Perfect Imperfection

by Jennifer Preston

  She turned back to look at him one last time before she silently slipped out the door.

  Cole rolled over onto cool sheets. His arm reached out automatically, searching for a warm body, but there was nothing. A sense of wrongness cut it’s way through his sleep-hazed brain. There should be someone next to him, smooth and soft and perfect. Dragging himself from sleep, Cole groggily opened his eyes, only to find an empty bed. Propping himself up on his elbow, his hand brushed the sheets next to him. They were cool, not a trace of warmth left, testifying that they’d been empty for some time.

  Confused, he scanned the dark hotel room looking for her. No lights were on, and the room was silent. There wasn’t any sign that she was still there. His heart clenched in his chest.

  Frantic, he leaned over and flipped on the bedside lamp next to him. He blinked against the sudden harsh light, his eyes taking a moment to adjust to the brightness. He sat up, taking in the quiet room around him, and quickly confirmed the fear that had been building in his chest. Bri was gone. Her bag she’d brought and the few things she’d had scattered around the room were gone.

  Jumping out of bed, he threw back the thick curtain shading the glass door to the balcony. The stars had disappeared, and the sky in the easy was beginning to lighten to a hazy, grayish blue. It was almost dawn. How long has she been gone? Fear settled over him.

  He quickly dressed and grabbed his phone before rushing out into the early morning. As he drove towards the Duke campus, he kept calling her number, over and over again, but it went to voicemail each time. Cursing, he threw the useless phone into the passenger seat, his eyes desperately scanning the sidewalks for a glimpse of her.

  Heart pounding in fear and panic, he threw his car into the first parking space he could find, and rushed towards the dance team’s dorm. A moment later he stopped, remembering that Bri wasn’t on the dance team any more, and didn’t live there. Cursing even more profoundly, he turned and ran towards the only place she could be: the dormitory towers where the majority of the Duke students lived. The only problem was that there were two towers, and he had no idea which one she’d be in. Deciding that the process of elimination was his best course of action, Cole pounded up the steps to the first building and pulled on the door.

  Locked.

  About to let loose a string of profanity that would shock even hardened sailors, he noticed a call button on the side of the door, and pushed it. A moment later, a security guard stood up from behind a desk inside and looked at him, before picking up a receiver and speaking into it.

  “Can I help you?” the middle-aged woman inside asked, eyeing him warily.

  “Hi,” Cole tried to give her a charming smile, but his nerves were so taunt he wasn’t sure he was successful. “I’m looking for Ambria Donnelly. Can you tell me if she lives here?”

  “I’m sorry, but I can’t give you that information. You’ll have to come back during regular visiting hours.”

  “Visiting hours?” he asked, confused.

  “Visiting hours are from 10:00 A.M. to 10:00 P.M. No one without a key card gets in after those hours,” she sighed, like she’d had this conversation a million times already. Judging by her weary expression, she probably had.

  “Seriously?” He gave an incredulous chuckle. There hadn’t been any “visiting” restrictions in his building when he’d lived on campus, nor in Bri’s building, either. Apparently the student athletes got a little more leeway than the rest of the student body.

  “Seriously,” the woman grumbled, moving to hang up the phone.

  “Wait,” Cole called, desperate for any information he could get. “Can’t you just tell me if she’s in this building? Surely you recognize me? I helped Duke win the NCAA tournament a couple years ago.” He didn’t usually like throwing around his celebrity status for personal gain, but he was desperate enough to try anything. “If you could just tell me which building she’s in…”

  “No,” came the staunch reply. “Even if I did recognize you, Cole Marra, I can’t give out students’ personal information without their consent. You can come back at 10:00 and try to find her yourself.” And this time she didn’t pause at his protests, and hung up.

  Anger and fear and frustration filled him, and he stepped back to gaze up at the multi-storied building in front of him. No, he ran his hands through his hair. He couldn’t give up. He couldn’t let her leave him behind. He had to find her, there had to be a way.

