Madison looked at Daniel questioningly.
“I don’t know,” he said.
“You were a hero this morning,” one of the men said.
“You saved that little boy’s life,” his companion said.
“I only did what anyone would have done.”
“You’re the only one who did it,” someone else said, echoing what Daniel had said.
She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t think she had done anything out of the ordinary.
“Thank you,” she said, simply, with tears in her eyes.
Daniel put his hand on her shoulder and they went to stand by the railing of the open gondola car.
Madison didn’t know where she belonged in this world. She had some images of her parents and her childhood, but after that, up to now, age thirty – according to her Texas driver’s license, her mind was blank. She didn’t know where to find her parents or what she did before this. She didn’t know where she fit in.
But right now, at this moment, she felt she belonged here - on this train. And though she was afraid to admit it, she felt she belonged with Daniel.
She knew it could be because she was lonely. Or because he’d been kind to her. Or because she knew no one else.
But she didn’t care so much at the moment. She liked the feeling. The feeling of belonging. The feeling that she had someone she could confide in. Someone who believed in her.
Daniel stayed close to Madison for the rest of the ride home. He knew she could take care of herself. He knew that nothing had changed with her. But he also knew that he cared even more for her now. Now she needed him. She needed his protection. She was vulnerable. Anyone could take advantage of her. They could lie to her and convince her that she knew them. That could be devastating.
He wasn’t sure yet what he was going to do to help her, but he had to do something. But, first he had to convince her to allow him to stay near her.
After they finished up for the day, he caught her before she disappeared to go home.
“Madison,” he called, running up behind her. She looked tired. She hadn’t adapted to the work routine yet. It had taken him a long time to adapt to the long physically grueling days. “I’ll walk you home.”
“No, I’m okay.”
“Please. Let me. No one else knows where you live. If something were to happen, at least I would know where to find you.”
She rolled her eyes. “Okay. If you insist. But I really find it unnecessary.”
“Good,” he said. “Then we can go to dinner.”
“I don’t think so.”
“And why not?” He asked, moving into step beside her.
“Because I am filthy and I am exhausted and I’m not going anywhere like this.”
“You can clean up first.”
“Nope. After I clean up, I’m going to crash into my bed.”
“Okay, you win. When’s your first day off?”
“Tuesday.”
“Great. We’ll have dinner on Tuesday.”
“You’re a little persistent, aren’t you?”
“Sometimes.”
“Have you ever had a restraining order against you?”
He laughed. “Never. Actually, I would let most people go.”
“Why not me?”
“Cause you’re pretty.”
This time she laughed. “You’re insane.”
“Hey, maybe you were a psychologist.”
“Maybe so,” she said, sobering.
“I’m sorry. I just can’t help trying to figure out the puzzle.”
“Yeah, well, try living with it.”
“Talk to me. Let me help.”
“Not now. I’m drained. And right now, all I need to know about me is that I am exhausted.”
He nodded. And allowed her to walk in silence.
When they turned down Patterson Lane, Daniel stopped and looked around. “You don’t live here?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Because people who live here aren’t train brakemen.”
“How do you know?”
Because I used to live here. “Because it’s not the kind of neighborhood that working people live in,” he said, turning down the familiar street.
“Who lives here?”
“Some professionals, some entrepreneurs, some philanthropists. Maybe an author.”
“Maybe a brakeman who does it just for fun could live here,” she suggested.
“I don’t know,” he said.
She shrugged.
“If you really live here, you probably don’t need to work on the train. You need to be riding the train.”
She laughed. “This way I get to not only ride the train, but also have something to do.”
She unlocked the front door and he followed her inside. The patio home - not really a condo at all, was elegantly furnished. There was a pale pink and brown rug across the mahogany floor of the living room which was furnished with a rich mocha leather sofa softened by pink throws and pillows.
The terrace doors opened out into a brick-fenced back yard several yards deep. Without looking around, he knew the bathroom sported a patio tub and the kitchen would have an indoor grill, huge island, and large side-by-side thermal refrigerator.
He’s spent some time around this area of the neighborhood.
Unable to resist, he went to the door leading into the garage and opened it. He whistled when he saw the car inside. It was a sleek black Mercedes. “Is that your car?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Madison,” he said, following her into the kitchen. “You have a Mercedes parked in the garage of your half-million-dollar patio home.”
“Yeah, so?”
“So, you need to find out who you are. You don’t need to work.”
“I want to work.”
He shook his head. “You’re insane.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. Just because I have some nice stuff doesn’t mean I have any money. And even if I do, first of all, I don’t know how to access it. And, second, I like my job.”
“I’m sure you do,” he said. “It’s one of the best jobs a person can have.” He paused and looked around the well-furnished living area - devoid of photographs and other personal items. “However, if you’ll let me, I’ll try to help you figure out who you are. It’s got to be stressful just not knowing.”
