"Vaguely," I say. It sounds like the kind of thing I would have said to him when we were younger, back when I thought the world was simpler.
"We were sitting on the sofa back in our student house," he continues, "and you seemed pissed off with me. You turned to me while we were talking, and you told me that if I see something I want, I should reach out and take it. When I went to Hong Kong, I used your advice, but it was only years later that I wondered what, precisely, you were talking about that day".
Suddenly I remember the moment to which he's referring. It was a dull evening, with just Duncan and me in the house. We'd finally finished college, and our three years of student life were coming to an end. I'd pretty much given up hoping that he'd make a move on me, but I'd had a glass of wine and I figured one final attempt might be worth a try. So I wore a push-up bra and sat real close to him on the sofa, and I tried to hint to him that if he made a move, I'd reciprocate. By the end of the evening, I was so pissed off with him, I ended up just going to bed early. That was the night when I finally accepted that for whatever reason, Duncan was never going to initiate anything between us. One week later, it was time for me to move away to London and start looking for a job. Duncan stayed behind, with some vague plan to work at a local surf shop. We remained friends, but things were never the same.
"What do you think I was talking about?" I ask him, still flat on my back on his bed.
He smiles, and then he reaches out and puts a hand on my leg, just above the knee. It's not much, but it's more than he ever did during our three years living together at college and I feel a tingle move through my body. |"You were dating that Dave guy at the time," he reminds me.
"He and I were never serious," I say. "You knew that".
"I didn't think you were the type of person to cheat," he replies. "Even if he was a loser".
There's a drawn-out silence between us, with the only noise being the hum of the jet's engines as we soar above the world. I stare at Duncan and he stares back at me, and it's as if everything that's gone unsaid is finally coming out into the open.
"I'm not seeing anyone now," I tell him.
He smiles. "I guess that changes things," he says. He moves closer and then leans down to me. It's taken more than a decade, but finally we get our second kiss and this time it's like nothing I've ever felt before. It's so much more passionate than I could have imagined. There's no tongue at first; it's just us, gently letting our lips touch.
After a moment, Duncan climbs properly onto the bed and we start kissing properly, our tongues meeting and intertwining. I reach up and take off his jacket, before running my hands over his shirt and feeling his firm muscles beneath the fabric. I want to make this last forever, but I can't stop myself from unbuttoning the shirt and slipping it off from his shoulders. I run my hands against his bare chest as our tongues twist together. Once he's topless, Duncan lies down next to me; our kiss continues as he starts unbuttoning my blouse. After undoing the last button, he opens my shirt to reveal my bra-cupped breasts. He runs a hand against my cleavage before slipping his fingers inside the left bra cup and finally stroking the erect nipple. I've waited so long to feel him touch me like this, it sends a shiver through my body. He slips my bra out of the way, exposing my breasts, and then he leans down and gently starts kissing my left nipple, teasing it with his tongue and giving it a very gentle bite. I gasp as another shiver runs through my body.
I roll a little closer to him and wrap my leg around his waist, pressing my crotch against his body. The pressure feels good, and I can feel myself starting to become wet. I quickly remove my blouse and bra completely, allowing him to fondle my breasts as I tilt my head back. Slowly, he reaches down and starts unbuttoning my skirt, and I raise my hips to help as he slips it down my legs. He quickly removes my tights as well, before starting to kiss just below my belly button. I feel his fingers playing with the edge of my panties, and I open my legs to show him that I'm ready. Gradually, he eases the panties down to reveal my bush. Once I'm completely, Duncan gently parts my legs wider and starts kissing the inside of my thighs. I reach down and feel that my crotch is completely wet, and moments later Duncan pushes my hand aside and slips his tongue inside me. I let out another gasp as I feel him exploring my vagina, and then he starts to gently massage my clitoris. I push my crotch a little more into his face, so that there's more pressure, and it feels like I'm already on the verge of a powerful orgasm.