  Running around the nearest side of the building, he began shouting her name. Despite the early hour, there were a few lights on in some of the windows, and if he could just get someone’s attention… He continued around the building, screaming her name like a crazy person, so desperate that he didn’t care.

  He’d made it halfway around the second tower, practically raving like a lunatic by this time, when campus security surrounded him. Whatever force of will that had kept him going evaporated, and an icy numbness filled him as he was summarily escorted off the campus.

  He’d failed.

  Alone in his car, Cole just sat there, staring blankly ahead. He didn’t need to check his phone to know that she hadn’t returned any of his calls, or responded in any way. His breaths came in short, shallow gasps as reality crushed him.

  She was gone.

  She had disappeared without saying goodbye, without leaving so much as a note. She’d snuck out like a thief in the night, leaving a black, gaping hole in her absence.

  Cole knew his heart was breaking, splintering and shattering into the bottom of his chest, but he was so numb he didn’t feel a thing. He knew that it would hit him later, that the pain would be so relentless and all consuming that it would crush him, but for now he just sat there in shock.

  He knew that this had been Bri’s answer. She couldn’t, or wouldn’t, ever forgive him. She was ashamed, obviously thinking that the past two days had been a mistake, and had slunk away in the dead of night to avoid having to face him. She didn’t want him back. There would be no future for the two of them.

  He knew he should be angry with her, and he probably would be later, but all he felt was a consuming, harrowing despair, so deep he didn’t think he’d ever be able to pull himself out of it.

  And to be completely honest, in a world without Bri, he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

  Chapter 10

  Bri peered anxiously out her window, waiting for her first view of New York City. Her heart beat with anticipation, excitement, and a little bit of nervousness.

  It had been two months since she walked out on Cole. Two months since she’d changed her number, threatened her friends and family with severe bodily harm it they even thought about giving it to Cole, and walked away from him for good. How she’d left things, what she’d done to him was wrong. She knew that. She could even admit that she felt horribly, gut-wrenchingly guilty about it. But it didn’t change the fact that she’d made her decision. She wasn’t ready for a relationship with him, and pretending otherwise would only hurt him more. So now she was running from all of those feelings and memories, trying to start anew, hoping to be able to find some sort of happiness for herself.

  Aside from completely destroying Cole’s heart, hopes, and dreams, in the past two months she’d also managed to graduate with honors form Duke and get accepted to the masters program at Columbia University. Instead of going home to California for the summer like she normally did, she had packed up her things, sold her Jeep, and flown to New York. Although classes didn’t start until August, Bri wanted to give herself some time to acclimate to her new city. She told herself that her decision to get to Columbia so quickly had nothing to do with avoiding a certain NBA star who tended to bounce between Salt Lake and L.A. during the summer, but she couldn’t deny that the chance of running into him back home terrified her. So instead of risking a confrontation with Cole, she decided to immerse herself in her new life. Because that’s what this move to New York was: a new start. A chance to build a new life, in a brand new city, free of the remi
nders of her past. She needed this, a chance to start over. And despite how awful she felt about Cole, she was excited for a fresh start.

  Her breath caught when the iconic Manhattan skyline crept into view as her plane prepared to land. Small houses and buildings gave way to taller and taller buildings as she passed, until masses of towering skyscrapers, reaching into the bright blue sky, filled her view. Bridges lined the banks, full of cars bustling into and out of the metropolis. And finally, the Statue of Liberty, sunlight glinting off the tarnished copper, rose out of the ocean at the head of the island, stately and welcoming in all her glory.

  A small smile turned up Bri’s lips. Maybe, just maybe, in a city as exciting and impressive as this, she might just be able to find what she was looking for.

  After retrieving her bag from the baggage claim, she stepped out into the bright, warm, sunshine. She took a deep breath, inhaling the humid scent of ocean and car exhaust, and excitement flooded her. She had arrived. She found a cab, gave the driver the address for her new apartment, and sat back in her seat and let the city swallow her.

  It took some time to get to the Columbia campus through the tight, busy streets, but Bri hardly noticed, too caught up in the sights around her. After paying the cabbie, she stood a moment, looking up at her new apartment building. Taking a deep breath, she picked up her bag and climbed the stairs to her new home.

