My mom can’t be serious.
“My job needs me to start right away,” she says, shrugging her shoulders. “And you know how it is, if they want me to leave early, I have to leave early. We have family there… it’s better to move now so you have the whole summer to get to know some of the people. And get familiar with Hawaii before your next school year starts.”
McKenna and I stare at her in disbelief.
“What about our friends?” McKenna yells.
“What about Jacob?” I say even louder. Our mother sighs. She’s defeated, but she isn’t backing down. She has made up her mind. My panic makes it hard to swallow.
“It will be difficult, girls-”
I cut her off. “Difficult? It will be awful!” I shout. “I thought we had the rest of the summer. You said that. Now I have three days to say goodbye to Jacob and Addie… to everything!” I scream. Tears sting my eyes.
“Malina, it will be okay. It’s for the best, you’ll see. Now go pack,” she says, turning away from us to shut the suitcase. “The movers will be here tomorrow afternoon. We don’t have much time.” I shake my head at them.
Suddenly my mom’s eyes grow wide and she rushes over to me.
“Malina, what is that?” She demands, grabbing my arm and pointing at my tattoo. My stomach drops. In a rush to get downstairs I forgot to put on a long sleeve shirt, and my tattoo was brightly visible for anyone to see.
I was planning to tell my mom on my own terms, when I could calmly explain to her what the tattoo means to me. But I have no choice but to confront her now. McKenna got a small tattoo when she turned eighteen. It was just a small tattoo; a petite cross on her bicep. My mom was okay with that, and actually liked it after it was done. But I’m only sixteen, and I did it behind her back. So something tells me she won’t be as chill with mine.
“I… a tattoo, mom. It’s a tattoo. I got it yesterday. You’re moving me away from my home. The only place I feel at ease. And I wanted something to remember it by.” I stomp towards the front door.
“Malina Elizabeth…” My mom yells, her voice is stern. McKenna stands by the bedroom door watching, not knowing what’s going to happen. I decide not to stick around to find out.
“I have to get out of here,” I snap. “I’ll be back later.” I yell to them. I don’t bother changing clothes. I grab my sneakers by the door and escape outside into the warm sunshine. I soak it in, letting it heat up my face before I slip on my sneakers in my front yard. I know I look like a mess with tears streaming down my face and bed-head. But who cares?
I take off running as fast as my legs will carry me. I’m flooded with emotion; fear, resentment and heartache overcome me. What am I going to tell Jacob? How could my mother be this selfish?
This isn’t for all of us. It’s for her. If it were up to McKenna and me, we would never leave Tennessee. I know it was wrong to just run away, but I needed to cool off. If I stayed and argued with her, it wouldn’t end pretty.
As I run, I remember my lunch-date with Jacob. I slow to a jog and text him, telling him to meet me at The Diner that’s not too far from where I am now.
My stomach is in knots. My heart pounds and threatens to leap into my throat. I arrive before him and sit inside with my hands wrapped tightly around the ice-cold water bottle I ordered. I’m nervous, and I’m sure people around me can tell.
I sit back and try to relax, though my world is crumbling around me. I put my head in my hands and shut my eyes. Before I know it, I hear the familiar jingle, announcing the arrival of a new customer. Someone sits across from me and I raise my head.
Jacob looks happy to be here. He’s wearing a black, clean t-shirt with jeans and his hair is freshly washed. His eyes are bright and he’s smiling, but when he sees my face his smile fades.
“What’s wrong?” He asks. “Did your mom freak out about the tattoo?”
I glance away from him, staring at the water bottle. I take a sip and clear my throat.
“Oh yeah.” I sigh. “But that’s not all.”
“What do you mean?” He looks worried.
“Well…” I say. I figure I might as well get it over with. Quick and painful.
“My mom was packing this morning…” I start. “She wants to leave in three days instead of at the end of the summer.” I tell him, staring at him head on now. “Something about her job…”
“What?” he demands. “Why would she change her mind now?” His anger momentarily stuns me. I’m at a loss for words. I shrug my shoulders.