She nodded. “It is stressful, but I’ve adapted.”
“Adapted? It’s been what? A week?”
“Something like that.”
“You haven’t had time to adapt. You’re just reacting.”
She crossed her arms and looked away. “You don’t know.”
“Then help me understand,” he said, going to her, but not touching her.
She wouldn’t look at him. He could help her. He knew he could. He could help her figure this out.
Then a thought occurred to him. Maybe she didn’t want to know. Maybe she didn’t even know that she didn’t want to know. But maybe she didn’t. She was building a new life here and maybe that was what she wanted. A new life.
“Do you want to know?” he asked softly.
She turned to him with tears in her eyes. “Please tell me how I could possibly not want to know. I have no memories of my childhood - Christmases, vacations, graduations. I don’t even know if I went to college.”
“I’m sure you did,” he assured her.
“No. You don’t know.”
He put his hand on her shoulder then. “You, Madison McKivitz are successful. Whether you went to college or not, you are no loser.”
She looked away. “I just need to know. I need to know who I am. Where I came from. So, don’t ever think I don’t want to know. I want to know more than anything. But I can’t know right now. So, I have to make the most of it all. Just because I’m coping doesn’t mean I don’t care.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she said, walking away from him. “You can’t know. No one can know. The confusion.�
�
“Sadness?”
She seemed to consider this. “No, no really. It’s hard to mourn what you can’t remember.”
Daniel’s heart went out to her. He so wanted to fix things for her, but he so didn’t know how. He knew what he had to do. He had to just be there for her. Despite her brave words of conviction, his instinct told him she didn’t want to know who she had been. Not yet anyway.
“Madison, I’m here if you need me.”
She turned and looked at him again. “Thank you.”
“I’m gonna go now and give you some time to yourself. Five in the morning comes awfully early.”
She smiled then, but she looked like she could have cried just as easily. “Okay.”
“Here’s my contact information,” he said, handing her a business card.
She nodded and looked down at the card he handed her.
Closing the distance between them, he hugged her and kissed the top of her head. She responded by putting her arms around him and holding on. They stood that way for what could been seconds or could have been an hour - he completely lost track of time as he reveled in the feel of her soft body pressed against his.
He wasn’t sure whose idea it was to pull away, only that he didn’t want to despite the knowledge that he had to go. She was too vulnerable right now for him to make any moves on her and he would be a heel if he did so.
He turned and she followed him to the door. She stood at the door, one hand on the doorknob, and watched him walk away.
Daniel had been right. Five o’clock did come incredibly early. She was beginning to get the feeling that she really wasn’t a morning person. If she ever got a day off, she would happily spend it sleeping. She couldn’t say she hadn’t slept well. She’d fallen asleep with her mind enveloped with thoughts of Daniel and she hadn’t stirred all night long. When she woke, he was the first thing she thought of, and she couldn’t wait until she saw him again - the only good thing about being up at five and out the door at six.
For reasons unknown, the train was busy that morning. She only saw Daniel once from a distance and they passed once in the aisle of a coach car. He had a passenger in tow. He winked as he passed, sending her pulse into overtime.
Madison found herself answering numerous questions from inquisitive tourists, but true to form, everyone quieted as the train crept along the canyon wall, just inches from disaster.
A couple of times that morning, Madison noticed that a young woman maybe in her mid-twenties kept watching her and turning to whisper to her male companion. Madison pretty much ignored it, assuming that it had something to do with her uniform.
As they were on the home stretch to Silverton, Madison was walking past the same woman when she thought she heard her name.
“Dr. McKivitz.”
She stopped and stood still, looking ahead, her thoughts racing frantically. Someone else must have her same last name. She looked to see who the woman was talking to. She was looking straight at her. Madison looked behind her, but there was no one there, except for a couple of kids.
“Dr. McKivitz,” the girl said again.
“I’m sorry. You have the wrong person.”
The girl pointed to her name tag. “But you’re Madison McKivitz.”
Madison glanced at her nametag, as inane as that was. “Yes, but…”
“You’re my doctor. In Houston. I saw you three months ago.”
“I’m sure it’s just someone who looks like me,” Madison said. “Everyone has a twin out there.” She looked up and saw Daniel watching her from a mere few feet away. She shook her head and walked the other way.
It was a coincidence. That was all. She wasn’t a doctor. The idea was preposterous.
A few minutes later, Daniel followed her to the front of the train where she had fled.
“Madison?” he called.
She didn’t look at him. “She’s mistaken.”
“I spoke to her. She’s certain you’re her doctor.”
She turned at him, anger in her features. “You had no right to talk to her about me. About who she thinks I am.”
‘I’m sorry. I want to help.”
“Then stop trying!” she said through her teeth. The train slowed and she jumped off. She jumped off and ran. Blindly. She didn’t know where she was going. She didn’t care. She just needed to get away.
