A Secret Courage

by Tricia Goyer

  Vera shook her head. “I don’t think you should be in the middle of it. You just need to walk away. Don’t see him again. He’ll just bring you down with him.”

  Emma rubbed her forehead, wishing she could rub away the knowledge she’d just discovered.

  She stepped back from Vera, holding up her hands. “Listen, I need to go. I have to go back to work, and I need time to think.”

  Without waiting for a response, Emma picked up the box of photos and hurried out of the archive area and down the hallway, wishing there was a place to run. But where could she go? How could she ever make sense of this? She’d given out vital information to the one person she never should have trusted.

  “Emma. There you are. I’ve been looking for you over the last couple of days, but I haven’t seen you around.” The voice met her first, and then Berndt stepped into the hall.

  Emma pressed her lips into a smile. “I really don’t have time now. Maybe we can talk later?”

  He placed a hand on her arm, grasping it, squeezing harder than expected. “This will only take a moment. Remember how Vera mentioned the earthworks to you? Well, I’ve been looking into it. It’s fascinating, really. Danesfield House, as it turns out, was an old site of defensive works. Dane’s Ditches, it was called. Dane’s, from the Celtic word meaning ‘fortified hill,’ not from Danish settlers, as so many believe.” He’d placed emphasis on the word fortified.

  Tears rimmed the lower lids of her eyes. “I’m sorry. I really don’t have time for this.”

  Berndt stepped back. His eyes narrowed, and she wasn’t sure if it was worry or humor in his gaze. “Yes, yes…I’m so sorry. But if you have free time tomorrow, I’d like to show you. The earthworks extend all the way from the cliff to the side of the house.” He chuckled. “If we ever need to defend ourselves from invaders on the river, I know where we could go. The wall is nearly twenty feet high in some places, hidden in the woods now. The perfect camouflage.”

  “Maybe some other time.” And with those words she headed back up the stairs.

  “I thought I knew him…” she whispered to herself, and then she laughed at her own naïveté. Who could really know anyone in this war?

  I thought he loved me. Emotions fought for space in her mind and heart.

  Of all the men she could have fallen for, why did it have to be him?

  Emma carried the box of photos to the workroom, but as she approached she noticed Edward standing there. From the look in her eyes she knew Georgette had told him what she’d done. She told Edward that I divulged top security information to Will. Shame flooded over her, and she paused before him.

  “Emma, I’ll take the box.”

  She handed it to him, and he in turn handed it to Georgette, who stood just inside the door. Georgette looked at the box, but she refused to meet Emma’s gaze. The door closed behind her.

  Edward pointed down the hall. “I need you to follow me.”

  Emma’s footsteps echoed on the wood floor, but her heart pounded even harder. He was taking her to the commander’s office, and Emma had no doubt that from this moment her job here was over. The question was how long she’d be imprisoned for, especially when they discovered Will was a German spy.

  She took a deep breath as she entered the office and sat down in the chair.

  Colonel Richardson leaned across the desk. She knew him from all the work she’d done on the secret weapons project, but she’d never seen such anger in his gaze.

  “Miss Hanson. It has been brought to our attention that you’ve been passing information to a known enemy…”

  “Sir, he wasn’t known to me…” she started but then stopped again.

  Edward tensed in the seat beside her.

  “For the last five months we’ve had MI5 paying close attention to us. It seems vital information has been leaking out.”

  For five months?

  “Locations of future bombing raids. Copies of photographs. It seems some of the secret weapons projects were moved to new locations because the Germans realized we were on to them.”

  “Sir, no. That was not me. Not five months. It was only last week—”

  “Do you know a Will Fletcher?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “We’ve talked to some of your coworkers. They believe he is a spy.”

  Emma swallowed hard. Her hands gripped the arm rest. “They…they might be right, but I promise you, sir, I have not been leaking that information. I only told Will of the bombing in Kassel because I knew he had family there. I never revealed anything before that. It has to have been someone else.”