“I-I don’t know. Her jobs making her leave early. And I have to go with her.”
“Tell her to stay longer,” he commands. “Your mom can’t just cart you wherever.”
“Jacob, yes she can. She’s my mom. I have to go with her.”
He glares at me for several seconds, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. I swallow hard.
“You want to go early, don’t you?” he finally says.
“No, I don’t. Why would you say that?”
He scoffs. “Don’t lie to me. Do you even care about our relationship?” he asks.
“Of course I do!” I say, too loudly. People are now staring at us. Jacob glances behind us and sighs.
“Let’s talk outside.” Without waiting for my answer, he stands and trudges out onto the sidewalk. I see him standing outside the window, his back to me, staring down the street and shaking his head. I stand slowly; there’s a knot in my chest. I say a silent prayer that he doesn’t make too much of a scene. Jacob can be a real hothead and this is something we both feared since my mom told us we were moving in the first place.
I push the door open and step out onto the street. Jacob turns back to me, motioning for me to follow him. He walks too fast, and so furiously that I have trouble keeping up. Unexpectedly, he turns sharply into an alley. I follow him and halt when I find him standing still.
“I’m sorry,” I start. “You can come and visit me anytime. I hope that you do. We can talk on the beach…” I suggest, coming to stand in front of him. I place my hands on his chest and lean up to kiss him. He jerks away from me, stepping back.
“No, don’t.”
I stand, feeling stunned. “What?”
“I can’t trust that you even wanna be in this relationship anymore. You aren’t putting up much of a fight to stay, so tell me, what’s going on?” He demands. I’m frozen. I’m completely stuck.
“I love you, Jacob. You know that.”
“Then why do you want to leave so bad?” he snaps. He’s getting angrier by the second. I take a step away from him.
I try to talk in a calming voice, though I’m just as upset as he is. “I don’t want to go. I thought you understood that. I don’t want to leave my home, you, my friends… but I don’t have a choice.”
“What if you meet some guy out there? I wouldn’t even know until it was too late.”
Somewhere inside me, I want to roll my eyes. “Have I ever cheated on you before?” I say, a little too angrily. “You are the last person that has to worry about being cheated on. Consider yourself lucky.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He snaps.
I sigh. “Nothing, I have to get home.”
I’m sure my mom is angry with me for leaving. I didn’t want to fight with Jacob. I wanted to be sad, and spend as much time with him as possible before leaving.
“No, we are still talking about this.” He says. “Are you trying to turn this on me? Cause that’s what it feels like. You know we agreed to forget the past and move on. Now you’re bringing it up to make what you are doing less noticeable.”
“I’m not doing anything, Jacob!” I shout. “I’m just as upset as you are about leaving.”
“Oh, shut up.” He says. “I’m so sick of hearing it. First, you never shut up about your damn commercial. Which is stupid. You aren’t even a good actress, Malina! And now you’re leaving and bringing up what we agreed to never talk about again.” He snaps.
I stare
dumbfounded. This is typical Jacob.
“My dreams aren’t stupid. They mean a lot to me,” I growl. “And yeah, you know what? Now I’m going to talk about it. You told me to never talk about your mistakes, because you can’t face the fact that you are a selfish, inconsiderate, narrow minded, cheating jerk! I never deserved to be cheated on. I deserve so much better than you. I’ve never once hurt you!”
“You’re hurting me now.” He says. My hands are balled up at my sides, into tight fists. I just want to hit something. He shakes his head before he reaches into his pocket. He rips a small bag from his jeans and tosses it onto the dirty ground.
It’s quiet for a moment as I stare at the little white bag.
“I’m leaving,” he says. “I don’t want to hear it anymore.”
I sigh, again. “We don’t need to be fighting. We don’t have much time left together.
He snorts.
“I bought that for you,” He waves an arm at the ground. “I guess it’s something you can remember me by because we’re done.”
“What?” I gasp. My heart stops. He backs away from me, his stare is icy cold.
