Affliction

by Daniels, Dottie

  Mia put a lot of effort into giving me all the necessary details. For that effort, I would give this the best shot I had. Come nightfall, I would be ready. I would follow the instructions exactly and within forty miles or so, I would again be in a safe place. I told Mia that I intended on seeing her and the doctor again. It was hard to realize that this could be the last time that I would see them both. I owed it to humanity to try and bring us back from the brink of extinction––it freaked me out to even acknowledge our dire state.

  The rest of the morning went by in a routine manner. I told Mia that I didn’t want anything to minimize the pain because I wanted to be alert. Instead of spending the day intermittently sleeping, I spent a lot of time looking out of the window, rehearsing different scenarios in my mind and trying to resolve them before they became realistic. Mia arrived in her usual timing and added a few extra items to the bag, including the painkillers I would’ve normally taken. She also dropped in a stethoscope, a digital timer watch, and a few alcohol pads she forgot to include earlier. I understood that I would need to keep track of these in case it took longer than three hours to get there. Though it shouldn’t take more than an hour, there was no harm in being prepared for a delay.

  When lunchtime arrived, I felt the need for more nutrition. It was as if they sensed my craving for vegetables as I received a half of a plate of carrots and celery with salad dressing and ginger ale. I tried to eat as much of it as possible thinking that it would maybe even help my complexion to gain a little healthier color as well as for energy later on. Dr. Chavan as well as Dr. Strauss came up to the room soon after. I knew right away when they walked in that the game was still on because of the obvious non-truths that were being reported.

  “She’s been tolerating her current dose of antiviral and Demerol well today,” he said, even though I had already gone two times without pain medication.

  Dr. Strauss looked me over, seemingly satisfied with my improvements. I managed to sit on the couch and pretend to be exhausted when instead internally I was revving up for the evening. My pain was slowly starting to return but I wasn’t about to let it spoil the occasion. It felt like my muscles were becoming extremely sore but it was subtler this time. I purposefully chose not to say anything because for starters, I was a terrible liar. The first time she asked me something, I was sure I’d have to cover my eyes; they would probably give it all away. The two chatted about my uncle and how he was making a lot of connections with other centers that were on this newly set-up survivor’s database that was partially electronic and partially on paper and circulated throughout the area. This was exciting to hear and gave me a great deal of hope. Though I tried not to perk up at the positive development, my full attention was clinging to every word she had to say.

  By nightfall, I was nearly boiling over in anticipation and pacing the floor of the medium sized room. Mia told me the plan was to leave at nightfall but she didn’t say exactly when. When I wasn’t pacing, I spent a lot of time at the narrow window looking out of it, searching. It was as if that window’s view to the outside had all the answers to my questions. Graham’s arrival to my room would signal everything’s good to go I was told, so by the third time the door opened for various other reasons I was about ready to have a heart attack.

  One of the newcomers to this room in particular was someone I was already acquainted with. Ruben, the janitor from the main building pulled his cart into my room, humming some slow but familiar tune in the process. We greeted each other with warm smiles, though he waited until the door was fully closed before he spoke.

  “How are you, sweetheart? Oh, don’t mind them, they’re bored and nosey as hell,” he said of the armed personnel that preceded him into the room but was now gone to his post right outside the door.

  “I’m doing better now, Ruben, thanks,” I said.

  “I heard you had it rough there for a while but you’re tough, everyone can see that—you’re still here,” he said in an assuring tone.

  I wish I felt as confident as he sounded.

  “I’ve seen better days but you’re right, I’m still here,” I agreed.

  “Well for now you are,” he responded with a sly look in his eyes.

  This struck me as an odd reaction from him until he reached under the shelves of his cart, pulled out a large plastic bag and handed it to me.

  “I had to do something for you––it’s nothing special. I understand you’re leaving tonight,” he mumbled in a low tone.

  My mouth dropped in surprise as I took the bag, opened it and looked at its contents. Inside there was a pair of jeans, a blue T-shirt and a matching hooded zip-up sweatshirt.

  “Thank you so much for these! They’re the right size and everything! So you know too, huh?” I said with a mix of excitement and concern. I didn’t pause as I put the shirt and pants up to my body and legs, satisfied that it was a perfect match to my size.

  “I told you, you remind me of my niece. Unfortunately, I haven’t heard from her to find out if she’s okay. They were supposed to be a gift for her birthday last week but we all have much bigger problems now,” he said with sadness and regret in his voice.

  I immediately insisted that he take them back because even under the grave circumstances, I hoped he would find his niece and give these items to her like he originally intended. Through some miracle I hoped we all would recover from this event and find everyone we loved alive and well. After a few seconds of further debate and his absolute stance, I kept the clothes and thanked him heartily. I gave him a hug that he did not recoil from. Come to think of it, his mannerisms reminded me of my mother’s cousin, Larry. He was also similar in stature and personality; the way they made you feel like you’d known them for years after only a few conversations. Ruben smiled at me but I could see the concern in his eyes as well. Concern was something that we all had because everything that came our way was new at this point. Ruben looked me in my eyes and after the few seconds it took for me to figure he was probably able to see the blood that had broken through my irises, I turned away. It scared me to have someone else afraid of what I had no control over.