  “Of course you want to cast blame, but why should I believe you?” His tone was harsh. “You admit that you shared classified information. You have access to all the information I mentioned. And you admit even now the man you have been seeing could possibly be a spy.”

  Emma knew it was no use to argue. The colonel leaned forward, resting his arms on his desk.

  “A security force has been sent to arrest your boyfriend, Will Fletcher. We saw him wandering around the woods near the river, but he escaped. Upon further inspection, we found the material for bombs in a garden shed. We’ve had security watching him for a while. We called Recording London, and they admitted he used to teach in Germany. And recently his passport and other materials were discovered in our archives. I’m afraid he planned to blow up the whole place.”

  “Blow up?” Emma’s heartbeat quickened. All her worst fears crashed around her and pierced her heart like shards of glass. “I…I don’t want to believe it.”

  He continued. “You have access to top secret information, and you have been entrusted with highly sensitive material. You could be arrested for treason.”

  “I was only worried for his family. I promise, I never—”

  “How could we ever trust you again? The sad part is, out of all the WAAFs who’ve done so much for this war, your name would be at the top of the list.”

  More than anything Emma wanted to beg for another chance, but she knew it was no use. Her heart ripped in two, and it took all the strength in her not to crumble to the floor.

  “Where will I be sent?”

  “Home. To the United States. I can’t say where you will spend the rest of the war, but know that we are being lenient with you. If it wasn’t for the work you’ve already done…the way you’ve helped in finding the V-2s. It’s saved many lives. But your betrayal…”

  He didn’t finish. He didn’t have to. Her betrayal could cost lives. If Hitler knew where the next bombing targets were, the bombers would be flying into a slaughter.

  How could I have been so foolish?

  THIRTY-SIX

  September 5, 1943

  Will parked his automobile, and his chest was full and light as he walked up to the door of his cottage. He’d attempted to drive home the previous evening, but Millie had waved him down.

  “There have been two men watching your cottage all day. I wouldn’t drive up there if I were you. Do you know what they want?”

  Will had scratched his head. “I wish I didn’t know, Millie, but I have a feeling someone has mistaken me for someone else.” He’d sighed. “Thank you for telling me. Do you mind if I park in the alley behind your place?”

  “Only if you’ll come inside. I’ll make tea and you can explain what this misunderstanding is all about.”

  “It’s a war, Millie. And no one seems to trust anyone anymore. I’m afraid it’s as simple as that. I wouldn’t be too much trouble, would I? If I had to stay all night?” He winked. “We don’t want to start any rumors. I promise to be a perfect gentlemen.”

  “Psst.” She’d smiled big and waved a hand in the air. “I watch everyone, but no one pays attention to me. You are thankful I’m observant, aren’t you now?”

  “Yes.” He’d smiled. “I knew I could count on you from the moment I met you.”

  Will had waited and watched from Millie’s house until the security forces had left just after dawn. He supposed th
ey had given up, believing that he’d already left town for good. And as he’d waited, Will had plotted his next move.

  Now it was nearly morning, and the first light of dawn was filling the sky.

  Yesterday he’d gotten a call from Christopher, who asked him to meet at Dover. It seemed Bain had been someone Christopher had been watching too, and Will’s friend had been surprised by what the dark-haired man had found. Or rather whom he’d found.

  Tomorrow. He had permission to tell Emma the news tomorrow. He’d also been assured that backup would arrive the next day as well. With information provided by Will, Christopher had discovered that Berndt had not been working alone. Once the arrests were made, the whole place was going to be scoured for explosives. Within twenty-four hours Will would be able to reveal to Emma his true identity and his work with MI5. Finally he would be free to offer her his whole, undisguised heart. If only he could stay out of trouble himself until then. His guess was that whoever had found his passport and clothes had already planted them to make him look guilty. Berndt? Claudius? It was hard to know which enemy would be most troublesome these days.

  He used the key to open his cottage door. He closed the door and then moved to the light switch, but then he paused. Someone was there. The scent of aftershave filled his nostrils. He prepared to dart back out the door, but the click of a gun’s hammer cocking stopped him.

