“hi.”
“Hello,” he replies, squeezing my hand.
“This is your Uncle Jim,” my mom says. “He’s your dad’s older brother.”
McKenna’s eyes widen. “That’s why you look…so much like him.”
I stare at him for a long time. I had an uncle this whole time. Why wasn’t I told? Why didn’t he come to see us in Tennessee? Where was he when my father died?
Why is he here now?
“Why are you-” I say before my mother cuts me off.
“Jim lives here. He helped me with you girls for years. And he helped me get stationed here on the Island.”
The island? My mom is already calling this place the island?
“What do you do?” McKenna asks. My mind wanders to my room upstairs. I wonder where my bed is in the house? It’s not in the living room with everything else.
“My primary vocation is as an actor,” he says, snatching my attention.
“You’re an actor?” McKenna gasps. “Malina loves acting!”
“McKenna!” I hiss.
She looks surprised. “What? You do,” she murmurs, looking to Jim. “She was in a commercial.”
He grins. “Your mom told me about that, I saw it on TV a few times,” he says. “I can help you nail down some auditions, if you’d like?”
My mom snorts. “Jim,” she laughs. “You can barely get auditions for yourself,” my mom jokes. “When you first started out, you were doing commercials for men’s diapers. Remember?”
He chuckles. “And men’s fashion bags,” he says. McKenna laughs softly.
“So, what?” he continues. “Now I do independent films. You have to start somewhere,” he says to me. I smile at him. I like Uncle Jim.
“Anyway,” my mom says. “Both of my girls need to concentrate on school. Not modeling or acting.”
I narrow my eyes at her.
“Oh, one or two commercials won’t hurt? Maybe a catwalk or two?” Uncle Jim says, with a teasing grin.
“Can you tell us things about our dad?” I ask. I know that’s an out of the blue question. But I have to take this opportunity, right? He could tell us something amazing about our dad that could trigger a memory I didn’t know I had tucked away. It’s worth a shot to ask.
My mom looks uncomfortable, but Jim smiles.
“That’s a good idea, Malina. I’ve got a million stories. Your father was a lovable piece of work.”
McKenna giggles, covering her mouth. I glance at my mom, who is growing more morose by the minute. “I’m going to go clean and look at what rooms are left.”
With that, she leaves without a backward glance. I watch her go, wondering what he could have to tell us. I don’t think my mom is over my dad’s death. It’s been years and she hasn’t dated or even talked about it with anyone. I’ve never given it much thought but maybe I should talk to her. Maybe she is holding on to waning memories too tightly to move on and I’ve been too busy to notice.
Maybe moving is a way to let the past go. That was the house we lived in when he died, even if we only lived there together for a few months before he left for Iraq. Maybe she can’t live there anymore with the memories and the sadness and missing him. And I’ve been giving her a hard time. McKenna and I, mainly me, have been fighting her the whole way.
It’s quiet for a long moment. McKenna shifts uncomfortably next to me.
“What was our dad like as a kid?” she asks finally.
Uncle Jim starts to tell us about our father. How he loved the ocean and was a real lady killer in his younger years. He was always the girls’ favorite. He had many girlfriends before he met my mom. But when he met her, she was all he could think about. That makes McKenna and I smile.
He tells us things about the day we were born. Our uncle was there until my father died. After that, he couldn’t come around anymore. He apologized for that.
That must be why I don’t remember him. I ask McKenna if she remembers him and she shakes her head no. This seems to make him sad.
“I would babysit you when you drove your parents crazy,” he says with a sad smile. “I just couldn’t stay in Tennessee. It wasn’t where I belonged to begin with, but after your dad was gone I had no other reason to stay. I belong here,” he says with a wide grin. “On the water and in the sunshine. The beach and this island are just perfect for me.” We tell him we understand and that it’s okay. That seems to make him happy.
“I mean it about the auditions,” he says softly. “I can get you one for a commercial? Perhaps a small film role?”
“You mean a movie? Like a movie, movie?” I stammer.
