Talystasia: A Faerytale

by Haadiyah Cardinalis

  … And now, she wouldn’t even attend their funerals.

  He enjoyed killing them.

  "Whatever you—"

  "—I don't believe you," she whispered fiercely.

  It happened without her leave. She found the knife from her belt clenched suddenly in her hand, her other twisting Julia’s sleeve—Julia, whom she had again forgotten, except apparently, with her unconscious mind. The girl’s scream reached her as if through a fever.

  Telyra's eyes instantly lost focus; his mouth opening slightly, he took half a step forward.

  "I want to watch you leave," she said, lightheaded.

  He halted. "... She's nothing to me."

  Liar, she almost said but for the blank indifference in his eyes.

  Julia stiffened, whining as the knife scratched her throat. Rose’s grip shook, her palm sweaty. She fought to control her hand, wondering distantly how she’d come to be trapped under this spell. She could feel the girl’s heart pounding under her arm.

  "… I'll leave first,” he offered, spreading his arms out. “A day's head start if you wish. I had no intention otherwise. “You’re scared,” he continued, inching forward. “Do you think I don’t know? Do you think I haven’t stood where you are …?”

  She tensed as he circled within inches of her. Leaning in so that his lips almost brushed her ear, he whispered, his voice barely audible.

  "She's the strongest person I know … Don’t force her to be stronger."

  Shame shooting through her like a crossbow bolt, she dropped the knife to her side. Shaking, Julia sprang away from her toward the gap in the wall, her eyes roving between them in a mixture of bewilderment and resentment.

  Rose turned to Andreas, stammering to form an apology or explanation, sucking in tears of heartbreak and shame.

  "—Don't worry about it," he said kindly, cutting her off at the pass. “There’s a storm coming, Rose.”

  “Storm?” she asked hoarsely, unable to meet his eyes, closing her own as if she could hide behind them.

  “A storm coming over me. I’ve known it for years, I think. I feel so clear right now … but that’s how it is, you know—before a tempest.”

  She took a deep breath, still shaking and numb. Every thought was an exertion, every word felt worthless.

  God … I’ve betrayed him again. How will he ever forgive me?

  “How—how long are we going to do this? Journey?" she asked.

  "Until one of us finds answers."

  "But how do I know you won't race back here first—or how do you know I won't—ruin everything—"

  "I guess we'll just have to learn to trust each other somewhere in the time we're gone." He raised his hand in a wave. “And now, I think, I should be going. You’ve traumatized my slave—"

  He glanced through the breach in the wall. Julia had wandered off into the fields, and stood watching them alone, her arms clenched across her midsection. “—who is likely in need of comfort.” He smiled wryly. “I hope our next meeting will be in friendship.”

  “Wait! … one more thing.”

  “Yes?”

  “Umm …” she blushed. “Do you drink your enemies’ blood?”

  “… What?” Andreas started to laugh loudly. “What the hell?”

  “That’s what people say about you. For real. All my life I’ve heard stories about you …”

  “Well, it’s not true … obviously. That’s disgusting.”

  He turned to leave.

  Rose raised her hand toward his departing back. "You should tell her!" she blurted.

  Looking back over his shoulder, he raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Tell her what ...?"

  "... What you told me."

  Andreas gazed back expressionlessly, then turned away once more.

  "... God bless," she called out lamely as he walked away.

  He stopped, flinching visibly. Then he spun around to face her. "There is no god!" he snapped, pulling his lips back in a feral snarl.

  Heart into her throat, she staggered backwards.

  "—No gods!” He was shouting now. “If there were, do you think we'd have to live like this? Killing each other, maiming each other—?"

  A simple social nicety infuriated him more than the terrible thing she’d just done?

  "B-but—" she started.

  "NO. No buts. If a god could stop this—and didn't, that god would be complicit. Period. If there is such a god, he is my enemy. As it is, there isn't. So don't tell me 'God bless.' Either he can't bless me or he won't. Either way, he deserves my contempt, not my fealty. Let's be better than these imaginary gods, Roselia Loren."

  “And you …” she started bravely, her voice quivering, stepping toward him, “What about you? How many people have you killed? How many people have you maimed?”

  His eyes darkened, but he didn’t look away.

  “Make no mistake. I … don’t … maim. I do kill. Our world is rife with suffering. It is no great sin to separate a man from his suffering.”

