blood Rights (Freedom/Hate Series, Book 2)
Page 24
She continued to ask herself why Amanda didn't have any roommates. The room could have fit another bed. It would have been a little cramped, but all the other rooms that Libby had seen were stuffed full of sick people. They obviously needed the space.
Most people probably would have shrugged off the question, and just been happy to have the privacy, but Libby didn't accept things that easily anymore. Even an act of kindness, if that was what this was, made her question everyone's motives. Were they doing this because she was too well known at the moment, and they didn't want her to be hounded by other people while she was sitting with her mother? Or were they trying to keep her as comfortable as possible, in an attempt to keep her in that place?
There was a time when Libby was very trusting. She took things at face value and chose not to see what was happening around her. She never had a choice in whether or not she wanted to give up that way of life, but now that it had been taken from her, there was no going back. She trusted nothing anymore. Everyone had an angle—well, almost everyone.
When the door opened and Justin walked into the room, he was carrying a bag. Libby looked up at him just as the smell of that bag's contents struck her and her mouth began to water. She was speechless. She didn't know what it was, but it was probably the best smell that she had ever experienced in her life.
Justin smiled when he saw the look on her face and said, “Sorry I took so long.”
Libby wanted to answer, but words would not form in her mind. She stood up and walked to where Justin was setting the bag down on a tray.
“This is the good stuff,” he told her, opening the bag. “A guy gave up a kidney for food like this once.”
“What is it?”
“Burgers. Fries. Onion rings.”
“I've had burgers. This doesn't smell like that.”
“This isn't the government-approved burger. This is at least a half pound of 100% real beef, cooked so rare that it might put up a fight when you bite into it.”
Justin handed Libby her burger, which was wrapped in paper. He set out a small box of french fries and a box of onion rings, which were big enough for them to share, and a small container of ketchup.
“Twice fried french fries,” he told her. “Extra crispy.”
“Where did you get this?”
“The basement. It's the best food in the city.”
“Why haven't I heard of it before?”
“It's... expensive.”
Libby looked from her burger to Justin's eyes. She was wondering what he had paid for food like this, and why he would be willing to give so much for one meal. But she was also wondering if it would be rude to ask such questions.
He looked guilty, as though he had sacrificed something important for the sake of this meal, but he said, “It's nothing. Don't worry about it. I know the guy who makes the burgers and he gave me a deal.”
Justin smiled, trying to assure her that everything was good and there was nothing for her to concern herself with, but Libby had been given a lot of deals that day. Her DNA couldn't be that valuable.
“Is it a special occasion?” she asked him. “It's a lot to go through for one meal.”
“It is special,” he assured her. “It's a day for reunions. A day for friendship. A day for hope. That's something that not many people around here had before you showed up, and now I see people smiling.”
“I didn't do anything.”
“Sometimes it doesn't take a lot.”
Justin set his burger on the tray and walked around Amanda's bed, to where two metal stools were sitting against the wall. He brought them back to the tray and gestured for Libby to take a seat.
Then he poured two cups of water and handed one to Libby. The whole time, he had a smile on his face. Not a wide, ear to ear sort of smile, but a half smile. He probably didn't even know that he was smiling. He was genuinely happy in that moment, and that was the part that made Libby stop questioning what he was doing for her, and just accept it.
She sat down and opened the paper that was covering the burger. The smell grew even stronger. Her entire mouth started to tingle when she saw the thick patty between two halves of a freshly baked roll, with all the fixings that she could imagine and more. Even on the most important holidays, she'd never seen food so incredible.
When she bit into the burger, it was like taking her first breath of real air. She never knew what she was missing until that moment, and anything she ate after this would pale by comparison. It was so juicy and flavorful that she nearly dropped the rest of the burger on the ground after taking that first bite.
Luckily, she caught herself and put the burger down on the tray. Juice from the burger was dripping down her chin and she wiped it away. She felt like a sloppy mess, but she didn't care. This was the best moment of her life.
And Justin was watching her experience it as though he could feel everything that she was feeling. That half smile grew into a goofy grin and he raised his eyebrows as he said, “Right?”
Libby put a hand over her mouth, worried that she would spit food all over him when she said, “I would definitely give up a kidney for this.”
She had to fight the urge to devour the entire meal in under a minute. She forced herself to take one bite at a time and set the burger down, so that she could properly savor each second of that meal.
Justin did pretty much the same, breaking off pieces of his burger and eating them bit by bit. He didn't spend the entire meal staring at her, which she appreciated because she couldn't have looked good in that moment. Instead, he kept his eyes on his food.
“You know, if more people in the city knew that Freedom had food like this, they might be willing to join the cause.”
“I agree. But I'm not going to be the one to tell them. Can you imaging how much higher the prices would be if everyone in the city knew?”