He chuckles. “Yes, a movie.”
“That’s… huge,” I say. Scary, huge.
“That is huge, Malina!” McKenna says. “You should do it. It would be so great for you!”
“You think?” I say, unsure. I haven’t auditioned for anything in over a year. Jacob thinks it’s a stupid dream and my commercial was just a small town gig. My head is spinning. Is this really happening?
“Yes!” McKenna says.
“Give it a shot,” Uncle Jim says. “What could it hurt?”
I agree, though inside I’m terrified. But, terrified or not, it’s what I want. I have to take that first step. I have to get back out there.
I spent the next two days preparing for the audition. Uncle Jim gave me the instructions on what the part is for. It’s for a small movie role. I’ll be a waitress. I’ll be taking orders, pouring coffee and serving pie when someone asks me if I believe in true love. I’m supposed to give a simple, sweet answer “If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.”
“You can do this, Malina. I believe in you so much!” McKenna says, excited as we arrive at the address written in chicken scrawl Uncle Jim gave me. My mind goes numb as we wait for my turn. Girl after beautiful girl comes and goes to audition for this part, all looking hopeful. They all look prepared. Finally, when it’s my turn, I walk on shaky legs to stand at a counter in a cluttered room full of a dozen people. I pour coffee, am asked the question, and say my line. And all the while, I’m thinking I’m going to pass out, throw up and die all at the same time. My stomach is in knots. I nearly drop the coffee mug I’m serving and I stutter hopelessly as I say the words ‘meant to be’.
McKenna is waiting outside the door. She grins as I leave and instead of grinning back, I nearly sprint out of the room. She calls after me, but I take off walking, too upset to talk.
I know I won’t get that part. I know I screwed it up. I just wasn’t ready.
I lose McKenna as I rush down unfamiliar streets. She probably went home to call Uncle Jim and tell him what a waste this try was. I know he’s going to be disappointed. Maybe my mom was right.
I need to concentrate on school.
My run is lonely and unpleasant, being as I have no idea where I’m going. I decide to go home and face facts. My acting career just isn’t going to happen here.
I get the rejection call two days later, a short and simple call from a tired woman with a scratchy voice. I feel so badly, I don’t run for three days.
My first jog I officially take to look for new routes starts in my own neighborhood. I count the houses on my block and find that there are six houses, three on each side of the street, including mine.
Unlike the streets back home in Tennessee where everyone keeps their grass mowed and their bushes trimmed, trees and wild brush surround these homes. I wonder why no one has taken care of that. Maybe they like living in the middle of a jungle? Like Uncle Jim says, he belongs there. Maybe they feel that they belong here too. Maybe they love to be tucked away on an island full of jungle in their small, adorable homes.
My house is the largest on the whole block, and the most elaborate. I’ve become proud of it. I can’t wait for Addie’s arrival; she’s going to love this place.
Before I start off, I spot a girl about my age in the yard next to mine. She’s on a large, soft green and white bicycle, putting on a matching helmet c
overing her long, dark hair. She exercises like I do. Maybe she can show me a good route around the here.
“Excuse me?” I say to her, jogging to close the space between us.
“Yes?” she turns to smile at me politely. She’s wearing white biking shorts with deep green trim, sneakers similar to mine and a matching white and green T-shirt. There’s a water bottle attached to her bike, full of ice.
“Hi, I’m Malina,” I introduce. “I was just wondering if I could go along with you… wherever it is that you are going,” I add. She pauses, looking at me strangely.
I laugh at myself. “I know that sounds weird, but I’m a runner and I just moved here and I don’t know any good running routes.”
She grins. “Absolutely!” she exclaims. “I’m Emily. You’re the new girl that moved in next door.” she laughs. “I was wondering when we’d meet. I met your sister, McKenna, yesterday.”
I like Emily. She reminds me of Addie, and I miss Addie terribly.
“So, I’ll run and you bike?” I say.
