Unfinished

by Shae Scott

  Chapter Two

  Later that night Cassie and I were sitting at our usual table at Clancy’s bar drinking wine with one of our closest girlfriends. It was our weekly tradition. It was the perfect way to unwind and catch up on the week’s gossip.

  “So, I had a blast from the past today,” I offered up sipping on Cabernet.

  “Ooh…do tell,” my friend Monica urged¸ pushing her bouncing blond curls back. She was a reporter for the local news station and was gorgeous.

  “Well, I got a Facebook message from an old high school friend. Owen Brooks” I said, throwing a pointed look over at Cassie. As predicted she nearly choked on the sip of wine she was taking. “No shit,” she said.

  I laughed. Cassie knew all about my old obsession with Owen. It had still been fresh when we had met back in college. “Yeah. Can you believe it?” I asked.

  “Who is Owen?” Monica asked intrigued by Cassie’s reaction to my news. She had a nose for a good story and she could smell one now.

  “Owen Brooks is the boy who got away,” Cassie said excitedly. “He was a bad boy with a reputation for breaking hearts. Our girl, Ally, was his best friend and hopelessly in love with him”

  “I wasn’t in love with him!” I protested. “I just thought he was a good guy. Granted he was a little misunderstood, maybe, but he was a really good guy. I miss him,” I said a little too dreamily.

  Monica giggled. “So how come you never jumped into his line of ladies?” she asked.

  “Oh there was no way. We were really good friends. I was dating another boy anyway. And Owen was never with one girl for very long. He got bored easy. I didn’t want to be one of his conquests,” I admitted taking another sip of my wine.

  “But you did make out with him that night after graduation,” Cassie pointed out. Man, I really had told her everything back in the day.

  “I did. It was at a party. We were both a little tipsy and it just happened. I actually never saw him again after that,” I admitted. I could remember that night so well. Once again, I could feel the 17 year old me sitting up a little straighter. I smiled at the memory before shaking it from my mind.

  “You never saw him again?” Monica asked

  “Nope. We went to different colleges and just lost touch. It happens.” I shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal, but I felt the tug of regret that still lingered there.

  “But he tried to get in touch with you,” Cassie pointed out. It’s true. When I had started college he had gotten in touch with a mutual friend to pass along his new number. I never used it. I never reached out. I’m not sure why. I was nervous after our last night together and just couldn’t bring myself to call. The days went by and then it was just too late.

  “It just never worked out,” I said, lost in the regret that was that one moment of indecision. It’s funny how life works. You pause too long and life just leaves you behind.

  “But now he’s contacting you again,” Monica said, raising her eyebrows mischievously. “What did he say? Did you write him back?”

  “He just said we should be friends again. I wrote back that we should. It’s nothing. I’m sure we’ll just get caught up on the last 10 years and then we’ll slip back into oblivion again. But it’s fun.” I wasn’t about to admit that the whole thing made my heart beat a little faster. But the idea of getting in touch with Owen again made me feel the long forgotten flutters of butterflies.

  “I think it’s sweet,” Cassie sighed. “You never know what can happen,” she said.

  “Cas, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I mean we are both very different people than we were back then. But I’m interested in seeing what he has been up to.”

  “Is he married? Did you find anything out about him from his profile?” Monica asked.

  I shake my head. “No. There wasn’t much information. It did say that he is in Chicago now though. So he doesn’t live anywhere nearby. So I think it’s safe to say that nothing will come of it. But I will say this….he is…hot.” I could admit it.

  “I gotta see this guy,” Monica said grabbing up her phone. I laughed as she started to navigate to find him. It only took her a few minutes to pull up his picture on her screen. “Oh wow…Ally….he is a Hottie. Man. I think I would have gladly become one of his conquests,” She laughed as Cassie and I leaned over to take a peek.