Rather than make me cum now, however, Duncan suddenly moves up my body and kisses me once again. I reach down and loosen his trousers, pulling them down before removing his underwear. I put my hand between his legs and feel his large, erect penis. He's definitely above average in both length and width, and since he's circumcised I can feel his bulbous, tight tip in the palm of my hand. I run my fingers down his shaft until I feel his balls. I know it sounds crazy, but all I can think about is what it will be like to feel him releasing his load deep inside me. I want to feel his hot stickiness flood into my body.
"Fuck me," I whisper as we continue to kiss.
As if on command, I reaches down and slips the engorged head of his penis between the lips of my vagina. I reach around and put my hands on his rock-hard ass, forcing him deeper inside me until finally he's gone all the way and his balls are pushed against my skin. I open my legs a little wider to help him get deeper still, and then I move my hands up and onto his back. He kisses me again and, as our tongues meet, he slowly and rhythmically starts to make love to me.
It doesn't take long before I can feel that I'm on the verge of an orgasm, but I push back, determined not to cum yet. My breathing is becoming rapid and shallow and our bodies are moving together in rhythm. Clearly sensing how close I am, he starts to speed up, thrusting further and harder into me as I put my arms around his neck and cling to him. I kiss his shoulder muscles before giving them a little bite, and this seems to spur him on to fuck me even harder. At that exact moment, the jet hits a small pocket of turbulence; the whole room jolts slightly, but it doesn't slow us down at all. I feel him getting faster and faster as he starts to lose control of his passion. Neither of us could stop now, even if we wanted to. My entire body is tense in anticipation of the intense pleasure that's building.
"I'm gonna cum," I whisper.
"Cum," he whispers back.
I hold onto him tight as I feel the tip of his penis thrusting in and out of me, and finally I can't hold back any longer and the orgasm becomes inevitable. It feels for a moment as if somehow my vagina is getting more and more tightly wound, as if it's close to breaking point as I hold my breath, before finally a powerful burst of pleasure explodes through my body. I let out a long, anguished-sounding cry as my whole body is rocked by the vibration of the most sensual orgasm I've ever felt. And just as I feel it start to fade, I hear Duncan let out a grunt and he cums. I can feel his cock squirting load after load of semen directly into me, filling me deep as he empties himself. Finally he lets out another gasp and slows down, before he stops completely and we're left there on the bed, both of us out of breath, hot and sweaty.
"That was amazing," I say as he rolls off me and lies on the other side of the bed.
He nods, clearly too breathless to say anything.
"Did you see any of this coming?" I ask, unable to stop smiling. I look over at him, and I can't stop looking at his large, sticky penis glistening under the cabin lights. It's so big, I can barely believe it was just inside me.
"What do you mean?" he asks.
"Us," I reply. "Did you think we'd end up doing this?"
He laughs. "I was pretty sure, yeah. Weren't you?"
I open my mouth to reply, but suddenly there's a beeping sound coming from the ceiling.
"Half hour warning," Duncan says. "We'll be landing in Tokyo soon". He stands up and grabs his clothes from the floor. "Sorry to switch to business mode so quickly, but time's pressing. I'm going to take a shower first, then you can go in".
"Sure," I say, watching as he disappear
s into the bathroom. I'm left naked on the bed, wondering what exactly happened just now. I mean, I know what happened, but I feel like maybe Duncan and I aren't on the same page in terms of what it might mean. I guess maybe he's just a little shy, which is understandable. Looking over at the window, I see that it's getting light outside. Soon we'll be in Tokyo, in the middle of the mad rush of what I'm expecting to be an intense city. I guess there'll be time to talk to Duncan about where we stand later. Right now, I need to switch back to my professional mode and make sure everything runs smoothly. Just as Duncan seems to have two sides to his personality, I guess I'm also divided. One minute I'm fucking Duncan, the next minute I'm his PA and I'm working on his schedule. It's weird, and slightly scary, how easily I find I'm able to switch between those two roles. I guess I'm getting a glimpse into how Duncan lives his life.
