by Shay Hunter
I laughed because I wasn’t gonna give her a thing I didn’t want to. We were cool but we weren’t the best of friends either. “I doubt she fucking with him but if you say so.”
“I meant to ask you before so let me do it now.” She leaned against the locker. “Why didn’t you go to the cops when she stabbed you?”
I stood up and put on my pink rhinestone bra. “Because I’m not a snitch. Sprinkles gonna see me again when the time is right so I’m not worried about calling the lawman.”
“So you would let that bitch stay out of jail after what she did to you? She put a dent in your money when you were out those days.” She paused. “Because I got a stack that says she wouldn’t have done the same for you.”
“You act like I’m the police.” I walked up to the mirror and teased my new weave. “Even if I report her it doesn’t mean she’s going to go to jail.” I dug into my bag and combed my hair. “It’s not that deep like I said…I’ll deal with her later. And on my time.”
“Damn, you so easy going. Must be a really good friend and Sprinkles is lucky to have you.” She stood next to me and eased on some blush. “So what was ya’ll fighting for?”
I laughed harder and put my comb down. “Jodie, you not going to get any info from me about—”
“Hold fast, bitch!” She screamed. “Because I’m not Sprinkles. You come at me like that and you gonna have a fucking problem. Please believe.”
I stepped to her and clenched both of my fists. “If you gonna do something do it, Jodie. I’m begging you.” I clapped my hands together and moved my head from side to side. “Please give me a reason to show you I’m not the—”
When I heard my phone vibrating in my purse I pulled it out to see who was calling. While I was looking at it Jodie ran out of the dressing room. I guess she realized that I was about to snatch that wig off her head if she didn’t stay out my business.
When I thumbed through the messages I saw it was from Killer. His text message read:
Y U not pickin up. Where the fuck r u
I placed my phone down and my stomach twirled. He threatened me so many times about keeping our relationship a secret that I got the impression he was going to kill me when he got a hold of me. His nickname was Killer for a reason. My plan was to work here for a few more days while he was out of town and then find another club to dance at.
The only thing is I don’t want to leave.
I was just about to work the floor when Ohio walked up to me. “Bitch, don’t come too close.” I warned. “I’m still not through with you and the way I feel right now somebody would die.”
She laughed. “Why you show up here after that beating Sprinkles put on you? If I was you I’d never be able to show my face. It ain’t like Killer’s pockets not big enough to take care of both his whores.”
I laughed. “You really upset about me fucking Killer ain’t you?” I put one hand on my hip. “Tell the truth, you wanna fuck him again don’t you? You miss that dick.”
“You have no idea what you’re in for with Killer. I mean you got a taste of it but you have no idea.”
“Mind your business, Ohio.” I laughed. “Speaking of niggas are you still throwing pussy at Stephen? ‘Cause what I hear is he’s not catching it.”
She laughed. “You got me, I do like Stephen. But at least he didn’t fuck me without so much as a movie or a dinner. He makes it clear that you’re the side chick and Sprinkles is his main bitch. Have you seen Sprinkles’ costume closet? Because everything she wears costs over five hundred dollars.”
“I ain’t got to see her closet.” I rolled my eyes and dug through my bag not really looking for anything. “What she wears, eats or shits doesn’t move me.”
“Oh…you’re right.” She smiled. “All you gotta do is look at her car. She got everything over you, Cupid. The body, face, clothes and the man!” She shook her head. “And you have the nerve to be talking about me. Bitch, relax yourself. You hard for no reason.”
“Get off her shit, Ohio,” I said as I pushed past her headed toward my locker. “Because I already know she’s not into you.”
“I’m not on her shit.” She shrugged. “Just stating facts.”
“Yeah okay.” I tossed my makeup back in my locker and put the strap of my purse over my arm. “From over here you sound like you’re five seconds from eating her—”
My phone rang and I looked down at it. It was Killer again and I could feel my heart rate increasing rapidly. I knew he wasn’t here but it didn’t stop me from worrying. When the phone rang again I started to answer and get it over with. But the last thing I needed was being in a bad mood before I danced.
“Who blowing you up?” Ohio asked fingering her hair like we were friends. “One of your tricks? Because God knows it’s not a man.” She laughed like she was taken. The bitch was single too.
I grinned and showed her the screen of my phone. I know I didn’t have to prove anything to her but I wanted to shut her down. “See, this proves how much you know about me and Killer.” I paused. “The nigga is checking for me, not the other way around. Get your stories straight if you gonna report the news.”
She shook her head. “You’re in for a world of pain when it comes to that dude. Have you even tried to do your research on him before you fucked him? He done had his way with every chick in here. You not special, Cupid. But you’re about to find out.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
SPRINKLES
I knocked on my mother’s door five times before she finally yelled, “Who the fuck is it?” It was annoying when she screamed across the apartment instead of being at the door and asking who was on the other side like a civilized person.
She had zero class and I knew she was drunk.