  “Oh, yeah, he grew up well,” Cassie agreed. I looked at the picture again. This time I saw more of the old Owen. It was there in the eyes especially. That kindness mixed with a bit of dangerous trouble. But he was definitely all man now. I am pretty sure his ability to break hearts had gone up a few notches since I’d last seen him. I settled back into my chair and for a moment I wondered what it would be like to see him again.

  Later that night as I was putting on my pjs and getting ready for bed, I found myself thinking about Owen. It was so hard to wrap my head around who he might be now. In my mind he was still just Owen. I smiled at the image my mind conjured up whenever I thought about him. I had always thought he was good looking. Then again, most of the girls back in high school would have agreed with me. He was tall. Back then he was just past lanky, his body still trying to catch up with his height. Even so, he had been strong with lean muscles. I had listened to many girls swoon over him. He had eyes that had a way of staring straight into you. It was always a little unnerving. It was what made so many girls putty in his very capable hands. Mostly what made him so attractive, at least to me, was less definable. There was just something about him. It was in the way that he carried himself. He was confident. He was smart. Girls would line up to be his next conquest and guys all wanted to be his best friend. Or maybe they just wanted to be around to claim his cast offs.

  Things with me and Owen had always been easy. We could talk for hours about anything. By the time that we graduated I felt like he knew me better than just about anyone else. We had seen each other through lots of stuff. When my grandmother had died I had cried against his shoulder. When Chris Johnson had tried to cop a feel at homecoming and then told everyone we’d had sex in the bathroom, Owen had kicked his ass. When I started dating Brendon Morrow, he had given him the third degree like my big brother. When Brendon broke up with me after graduation, he had been there to assure me I was better off. He had also been there to give me lots of beer and dance with me all night.

  I sighed at the memory. That was the night we’d ventured away from our strict lines of friendship. The memory was still bittersweet. I had replayed that night so many times in my head. It was the last time I had seen him. The last time I’d even talked to him. I had often wondered what would have happened if I had taken that phone call the next day or if I had called him when he’d tried to track me down. I pushed it from my head, as I pulled my hair into a bun on the top of my head. I was spending way too much time thinking about this. I needed sleep.

  Chapter Three

  OWEN - PAST

  The afternoon sun was starting to sink into the sky as I headed out to the lake. I needed to clear my head. When I’d gone home after school I hadn’t expected to see mom’s new boyfriend there, sitting on our couch. I don’t know why it bothered me. He seemed nice enough and it’s not like I wanted her to be alone, but seeing him there like he belonged had touched a nerve. Maybe part of me was worried that he would end up hurting her. She’d dated off and on over the years after my dad had skipped town, but it never lasted. When I was younger I’d thought it was me. No one wanted the bonus kid. But now that I was older, I accepted that it was more than that. Relationships don’t work. All they do is set you up for hurt. It was just an inevitable truth. Honestly, I was glad I had figured this out now. I had no fancy hopes about the whole thing. I’ve seen the ending too many times. Not worth it.

  So, when I realized that mom wasn’t around I’d left. I didn’t want to sit around and make small talk with Steve. I didn’t want to be rude, so I faked a school club meeting and hit the road.

  I pulled up to the open field that overlooked the lake an
d parked my old truck. As I shut the engine off, I noticed her sitting on fallen branch looking out across the water. It was Ally. I was just getting to know her. I liked her. A lot. Since we’d met a couple of months ago we had formed a quiet friendship. She was easy to talk to and I thought she was funny as hell. If I spotted her at a party I was sure to make my way over to her. I couldn’t explain it, but there was something about her. I just wanted to be around her. She was positive energy and I wanted to soak it up.

  I got out of the cab and walked down towards her. I don’t know if she even noticed, she didn’t turn around. I was surprised to see her here, especially all alone. I had mentioned once that I came out here sometimes, but I had never seen her here before.