Libby took her first french fry and dipped it into the ketchup before she bit into it. The only other fries she'd ever tasted were the fries that were served in the school cafeteria. They were pre-made and frozen long before reaching the school. They probably had preservatives added, along with something that made them taste like wet paper. They were soggy and disgusting, so she wasn't a big fan. But these fries were different.
Libby started laughing as she ate that fry. There was nothing particularly funny about the fry itself, but she was amazed by how different it tasted. How fresh. As she ate it, she could only have either laughed or cried, so she chose to laugh.
Still looking down at his food, Justin started to laugh along with her... or possibly at her. She wasn't entirely sure.
When she was done with the fry, Libby took a deep breath, looked over at the onion rings and then said, “Thank you.”
Justin looked up at her now, no longer laughing.
She said, “I'm serious. Thank you. For everything. You changed my life.”
He looked back to his food and then at her once again. It seemed like he wasn't sure what he was supposed to say in response to that. Finally, he told her, “It's what friends do.”
She smiled. Somehow the word 'friend' hardly seemed sufficient anymore. Justin was her lifeline. What word could possibly be used to encompass everything that he had done for her and how grateful she was?
Rather than spend the night trying to think of a word, Libby told him, “I met a man today. A gardener... Daniel. Do you know him?”
Justin thought for a moment before shaking his head.
Libby explained, “He knew Uly. And he was telling me how Uly would go down to the gardens and find flowers to bring to Marti.”
“I saw her with flowers every now and then. I guess he brought them to her.”
“It made me think about how little I actually knew him. I never knew the Uly that people here knew. I don't know how he acted around this place, or who he was friends with. All I knew was the act that he put on at home,” she said, not in an angry tone, but a remorseful one. “I would have liked to have known him.”
Justin took an onion ring and pulled it apart. Libby had never noticed how he ate before, picking things apart and eating them in little bits. She'd never paid attention before.
“You knew him,” Justin told her. “You knew a side of him that people here didn't know.”
“What side was that?”
“He was different around you. He was protective. And he was proud.”
“Proud?”
“Even when you pissed him off, he thought you were one of the strongest people he knew. He was just waiting for you to realize it.”
“I'm not strong.”
“You're strong. Believe me.”
“I'm not. I think I might be the most helpless person in this place. I can't do anything for Amanda. I can't do anything to get this library that everyone wants. I'm pretty useless.”
“Except for inspiring a revolution. Y'know, small stuff like that.”
“I didn't inspire anything. Collin Powers did. I just provided the ammunition,” Libby said, and for a moment her mind drifted back to Powers, wondering what he would make of all this. He deserved to see it so much more than she did.
“Wars aren't won without ammunition,” Justin replied.
Libby didn't have a response for that. She just took another bite of her burger and closed her eyes as she chewed, savoring every taste and texture. She didn't even realize that she had closed her eyes until she swallowed and opened them again.
She looked over at Justin, who was staring at Amanda as though he had just remembered that she was in the room.
“When did you join Freedom?” she asked him.
He took a bite of food and said, “Two years ago, give or take. Uly joined before I did.”
“Why did you join?”
Justin shrugged and thought for a moment. He then said, “How could I not?”
The answer wasn't enough for Libby and he knew that. She could see him searching for some way to explain the experience to her. After he swallowed his bite, he said, “Have you ever felt like you forgot something? Y'know, turning off the coffee pot or locking your front door? Something like that?”
Libby nodded.
“It was kinda like that. Only I felt it every day. I didn't know why. I kept checking my pockets and wracking my brain, trying to figure out what I'd forgotten, and I couldn't figure it out. It was like there was a massive piece of the puzzle missing. A piece of myself missing. I was driving myself crazy over it.”
“What was missing?”
“Reality, I guess. People would say something in school and it wouldn't make sense to me. The teachers would tell me that things worked a certain way, and I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I didn't see how it could possibly work the way they said it did. It was wrong. There was no logic to it. And I thought I was just stupid for a really long time, but eventually I realized that I wasn't stupid. They were lying to me.”
Libby looked away from him, remembering her reaction to hearing the truth for the first time. She rejected it. She fought with both Uly and Justin because she didn't want to hear it. It was the opposite of what Justin had gone through. She was stupid.
“I didn't say anything,” Justin continued. “I knew better than that. Everyone does, right? You ask the wrong question and you fail the class. You fail enough classes and you're shipped off to a 'special needs' facility. And I didn't even tell Uly about what I was thinking, because I didn't trust him. I didn't trust anyone. How could I?”
Libby broke off a piece of her burger and held it in her hand for a moment. Listening to Justin made her realize the full meaning of that burger. The entire meal was a symbol of liberation. Each bite, an act of rebellion.
Justin continued with his story, “Uly realized that I wasn't acting right. So, he started asking questions, just testing me here and there. Then, eventually, he asked me the important question. 'Do you believe what they're telling you?'”
Justin took a deep breath and shrugged just slightly. That was that. He was a member of Freedom.
