Perfect Imperfection

by Jennifer Preston

  “Believe me, at first I thought it was all a hallucination or a dream or something. But after a few weeks, I finally wrangled it out of Seb that you had come to me when you heard about my accident. You spent days in the hospital, making sure I was okay. And then you came up with this ridiculous idea that we both needed to move on with our lives, and you ran away. But not before you stopped to say goodbye to me. Your words changed me. And when I woke up, I knew exactly what I was working to reclaim.”

  “But, that’s not your decision,” she snapped, fear making her defensive. “This is my life, and I’ll live it how I want, with whom I want.”

  “You’re right,” he nodded. “You can live your life, any way you want, but I am going to be a part of it in one way or another. As your friend or something more, I’ll leave to you to decide. But I’m here, and I’m staying, so get used to it, Bri. You’re stuck with me, because I’m not letting you run away from me again.” He flashed her his signature cocky smirk, and walked away.

  Gaping after him, Bri was grateful when Becks pulled her aside.

  “Okay luv, time to spill. I just saw you and your secret internet obsession looking like you were about to eat each other’s faces. What in the world is going on with you two?” Becks eyed her. “And don’t even think of telling me it was nothing, because that bloody well didn’t look like nothing.”

  Her mind still reeling, Bri looked up at her friend, desperate for some help. “Oh Becks, what am I going to do?”

  “First, you’re going to tell me the whole sordid tale, and then we’ll go from there.” Becks wrapped a comforting arm around Bri and led her over to a private booth in the back. “Don’t worry luv, no one will notice the birthday girl is missing for a while yet. Now, let’s start from the beginning.”

  Forty minutes later, Becks’ eyebrows were in her hair.

  “Wow. That is quite the whopper, isn’t it?”

  Bri let out a ragged breath. “Yeah, it really is. So, what do I do now?”

  Becks leveled a no nonsense look at her. “You need to figure out what you want. Whether that’s Adam, Cole, or neither, you have to decide.”

  “But I’ve already decided. I walked away from Cole, for good. I meant that. I couldn’t keep up with the back and forth between us, and that hasn’t changed just because he’s here.”

  “Yes, but I’ve seen the way you watch him. That kind of history doesn’t just disappear overnight, either. There’s still something there, even if you don’t want to admit it.”

  Bri just glared at her. “You’re not helping, you know.”

  “Look,” Becks put up her hands. “I like Adam, I do. He’s a good bloke who treats you like a lady. I’m not saying you should just toss him aside like yesterday’s rubbish. What I am saying is that it isn’t fair to marry one bloke when you still have the hot and heavies for another. Which one gives you the hot and heavies, well, that’s something only you know. I can’t say I envy you, luv,” she shook her head. “Well, we’d best be getting back before they realize you’ve gone missing.”

  “But,” Bri stammered. "You haven’t helped me at all.”

  “No, but you’ve helped me tons. I’ve been dying to find out what was up with you and the basketball hottie you’ve been drooling over forever. And let me tell you, the story was totally worth the wait.” Becks winked at her before sauntering off, leaving Bri gaping after her.

  That’s it; her friends were all dead to her. Between inviting Cole to her party, moving with Cole to New York and not even giving her a heads up, and just prying the gossip from her, her friends were pretty much useless.

  Bri rejoined the party, and no one seemed to have noticed her absence. Everyone stopped by to congratulate her and Adam and check out her Tiffany’s engagement ring. Cole mingled among their old friends, laughing and joking with Matt, Devon, and Seb, but he didn’t approach her again. She hated to admit it, but it was good to see him back with his friends. He looked like the old Cole again, the one she’d fallen in love with. He seemed happy and unburdened somehow, like the weight of the expectations he’d been carrying around for years had finally been lifted from his shoulders. That freedom looked good on him, Bri thought with a smile. Then she mentally smacked herself upside the head to derail any more of that kind of thinking.

  Stephanie sauntered over just then and provided a much needed distraction.

