Rent Boy

by James Anthony Ford

  It did not take long before the credit card bills started to roll in. It’s funny how the banks never seem to miss on getting a bill out to you yet that handwritten letter from a friend you were expecting never shows up. Isn’t that funny Australia Post! Anyway, I don’t know how I managed it but the bills were always paid on time. I think back about how I managed my own finances but I was quite astute with money. It’s because I loved money. But the problem is that I saw credit cards as easy money. I never thought about the interest rate or the repayment structure. I just paid them and kept on using them and then I was set in a deadly trap. I accepted credit limit increases. One card was even increased to 25 thousand dollars. I am still paying it off to this very day. So you could say, right now I am suffering the consequences of my greedy lifestyle. But at that time, I never thought I had money issues. I actually felt wealthy with all the available credit I could use on my credit cards. I think I was in a trance and was so focussed on living a glam lifestyle and getting what I want. But I did. I almost always got what I wanted. But I knew I wanted more money, not plastic, but cash. There had to be some way I could get cold hard cash, you know, the actual papery kind of stuff? My problems was that my wallet was all plastic and no dollars. So I thought long and hard. I remember there were times when people said I could be a model. But seriously, me? No way, I could not see myself doing that. I just did not have the confidence and I really did not think I was good looking enough. I had the body but not the looks. Then I went straight to the classified section in the local gay newspaper and saw exactly what I was thinking. There was an ad looking for guys to work in a gay boy bar as a topless bartender. It was perfect, and it looked legitimate. It did not look seedy. It actually felt kinda cool. I did not care about what other people thought about the idea of this whether it be degrading or what. In fact, I wanted people to think I was degrading myself. I just did not care and I wanted the cash, big time!

  So I rang the advertisement and got some rude old guy asking me what I look like and the usual other superficial crap, not really asking me about my bartending experience. But he asked me to come down for an interview and he wanted me to go there and then. So I did, it was literally just down the street from where I was living. When I got to the pub, it just looked like your average Aussie pub. The owner who was the guy on the phone seemed a lot friendlier in person. The first thing he asked me to do was to take my top off, obviously. He liked what he saw and just said “You’re hired”.

  So a week later I start work at a boy bar in the inner city suburb of Fitzroy. I was a bit nervous and so was the owner as it was a new bar and the night I started also happened to be opening night.

  When I arrived for work at the bar I was actually the first to arrive, but for some reason I thought I was the only bartender for a while. Then a few other guys showed up, all late mind you. All of them, the guys, hot as. I was so not right for this job I thought. They got a bit into trouble with the owner for being late. Then soon after the other guys joined me behind the bar. The bar was not open yet but I could see a crowd of guys, all ages, all types, waiting outside to come in. Now I was really getting nervous. But I think I was just intimidated by the other guys. I said ‘G’day’ to them and they ignored me. They gave me some strange look with an attitude and brushed past me. Perhaps they were intimidated by me? I don’t know. But there was one guy, his name was Alex. This guy looked like a masculine Aussie model. He not only was one of the hottest guys I had ever seen, a body to match, but friendly as. He was really chatty and down to earth. I had that vision again of the perfect Aussie male and all he needed was a sausage roll in his hand, then that would be it, Mr perfect Aussie male. He only spoke to me, not the others. The other guys were pretentious little faggots with an attitude problem, big time. But Alex just made my heart melt. We got chatting about, well, I can’t even remember what it was about, but we didn’t even notice the doors open. The crowd poured in and Alex and I were just chatting away. I just kept thinking whilst he was chatting away, ‘Why can’t all guys be like you?’, ‘Why are so many gay guys so pretentious and have an attitude?’ and ‘Why are you so perfect?’ He was too hot, inside and out. Way too hot for me, although he fit the criteria for my ideal Mr Right and I was attracted to him. I think he was too. His confidence glowed without any sign of big-headedness and yet, he was attracted to me. I can’t believe it. But I knew I had to stop putting myself down, maybe some things were meant to be. Maybe I am worth it. We will see.

  The crowd came straight to the bar, took a long look at you up and down, focussing on your chest and asked, not me, but my chest for a drink. All the patrons did the same. Now I felt cheap. They did not even look at me, they just looked at my body, not even my face. The bar got so busy as soon as the doors opened that Alex and I did not even get a chance to talk. He did occasionally gave me a cute little wink at the other end of the bar. He made me sweat bullets. I kept thinking that he was too hot to be interested in me. So I tried to erase the thought out of my head. It would not even be any use to try and come on to him.

  As the night rolled on and as the patrons were getting much more drunk. The patrons also got a bit more frisky asking if they could lick my nipple, even suck my dick. Alex seemed like he has done this sort of job before. When he went to the other side of the bar to collect glasses he even sat on some guy’s laps upon request. I even saw one guy hand Alex a 50 dollar note and stuck his hand down his pants for a few seconds. Alex did this so confidently. I asked him about this and he just replied “Well, the things we do for money, eh?” I just laughed and got it. This was just a money earner for him. I’m not sure if he enjoyed it but you could never tell he didn’t. He was always smiling and talking sexy to the patrons. I tried to copy what Alex was doing. He knew the score.

