“What about him?” I demand. For a split moment, I miss him so much I want to cry. I miss my home. I miss my town. I miss my friends. I miss Addie. I miss having a boyfriend.
“Well, he’s been hanging out with Julie. Remember Julie? His ex?” she says. My heart stops. “I think he’s getting back together with her.”
“Oh.” I pretend not to care, but inside, I want to scream and throw this laptop across the room. But he dumped me, so I guess he can do what he wants.
I tell Addie I have to go sooner than I’d liked to, which makes me sad. But being that there’s an eight-hour time difference between Hawaii and Tennessee makes it hard for me to get ahold of her. But right now, I’m almost too upset to care. I slam McKenna’s laptop shut and hide under my covers until dark, when I take my evening run alone. All the while, Jacob is on my mind.
Chapter Five:
It’s a sunny Saturday morning when I get a call from my Uncle Jim. I’m eating dry toast and tomatoes when he calls. He sounds chipper and happy, and I immediately take on his good mood.
“Hey, my beautiful niece, got a minute to chat?” he asks. I grin.
“Of course.”
“It’s a gorgeous day, you shouldn’t be sitting around the house. How about you and I go paddle boarding?” he asks. Paddle boarding? I’ve never done that before but I’ve always wanted to. Addie and I would kayak or canoe on the lakes near our houses but they didn’t have paddleboards available. But I have wanted to get out into the water. What could it hurt?
“Sure. I’d love to. As long as you promise I won’t drown.”
He laughs. “I’m not making any promises.” He hangs up.
I get dressed, not really knowing what to wear for paddle boarding. I wear an old black and red two-piece bikini under a t-shirt and shorts and wait for him to arrive. He takes longer than I suspected and by lunchtime I’m a little aggravated.
Finally, he knocks on the door.
“Sorry, I’m late. I know, I know,” he says, holding his hands up in defense as I open the door with a sour look on my face. “I got held up. I had to do an audition that I forgot about.”
“Oh,” I say, wanting to roll my eyes. How can he just go ‘do’ an audition? Why can’t I do that?
“Yep. Ready to go?”
“Ready,” I say. We take his car. It’s an old, rusty beater of a car. It’s dark green with worn cloth seats.
He drives us to the ocean, which is even more beautiful up-close. The shore is covered in people of all shapes and sizes. People are swimming, surfing, playing and snorkeling. And, without much of a struggle, I am out on the water and ready to paddle board for the first time.
“Okay,” Uncle Jim says as we stand, waist deep in the water. “It’s real simple.”
He starts, “Hold the paddle by the top of the handle. Don’t forget that.” He shows me how to stand, “Keep your feet parallel. Shoulders apart.”
We place the boards in the water, so that the fin is about four feet above the sandy ocean bottom. We start on our knees, paddling with our hands further into the water, before slowly standing on our boards with one foot at a time. My heart nearly leaps into my throat when I feel myself falling. I let out a little squeal.
Thankfully, I don’t fall into the water.
“See,” Uncle Jim says, laughing. “It’s not that hard.”
“Right,” I breathe. We aren’t finished yet, though.
“Now,” he says. “Stay in the center of the board. There you go,” he instructs.
“I think I got it!” I say. I keep my hands at the top of the paddle and slowly begin to move.
He does the same. “It’s all in the strokes.”
I grin and start to paddle deeper into the water, towards the sun.
“Fun, isn’t it?” he says softly. I nod.
“It’s beautiful,” I say. “Peaceful, easy, and beautiful.”
“I agree,” he murmurs. We glide along the water for a while, not saying much. It makes me wonder what my life would have been like with him around more. I tried not to dwell on the fact that I never had a dad going up. I was as okay with that as a girl really can be. I guess a better way to phrase it would be that I accepted what was instead of fighting it. I also accepted only having my mom and McKenna for a small but closely knit family. I never truly considered what I was missing because he died when I was so young.