  “So, who is that guy that came with Cole?” she leaned into Bri’s ear so as not to be overheard.

  “Who? You mean Seb?” Bri glanced over at him. He seemed to be in the middle of telling a very animated story.

  “Seb,” Stephanie considered. “So, who is he?”

  “Um, he’s an old friend from California. He’s one of my best friends and he’s like a brother to Cole.” She looked at her friend, a bit puzzled. “You aren’t interested in him, are you?”

  Stephanie flipped a lock of blond hair off her shoulder. “And what if I am?” She grinned. “So what’s his story? Is he dating anyone?”

  “I, um…” Bri really didn’t want to get into her complicated history with Seb, so she answered as truthfully as she could. “I don’t know if he’s dating anyone. He just moved here with Cole, so I doubt he’s had time to meet anyone. But I also don’t know if he left anyone behind in California before he moved.” Or in Spain, for that matter.

  “Hmm,” Steph grumbled. “For him being one of your best friends, you sure don’t know much about him.” She gave Bri a shrewd look. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

  “Nope,” Bri rushed to redirect the conversation. “Seb’s a great guy. You should go for it if you’re interested.”

  “Maybe I will,” Stephanie replied, still with that discerning look. “I think I’ll go have Cole introduce me. Wish me luck.”

  “It’s Seb who needs the luck,” she teased. “After all, you’re leaving in a couple days. Just please, be gentle with him.”

  Stephanie just leveled her with a wicked grin and then turned to go find Cole.

  Bri just shook her head. Poor Seb didn’t know what was about to hit him.

  She turned back to Adam, who had held his own while she’d been talking with Stephanie, and continued to introduce all of her friends who came by. She watched in amazement as he spent the rest of the night getting to know all her old friends, asking to hear story after story about her from the people who knew her best. She couldn’t help but be impressed and flattered that he would go to all this trouble for her. Her heart swelled as she watched him laugh at a stupid story one of her fellow interns was telling him, and the surge of love and admiration that rushed through her brought tears to her eyes. He caught her smiling up at him, and leaned down.

  “What?” he grinned. “What’s that smile for?”

  “Oh nothing, just that you’re the most amazingly thoughtful and wonderful man I know,” she returned, and went up on her tiptoes to kiss him. By the time she pulled away, he was a bit dazed. “You ready to get out of here?” she asked him.

  “Oh yeah,” he smiled.

  They rushed through the room, saying their goodbyes. Bri’s friends were going to be in town for a couple days, and they made plans to meet for lunch the next day, so she didn’t feel too guilty about flaking out on her own birthday party. After one last hug to Joe for hosting her party, she met Adam at the door.

  “You ready?” he asked.

  She answered with a kiss instead.

  He pulled open the door for her. Smiling, she stepped through the door, throwing one last glance at the party still raging behind her.

  Cole stood in the middle of the room, the dim bar lights glinting off his dark hair. His face was blank, but the pain in his eyes was unmistakable as he watched her leave. Her breath caught, and she paused mid step, before Adam stepped around her and offered her his arm.

  “Let’s go,” he smiled down at her.

  “Yeah,” she breathed. “Let’s go.” And she let the door swing shut behind her.

  Chapter 18 />
  After her friends all flew back home, Bri’s life resumed its normal pattern. If you considered the fact that the former love of her life and one of her best friends now lived mere blocks away from her, and that she was newly engaged to a man she wasn’t sure she was ready to marry normal. Just the thought of moving in with him had sent her into a panicked frenzy, let alone spending the rest of her life with him, or anyone, for that matter. She wasn’t ready to get married right now. And she knew that she needed to talk to Adam about this, before things got too far, but it just never seemed like the right time. And, if she were honest with herself, she was terrified to bring it up. She was so worried that if she talked to Adam about her fears and hesitation, he’d take it the wrong way and they’d break up, which was not what she wanted at all. What she really wanted, needed, was time. But the longer she waited, the less time she felt she had.