  Hours go by and the owner came around to each of the bar guys individually. I wondered what he was saying to them. Then he came around to me. “Now Jay, if you get any of the clients giving you a price, you come and ask me first, you got it?” he demanded and then walked off before I got a chance to question it. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? He was expecting us guys to prostitute ourselves. This WAS NOT in the job description. Then to my shock, literally after the owner spoke with me, an old fat guy whispered in my ear. “I want to lick your arse out and I want you to cover me with your cum”. I froze. Then he whispered in my ear again “I’m a rich man, you can have anything you want”. I didn’t know how to react whether I should be disgusted or flattered but I knew I did not want to lose this job. So I replied “Okay, but I will check with my manager first”. He then just gave me a sexy smile and said “I’ll be back in 10 minutes”. Oh my god, I really did not want to do this even though I could earn a lot of cash here. So I dwelled on it for a few minutes and kept serving drinks trying to keep a smile on my face at the same time.

  After serving a few drinks to the patrons and getting the touch of the nipples from them, Alex asked me to help him out the back for a sec. This my chance to confirm with him if this prostitute thing was normal and what do I do? So I just followed him into the back area. I was so anxious that I just had to ask him “Some guy wanted to p-p-pay me for umm...sex...what do I do?“ He just laughed and said “What? Did you think the job was as easy as that?...don’t worry about it, you’ll get heaps of money, fuck it!, just do it, I am, I already got six offers!” I was shocked and didn’t say anything. Then he spoke again,”I need you to re oil my body, then I’ll do the same to you” he said confidently. The thought of oiling each other’s bodies immediately erased my anxiety about the ‘paid sex’ thing and felt immediately relaxed. So Alex got out a bottle of baby oil from his bag, handed it to me and I started oiling up his back then spreading it to his chest. It was so arousing for me that I thought I had to sit down as my crotch became rock hard I thought it was going to crack. Then I noticed he too was getting an erection and then he asked me to rub harder. Our breathing got heavier and he very slowly grasped the top of my hand and slid it down to t
he top of his tight denim jeans until I could feel the top of his pubic hair. Ironically as I was just starting to think that we should be out behind the bar working the owner burst in. “What the hell you guys think you’re up to?” he screamed. I jumped but Alex stood there with a smug smirk on his face and told him to “fuck off you fuckin’ old bastard!” I didn’t know what to say or do so I just stood there then the owner said “What me?...fuck off....no you can fuck off....now...you’re sacked!”. This didn’t seem fair to me. I begged the owner not to sack him as we are both responsible. The owner really didn’t show any empathy and said “You know what? You’re right James, you can both fuck off...you’re both sacked!” Then that was it. Alex just grabbed his bag and disappeared into the night. By the time I got my bag and tried to follow him he was gone. A real man, gone. It was no use to chase after him, why bother? And I don’t think I will ever see him again anyway. Another opportunity gone due to my lack of self-confidence. I give up.

  The next I awoke and realized that I had actually been sacked from a job. I had never been sacked from any job, I always been an asset for any business I have worked for. I felt like I had unfinished business after working in an establishment like the boy bar. I felt like I had not accomplished what I set out to do. But I kept on working at the cafe and just plodded on with life. I think I became part of the furniture at the same old cafe. Working there was second nature.

  The next few months were the same as usual. Study some, work some, party lots. There was not that to look forward to anymore until there was a break in the cold Melbourne nights. It was ‘Winterdaze’. This was Melbourne’s mid-winter gay dance party and was always a hit. So I made a few calls to friends and all seemed to be going. Kim said she would take myself and Stav in her car. So in the lead up to the party it was the same procedure as usual. Kim and I would go shopping for a new outfit, mainly her outfit as mine was usually a pair of glam tight shorts and boots. Then we would organise our recreational drugs well in advance. Then the other usual preparations like getting super healthy before the event by taking lots of vitamins, drinking lots of fresh juice and gym workouts.

  Strangely enough on the night of the party I was not as excited as I usually was. I began thinking how much we have, or I have, been doing this thing to death and thought I might be getting over it. But I put on a brave face for everyone and showed no sorrow and we rocked up to the party with enthusiasm. It was freezing cold Melbourne night so the walk from the car park to the warehouse was shivering for me as, as per usual, had no top on. But I made it and as soon as we stepped into the warm warehouse all our thoughts, our problems and our fears disappeared.

  As the night went on we naturally all got separated on the huge dance floor and we all just danced while waiting for the ‘e’s to kick in, which did not take long. Then someone caught the corner of my eye like a magnet. I noticed he had been staring at me for quite some time but was trying to ignore it as I was starting to peak on my ‘e’. Ecstasy tends to make you a lot more energizing relaxed yet a bit unsocial. I couldn’t help but had to take a good look at this guy who was moving closer and closer towards me as we were dancing. And I was glad I did. He was gorgeous. With the body to match, built like a roman god. His muscles were so defined and so very hard. I didn’t care how he worked to get his body like that I just wanted to touch him. Soon we were dancing body to body, rubbing our crotches together and kissing each other tenderly. He was so masculine and tough yet he had such a tender soft personality. It was refreshing to come across a man like that. He reminded me of someone but I could not work out who.