But only a few days with my uncle and I was seeing things in a whole new light. It’s amazing and scary, because now I know I was missing out on something so much more than just my father around. It makes me want to curl into myself a bit and just feel bad for my misfortune. Loss of a parent is never really something you can get over. The whole thing really colors who you are as a person. It also makes you wonder; why did that have to happen to me?
“So,” Uncle Jim says, bringing me back to the present. I blink and realize we’re still on our boards, almost in the middle of the ocean. Okay… not the middle. But it may as well be, considering how out of my element I feel.
“What?” I say.
“What direction do you see your career going?”
“What career?” I’m not following.
“Acting and modeling. That career. The career you’ve been talking about since you were eight,” he says. I squint against the sunlight.
“How do you know that?” I ask. How does he know I’ve wanted to be an actress/model since I was that young?
“Your mom and I have always kept in contact,” he explains. “I know more about you and your sister than you think.”
Oh. Right. “I don’t know,” I answer him. “I mean… I want those things. I want to be an actress. And a model. Modeling would be so great, but…”
“But?” he urges. I pause, hesitating.
He paddles closer to my board as we let the waves drift us. “Come on, don’t get shy on me now.”
“I’m scared,” I confess. “I’m terrified. How do you do it?”
“I was terrified, too, Malina,” he says. “My first audition, I threw up all over the sidewalk outside of the building,” he tells me. I laugh in shock.
“Wow” I mutter while trying to stifle a chuckle.
“Yeah,” he laughs. We are still drifting on the water, away from the majority of people. It’s nice having someone new to talk to. I think of Emily and smile. I’ll have to visit her again soon. Maybe talk to her brother, too. He was… interesting.
“So what do I do?” I ask.
“You keep going,” he tells me. “Keep auditioning. Keep practicing. Keep working at it. You’ll get there.”
“You think?”
“I don’t think,” he says, shaking his head. “I know, Malina. I’m certain.”
“What if I’m not good enough?” I ask. “What if I really don’t have the natural talent to work off of?”
“Talent?” he sneers. “You want me to tell you about talent? Your dad, when he was younger, he wanted to try out for this surf team. This little ole’ surf team. And he was awful at it. I mean, he could hardly stand up on a board long enough to make it to the real waves. But he worked at it, every night after school he was out on the water. Here and in Los Angeles,” he tells me. “Day or night, he just wanted to surf. And by he time he passed on…” he pauses, squinting into the distance. “He was a professional, Malina. A damn pro. He was the best.”
I stare at my uncle, and for a moment, I see the pain of the loss of his little brother in his eyes. I also see the pride in him that his little brother fought for his dreams until the very end. I suddenly want to hug him as tightly as I can, but being on this board, I know I can’t.
“It’s important for you to follow your dreams, it’s so important. Our dreams, family, and friends are all we have. And even those things aren’t for sure. They can disappear at any moment. So, please, keep trying.”
“I will,” I assure him. “I’ve made up my mind.”
“Promise?” He smiles at me.
“I promise.”
That makes him happy. “Great. We’ll get you into some acting classes in no time. Hell, I can even give you some auditioning tips.”
We stay on the water until the sun begins to set, swimming and pretending to surf. It takes a lot of balancing but I attempt some yoga poses on the board. It’s the most fun I’ve had so far in Hawaii. Uncle Jim is quickly becoming one of my favorite people. He’s wonderful. I can’t believe I went my whole life without him. When the sun sets, I take a photo for Addie of the water, the people, Uncle Jim, the gorgeous setting sun and myself, before we head home.
The next day, Emily, McKenna and I make it a fun quest to turn me into an acting and modeling champ. Emily stays over, reading lines with me for auditions that Uncle Jim has set up for me with a great recommendation to the director. I can’t mess those up. I just can’t.
We take modeling shots for my portfolio and headshots for my auditions. That was my favorite part. I lay in the sun and had my picture taken. I was much more comfortable with modeling than acting. We spent three days working and taking photos, some for fun and some for the more serious subject matter.
But eventually, we had to take a break.