  Christmas came and went, the New Year fast approaching, and she still hadn’t mentioned the wedding at all, to anyone. In fact, only the people who were there at her birthday party even knew she was engaged. If Adam was confused or concerned by her lack of enthusiasm over their upcoming union, he didn’t say anything. He hadn’t brought it up much either, and she always managed to change the subject when he did, but she could tell he was anxious to start planning their life together. He was just waiting for her to open up the discussion. But, for a myriad of reasons, she just couldn’t do it.

  Becks was hosting a New Year’s Eve party at her current boyfriend’s house, and she insisted that Bri and Adam be there. They’d had other plans, but after much begging and pleading, Bri finally relented, grateful that Adam didn’t complain about cancelling their plans with his work friends. Gracie had adamantly refused to come, stating that she had no desire to spend hours trapped in a small room with people she had nothing in common with. Needing a few more people to round out her guest list, Becks had invited Cole and Seb to come. Unfortunately, Bri didn’t find out about this until it was too late to back out.

  Knowing Cole was going to be at the party later that night, Bri was already not in the greatest of moods when Adam called that afternoon. Claiming to have a surprise for her, he asked her to meet him at an unfamiliar address in Midtown. Definitely not in the mood for any more surprises, she grudgingly agreed to meet him.

  She was utterly confused, and not a little bit ornery, as she walked up to the address Adam had given her. It was an old, stately apartment building, with a beautiful pattern of alternating light and dark red brick all the way up the façade. The awning covering the front door implied that this was a prestigious building, and an expensive address. She wondered why on earth Adam would want her to meet him here.

  A moment later, he came out the front door of the building, a huge smile on his face. Taking her hand, he kissed her quickly.

  “So, are you ready for your surprise?” His excitement was palpable, and it sent a jolt of nervousness through her.

  “What kind of surprise comes in an apartment building?” she asked, still confused. But as Adam nodded graciously to the doorman as he opened the door, and the doorman tipped his hat at Adam, Bri suddenly thought she knew. Her stomach plummeted to the floor.

  Stepping inside the lush, sophisticated lobby, Adam led her over to a man in a black suit, who was obviously waiting for them.

  “Bri, this is Phil Roberts. Phil, this is my fiancée, Bri.”

  “Nice to meet you.” Phil shook her hand.

  “Well,” Adam beamed. “Shall we go see it?”

  Phil nodded and held out a hand to the elevator. “This way.”

  They were inside the elevator on their way to the eighteenth floor when Bri finally found her voice.

  “What exactly are we going to see?” she managed in barely more than a whisper.

  “Phil is a realtor.” Adam squeezed her hand, which he had yet to let go of. “There’s an apartment that just recently became available that he’s going to show us.”

  Bri’s eyes closed as her worst fear was confirmed. Her heart began pounding in panic, but she forced herself to stay calm. She couldn’t very well lose it in an elevator. Not trusting herself to speak, she quietly followed as Phil unlocked the door and let her and Adam into the vacant apartment.

  She couldn’t deny that it was a great space, with large windows that let in a lot of natural light. The appliances and finishes were top of the line, and the dark hardwood floors gleamed throughout the two-bedroom apartment. Phil pointed out all of the poignant features, and then left her and Adam alone for a minute to discuss it.

  “So,” Adam turned sparkling eyes on her. “What do you think?”

  “What is this?” she finally looked at him. Her anger and frustration had been growing with every step they took through this pristine embodiment of their future

  “What do you mean?” His brow crinkled in confusion. “It’s an apartment. I was hoping it could be our apartment. You know,” he continued when she just stared at him. “A place to start our new life together. It’s got the square footage I’ve been looking for, in a great location, close to both of our offices. I thought you’d be happy.” His head tilted to the side as he considered her staunch silence.