“Enjoy Hawaii.”
And with that, he’s gone. He turns and makes his way down the alley behind the building we just left. For the second time this morning, tears sting my eyes. I wipe them away quickly, remembering I needed to get home and pack. No one needs to know I was just dumped in a dirty, smelly alley. I quickly bend down to pick up the bag, tucking my water bottle under my arm as I open it. Jacob is gone and there is no one else in sight.
I pause to open the bag. I take out a small, square box covered in soft leather. I open it to see a ring. It’s a promise ring, with a gold band and a small gemstone. My gemstone. We had talked about getting them for months now. And he finally did. Tears flow quickly now, streaming down my face. I wipe them away as they fall but it doesn’t help me look any more normal. I get many looks as I saunter home, texting Addie to tell her the bad news. I tell her first that I’m leaving. She demands why and I tell her.
‘My mom’s boss wants her to leave asap .’
I ask her to come and help me pack and then I tell her the horrible news; that Jacob broke up with me. Her shock was even greater than mine. This is routine for Jacob and me. We’ve broken up a lot in the past. But this one feels permanent. This one feels final and that’s what’s so heartbreaking. In the past when we broke up, I always knew he’d call me back or I’d see him at school and we would start talking and get back together. But I’m not going to school and he’s not going to call. He’s gone. And that thought is almost more impossible than the idea that I’m going to leave my childhood home and all my childhood friends.
When I make it home, my mom has boxes filling the living room. She’s writing things on them like ‘Knives and Cups’ and ‘Dish Rags and Towels’. She looks up as I walk in and I quickly march up the stairs.
“Malina,” she calls after me. I turn sharply on the third step.
“What?” I snap at her. She glares at me.
“The way you left earlier was silly. You should talk to me about how you feel,” she says, placing her hands on her hips. She’s wearing old jogging clothes; her cleaning clothes. I guess now, her packing clothes. “And we need to talk about that tattoo.”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” I tell her. “You are the one who is ruining my life. You’re ruining my last summer with my friends!” I shout. She sighs and I take this opportunity to run up the stairs, past McKenna’s room and into mine. I spot a stack of large, unfolded boxes on my bed. I decide to stop fighting it and I begin to fold the boxes.
Addie comes over, and we slowly pack my closest together in silence. Suddenly, Addie laughs.
“Remember when we bought this together in eighth grade?” she says. I turn to look at the mini-skirt with Tinkerbelle on it. I laugh with her. I never had the chance to wear it. My mom said it was too short. By ninth grade, I hated it. It’s been in my closet ever since.
“You can have that if you want,” I tell her. I’m sure it will fit you.”
She grins. “Thanks.”
It’s quiet for a moment. Addie folds jeans and T-shirts and places them in her box. I fold skirts and sundresses and place shoes in my box. My closet is large, larger than my mother’s and McKenna’s. I also got the biggest room because McKenna wanted the room with more sunlight and the mint green walls, and my mother wanted the only bedroom on the main floor.
Growing up, McKenna and I traded rooms every few years when we wanted a change. But when we were in middle school we stuck to the same rooms. I got this one. And I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world.
Addie and I would play dress-up in this closet. McKenna and I hid under the bed while playing hide and seek with Jacob. When my cousins came to visit, we would all hide upstairs and play Marco-Polo. Addie and I always held hands while we did this so we would both know where we were. We were inseparable.
I’m not ready to let all those memories go.
“Are you okay?” Addie asks. I glance at her and then back to my work. I nod slowly.
“I will be eventually, I guess.”
“I’ll come and visit you, I promise.”
I smile at her. “I know, thanks.”
“And hey, I’m sure Jacob will come to his senses. He’ll come and see you, too.”
“I’m not sure about that. He was so upset.”
She pauses. “It’s always been you and Jacob. We’re all friends. And we all love each other. He’s not going to just let that go,” she murmurs.
McKenna appears in the doorway, an empty box in her hand.
“I have an extra box if you need it,” she mumbles, tossing it beside me. It’s small. Maybe it will hold a few notebooks and some pictures.