  Hesitantly, she opened the door to her apartment. Taking a quick glance around, she was surprised at how nice it was. She’d pictured a glorified dorm room: ratty second hand furniture, stark, blank walls, strange old smells. She was relieved to find new, contemporary furniture, gleaming appliances, and art hanging on the neutrally painted walls.

  She ventured a step or two inside, and one of the doors on the far wall opposite her opened. A tall, willowy girl with dark skin and a mass of short black curls walked out, jumping when she caught sight of Bri standing there.

  “Good lord, you startled me,” the girl placed a hand over her heart. She had a distinct British accent, which made her sound both sophisticated and adorable. “I didn’t hear you come in. You must be the new flat mate.” She walked over to Bri and held out her hand. “I’m Rebecca, but everyone calls me Becks.” Becks smiled, and her warm brown eyes sparkled.

  “Ambria,” Bri shook her hand. “But everyone calls me Bri,” she smiled back.

  “Ambria,” Becks tested out the name. “That’s really quite lovely, isn’t it? It just rolls right off your tongue. Do you mind if I call you Ambria? It seems such a shame to chop it down. Rebecca, on the other hand, is so ghastly and boring. Becks is practically stunning in comparison.”

  “I don’t mind at all,” Bri laughed. “Hardly anybody calls me Ambria. It’ll be a nice change of pace.” In fact, Cole had been the only other person who ever called her Ambria. But she quickly pushed that thought out of her head.

  “Well Ambria, your room is right through there,” Becks pointed to the far door off to the left. “Gracie’s room is that one, there,” she indicated the door in the middle. “And my room’s the door on the right.”

  “Is Gracie not here?” Bri asked, curious to meet her other new roommate.

  “Oh no, she’s here. Gracie hardly goes anywhere, but you’ll find she spends most of her time in her room. She’s a bit shy and standoffish, but she’ll warm up to you. I should also warn you, she’s a bit… quirky. But don’t let that put you off. She’s really a sweet girl, once you get past everything else. Oi, Gracie!” Becks suddenly yelled at the closed door, causing Bri to jump. “New flat mate’s here. Come on out and say hello.”

  After a few moments, the knob turned and the door opened slowly. A petite girl with light brown hair, and brown eyes covered by black-framed glasses, cautiously peeked out.

  “Ambria, this is Gracie. Gracie, this is Ambria. She’s just moving in.” Becks smiled encouraging at her roommate, but Gracie just eyed Bri warily from the doorway.

  Finally, Gracie nodded slightly. “I’ll put you on the bathroom and cleaning schedules,” she said in lieu of a greeting.

  “Um, that’d be great,” Bri replied hesitantly, not sure how to respond.

  “The last one brought a cat.” Gracie’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t have a cat, do you?”

  “Uh, no. No cat.”

  “Any other type of animal?”

  “Nope, it’s just me.” Bri tried to give her a reassuring smile.

  “Good,” was all Gracie said before unceremoniously closing herself back in her room.

  Perplexed, Bri turned questioning eyes on Becks. She had no idea how to take that whole interaction.

  “Well, it looks like you passed,” Becks grinned at Bri’s obvious confusion. “Don’t mind Gracie. She doesn’t do well with change. She likes stability and predictability. I think that’s why she chose physics. She likes creating order out of chaos. Give her time to get used to you, and she’ll warm up.”

  “Who was ‘the last one’?” Bri asked.

  “Our last flat mate. Oi, what a disaster that was,” Becks shook her head. “Needless to say, you wouldn’t be here if she and Gracie had gotten on at all. The poor girl lasted only a few weeks before Gracie drove her out.”

  “A few weeks?” Bri’s jaw dropped. “Gracie’s not going to try to kick me out, too, is she?”

  “Nah,” Becks clapped her on the shoulder. “You didn’t bring a cat.”

  Bri just stood there gaping.