  “How do you know you save people from their suffering? For all you know, you just condemn them to more.”

  “There’s no such place as Hell. And if there were, it’d hardly be my fault. It would be the gods who lorded over such a Hell who condemned the dead to suffer, not me. Look at me,” he snarled. “… condemned to wear this thing, to be a monster. Your god, if he exists, is a monster. I am the proof. That’s why we’re fucking doing this.”

  At a genuine loss for words, utterly shaken, she shrugged, mumbling. “… Why can’t people just be nice?”

  Andreas smiled at her cynically, took the reins of the sorrel and the black, and walked away through the gap. On the other side of the wall, across the field, Julia fell in beside him. To Rose’s dismay, the two hadn’t gone ten steps before he shoved the girl roughly. She stumbled, almost toppling into the muddy field, then shoved him back. When she turned her head, she was laughing.

  … To the south, Rose’s own road stretched out in front of her, desolate and interminable.

  But at least it was away—away from here.

  ~~~

  "So, we're not ... going home," Julia panted disbelievingly.

  "No," replied Andreas as she clambered to mount her horse.

  "Aren't you gonna help me up?"

  "Nope. But I'll help you down if you piss me off." He grinned.

  "Where are we going?" On the last word, she heaved herself up and over. "Ow," she hissed. Andreas bit his lip, but made no move to help her.

  "Not important," he answered.

  "And I'm ... coming with you? But you’re always on about how dangerous the world is—"

  "And it is. But you're safe enough with me."

  Pulling up beside him, she looked down at him darkly. Liar, that look said.

  He gazed back up at her. … Yes.

  "Why couldn't we go west? I want to see the ocean."

  "I know you do. Maybe ... someday.”

  She snorted. “Why are you bringing me?”

  “Because I’m irresponsible. And I need you for the packing, the unpacking, the laundry, the—”

  “That’s why you’re bringing me?” Her voice fell with her face.

  “No. No, it isn’t. What did you think of Lady Loren?" he asked.

  Scowling, she pointed at the thin red mark on her throat. "She's a madwoman! Look what she did to my neck!"

  "She's not mad—she's afraid ... I like her."

  "... Like her!" she cried. "She just had a knife at my throat—you're awfully forgiving. Like her, she's crazy."

  "She wouldn't have hurt you."

  “How can you be so sure of that …?”

  “I just … am.”

  "You were ... kind to her," she gasped. "You were ... polite." She wrinkled her nose in irritation. "You're never polite to anyone."

  "You're right.” He smiled. “That's interesting.”

  ~~~

  "Lady Loren," Corin said quietly. Some of the vacancy he’d seen several days ago h
ad returned; her eyes seemed to be fixed on a small stone by the side of the forest path, her faraway gaze utterly motionless. "… Take him up on his offer. Leave tomorrow. Or not at all."

  "No," she said, her features unlocking. "Absolutely not. I'm going to leave now, just as he is. Good faith for good faith."

  "At least linger within half a day's reach by messenger until we can be sure he hasn't circled back. He’ll do the same, you can count on it."

  "Well ... eventually, we're just going to have to forget about it and move on, aren't we?"

  "Yes, but ... just for a day or so. For me, Lady, please. Write often."

  "… Fine," she exhaled. “For you. But you know, after I really do depart, the letters will be mostly one way. You won’t know where to reach me.”

  “Yes. But at least I will know you are … all right.”

  He reached out gingerly, holding his breath, and took her hand; it was cold and limp and trembling. She didn’t pull away. Even this small touch was a brash breach of etiquette. That she permitted it was incredible.

  “You just spoke with the man who killed them. And I’m guessing—”

  “Uncle Laren and Uncle Martin. Aunt Fannie. Uncle Kael. My cousins Edward, Geoffrey and Sarai. All by his hand according to survivors. I … I just lost it. Did you see what I did?”

  “Yes … and it was one hundred percent senseless,” he admonished teasingly.

  “Glad to know I still have your respect. You know, he was kind, considering what I did.”

  “Had it been me …” he said, “face to face with the killer of my loved ones … I doubt I could’ve shown as much restraint as you did. I’d have been ready to end everyone near and dear to him. You didn’t slit her throat, and you never would have. So don’t be too hard on yourself.”