“It’s me, mama.” I sighed and dug through my purse for a miniature vodka bottle. Ever since I learned that my best friend and man been fucking my mind been wrecked. “Open the door, I gotta talk to you.” I drunk it all and tossed the empty bottle in my purse.
I could hear her bumbling around a little before she finally opened the door. She looked run down and it made me feel sad for her. My mother was the Queen of Drunks and did everything she could to fuck up her life. Pretty from the day she was born, even in her fifties, she would meet men, fall in love and leave them before they left her. When she was lonely she would fall into a deeper depression even though most of the men wanted to still be with her because they really cared.
My mother is the life of the party if she’s sober. She cooks, caters and loves hard but I don’t think she feels she should be happy with someone who she deserves. I think misery was her real boyfriend and I didn’t want to be like her, which is why I was willing to do all I could to fight for Killer.
She opened her arms. “Catalina.” She kissed me on both sides of my face. “Come…come…I can make you some—”
“Mama, I’m not hungry.” I closed and locked the door behind me. “I’m just here because—”
“You’re having problems with Jameson aren’t you?” She grabbed me by the hand and walked me over to her plush lavender couch. “Come talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”
“How did you know?” She was so on point that I wondered if someone told her about what was happening in my life before I had the chance. “Lisa been putting you onto my business again?”
“Fuck, Lisa! She owes me fifty bucks and I haven’t seen her in months. Your eyes tell me everything I need to know.” She touched my face with the palm of her hand. “They never lie.”
I wanted to cry. “He can’t be faithful, mama. He can’t love just me and I don’t understand what needs to happen to change our relationship for the best. I do everything I can to show him how I feel but he never cares.”
“Oh, Catalina,” she sighed. “After all of these years you still don’t understand that men are like dolls. You pick the one you like the most, play with it a little while and then throw it away. But you never, ever, expect a doll to be anything other than what it
is…a toy.”
“I can’t take it anymore, mama. I can’t be the person who turns the other cheek and pretends that things are okay.”
“I understand that very well. I do. Just prepare yourself for my life because it’s in your DNA. Every child born to a mother, whether she wants to believe it or not, takes part of the mother into her personality. Unfortunately for you I ruined every relationship I’ve ever had. I destroy bonds with people I care about and you will too. Are you ready for that?”
“That’s not fair…”
“I know, Catalina…I know. But it doesn’t change the fact that it’s the truth now does it?” She sighed. “Being a woman is a lot of work but these are the breaks we have. There is nothing else so you should get use to it.”
I was just about to answer when her bedroom door flung open. A skinny man with black greasy hair and a hairy chest hung in the doorway. He was holding a beer and he was the worst I’d ever seen my mother with.
“When are you coming back to bed?” He asked holding himself in the crotch with spit hanging from the side of his mouth. I stood up preparing to leave when he stopped me in my tracks. How did he move so fast? “You don’t even…say hello?”
“Edward, leave her alone. She’s my daughter.” She pleaded. “Go back in the room. I’ll be there in a second.”
“I’m not going no where and I don’t care who she is, woman.” He paused. “You don’t come by a person’s house without speaking.”
I had my own problems. The last thing I needed was this mess in my face. “Mama, I’m gone. I can’t really deal with all this right now. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Are you sure, Catalina?”
I looked at the man and said, “Positive. Have fun.”
As I walked out I could hear them yelling and made a decision to deal with my relationship in my own way. I had to go home and feel Killer out. I needed to know if Cupid was telling the truth.
****
Killer was holding me in the bed after we’d just finished making love. I could tell he was up and I wondered what was on his mind. I rolled over and looked into his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing…just thinking about my brother.” He closed his eyes and at first I thought he was about to go to sleep. “He really having a hard time this time around. I think he got use to being home and going back to prison wasn’t an option.”
“Do you love me? After all of these years? And after everything I’ve put you through?”
He laughed. “Why you asking me something like that right now? When I’m talking about my brother?”
“I just want to know, Jameson.”
“Oh…now I’m Jameson.” He laughed. “Even though I begged you not to use my government name. You always call me Killer. Keep things the same.”
“I know…but I want to say your name because I’m hoping you’d give me a genuine answer. Do you love me? After everything I’ve put you through and after so much time had passed.”
“Catalina, there is no one else I want to be with in my life. You are it for me…so when you ask me do I love you I have to say of course. I can love no other.”
Very romantic and fake.
“Is there anybody else in your life that you would like to be with? Anybody that you have a crush on?” I positioned myself so that I could check his mannerisms.
“What are we, five years old?” He turned on his back and rubbed his large stomach. “I must’ve hit you with that long dick because you talking crazy now. Asking questions you already know the answer to.”
“If the answers are so simple you shouldn’t have a problem.”
He sighed. “Catalina, you are the most beautiful woman I know. When I look around I can’t remember one woman I’ve seen in my life who is more beautiful. So when you ask me a question like that I have to refer you to the mirror because the answer is there. Waiting for you.”