Five
"I have the Katayama papers," Duncan says, leafing through the folders on the desk in front of him, "and the Inoui-Banji papers, but I don't seem to have..." He double-checks, before looking over at me. "Amy, I don't seem to have the Ide papers here".
I feel the eyes of everyone in the room turn to me. We're in a conference room in downtown Tokyo, and Duncan has spent the past half hour speaking fluent Japanese to a dozen executives from this mining company. Not speaking a word of Japanese myself, I've had to just sit and try to judge how things are going based on the tone of the conversation. I was kind of invisible for a while, and things seemed to be running smoothly until Duncan started looking for a certain set of papers. Suddenly there's a problem, and apparently it's my fault.
"Do you know where they are?" he asks me, seeming a little annoyed.
"They're in there," I say, reaching over and taking the folder. I quickly go through all the papers, only to find that the Ide papers - which I definitely remember putting into this particular folder - are nowhere to be found. "They must have fallen out," I add, panicking as I try to think or how and when they might have gone missing. My carefully-planned attempt to keep everything running smoothly is falling apart rapidly.
"How could they fall out?" he replies.
"I don't know," I say, "but I know I put them in here".
Reaching over and taking the folder back from me, Duncan turns to the executives and starts speaking Japanese to them. I don't know what he's saying, but suddenly there's nervous laughter around the room and I realize that everyone's looking over at me. Not knowing how to react, I simply smile nervously and wait for them to carry on with their meeting. I wish I understood the joke, but it sure feels as if they're talking about me.
"Okay," Duncan says, suddenly, starting to pack his papers away. "We'll have to come back tomorrow". He packs his briefcase before getting to his feet. "Amy, are you ready?"
I stand up, quickly gathering everything together. Glancing across the table, I see that the various Japanese executives look distinctly unimpressed. I feel like a naughty schoolgirl who's been called out in front of everyone and made to look stupid. I could have sworn I put the Ide papers in Duncan's folder.
It takes almost half an hour for us to get out of the building, since it seems like everyone wants to stop Duncan and grab a word with him. I can't help noticing that he's treated with reverence in this building, as if all the Japanese executives are keen to grab a moment with him. Finally, however, we get out onto the street and start walking towards the limousine I've hired. I feel like I should say something, but I'm worried that Duncan's pissed off.
"Did we leave early because of the Ide papers?" I ask nervously.
"Yes," he replies as we reach the car.
"I'm sorry," I stammer, "I swear I put them in the folder -"
"Well they're not there now," he says, opening the door and climbing into the back seat.
As I walk around to get in the other side, I try to work out what could have gone wrong. I clearly remember putting those papers into the folder. This is my first really big trip with Duncan, and I've been triple-checking everything in order to make sure that I don't make any mistakes. I know I didn't make a mistake. None of this makes sense. The papers obviously fell out, but I can't think how it could have happened. I gave the folder to Duncan, just a few seconds after I'd double-checked that everything was perfect.
"I don't want to criticize," Duncan says as the limousine pulls away and joins the traffic system, "but I really need the right papers to be in the right folders at all times. It's one of the most important things. Now I have to squeeze a second meeting in tomorrow. It's not ideal".
"I'm -" I start to say.
"Let me finish," he insists. "I need to know that when I turn up to a meeting, everything's in order. You can understand that, right?"
I nod. "But -"
"So when things aren't in order, I have problems". He pauses for a moment. "Worse than that, I end up looking like a god-damned idiot. Don't you think those people back there will be gossiping now about how I'm apparently losing control of my business activities? I need to impress them, and fuck-ups like this just cause problems".
"I really don't -"
"No excuses," he adds. "Excuses don't interest me. What interests me is perfection, so..." He smiles. "I know I'm being harsh, but it's just something that bugs me".
"I'm sorry," I say, figuring my best bet is just to suck it up and try to work out later what went wrong. "I swear it won't happen again".