  “You thought I’d be happy?” she rounded on him. “Happy that you’ve just decided where we’re going to live without even asking me? Shit, Adam, you can’t keep doing this to me.” Her anger spilled over, and Adam’s face fell as he heard it.

  “I can’t keep doing what to you?”

  “You can’t keep springing these huge, life changing decisions on me without talking to me first.” She spread her hand around the apartment.

  “What are you even talking about? What do I keep springing on you?” His frustration began leaking through, and he glared at her.

  “You can’t keep dropping these bombs on me. First you ask me to move in with you, right out of the blue. Then you just up and propose, completely blindsiding me. And now you’ve found us an apartment and planned out our whole future, and you haven’t once talked to me about any of it. This is my life, too, and I should at least get a say in what comes of it!”

  She turned and stormed out of the apartment, completely bypassing the excited realtor outside the door, and pounded the button for the elevator. She was a little worried that Adam would follow her, and was relieved when he didn’t. She needed some space. She felt like everything was closing in on her and she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t deal with Adam and all his plans and secret scheming. She had to get out. Quickly hailing a cab, she headed for home.

  If Bri expected Adam to have gotten over their little argument by the time he came to pick her up for Becks’ party that night, she was sorely disappointed.

  In lieu of a greeting, he marched into her apartment when she opened the door and turned on her.

  “What is wrong with me wanting to find us an apartment? What is so horrible about wanting to start planning our future?” His eyes were smoldering in frustrated anger, and Bri realized that this was the maddest she’d ever seen him. Part of her marveled amusedly at that, while the other part rose defensively to meet his anger.

  “What’s wrong with making huge decisions like that without even consulting me first?” she spat back at him, still spoiling for a fight herself. “If you can’t figure that out, then there’s no help for you.” She finished slipping on her shoes and grabbed her purse.

  “Well, I would like to include you in these kinds of decisions, but you refuse to even broach the subject.” He followed her out the door and down the stairs. “Almost four weeks we’ve been engaged, Bri. Four weeks, and not once have you even mentioned our engagement, let alone our wedding or anything that comes after that. You’ve avoided that subject like the plague for weeks, and then you get angry with me for having to take matters into my own hands.”

  “You didn’t just take matters into your own hands, you decided our whole future without me.” She glared back at him.

  “That’s not what I did,” he threw his hand
s up in frustration. “I made an appointment to go look at an apartment. That’s it. I didn’t sign a lease, or buy furniture, or introduce myself to the neighbors. We don’t even have to take that place. But if I don’t step in and start thinking about things like where we’re going to live after we get married, we’re going to end up still in our separate apartments because you can’t be bothered to care!”

  “What?” she gaped at him, so angry that he was trying to turn this around on her. “This isn’t the time or place for this discussion.” She wrenched open the door of the waiting cab. “We have a party to go to. The rest of this will have to wait until later.”

  “Oh, no it won’t.” He climbed in after her and the cab sped away. “There you go again, avoiding the subject of us getting married. Why are you so averse to talking about our future?”

  “Adam,” she warned with a glance at the driver. “Not the place.”

  “No, you’re not getting out of this that easily. Answer my question. Why do you refuse to talk about us getting married?” He eyed her, waiting for her response.

  She flicked one more look at the cab driver, who was at least pretending not to eavesdrop, and sighed angrily.

  “You want to do this here? Fine. I’m still trying to catch up from you dropping a marriage proposal on me, in front of all my friends may I remind you, without even a hint that you were thinking about it beforehand. We’d never even talked about it, and then you just go and propose like it’s nothing. Then you spring apartment hunting on me, again without any kind of warning. I can’t keep up with you. And you wonder why I’m so upset?”

  “Really?” he looked at her incredulously. “That’s your defense? That still doesn’t answer my question, though. Why do you refuse to acknowledge that you did in fact accept that proposal that I supposedly just sprang on you? It almost seems like you don’t really want to marry me.” He froze, his eyes growing wide as understanding dawned. “Do you not want to marry me, Bri?” he asked softly.