And during that break, we ate cake. Red Velvet cake, in fact, with cream cheese icing, and I loved every minute of it.
“You’re a great cook, Emily,” McKenna says. I agree with a mouthful of icing.
“Thanks,” Emily says with a proud, crooked smile. “I have a lot of hobbies. Baking is just one of them.”
“What other hobbies do you have?” I wonder. I don’t want my new friend to feel left out. It’s been all about me for the last three days. I’m sure they were getting sick of headshots and scripts.
“Oh… well, you know I bike and hike and cook and all of that. And I work when I need a little cash,” she tells us. “There is something I’m really passionate about, though,” she adds. “As passionate as you are about your career,” she murmurs to me.
“What is it?” McKenna asks. She cuts herself another sliver of cake.
“Keeping the ocean clean,” she answers. “Saving the animals. In fact, there’s this volunteer event happening in a few days. You two should come with me. I’ve been doing it for years now.”
I glance at McKenna, who grins. “Sure.”
“I’m in,” I say. And with that, we have plans with a new friend.
Chapter Six:
The morning of the volunteer event is unusually chilly. The sun was gone, hidden behind thick clouds. My mom tells us we are expecting a thunderstorm and to be back before dark.
“No playing around today, girls,” she says to McKenna and I as we have breakfast. “Storms out here on the water can get pretty risky. That means no running into the woods or paddle boarding Malina.”
“Yes, Mommy Dearest,” we say in unison in a gentle, mocking tone. We began giggling as my mother rolls her eyes before leaving out the front door.
“When do you think Emily will get here?” McKenna asks. As if on cue, there’s a knock on the door. I hop up and jog to answer it while McKenna finishes her breakfast.
Emily is dressed in warm clothes and boots. Her hair is in a tight ponytail. She grins as I open the door.
“Hi,” she says. “Are you guys ready?” she wonders.
“Yes,” I tell her and call McKenna’s name. We grab light jackets and walk to the event from my house, talking and chattering about what we are going to do today.
“Well,” Emily says. “Before you moved here, there was an earthquake,” she tells us. “And that earthquake brought in waves the size of buildings. A lot of people were hurt, and a lot of people are still needing help.”
“Oh,” McKenna says. “That’s awful.”
“Yeah,” she says. “Thankfully my brother and I weren’t affected much. My parents were at work, hiding in the most secure portion of their office building. It was a big mess and thirteen people on the island died,” she tells us. “But what we’re going to do today is this; when the waves came in they damaged a lot of people’s homes and dragged trash up onto the island, so we are here to clean it up,” she says.
“Clean up the shore?” I wonder.
“Yes.”
When we arrive at the shore there are a dozen people already picking up trash so we grab trash bags and start to help them. We work our way around the sand and then into the water, picking up beer cans and dolls, old clothes and plastic wrappers.
We work for two hours, which is a lot when you are bent over most of the time. We take a break finally, taking a sip of water and getting off of our feet. After that, we are right back at it. I’m in my zone, picking up trash and thinking. Letting my mind wander off into the water.
I spot Emily’s brother, shirtless and tan, with a black trash bag in his hands, heading for Emily. She greets him with a smile and he takes her full bag, passing off the new one before moving onto McKenna and doing the same for her. Now with two large trash bags in his hands, he makes his way over to me, greeting me with an awkward smile.
My stomach turns to knots and I fidget with my bag, nearly dropping it.
“Hey,” he says smoothly, effortlessly. “Need a new bag?” he wonders.
My eyes slide down his body slowly, not that I can help it. I can’t tear them away, but I know I have to soon, or he is going to think I’m having a stroke. He squints at me, waiting patiently for my answer.
“Yes,” I say. “Thank you.”
I pass him my bag and he takes it from me, handing me a flimsy, empty, fresh one. He throws my bag over his shoulder and snatches the other two up in one hand.
“Aren’t you cold?” I ask quickly before he continues. “It’s a little chilly.”
He glances up at the overcast sky and shrug. “A little wind never hurt anyone,” he says simply, moving on to the next person who needs a clean bag.