She agrees. “Where did you move from?” she wonders as we start off down the street. We turn the corner and I find the connecting streets are the same as ours. We can still hear the ocean so I know we aren’t traveling far.
“Tennessee,” I tell her. “Have you lived here long?”
“My whole life,” she replies. “Born and raised. I have sunshine in my blood,” she jokes. We pick up speed. My heart starts to race and pound against my ribcage. I hear the thump of my sneakers on the pavement. That sound keeps me going, keeps me moving, and keeps me pushing forward. It keeps me on my rhythm.
Emily’s bike tires make a soothing sound against the road, too. All of this along with the ocean waves could be a song all in it’s own. Emily looks winded, but has a small smile on her face. She doesn’t look as tired as I’m starting to feel, though.
That’s what I’m living for. When this exhaustion gives up, when I break down and become stronger, that’s when this ache will be worth it. I’ll be flying. I’ll be unbeatable. That’s what I love. That’s what got me the body that Jacob loved.
When Jacob enters my mind, my sides begin to cramp up. I fight through the pain and focus on the warm, refreshing wind in my hair.
I run alongside Emily for a good thirty minutes. The route she takes winds around the neighborhood, passing barking dogs and kids playing on the street. The neighborhood is surprisingly large, but when we come to the end, she cuts through a group of trees, onto a thin trail throughout the jungle. The jungle, as it seems to me, is just the forest surrounding our neighborhood. The rest of the island isn’t like this, of course. We don’t get lost as I suspect, we simply follow the trail that winds in a giant circle through sunny woods and out into the light of our neighborhood. By the time we circle back to our houses, I’m beat, but happy. Emily rolls her bike into her garage.
“That was a crazy good route,” I gasp out, leaning over to rest my hands on my knees. I’m breathing so heavy that for a moment, I think I might faint. Emily looks a little worried about that, too, but smiles at me, nodding.
“I love that trail,” she beams, catching her breathe. “Are you alright?”
“I’m great,” I breathe. “I just haven’t been running as often lately. I haven’t been myself since the move.”
“Oh,” she says. “I saw you the other day… you were walking. You looked a little down.”
Oh, she must mean the day of my botched audition. “Yeah, that was a crappy day. But I’m fine.”
She doesn’t buy it. “You didn’t look fine.”
I sigh. “I auditioned for a small film role, but I didn’t get it.”
“You’re an actress?” She asks.
I snort. “I wouldn’t say that. I had one commercial in Tennessee. But it’s what I’d love to do.”
“Oh,” she says. She pauses. “I really think you should try again,” she says. “I’m sure you were just nervous.”
“I was, but… honestly, I don’t know if I can audition again. It’s just going to happen again.”
“Nah,” she scoffs, waving it off. “No way. You’re great and you know it.”
She says this so seriously I have to laugh. “You don’t even know me!”
“You’re my neighbor now. I’m going to get to know you.”
She smiles at me and invites me into her small, wooden house. We drink sodas and sit on her leather couch, enjoying the cool breeze of the fan hanging above us.
“I usually don’t drink soda.” I tell her, wincing as the carbonated drink burns my throat. “I only drink water or juices.”
“Why?” she asks.
“I like to be as healthy as possible. You know, to lose weight and keep it off. Better teeth and bones. Things like that,” I say, as if it’s obvious. She laughs softly.
“My teeth are healthy and straight. My body is trim and fit and my bones couldn’t be stronger.” She jokes, gulping a drink of her soda.
“You must be pretty lucky then.” I laugh.
“Or I just brush my teeth and drink my milk?” She grins.
“Are you trying to tell me I’m a health nut who shouldn’t be such a stiff and eat a piece of cake every now and then?” I ask her, smiling.
She laughs again, harder. “Sort of.”
“Yeah, I get that a lot.”
“All I’m saying is, take care of yourself and you can have things like this every now and then. Plus, who cares?” she says. “Don’t listen to other people.”
“Not even you?” I tease. She grins.
“Not even me.”