  “God, she must despise me, and he must too … I feel such a fool. Have you ever felt—that is, do you ever see someone and just feel like you could connect to them? Like … given different circumstances, they could’ve been your friend?”

  “Yes,” he said painfully.

  You really have no idea, do you …

  He dropped her hand, pulling away into himself.

  “Suddenly I feel like I want to become her friend, and I have no idea why … Now I’ll never get that chance. I detained her all night, I was rude to her, and then I put a knife to her throat … But I probably wouldn’t have seen her again anyway. I can’t really have much in common with her; I can’t even imagine the life she leads. Andreas owns her.”

  “Well, if you had to do something as foolish as what you did, at least you did it to someone likely to forgive you for it.”

  “Forgive me? How could he?”

  “Not Telyra … I meant her. She forgives him. Or learns to live with him at least. She has a forgiving nature. He’s in pain. So are you. She could see that.”

  “True.”

  "—Don't leave me," he heard himself beseeching suddenly. "Let me go with you, please—"

  "—No, Costellic, this is something I have to do by myse—"

  "—He's taking her with him, why can't I go wit—"

  "—Just ... no!" Her brow creased. "Like you said, I need you here. There's no one else I can trust. I don't ... know what's driving you. But whatever it is ... it'll be all right," she whispered. "Do you think I'm mad?"

  "I think you're stupid," he choked.

  She smiled. A dark brown ringlet—her real hair—fluttered across her cheek, escaping from beneath her veil.

  It happened suddenly and without warning, as it always did—he was abruptly yanked backwards in time, his soul ripped into the past.

  Another lock of hair, flaxen as goldenrod, blew back in a warm autumn wind from underneath a handkerchief—Anya’s handkerchief. A deep blue sky arced over their family farm on the northern border, reflecting and deepening in his sister's cornflower eyes, her mouth stretched into a wide, happy smile, ignorant of the storm that would extinguish it tomorrow.

  Gazing up at the dark sky through the whispering treetops, he shuddered as a raindrop fell in his eye.

  I will avenge you.

  He returned to Lady Loren’s bright, expectant and desolate mahogany eyes.

  … Both of you.

  She glanced between the branches to where Telyra's and Julia's mounted figures could be seen dwindling into the northeast.

  "I don't understand her," she muttered, shaking her head.

  "You're concerned about her?"

  "... But he's so cruel to her," she said. "Why did he lie to her?"

  "Lie?"

  "That whole show ... 'She's nothing to me.' That wasn't for my benefit, it was for hers. Why won’t he tell her? Why does he want her to believe he’s indifferent to her? Why is he so afraid to show his affection?”

  Corin watched the shadows of leaves flickering across her doleful face.

  I’m going to lose her too …

  He wanted to hold her, to throw caution to the wind and kiss her …

  But he remembered the soldiers in the trees above them. He wasn’t ready for the world to know how he felt. Placing her in such a compromised position would be unacceptable.

  ... Or maybe he just wasn't ready for her to know.

  "He must care for her very much," he assured her gently. "Isn't it obvious … that all of this is for her?"

  Lady Loren took his hand one more time. He closed his eyes, relishing it.

  “Goodbye Corin.”

  ... A moment later, the forest path was empty.

  Behind him a branch snapped.

  “This city takes everything away,” he whispered. “Everything worth a damn.”

  "Isn't it funny ..." remarked Faldon Cue, emerging from the brushwood. "Last week, I was your superior. If I had drawn the short straw ... I'd be the de facto dictator of half the city right now. Instead of you. Can’t say I envy you."

  Through the leaves, Corin spotted one last glimpse of Lady Loren riding south.

  She passed behind another bough and was gone.

  … Isn’t it obvious.

  End of Volume I

  Find out what happens next to Andreas, Rose, Corin and Julia in

  Talystasia Volume II: On the Road

  About the Author

  My words are shattering glass

  Smashed beneath the weight of my grief.

  A flickering flame,

  I have to keep it safe

  But I won't whisper your name,

  Not when I should shout it.

  But even in this fumbling silence

  Falling

  Sometimes I catch the scent of you

  Burning in my veins

  Souls, you say, are their own coordinates.

  You are the binary star system I navigate by,

  Even when I'm blind in the dark,

  So the when doesn't matter

  Or the where or the how,

  Because I know I'm coming home

  The long way around.

  http://thepiertoforever.webs.com/k-j-h-cardinalis