As he does, I watch him leave, finding myself wondering how Emily would feel if she knew I was ogling her older brother. She probably wouldn’t appreciate it much.
I finish cleaning, and meet up with McKenna and Emily to get some early dinner at a diner near the beach. I have a salad and munch on large tomato. McKenna and Emily have hot dogs covered in Ketchup. I watch them eat, but I know I just can’t join in.
I won’t change my moral compass just because everything else is changing.
Moments before we are about to leave, my phone buzzes in my pocket, letting me know I’ve just received a text. I expect it to be from my mother. But when I tug it from my back pocket, take a sip from my water bottle, and check to see whom the text is from, my scalp pricks from the shock of the name.
Jacob.
My mind freezes. My hands freeze. I’m scared of what the message says.
Seconds pass and turn to minutes. I try to look normal, and just swipe my hand across the message, opening it.
I’m sorry, it reads. I’ve missed you.
I want to roll my eyes. You were hanging out with your ex, I text him. Leave me alone.
I wasn’t, he replies. Who told you that? They’re lying.
Addie told me, I tell him. And she wouldn’t lie about that.
I want to come to Hawaii. I want to see you.
Why?
To talk. To see you. To get some sun. To at least hear your voice.
I pause and think. Is this really a good idea? I thought he was gone forever.
I’ll think about it, I tell him. Bye.
“Who was that?” McKenna asks. Before I have a chance to answer her, she gently takes my phone from my hands, glancing at the screen.
“Who is that?” she snaps. “Is that Jacob?”
I snatch my phone back. “Yeah, it is,” I say. “He just wants to come and see me,”
“Who?” Emily asks, turning back to us.
“Jacob,” McKenna answers for me. “Her ex.”
“Ooh,” Emily says, making an O with her lips.
“Yeah,” I say again. “It’s fine, though. I’m fine.”
“Malina,” McKe
nna says. “Don’t let him get in the way of what you’re doing. It’s all about you now. Not him,” she says. “Don’t let him get in the way of you and your dreams.”
“I’m not, McKenna. I’m not. I’m fine. Didn’t I just say I was fine?” I grumble, stubbornly. She leaves it at that, finishing her dinner.
“We have to get going,” I remind her. “We have a storm coming.”
When we all leave the diner the storm clouds have gotten darker. The wind is picking up. It blows my hair around my face as we all run home together.
We make it home in time before the storm begins to really start. Emily leaves us in our yard, running over to her front door. Our mom’s car is in the driveway so we know she’s home, probably waiting for us on pins and needles. Our uncle Jim’s car is also in the driveway, which makes me excited.
We get inside and take off our shoes and jackets. “Uncle Jim?” I say.
“Hey!” he calls from the living room. McKenna runs upstairs while I meet Jim in the living room. He stands from the couch, where my mother is and greets me
“Hey! I have a great news!” he says. My heart stops. I got an audition… I got an audition. Please tell me I got a great audition.
“What’s the news, Jim?” Mom asks. I’m surprised my mother doesn’t know yet.
“Yeah, what is it?” I say.
“You got an audition and a meeting. With a very reputable modeling agency,” he tells me. I nearly pass out. I mean I actually about fall to the floor in shock.
“What?” I question with nervous but excited caution.
“What?” my mother growls. “Hold on. Didn’t I tell you, zero auditions? No meetings, no anything. Just school?”
“Mom-” I say. She cuts me off, growing angrier by the minute.
“No, Malina. You don’t get to make these kinds of decisions. That’s not how it works. I said no.”
Uncle Jim frowns, giving me an apologetic glance.
“Maybe it’s not for the best right now,” he says.
“No!” I panic. “Mom, this is what I want. Don’t ruin this for me!”
“Ruin what? Nothing has happened yet,” she argues. “I’m not going to talk about this. I said no. You need to focus on school. Focus on a job that will actually do something for you.”
Malina Beach: A Paradise Island Series Page 6