  “I know you’re good, Seanna. You wouldn’t hurt anyone on purpose; it’s okay, sweetheart. That’s part of the reason why I’m going to help you get out of here,” he said.

  I didn’t want him, or anyone for that matter, to risk his own safety as he’d done more than enough for me already. I shook my head about to remind him of all the perfectly good reasons why he shouldn’t be a part of my departure efforts. For starters, if you weren’t infected and part of your uncle’s seemingly ulterior motives, this was a safe place. There was food, shelter and protection that no doubt only a few in the population outside of law enforcement and military had access to. I wasn’t even remotely aware of any places like this before coming here and chances are, I would’ve been a dead one by now anyway—or a pile of human remains, either way. When they found me I was already in the middle of a fight to the death with a dead one in Graham’s living room that left me with gaping bite wound on my forearm. Because of the circumstances, it continues to be truly in your own best interest to be concerned with your own safety and only those closest to you. From what I’ve heard, other people weren’t taking half the chance outside of this place. Here it was Ruben––this kind-hearted man was throwing himself right in the middle of harm’s way to help get me out of here.

  “I know it doesn’t look like it, but I’ve been preparing myself for what’s outside of here. I don’t want it on my conscience to have you hurt or worse because of things that have nothing to do with you. Ruben, I’m sorry, I can’t have that,” I apologized.

  He looked at me with no reaction in his face and simply said, “It’s my choice, believe me.”

  The door opened almost without either of us noticing. The conversation was so intense for me; I felt I had to convince this kind man that I didn’t want him hurt. Mia should’ve been done with her shift for the night but she walked in and Graham was right
behind her. We all exchanged glances and smiled but when I saw Graham we both ran up and hugged each other again. Seeing him again never got old with me. He kissed my cheek and held me for a longer than usual. I said nothing and only nodded my head as he whispered in my ear, asking if I was okay and if I was ready.

  At this point I was ready as I’d ever be.

  I wished I could pay more attention to what Mia and Ruben were discussing. The two took the brief opportunity and stood off to the side, talking in low tones to each other while Graham inquired about the bag of medications and supplies that even he was warned we should never part with. I brought it to him and he quickly inspected the inside, nodded, seemingly satisfied with the contents. I noticed his fresh change of clothes and his now slightly darker, sun-kissed skin. He reached in his pocket and threw a couple of items into the bag. He smiled when I commented on his newly acquired tan. It was an ongoing joke between us. I’d always say we looked more like siblings than a couple when he spent a lot of time outside in the sun. Right now I realized that the joke wasn’t as funny this time because now it was me who still looked pale, almost whiter than he was––for a very different reason.

  “I’m going to go get ready,” I said as I took the bag Ruben gave me and headed into the bathroom. The shoes I had were sufficient but when I returned there was another slightly used pair of New Balance running shoes on the bed. I asked no questions and quickly put them on as Mia now talked with Graham. I hurried to hear what she was saying. By now Ruben had already left the room.

  “Okay, you should have everything you need in that bag. Everywhere you go, this goes with you, even though I suppose it’s equally important that you make it to the university in one piece,” Mia said as she held up the bag.

  Graham put his arm behind my back. I could feel his hand settle at my waist. Knowing him, it was his non-verbal way of assuring me we were going to make it to our destination. Mia went over the instructions one last time about the medication schedule and the timer. She had another dose ready to give me right now and I took off the hoodie and exposed my upper arm for the shot. Graham immediately walked over to the bag, retrieved the timer and set the alarm to go off in three and a half hours. Mia told us that the Princeton lab was expecting us to arrive sometime tonight though she didn’t provide them an exact time. Once we were on our way she’d try and let them know but she couldn’t promise anything because of her obvious expected involvement in the search efforts here. It made perfect sense because she would be one of the last people to see me before her shift change, so of course my uncle and whoever else would want to talk to her.

  While she was sharing this information I realized the juxtaposition she was now in because of her involvement with Dr. Chavan. He would have to question her and possibly put on quite a show to pretend to be unaware of the situation. Again, here was another individual who would have to take a great risk to see that I make it out of here. Mia handed me a keycard that belonged to another employee I was unfamiliar with. She also handed one to Graham that had the name of a different employee. She told us to use them both intermittently once we left here so it would be harder to track either of them should things progress more quickly than expected.

  Lastly, Mia gave us both a quick hug because the next time she saw us, if ever again, things would be hurried. She wished us the best of luck and I tried not to be sad about leaving her. I thanked her again and again for everything she did. She gave me a playful wink and smiled but changed her tone immediately as she opened the door and hurried out of sight to get away from the area and back to wherever she’d normally be at this time of night. Graham thanked her in return for everything and promised some sort of reciprocation when the opportunity availed itself. She then disappeared behind the closing door with Ruben following. We were now alone as Graham carefully took my hand and guided me back to the couch.