  “Well, I’ll leave you to unpack, then. If you need anything, don’t be afraid to knock. Later, mate,” Becks smiled, and bounded back to her room, leaving Bri alone once more.

  Bri looked around her new home. Despite Gracie’s less than friendly reception, she had a feeling she was going to like it here.

  It didn’t take long to explore her new bedroom: a twin bed with a window above it, nightstand, closet, a dresser on the far wall, and a small desk. It also didn’t take her long to unpack her things. She found an empty shelf in the bathroom for her toiletries, and after the communal bathroom in her dorm at Duke, she was thrilled at the prospect of sharing a bathroom with only two other people.

  With her unpacking all done, Bri decided to go do a little exploring around the Columbia campus. Becks’ door was still closed, and Bri didn’t want to disturb her, so she slipped out of the apartment and spent the next couple hours walking around the beautiful campus and familiarizing herself with her new school.

  She walked back in her apartment to find Becks on the couch watching TV.

  Surprised, Becks turned to her. “You’re a sneaky little thing, aren’t you? I didn’t even hear you leave. We’re going to have to put a bell on you or something.”

  Bri just stood there, not sure whether she should apologize, and Becks laughed.

  “I’m only joking. Are you always so serious?”

  “No,” Bri began, walking over and plopping on the couch. “I’m just trying to get used to everything. I guess I’m a little nervous.”

  “Well, don’t be,” she smiled, and Bri immediately began feeling more at ease. “Hey, I’ve an idea. Let’s all go out tonight, you, me, and Gracie. We’ll get some food, have a few drinks, and get to know each other a bit. What do you say?”

  “That sounds perfect,” Bri smiled.

  “Fabulous. You go get changed, and I’ll tell Gracie the plan.”

  “Changed?” Bri glanced down at her outfit. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

  Becks raised an eyebrow at her. “It’s Saturday night in Manhattan. You absolutely cannot wear a t-shirt and jeans. Go put on something more appropriate, and by appropriate I mean… not this.” She gestured disgustingly at Bri’s old sneakers.

  “Hey,” Bri laughed. “They’re comfortable. I did move today, you know.”

  “Yes, but if you’re going to be a New Yorker now, you’d best look it, hadn’t you?” Becks winked, before bouncing off to Gracie’s room.

  Unconvinced, but not wanting to argue, Bri went to her closet and tried to
find something Becks might deem appropriate. She settled on a black, drape front tank and a pair of black skinny jeans. She touched up her makeup, fluffed her auburn hair, and went out to meet Becks.

  “Much better,” Becks approved. “And I have the perfect necklace to go with that top. Come on,” she beckoned Bri to follow her to her room. “Here,” she pulled a long gold necklace, matching earrings, and a few bracelets out of her large jewelry box and held them out.

  “Thanks. They’re beautiful,” Bri took the offered jewelry and moved to the large full-length mirror in the corner to put them on.

  “What size shoe do you wear?” Becks’ head tilted as she glanced at Bri’s shoes.

  “Um, six,” Bri replied.

  “Here,” Becks grabbed a pair of black, over the knee boots. “Try these. They’ll be a bit big, but I think you can make them work.”

  Bri obediently pulled on the boots, and her jaw dropped as she recognized the designer label.

  “Are you sure you want to let me borrow these?” she gaped. “They must’ve cost a fortune.”

  “Don’t bother yourself a bit,” Becks waved her off, like outrageously expensive footwear was no big deal. “I have plenty more where those came from. Now, let’s take a look at you.” She pulled Bri up and turned her around. “Smashing,” she grinned. “Now, I need a bit of advice. Which do you think?” Becks held up five different tops for Bri to choose. After going through a similar process for shoes, Becks was looking smashing herself in a pair of faux leather leggings, and a red off the shoulder top. Spikey, black designer heels and loads of jewelry finished off her look. “All right, how do I look?”

  “Hot,” Bri replied definitively, and Becks grinned.

  “Can’t ask for better than that. Let’s go.” The girls moved to the living room.

  “Oi, Gracie! You ready to go?” Becks knocked on her door.