  The mystery man I was dancing with and I decided to wander outside in the cold winter air, which was the chill out area, well, literally chill out! He introduced himself as Andrew. Yes it is ironic. Amazingly we just chatted for about an hour about anything and everything. I don’t know if it was the drugs but we just clicked like we had the exactly same mind. I have never felt such a connection to someone and the fact that he was hot as, was such a bonus. I kept thinking, “what are you doing with me?” One thing I also noticed was that he was constantly commenting on how cute I was, and how I had such a hot body and so on. Being of a shy nature I don’t really handle compliments very well. The truth is, is that I thrived on getting compliments but always got embarrassed when I them. It’s kind of strange to explain. I appeared to be up myself according to other people but really, I was insecure. Andrew and I were an item the entire night right through to the recovery party which ended around 3 pm Sunday. Then we went back to his apartment and had sex for five hours non-stop. We were crazy for each other and every time I looked at him my self-confidence plummeted as I was thinking that he was just too good for until he said these words that blew me away “I think you are so beautiful”. I melted completely. No one has ever called me beautiful and I see it as such a strong word. My reaction to him was ‘Why?” “I don’t think you realise how beautiful you really are” he replied softly whilst kissing me tenderly. He took my breath away and I wanted to feel like this forever. Something was going on between us but I did not believe in love at first sight. It’s something that I could never see happening to someone as ugly as me. But I think I am going to be proved wrong. He has captivated my heart and felt myself falling at his feet. He was the type of man I had been dreaming about.

  Andrew and I became very much more than a couple. We were inseparable for months. Even Kim said to me that she has never seen me so happy but she said something to me that shocked me. “I know he’s a lovely guy but just be careful” Kim said with concern. “What you mean Kim?” I asked with confusion. “Just...just be careful...I’m sorry James, but there’s just something about him that I’m not sure..” she continued. I took such offence to it that I said I never wanted to her again and we didn’t speak for weeks. I didn’t give any other thought for any of my friends during my time with Andrew as I believed I no longer needed friends. I had Andrew and that’s all that mattered. I think I was falling in love.

  Even though I could not see any bad side to Andrew I still dwelled on why some of my friends were suggesting that he had a bad side. I just could not see it. If I think about the situation back then, now, there were certain things that come to mind. For example I once found vials of a clear liquid in Andrew’s fridge. On the vials they just had labels on them with strange and complex pharmaceutical jargon on them which made no sense to me. I did feel a bit suspicious about them but the word ‘steroids’ never entered my mind, and I don’t know why. So I bravely remembered asking Andrew about it and that was the first time he lashed out at me, repeatedly. He knocked me almost unconscious. Somehow I forgave him and still felt love for him. Then the beatings continued from there on. Me asking Andrew about the vials in the fridge triggered his anger management issue. Then came other strange stuff like I remember once he broke out in massive pimples all over his back. He would also get upset over minor simple issues, like giving himself a paper cut, and then blaming me. Then of course he would hit me. Yet, I always forgave him after he apologised for hitting me. I never saw any darkness in him. I still don’t know why.

  As time went on and Andrew and I were still a couple, I never told anyone about our abusive relationship. This was a domestic violence issue and was not to be talked about. I felt as though if Andrew hit me, I deserved it. The similarity between this and my stepfather was identical but the thought never crossed my mind. I lived in denial. I also did not want to live without Andrew, I was scared to lose him, so I put up with the abuse. I even had to wear foundation to work sometimes to cover up the bruising on my face. No one at work questioned it, but I know that they suspected my boyfriend was beating me up but never had the courage to say something. They should have.

  Funnily enough, I had never seen Andrew use steroids although his body was growing immensely and his muscles almost looked as though they were plastic. I still did not suspect anything, but I think was in denial. We always went to the gym together and never did I see anything dodgy like d
rugs. But his behaviour was gradually changing. All of a sudden he wanted to practice in S & M. I had never done anything like this before but he insisted. So he used to whip me and he enjoyed it. He got so aroused from whipping my back and arse that he would ejaculate over six or seven times in a row! I did not enjoy the whip, but it seemed to make him happy and that’s all I wanted.

  Andrew wanted to take me to some costume party coming up. It was strictly by invitation only. It was also an S & M party, so we had to wear leather gear and stuff. But what I did not realise until a bit later, Andrew confessed to me about more details of this ‘special’ type of party. It was a sex party. So I thought, ‘okay, so...it’s a party where we have sex there?’ Makes sense, doesn’t it? But it was not that simple. Everyone at the party would have sex with each other. That meant Andrew and I were not to be exclusive to each other. I was confused. Andrew went psycho if I went to the toilet for longer than usual in a nightclub for fear that I was cheating on him, yet, he wants to have an open relationship and fuck every other guy?! What?! I did not know what to say or how to react, I just went along with it.