It’s quiet for a moment; “We could make cake if you want? Come on, live on the edge! Everything else in your life is evolving. Why shouldn’t you?” she says, smiling, walking over to the cabinet and pulling out a bag of flour. “I’ve been dying to try this new recipe.” I think about that for a moment. I think back to the last time I had a piece of cake. I think it was two years ago on my birthday? I don’t actually know. I’d have to ask McKenna.
“Sure,” I say. What the hell? Who’s going to know?
We talk for a few more hours. I learn that she goes swimming at least once a day, rides her bike every other day, and goes to school like any other teenager.
I watch her as she mixes cake batter and finishing by sticking the large Bundt cake in her oven. We sit in her small, cute kitchen and wait. I can soon smell the potent, chocolate aroma.
“Where are your parents?” I ask, wondering why we’re alone.
“They’re at work,” she says, as if that’s obvious. I roll my eyes at myself.
“Your moms in the air force, isn’t she?” she wonders. I shake my head yes.
“She hasn’t started her new job yet, though.”
“That’s so cool.” She says as I shrug. I never really thought about her job much before.
“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” I ask.
“One brother. No sisters,” she replies. “I have a handful of friends, but I don’t usually see them during the summertime,” she adds.
“Why not?” I couldn’t imagine summer without my friends. It’s funny, though. Here I am, spending my summer without the people I love the most.
“They leave for the summer. Usually vacationing with their families,” she explains. “Which is fine. When we do get to see each other we have a few months of stories… It’s like having a whole new batch of friends,” she explains. “Plus, I have a job during the summer and I get to take time off any time I like… today for example.” She smiles.
“Wow,” I say. I wistfully imagine having a job in this strange new place. It would help me get into a new routine, Hawaii style. Maybe it’s time I get one.
“Yep,” she murmurs. Her timer dings, signifying the cake is ready to be taken out. We let it cool and she cuts us both a large, chocolate delight slice. To my surprise, she places the slices in a bowl and pours milk over them. She hands me a fork. When I look at her quizzically, she laughs and says, “Trust me. It’
s good.”
And she was right.
As we eat, her front door opens. We both look up to see a shirtless boy rounding the corner into the kitchen. He pauses as his eyes land on us girls with our faces full of chocolate cake. His eyes squint.
“You made cake?” he asks. He has dark hair and ocean blue eyes. They land on me for a split moment before moving to search around the kitchen.
“It’s cooling over there,” Emily jabs a thumb over to the counter.
“I’m Malina,” I say, and for a moment I don’t know why. He nods slightly.
“I’m Ben,” he says.
“He’s my brother,” Emily says, rolling her eyes playfully.
“We just met,” I say, again, for reasons I don’t know. Why are words just falling out of my mouth?
“Great,” he murmurs, sauntering over to take a giant slice of cake. He plops it onto a plate and hurries out of the kitchen, down a short hall and into what looks like a messy bedroom. He slams the door and moments later; we hear loud, bass-heavy music pumping out from under the door.
We glance at each other for a split second before bursting into a fit of laughter at him. We talk for a few more hours before I head home and pass out, I was exhausted.
I call Addie the next day, telling her about Emily and my house and my new running route. She suggests we talk using Skype. I borrow McKenna’s computer and sit in the middle of my bed. Not familiar with Skype, Addie helps me set up an account.
Finally, I can see her on the screen. A huge smile appears on her face.
“Hi!” she says. “How are you?”
“I’m okay. I’ve missed you!”
“I missed you, too!” she shouts. I laugh. I notice her hair is shorter and gasp.
“You cut your hair!” I yell. She laughs.
“I was hoping you would notice. Do you like it?” She fluffs it with her fingers.
“Yes!” I say. We talk for a few moments more about her hair and my room. I swivel the laptop around to show her and tell her I’ve got pictures for her for when she send me the memory box.
Suddenly, as we talk, she grows more serious. Finally, I have to ask what’s wrong.
“Jacob…” she murmurs.
Malina Beach: A Paradise Island Series Page 5