  I moved closer, but she was still focused on the water. “Ally,” I spoke quietly, I didn’t want to startle her. She didn’t jump, but she turned to look at me. I stopped short when I saw her face. Her cheeks were glistening with fallen tears. I wondered what had made her so sad. But what really hit me was the look in her eyes. Her expression was blank, lost. It was as if she couldn’t even focus on me. “Ally, are you okay?” That far away look she had was scaring me.

  “I stole your place,” she said quietly. I looked at her, confused. “Your place. You said you come here to think. I…I needed a place. I took yours,” she shrugged and bit her lip nervously.

  “No problem. You can come here anytime. Why don’t you tell me what happened?” I sat down beside her on the fallen tree trunk and waited for her to tell me what was going on. My insides were tight, I was worried about her. Her sadness was cutting me and it was uncomfortable.

  She took a long moment and I thought she wasn’t going to answer me. “My Grandma. She’s gone. It happened this morning.” Her voice was soft. It didn’t break, but it didn’t have to. The emotion behind her words hit me like a brick. I felt for this girl.

  “I’m sorry.” I sounded like an idiot. What a stupid generic thing to say. I searched for something better, but I had nothing. Ally just continued to look ahead, her hands in her lap as she slowly twiddled her thumbs. If the moment would allow me, I would think that was super adorable. I shook the thought away.

  “It’s okay. I mean, I’m being silly. It’s just a part of life. It happens to all of us. And she’s been sick for awhile. I probably should have been preparing myself for it, but I wasn’t.” She took a deep breath.

  “You aren’t silly. It’s never wrong to mourn someone that you love,” I offered. She looked over at me and gave me a weak smile.

  “I was really close to her. My whole life she and my granddad took care of me. I mean, I am close with my parents, but they were kind of my safe place. My home. Now they are both gone. I feel lost. And everyone around me keeps saying that it’s for the best, and I guess it is, but it’s like…” She trailed off as if trying to pick out the right words. I let her. “I’m the emotional one in my family. I’m the one who cries at hallmark commercials and brings home stray kittens. Everyone else is always so strong. It’s like they just take what’s given to them and they move forward, ya know? She was the only other one like me. She was my kindred spirit. She got me. She understood me when no one else did and now she’s gone and I don’t know how to be strong about it. Everyone keeps looking at me like I am going to crumble, so I keep pushing forward and trying to be strong and reasonable about it.” She looks over at me and the tears start to fill her eyes again. “But I want to crumble. I need to crumble, because I love her and she’s gone and she’s not coming back and I don’t know how to deal with that.” Her words run together quickly, she barely takes a breath. I feel her pain settling in around us as she begins to cry and my heart breaks into a thousand pieces for her.

  I pull her into me and hold her and let her cry against my shoulder. I don’t speak, but I run my fingers through her hair and try to comfort her. I let her cry, this girl I barely know, but feel something so genuine for. I have this need to fix things for her and it’s something I have never really felt before.

  When she is cried out she sniffs and moves back. I lay my hands over hers in her lap and try to catch her gaze. “You don’t have to be strong with this,” I tell her. She chews on her lip nervously. “You feel what you have to feel. That’s how you do this. There are no rules; there is no time limit on your grief. You need to cry, you cry. You need to yell, you yell. You do whatever you feel you have to do. Don’t bend for them. Don’t let them tell you that you are weak,” I said.

  She took a deep breath. “I miss her so much already.” Her words were soft.

  “I know,” I said. I wasn’t going to brush away her pain. I was just so glad that I’d come here today. I was glad to be the one that she was opening up to about this. Sure, it was probably by default, but I was here and she was talking and that was enough.

  “We used to watch the sunset together,” she smiled turning back towards the lake. The sun was beginning to sink and it cast a fire show across the water. “We would have dinner and then before we did the dishes we would go out to the porch swing and we would talk and watch the sun go down. That is one of my favorite memories. When my Granddad died, I would make a special point to watch as many sunsets with her as I could. She would tell me how much she missed him and tell me stories about when they were young. I guess now at least they can watch them together again,” she said.