Libby put that piece of burger into her mouth and chewed it, thinking about Justin's story. It was far more noble than her own. He didn't have to be dragged into the cause kicking and screaming.
“What about you?” he asked her.
She had no idea what he meant by that. He was there when she found out the truth. He was the one who told her.
“When was the first time you knew something wasn't right?” he pushed. “I've known you a long time. You knew.”
Libby opened her mouth, wanting to respond to his question. She thought back to her childhood. She thought about every teacher she'd had. Every lesson they'd taught her. But finally, she said, “My father. I knew it when they reassigned him. When they took him away from us. I knew it wasn't right.”
“Weren't you, like, three years old when he left?”
“Two. I mean, I don't remember when I started to know exactly. I just know that that's what did it, and I don't remember ever not feeling it,” she replied, and her eyes filled with tears as she heard those words leave her mouth.
She had known that things were wrong for as long as she could form thoughts, and yet she never did a thing about it until someone forced her hand.
Justin didn't respond to her, but his body language didn't suggest that he thought she was a moron. It suggested that he felt sorry for her. It was almost funny. She revealed what an idiot she had been her entire life, and confirmed the thing that made him stop loving her years ago, and he still felt sorry for her. God forbid he should get angry or call her a fool. No, he had to be... Justin.
The next few minutes were spent in silence. What was there to say? Libby had pretty much killed their entire conversation with the admission that she knew the truth all along, but refused to accept it or act on it because it was so much easier to keep her mouth shut and do what she was told.
She thought that she had ruined their meal, and she felt bad about it. Justin had gone out of his way to give her something that she never even knew was missing from her life—again—and she threw a wrench into the whole night.
Then he smiled. He didn't say anything to her. He just went about eating his food, but he had a big smile on his face, as though he found something amusing.
Libby stared at him for a second or two as a smile formed on her lips as well. Finally she asked, “What?”
He shook his head and waved her off, trying to get her to drop the issue.
“No way. Tell me what you're smiling about,” she insisted.
Justin swallowed his food and bobbed his head back and forth, relenting. He held up a finger, his smile growing wider and Libby's anticipation growing. She really wanted to know what he was thinking about right then.
But he never told her. Just as Justin was about to speak, the steady beep...beep...beep of Amanda's heart monitor—which she had been listening to for so long that she no longer consciously heard it—suddenly ended. It was replaced by one long, steady tone that caused both Libby and Justin to jump up and rush to Amanda's side.
At first, Libby thought the worst. She thought that Amanda would die and that would be that. That second was filled with regrets and questions. She didn't know what was supposed to happen next. She didn't know who to call. She didn't know what would happen to the body.
But as she got closer to Amanda, Libby realized that her mother wasn't dead. Though her eyes were still closed, Amanda's hands were moving. She had tugged at the wires around her, pulling the heart monitor loose.
Adrenaline surged through Libby's body as she realized that Amanda was waking up.
40
Amanda's hand moved across her chest, toward the tube that was running oxygen to her nose. Libby took that hand in her own and held onto it, partly to keep her mother from pulling anything else loose, and partly because she wanted Amanda to know that she wasn't alone.
Libby didn't even know how long Amanda had been unconscious. How long had she been in that group home? Whether it had been a day or a week, Amanda was about t
o wake up into a new world. Not only was she being cared for by Freedom, but everything in the city was changing. There was so much to tell her. So much to try to make her understand.
“I'll get a nurse,” Justin told Libby as he turned and hurried out of the room.
Amanda started moving her lips as though she were trying to talk, but her mouth was dry. Her tongue was searching for water. Libby grabbed a plastic cup off of the table next to Amanda's bed and held it to her lips. She offered only a little bit at first, and a little more after Amanda had swallowed.
Once Amanda had her water, she tried to open her eyes. At first, the light was too bright for her. Each time Amanda opened her eyes a little bit, they closed again.
“Amanda?” Libby said, in a calm and even tone. She didn't want to scare her mother by sounding too excited. “Can you hear me?”
Amanda forced her eyes open, still squinting against the light in the room. Libby would have turned off some of the lights, but most of them were off already. The room wasn't that bright.
“Libby?” Amanda asked, squeezing Libby's hand as she said it.
Libby smiled. Her mother was awake and aware. She sounded weak, but that was to be expected. Libby was excited just to hear her mother's voice. For the first time since Amanda was brought in, Libby felt like she was in Amanda's presence.
It was a strange thing to acknowledge that feeling. While Amanda was unconscious, Libby knew that it was Amanda. She cared for her mother. She worried about her. But at the same time, Amanda hadn't felt like Amanda. Instead, Libby felt as though she were in the presence of a question mark. She didn't know what to expect, even if Amanda woke up. In many ways, it felt the same waiting for Simon to return to the Garden. Alive or dead? Suffering? Brain damaged? Would Amanda even recognize Libby? Now she had her answer.
“I'm here,” Libby told her. “You're okay now. You're safe.”