  “Do you really want to lose the use of your other arm too? Or maybe lose your life?”

  How had he snuck in when the security forces were there? Or had he made his move when Will had eaten a quick breakfast with Millie?

  The lantern flickered on and Berndt appeared, seated at the table. His gun was aimed at Will’s chest.

  Berndt took a sip from his coffee, pistol pointed. “I was waiting for you to find me, but I was really disappointed it took so long. I tried to be as obvious as possible. You had the whole of MI5 at your fingertips. Don’t be surprised, ja. I was watching you just as you were watching me. I assumed you would have figured out what I was up to sooner.” He clicked his tongue. “You should have known the first day when you didn’t hear from Albert. He was so faithful.”

  “Where did you find the body?”

  “Are you speaking of the man who rests in Albert’s grave? Just a bum, living on London’s streets. It was easy to befriend him.” Berndt took another sip of his coffee. “I don’t look quite the same as when you met me three years ago, do I?”

  “No. I can’t say you do.” Will attempted to look around, trying to find something to use as a weapon, but there was nothing in reach. If he couldn’t fight him with his hands, Will knew he’d have to use his brains. “So tell me, how did you think of the plan to disguise yourself in training so you could take on a new role here?” Will asked. “I have to admit that was pretty smart.”

  “I’m an actor … or at least I was in my first life. And a true actor never stops until he can pull off a role. As a child I loved Greek myths, and the story of the Trojan horse caught my attention. It seemed to me that a wooden horse wasn’t the only way to smuggle something.”

  “So you gained weight, adding on layers of personality, and moved to England?”

  “Genius, I know. I figured that during the war, changing my appearance by losing weight would be easier than by gaining it. When I was still in Germany I ate until I couldn’t eat any more.”

  “And when you got here?”

  “I brought a few props that made me still look as if I carried the weight.”

  “Albert by morning and Berndt by night. I’m not sure what to think of that.”

  “Doesn’t really matter what you think, does it? You just need to know that I’m ready for the final scene.”

  “The final scene?”

  “The one that levels Danesfield.”

  Will didn’t answer. He just waited for more. He knew the type of person Berndt was. He knew his ego wouldn’t allow him to keep quiet.

  “Don’t you wonder, Wilhelm, why no one has thought of this sooner? We try to shoot down bombers, we hit airfields…but that’s the same as aiming blindfold with a pellet gun. What is needed is to go for the head, the brains.”

  “Yes, I heard you say that before.” Will forced a smile to curl his lips, hoping it looked believable. “And you found your brain—Danesfield House.” Will cleared his throat. “But my question is, why are you waiting? Unless you have someone who will be joining you.” Claudius’s face filled Will’s mind.

  “You are finally catching on.” Berndt chuckled. “Yes, that’s exactly what I was waiting for. She’s been behind the scenes, but now she wants to be part of the show.”

  Berndt’s words hit Will like a punch to his stomach. Faces of women he knew flashed in his mind, and then it finally settled on one.

  “She…she is on her way?” Tension tightened his chest.

  “She should be arriving any minute. In fact, I hear a car now. That might be her.” Berndt’s eyes glowed in the lamplight, and then the door opened.

  Will gasped and sudden fear pounded through his mind. He had guessed this had been the case, but he’d tried to talk himself out of the truth. He stood, not caring that Berndt’s gun was still focused on him. “Ruth?”

  She strode inside with a confident tilt of her chin. “Ja, Will. I see you weren’t expecting me. Or should I say, Julian?”

  “What are you doing? How long have you been working with him?” More than anything he had to know the truth.

  “Vell, let me put it this way.” She let her accent seep out strong. “Did you ever wonder why I moved to this area? Away from your mother? I couldn’t live in this country and see what was happening to our homeland … I had to do something, join forces with someone.”

  “But you take care of the children. I’ve been helping you … providing food and money.”

  Ruth laughed. “Ja, it’s been helping us well.”