  We went quiet and watched the sun’s final decent. I didn’t want to break this moment for her. I stole a glance at her and even in the sadness and the tears I saw how beautiful she was. She was pure and sweet and I had no idea why she was trusting me with this, but I knew I didn’t want to let her down.

  Three days later I stood in Ally’s grandmother’s foyer with a bunch of strangers. Why had I been compelled to come to the funeral and the reception? I had no flipping clue. But I knew that I had to be here. I thought about her, worrying that she wouldn’t be strong enough, afraid she would crumble in front of all of these people when she wanted to be so strong. I guess I just felt like I needed to be here in case she needed back up.

  I hoped she didn’t think I was a big creeper. I kind of felt like it, standing here in the corner with a cocktail napkin full of cheese and crackers and a suit that was a size too small. I was a creeper. I thought about leaving, but then I spotted her coming out of the kitchen carrying a casserole dish. She was wearing a simple black dress that flared at her knees. There was a yellow ribbon around her waist, a touch of sunshine in this sea of dark. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail and it made her look young, vulnerable. I watched as she put the dish on the table with the other food and looked around. She reminded me of a deer in the headlights, a hint of that blank look on her face again.

  I moved towards her and just as I got to her two men came up to her and started asking if she knew what was going to happen to the car and the house. She stared at them, eyes wide, as her fingers tugged at the ends of the ribbon at her waist.

  “Um...uh..” She searched for words to answer them, but I could see the pain on her face. She was fighting tears and her teeth sunk into her lip. I stepped forward and grabbed her hand.

  “There you are, Ally. I need you to help me find a light bulb.” I pulled her away from the men and into the other room. Once we were out of sight I turned and looked at her. “Is there someplace we can go, a spare room or something?” I asked. She looked up at me with big confused eyes. I shook my head. “Just so you can get away for a bit,” I said, realizing it sounded like I was propositioning her.

  “Oh. Yeah, I have a room here. It’s upstairs.” She made her way past me to the stairs and I followed her up. I glanced around to make sure no one was around. The last thing I wanted to do was cause her problems for sneaking upstairs with some random guy in tow.

  She led me into a room at the end of the hall and I shut the door behind us. The room was bright, with lots of light coming in from the big picture window. There was a twin bed in the middle with an old quilt and an old dresser on the other wall with a m
irror. I noticed there were lots of photographs taped to it. You could hardly find a place for a reflection for all of the photos. I took a quick glance at them.

  Ally went and sat on the edge of the bed and took a deep breath. “Thanks for getting me out of there,” she said, studying me as I leaned against the dresser.

  “No problem. I didn’t figure you wanted to be having that conversation,” I shrugged.

  “No. I wish they would all just leave. I am tired of making small talk and listening to everyone ramble on. I just want to be alone,” she huffed.

  “I can leave,” I said making for the door. I should have known I was intruding. What was I thinking? I really shouldn’t be here.

  “NO!” It almost came out like a yell and I jumped. “Sorry. I just mean, don’t go. I didn’t mean that I wanted you to leave,” she said quietly.

  “Okay,” I agreed. I wasn’t sure what to do.

  “Come sit with me,” she said patting the bed beside her. I moved towards her and sat down next to her. The bed was old and the springs gave a squeak of protest at our weight. “Why did you come today?” she asked.

  I hadn’t expected this question. I guess that I should have. Why had I come here? Because I felt like I needed to be here. There was a pull that just brought me. I couldn’t say that. She’d think I was nuts.

  “I thought you might need a moment to crumble,” I offered quietly.

  She looked up at me, her big saucer brown eyes filling up.

  “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me,” she said.

  I gave her a smile. I didn’t believe that, but it felt good to hear it. “Look, I know we are just getting to know each other, but you need someone to listen or for anything…you’ve got me,” I said. I meant it.