He’s really being gross now. He doesn’t even kick it to me like that so I know he’s doing something behind my back.
“What about at Skeezers? Any crushes there?”
He laughed. “Yeah right. What I look liked dealing with any of them sluts at the club? Huh?”
“I dance there too you know?”
“My point exactly,” he laughed.
“I’m serious.” I frowned.
“Go to sleep…you talking dumb and tonight I’m not in the mood. Any other night and I probably wouldn’t care.”
This nigga loves threatening me if I didn’t act like he wanted. But this time I had no intentions of backing off. “What about, Cupid? You have a crush on her?”
He rolled over and looked at me. “Why ask me some shit like that? What I look like even trying to see Cupid in that way? She’s your friend! Back off, man.”
“Answer the question.”
“You already know black girls aren’t my type. Cupid is alright for some niggas but I like white chicks.” He paused. “But it doesn’t matter if she was my type because I’m taken.”
I frowned. “I’m Latina. So what that says about me?”
He sighed. “Same thing.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, okay.”
“Even if you weren’t there is nothing, nothing that Cupid could do for me. I don’t look at her in that way. Trust me when I tell you, that you have nothing to worry about. Luckily for you, you got a real nigga for life.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CUPID
I had been avoiding Sprinkles all day because the last thing I needed was a confrontation while trying to stack my paper. I figured she was going to do her thing and I was going to do mine for as long as I was at Skeezers. I was already sick to my stomach counting the days before Killer would approach me about why I told her about our affair. When he showed up for work.
His phone calls were every day but I had yet to answer one. I knew it was over between us and the only thing I wanted was to stack enough money to get out of town.
Even though I missed him.
I was texting on my phone and just about to work the floor before my set when Sprinkles approached. “Cupid, you don’t have to run from me.” She stood in front of me and blocked my path. I noticed she had a new door to replace the one kicked down to save me. “To tell you the truth I could care less about you fucking Killer. So you can relax.”
My eyes widened. “What do you mean you could care less?”
A few dancers walked around us as we stood in the hallway. Ever since she stabbed me we were the talk of the club so I know they were waiting for round two. I wanted to fight her again also but I would have to be smart and while I was trying to stack money now was not the time to fight.
“He’s a nigga’, Cupid. And he does nigga shit and I’m cool with that.” She paused. “But look, come into my dressing room. I don’t want to talk out in the open. Too many nosey bitches.”
I frowned. “How I know I can trust you? The last time I came into your room you tried to kill me.”
“Because if I wanted you stabbed again I would’ve done it already.” She walked into her dressing room. “Come on, Cupid.”
I followed her, closing the door behind me but I kept a close eye on her at all times. “Judging by our convo the other day I guess you love him? So be real.”
“No…it’s not that deep.”
She laughed. “Was it even true when you said you fucks with plenty of niggas on the side? Or was that just a way to throw me off? Might as well put everything on the block.”
I was salty that she tried to carry me as if I was a whore but I wouldn’t let her know she had my feeling shook. Despite what she believes Killer was the one contacting me the most. There wasn’t another man in my life. I don’t know what he told her but if it wasn’t the truth he’s a fucking liar.
“I had some friends, Sprinkles. Nothing serious though.”
She laughed again, grabbed her brush and tamed her hair. “I don’t even know why I’m having this conversation with you. I guess part of me sees you as a f
riend to this day despite how you treated me.” She paused. “If it’s not gonna be you It’ll be some other chick so for real I’m not tripping.”
“Well if you’re not tripping what’s all this?” I raised my arms. “With you inviting me to your dressing room and shit? And why do I have a stab wound in my leg if you don’t care? I don’t know if you understand the meaning of tripping but this is definitely not it. Now lets get to why I’m really here because I know there’s a reason.”
“Damn, Cupid, we can’t have girl talk no more? We letting a nigga come between this?”
“Too much has changed. So what do you want?”
She looked me up and down. “You know what…he must’ve had a weak moment to fuck you because you’re not even his type. Not your body. Not your face and definitely not your race. Don’t get me confused because you a pretty girl but…well…”
“Is that what you think?” I exhaled. “That my race is a problem? Because I could never tell with him.” Now I was the one laughing. “Some times I had to beat him off this pussy. You have to take what niggas say with a grain of salt, Sprinkles. They lie, baby girl.”
She lowered her brows. “You think you have one over me but I know something that you don’t know…Killer will never, ever, have a baby by a black girl. Your womb is not worthy enough to tote his kids and you need to know it.”
“Sprinkles, please. I’m not even thinking about babies but if I was I’m sure he would love to have one with me. Besides, ain’t nobody thinking about him no more anyway. I’ve moved on to bigger money niggas.”
“Oh really?” She grinned and crossed her arms over her chest. “That’s good for you because a dude like Killer can only give you heartache. Stick with men of your caliber. That way you won’t get your feelings hurt. Take it from me, Cupid. We use to be really good friends and if—”