Daniel had no choice but to let her go. It was bad enough having one staff member running away from the train when it was about to dock, but having the conductor do so would have been unconscionable. He watched her until she disappeared around the corner of a large gray building. Then he went back to his passengers.
He felt bad about invading her privacy, yet he could not pass up the opportunity to speak to someone who possibly knew who she was. It did seem a little far-fetched that she was a physician. But then, she had known how to help the little boy who was swatted by the bear.
This definitely warranted more thought – later - when he had the time to explore it. Right now, he had to get the passengers off the train so he could find Madison.
He found her in the little park under the aspen trees. She was watching a father and son with their collie playing catch in the adjoining field. She glanced in his direction when he walked up to her.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“You don’t have to apologize.”
“I didn’t act very professional. And I’m sorry about that.”
“Madison. You’re going through something that supersedes your job. You had every right to be upset.”
“Upset. Yes. But I should not have left my passengers.”
He smiled to himself. Her passengers. She was definitely integrated into her role as a brakeman. He found it endearing. “Madison,” he said.
She looked up at him, her eyes still moist.
“Why do you think you couldn’t be a physician?”
“Because I know nothing about medicine. Nothing. I’ve racked my brain and I’m not coming up with anything beyond ibuprofen and Benadryl. Normal things that everyone knows about.”
“What about other things?”
“What other things?”
“Other things that you should know?”
“I know where we are. I know who the President is. I know all the basics to get by, but I don’t know who I am except that I do know that I’m not a doctor.”
“Ok,” he said, sitting down beside her and stretching his long legs out.” Maybe you have a twin.”
“Maybe so,” she said, her face brightening. “That could explain it. I could have a twin or a sister. But.... we wouldn’t have the same name.”
“No, but you could have adopted her name when you lost your memory.”
“Maybe so,” she said, considering.
“Come on,” Daniel said, “I’m hungry.”
“You’re always hungry.”
“I’m a guy. Guys eat.”
She got up and they started walking toward Main street. “I hope you don’t want pizza again.”
“What’s wrong with pizza?”
“A girl has to watch her figure.”
He scoffed “That’s not something you have to worry about.”
Madison looked at him, frowning.
“I’m just saying.”
“Nonetheless, let’s see if we can find someplace with a salad.”
Daniel breathed a silent sigh of relief. Not only was she feeling better, but she was beginning to feel comfortable around him. He was making progress in the right direction.
“What’s wrong with this place?” she asked, pointing to the first restaurant they passed.
“You don’t want to go in there,” he said.
“Why not? It looks nice enough,” she said as she opened the door and walked in.
All eleven men sitting at the bar turned and watched them walk inside. Madison seemed oblivious to them. A perky blonde server came up to seat them.
“We’d like to sit away from the bar,” Daniel said.
“Sure, honey,” the server said. “I can get you whatever you want.”
“Just a table.” he said.
Madison looked at him questioningly. “I tried to warn you.”
After they were seated at a small table with a real flower in a vase between them, Madison asked, “what’ s wrong with this place?”
“It’s nothing. I’m sure they have salads.”
“Daniel,” she said, and waited until he looked up at her. “Those guys at the bar? The waitress? Is this some kind of pick-up place?”
“Unfortunately, yes,” he said.
She looked around at the mix of what must be locals and what were obviously tourists. Then she laughed.
“I don’t get it,” he said. “What’s funny?”
“I don’t know. It’s just funny that these unsuspecting tourists are here just having a good time and the locals are trying to pick them up.”
“They don’t pick up tourists,” he said, seriously.
“Why not? Tourists would be a great one-night stand.”
“Yeah, but tourists don’t stay the night. Now if they do, that might be different. I’ve only had to stay over a couple of times, and I always stay in my room.”
“Is that so? You don’t go for adventure?”
“I wouldn’t call being picked up for a one-night stand an adventure.”
The server came back, took their order without incident, and disappeared. “One house salad for the lady and one cheeseburger well-done with fries for the gentleman,” she repeated.
Madison watched her walk away. “She lost some of her friendliness.”
“Who knows,” he said, opening a package of crackers. “Are you sure all you want is a salad?”
‘I’m sure,” she looked up thoughtfully. “Maybe I was a nutritionist in my other life.”
“You give the meaning of another life a whole new meaning.”
She smiled. “I guess I do, don’t I?”
“Have you been through your whole house to look for clues?”
“Only about a dozen times.”
“Would you like me to take a look - in case you missed something?’
“Trust me. I looked at everything.”
“Okay,” he said, backing off. He had to remember not to push so much. “What’s your favorite movie?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he winced. She didn’t know anything about herself, how could she possibly know what her favorite movie was?
Pretend You'll Stay (Winter Kisses Book 2) Page 6