  “What now?” Will lowered his head and let his shoulders drop. For the first time since recovering from his injury he felt defeated, alone in his fight. She truly had betrayed him. Whatever am I to do now? How can I get to Danesfield House, to Emma, in time?

  Emma sat on the cot in the locked room and pulled her thin sweater tighter around herself. She’d had enough self-pity. She’d had enough worrying about the shame of returning home. What she needed now was to figure out what had gone so wrong. How could she have trusted Will? How could she have not known who he was?

  She lined up the clues in her mind, telling her who Will was. First, there was the moment in the bookshop. Will had admitted he’d set that up. But now she knew why. He had seen her in Henley-on-Thames and knew she’d come from Medmenham. He knew of her work with the Allied Central Interpretation Unit, and obviously he’d thought she was the one to give him access. Had her sad, vulnerable heart been that noticeable?

  How long had he been watching her? Was she picked out or just the lucky one who happened to be at the train station? And what about Vera? Why hadn’t Will chosen her? Maybe he believed Emma to be a foolish American.

  Then there had been the package—that special order. Had the bookshop keeper been a part of his spy network too?

  Then there was Ruth. If they were friends since he was a child, she was no doubt part of it too. And what could be a more perfect cover than a war widow caring for bombed-out children?

  Emma thought back to a moment she’d spent with Ruth. Emma had stood by Ruth’s side as they’d just finished cleaning up after lunch, and they’d watched the children from the window. Ruth had stood straight and tall. Her hands had been fisted on the counter, and there was a tenseness to the lift of her brow. Ruth had looked weary, and Emma hadn’t blamed her. How hard it must be to care for four children alone without support.

  “I lost my husband in the Great War,” she stated plainly. “We’d lived in Great Britain only five years at the time, but he said this was his country.” She had sighed and rested her fingers against her lips. “He had such dreams, as if he could sa
ve the world.”

  “How old was your husband?” Emma waited for Ruth’s response, but she didn’t give one. Instead, she kept talking.

  “The ordinary soldiers are just like a mosquito pricking a horse. To make a difference in any war, one has to cripple the beast where it hurts the most. Werner just didn’t realize he was a mosquito.”

  Ruth had turned to Emma with wide eyes, as if remembering she was there. “Please excuse me. The pain of losing my husband, to be left alone in a country not my own, is hard to face sometimes.”

  “I can’t imagine.” Emma stood quiet, not knowing what else to say. “I could only hope to have a husband to love as much as you love yours,” she finally said.

  Ruth’s face brightened. She brushed her hands down her apron. “And what do you think of Will?”

  Ruth had smiled when Emma had told her all the things she loved about him, and now she realized that inside Ruth was just mocking her. Ruth is in on this. The emotions building within told her it was so.

  Emma’s gut ached. Her chest felt as if a whole Nissen hut was pressed down upon it. No matter how she tried to rearrange the puzzle pieces, it only made one picture. Will was betraying her. He used her to get important information that he needed. And he didn’t care who he hurt in the process.

  I suppose Vera was right about Will. The thought filled her mind, but then an uneasiness came over her. Even though it was becoming easier to understand that Will—and maybe Ruth—had deceived her, Berndt’s role in all this still nagged at her. She just couldn’t believe Berndt was innocent. There had to be something going on with him too. Emma felt it in her gut.

  She considered how Berndt had gotten the job at Danesfield. All the maintenance workers and gardeners had gone to war. Of course Berndt hadn’t. He’d been refused because of his injury. His injury.

  Emma sat up straighter. She thought about the day at the river. He’d emerged from the water with a child in his arms and without his shoes. Something had caught her as strange—something was off—and she knew what it was now. He’d emerged without the limp! He’d dragged himself from the water, and he’d walked the first few steps without the awkward gait. He’d caught his breath, and then when he’d started walking again the limp was there. Emma hadn’t picked it up then—she’d only sensed that something was off—but now she knew. Had he been faking an old war injury? He’d wooed Vera’s heart for a reason. What if he wanted access to the archives or even to destroy them?