“Are you all packed?” I ask her. Addie fills one box and pushes it aside.
“Almost. I still have to do my closet, but I don’t have as many clothes as you.” She grins.
“Hey,” Addie says with a smile. “Maybe I could spend the night. We could all have a going away slumber party?” she suggests.
I glance at McKenna, who shrugs her thin shoulders. “That could be fun,” she says.
I turn to Addie with a grin. “That’s just what I need.”
“Yay! I’ll call my dad and tell him where I’ll be.” She stands and walks around McKenna to leave the room. I hear her bouncing down the stairs. McKenna’s face falls.
“Mom was pretty mad you left earlier,” she tells me. “But she should be mad. I can’t believe you went out and got a tattoo.”
I shrug. “I would have done it right when I turned eighteen anyway.”
“That’s what I told her. I kind of talked her down a little bit, but you need to talk to her. Where did you go, anyway?”
“Timmy, Jacob’s friend, he did it for me.” I held my arm out for her to see the artwork closer.
“It is pretty cool, I’ll admit. You’re such a rebel.” She grins.
“Shut up.” I laugh. We both sigh, saddened by the situation.
“Jacob broke up with me,” I blurt. I needed her to know. She’s my sister. And soon, when we leave, she’s going to be all I have.
“Oh,” she pauses, not quite knowing how to respond. “I’m sorry, Malina.”
“It’s fine.”
“I’ll stay in here with you if you want?” she offers.
“No… I’ll be okay,” I say. “Go and pack. See if mom needs any help.”
“What do I do if she asks about you?”
“Tell her I don’t wanna talk tonight.”
“Okay,” she answers and with that, she turns and heads down the stairs. I bend to pick up the small box McKenna left and cross my bedroom to take the shoebox of developed pictures out from under my bed. It’s a rectangular box with the words ‘Addie and Malina’s Box of Memories No. 2’ on it in sparkling blue letters. The reason it says No. 2 is because No.1 was ruined in Addie’s backpack in eighth grade when a can of Moun
tain Dew exploded, ruining the box, but not the pictures, and ruining her textbooks and her report we worked on for two days together.
To say we were bummed that day is an understatement. That’s when we decided the box would be safer under our beds. We’ve passed it back and forth and added picture after picture over the years.
I look through them, smiling, while I wait for Addie to come back. There are some of my first modeling shots. I’m sitting in the sunshine, trying my best to look like I knew what I was doing. Some are of the day Addie and I got our fingernails and toenails done. Her nails are covered in ladybugs and mine are covered in little bumblebees. We thought we were so cool.
I giggle at the memory.
“Okay!” Addie says, coming into my room. “It’s settled. I’m staying here tonight.”
“Awesome,” I say, pushing the box back under my bed.
“What else do we have to pack?” she wonders, closing the boxes full of clothes.
“My desk needs to be cleaned out,” I say. “That shelf above my bed needs to be packed,” I tell her. The shelf is holding trophies from track and little knick-knacks I’ve collected over the years.
I pack the shelf while she cleans out the desk. My mom makes dinner; meatloaf and mashed potatoes. I have a bowl of fruit and a small Chef’s salad with boiled eggs and cheese. I don’t talk to my mother while we all eat. I know she’s furious about that tattoo but I also know she won’t yell at me in front of Addie. So instead, I talk to Addie and McKenna about our plans for the next couple days. It’s going to be just us together, spending as much time as we can.
That night, Addie, McKenna, and I sit in the living room, surrounded by our boxes and watch movies together. Addie paints McKenna’s nails. I braid Addie’s hair while we all snack on leftovers from dinner. We stay up late, taking photos to remember our limited time. We stay up until two in the morning, when McKenna finally goes to bed. Addie and I share my bed, half-asleep and still laughing at each other.
“This was fun,” she yawns. I grin.
“Your hair looks great,” I tell her. “I’m proud of myself.”
Malina Beach: A Paradise Island Series Page 3