  For a few seconds there was silence as we sat together and my pale little fingers carefully caressed his back.

  “Are you okay? I don’t know about you but I’m nervous as hell right now,” I said, exhaling with a little nervous chuckle.

  “We’ve all had better days. We’re gonna get there safely, Sea,” he said.

  “Neither of us has been out there since we came here. How many days ago was that? What if things are really out of hand now? What if we break down somewhere and get trapped? What if we get separated? What if something happens that causes me to miss the injection on time? I don’t want to flip out again,” I rambled on to him.

  “We can’t worry about what we have no control over, Sea. I know it’s gonna be bad out there. We’ll do what we need to; one thing at a time, we’ll deal with it,” he said.

  “I haven’t had any pain medication at all today. I want a clear head for whatever we encounter out there. Funny thing is, I think my adrenaline and nerves are keeping it at bay,” I told him, knowing he was about to make a fuss over it. He started to object when I carefully grabbed his hand and put it up to my heart. He paused in silence to feel my heartbeat.

  “This is still working. It’s slow I know, and it hurts a lot. I won’t lie but I’m gonna make sure we both get there safely,” I spoke to him. My heartbeat was still present. Weak as it was, it still existed. I had chills and my extremities were impossibly cold since I came here. Painful as it was, I could handle all of those symptoms, it was becoming a dead one that I couldn’t handle.

  “I don’t like the idea of you being in so much pain during all of this, Sea, but I understand you wanting to be alert,” he said it in a way that I could tell he was assuring his self at the same time.

  He wasn’t far from the truth either. I was starting to hurt like a son of a bitch. Feeling some distress, I was even beginning to have slight cold sweats. The time for our departure couldn’t have come at a better or worse time no matter how I looked at it. Raging inside was an even more counterproductive desire. Like a subliminal message, the urge to kiss and do much more to Graham hovered in my mind––it was like a rash. It could’ve been a mix of adrenaline or memory of much better times when often we were free to be together and enjoy the world in each other’s company. Sitting beside him, seeing his neckline and looking at his forearms of his rolled up shirt diverted my attention for a little moment.

  I was about to say something to Graham in the context of his attractive arms when the lights flickered a few times then went off for about thirty seconds. The room went from being sufficiently lit, to complete darkness. The outside offered no help as the outside lights went out as well. I clenched Graham’s arm, feeling his muscles tense at the same instance. We both shot up from where we were sitting. In my hesitation to let go of him, I stumbled over to the window to get a look though unfortunately I never had much of a view to begin with. As usual, there wasn’t anything but trees and brush in either direction. The lights came back on briefly for about thirty seconds during which we both appeared stunned and were listening out for whatever we could. There was some yelling in the distance by what seemed to be a few male voices. Since we were both locked in this room together the outside noise put us on alert, as it was all we had to depend on for the time being.

  Graham rushed to the other side of the room to grab the bag of medications when the door opened and Louise came in. She looked around, seeing Graham and I as being the only ones in the room and motioned for us both to follow her. Once we were outside of the room, she closed the door and we took an immediate right turn to the end of a short hallway, through a door and down a stairwell. She double-checked to make sure we had the keycards.

  “Alright guys, this is it. Once we get to the door down here you will need the keycards to get out, they both should still work. You can use yours first, Graham. Seanna, you should use yours next to get into the garage area after you go outside and take a right and then head straight toward the garages like Mia told you,” Louise instructed quickly.

  “Got it,” Graham said as we both followed behind Louise and occasionally looked behind us to m
ake sure no one followed as we marched down two flights of stairs to the main level.

  The lights went off again as we got to the exit door. From the hallway the only visible lights came from the emergency flood lights that were in the hallways beyond the doors of the stairwell, which only partially illuminated the small area we were in. Louise motioned for Graham to come up. He reached in his pocket and had the keycard out in no time. “I see this works both ways,” he said, referring to getting in and getting out of the buildings. “Louise, thank you for your help,” I said as I stood in front of her and then got behind Graham. I put one hand on the backside of his waist and the other on the bag, which hung in the grip of Graham’s hand.

  “I pray you two make it there safely.” She hesitated slightly before backing away from us and the door and stepped back a few paces to stand on the bottom stair. When the lights flickered back on again signaling the electricity was on again, Graham swiped the keycard. The door handle twisted freely as he cracked the door open, checking nearby us for any movement. The darkness offered no help but it was possible to see the outline of the nearest building, which was about seventy or eighty feet away. He crept outside as Louise immediately headed back upstairs. Before she made it halfway up the first flight, I spoke out to her quietly.

  “Louise, where are you going to go now?”

  She froze mid-flight, with her hand on the banister she turned around and replied in a loud whisper, “I’m going back to the desk area. I don’t know you’re gone yet!” Louise then turned and kept on up the stairs as I saw her body and feet disappear out of my view. Graham tugged at my arm, which reminded me of our more difficult task ahead—getting to the garage undetected. Beyond that were even more difficult and strenuous things. I peeked outside of the doorway for myself and saw the next building off in the distance.