"I'm sorry too," he says, sighing. "I don't mean to be harsh on you, but these things matter. I can patch things up today, but another time I could end up losing a lot of money. One little mistake can have reverberations throughout the business world and end up costing me millions of dollars. I just need you to understand that, and to make sure that this type of thing doesn't happen again. Okay?"
"Okay," I reply. To be honest, I feel like shit. I mean, if I understood how the Ide papers got lost, I could at least work out how to make sure that nothing like this ever happens again. Unfortunately, I still don't know what went wrong, which means that there's a flaw somewhere in my system and I have no idea how to fix it. I was so certain that I'd be good at this job, but it seems like my professionalism is slipping through my fingers. Duncan clearly isn't going to be patient forever, so I have to sort myself out before it all goes totally wrong.
When we get to the hotel, Duncan tells me he's going to have dinner. The way he phrases it, I can tell he wants to be alone so I just pop out and grab something from a nearby burger place. Half an hour later I'm back at the hotel, with nothing to do other than go to my room. Duncan has booked us into adjoining suites, with an unlocked door between the rooms, and after a while I hear movement through in Duncan's side. Figuring he still wants to be left alone, I sit and watch Japanese TV until suddenly there's a knock and Duncan opens the door.
"I'm sorry if I was a little harsh earlier," he says. "It's been a long day".
"Don't worry about it," I reply. I want to ask him about what happened on the jet, to work out where we stand, but to be honest I'm worried that the answer won't be what I want to hear. I feel as if maybe it was just sex for him, whereas for me it was... Well, I thought there was potential for something else.
"I'm tired," he says after a moment. "You want to come through and give me a blow-job?"
I stare at him. Is that all I am to him? Some kind of whore who'll satisfy him when he's feeling horny? "I don't know," I say, swallowing hard.
He frowns. "You don't know if you want to come and give me a blow-job?"
I sigh. "It's just -" I smile awkwardly. "Is that something I'm supposed to be doing for you?"
He stares at me, as if he doesn't understand what I'm saying. "You're my PA," he says eventually. "Your job is to make my life easier and less stressful. Right now, what I need is a blow-job I thought we established earlier today that you're quite willing to perform this type of service".
I take a deep breath. Did he just refer to what happened earlier as a 'service'? What am I, some kind of hooker? "I'm not that kind of girl," I tell
him.
He smiles. "I think we've already established that you are".
For a moment, I feel like I can't breathe. Duncan's treating me like some kind of all-purpose comforter, as if I should just get on my knees and service his every need. When I signed up for this job, the terms were kept kind of vague, but I figured that was okay because Duncan - despite everything that's happened lately - is still a friend. Now, however, I'm starting to realize how he really views me.
"Is there a problem?" he asks.
I want to scream at him, to tell him that there's no way I'm going to travel the world and suck his dick whenever he feels like a quick release. "Why are you doing this?" I say.
"Doing what?" he replies.
"Treating me like..." I pause for a moment. "Acting like I'm just a..." I can't finish the sentence. I just sit on the edge of the bed, stunned into silence.
"You can quit if you like," he says suddenly. "The last thing I want to do is drag you around the world against your will. You can just walk out the door right now and it'll all be over. If you can't afford a plane ticket home, the British Embassy will arrange for you to get on a flight for free. You don't have to be here if you'd rather leave".
Did I just hear that right? Did he just tell me that I can walk out of here and he won't even pay for me to get home? Suddenly I realize that there's a dark streak to Duncan's personality, and perhaps I can't rely on him for anything.
"Is that what you want?" he asks. "Should I go and start looking for another personal assistant right now?"
"No," I say. I take a deep breath. Maybe the best thing to do is to just stick with this for now, and wait until we get back to the UK before I quit. I walk towards the bedroom door. "Where do you want to do it?" I ask. "On the bed?"
He nods and walks through to his bedroom, sitting on the bed and unzipping himself. As I kneel before him, he gets his cock out and leans back.
A Desire for Revenge Page 4