Under Pressure

by Lori Foster

  Kevin nodded. “You’ll have a lot of places to put...stuff.” He seemed unsure what stuff she’d have.

  “It’s an office dream,” she assured him.

  Expression eager, he told her, “Jesse says this’ll be even better than your office being in the room I took.”

  “Much, much better. And the fact that you’re in the room now...well, I couldn’t be happier about all of it.”

  Both guys looked pretty satisfied with her enthusiastic reaction, so they all exited the attic with grins.

  That seemed to set the tone, and the drive-in was a wonderful adventure that went by with nary a bit of uncertainty.

  The good times even carried over to the next day for the grill-out.

  For the first time since she’d gotten the awful phone call about her sister, Tonya felt optimistic that the future would not only work out, it’d be easier than she’d imagined.

  And she owed it all to Jesse.

  * * *

  A WEEK LATER, they again congregated in Tonya’s backyard for games and grilled food. Jesse was feeling pretty damned good. Earlier that day he, Kevin and Tonya had finished clearing out the attic. Yeah, he was dragging his feet, taking more time than necessary. But so what? Kevin enjoyed helping out, he didn’t want Tonya overworked and, on a more personal level, he loved spending time at her place.

  Mostly because he loved her.

  Kevin too.

  When with them, life felt more perfect. He didn’t want to let that go, but neither did he want to rush either of them. Both Tonya and Kevin were still reeling from having their lives turned upside down; he had to respect the frailty of the situation.

  But damn, it was getting more and more difficult to leave each night when what he really wanted was to move on in.

  “You playing or daydreaming?” Brick asked.

  Daydreaming, but he got it together and grinned. “Playing.” Holding the badminton racket loosely in both hands, he indicated Brick should serve.

  After already defeating Evan and Cinder, he and Kevin faced off against Brick and Merrily. It pleased him, made him feel like a proud dad, how Kevin showed his competitive edge, but in a nice way.

  For what the kid had gone through, no one would have been surprised if he’d refused to play, or if he’d had a temper tantrum when they lost.

  Instead, when they’d started playing last weekend, he’d gotten very serious and knuckled down. He had a natural athleticism that seemed to surprise him. Both Brick and Evan had commented on his speed. Jesse saw his dexterity.

  All over simple badminton.

  Jesse would like to get him to a bowling lane, or on a baseball field. Kevin took instruction with the same gusto most kids used when opening presents on Christmas morning. He possessed natural talent just begging to show. Jesse wanted to give that talent free rein. It’d be interesting to see which sports he liked.

  It had been a busy but successful week. In his mind, Jesse repeatedly ticked off accomplishments.

  Kevin had enjoyed the drive-in, including the popcorn and colas and corn dogs.

  He’d worked hard helping Jesse on the attic project.

  He’d tolerated the haircut, and had gotten to know the barber.

  And best of all, he’d endured the shopping that had taken more than a few hours. Endured being an apt word given how it apparently pained Kevin to see Tonya buy him things.

  Doing his part, Jesse had taken him aside and clued him in on how to accept his aunt’s shopping spree with graciousness, explaining that it was important to her, so even if he felt he didn’t want or need the clothes, he should just accept it and thank her.

  Jesse knew it was more about Kevin thinking he didn’t deserve them, but the boy had taken the advice to heart and mumbled his thanks over every shirt, several pairs of jeans and two new pairs of shoes. He’d even swallowed back his complaints and embarrassment over new underwear and socks.

  This was now their last weekend before Kevin started school on Monday. And that meant Jesse had to fight to keep his gaze off Tonya.

  “No offense,” Merrily said, “but we’re going to win.”

  Jesse laughed. “Keep dreaming.”

  Kevin got into position and said, “We’ll see.”

  After losing the first game today, they’d won the second. Tiebreakers were tough on anyone who liked to win, but even as they all taunted each other, they laughed.

  Off to the side, Tonya watched them along with Evan and Cinder. All around them animals ran loose, enjoying the chaos. Love rested a safe distance away in the warm grass. The poor thing looked ready to pop, so Jesse hoped it wouldn’t be too much longer for her.

  The sun shone down on them, he was surrounded by friends and Kevin was enjoying himself.

  Jesse didn’t have to fake his pleasure. Yes, he was dying to get Tonya alone. He wanted her. Needed her.

  Had to have her.

  But he wasn’t a kid. He knew how to prioritize. Tonya and Kevin were definitely priorities.

  In so many ways, Tonya had been more contained than Kevin. Little by little, though, she was coming out of her shell.

  Same as Kevin.

  Damn, but it filled him with satisfaction to be a part of that.

  He was still thinking about tomorrow, about having her all to himself, when Brick sent the birdie sailing toward them. Kevin ran hard, diving forward and managing to catch it with just the tip of the racket. But that sent him into a roll, and he sprawled on the ground like a fallen warrior. Jesse jumped to keep him from plowing into his legs, then gave the birdie another awkward smack. He, too, landed on the ground.

  The birdie shot over the net—directly into Brick’s racket. Taken by surprise, Brick tried to recover but fumbled it, and it landed between him and Merrily.

  On a mock wail, Merrily collapsed in defeat—then got trampled by the dogs as they rushed her to play.

  Grinning, Brick ducked under the net and came to stand over them.

  “Either of you get hurt?”

  Jesse groaned theatrically. “My pride more than anything.”

  “You won, so your pride will recover.”

  Shoving up to sit, Kevin checked a scraped elbow, shrugged it off and grinned. “I’m okay.”

  “You sure?” Brick hauled him up, looked at his arm and winced over the raw spot. “Can’t have you going to school tomorrow with badminton injuries.”

  “Yeah,” Kevin said. “This school doesn’t know me so it might surprise them.”

  Both men froze.

  Heart in his throat, Jesse sat up too.

  Realizing what he’d said, Kevin scowled—and focused on Love. “I’m going to check on the cat.” And off he went.

  Brick and Jesse shared a look. Damn, but every time things started to even out, he felt the awfulness of Kevin’s past all over again.

  After squeezing his jaw tight a moment, Brick visibly tried to relax. But Jesse heard his low, muttered, “Fuck,” loud and clear.

  “Yeah.” Thoughts roiling, he stared toward Kevin. Had his mother left marks on him? One of her boyfriends? He wanted to talk to Kevin about it, but uncertainty held him back.

  Held them all back.

  As if she’d felt the tension, Tonya immediately went to Kevin. Jesse knew that, like him, she would chat about the cat, about school—about everything other than the mistreatment he’d suffered before his mother’s death. Unless or until Kevin wanted to talk, they’d all keep it cheerful. Or at least as cheerful as they could.

  Merrily came up to lean against Brick. “He’s such a great kid.”

  “Yeah.” Brick put his arm around her.

  Evan and Cinder walked out to the yard. “Everything okay?”

  Jesse knew Brick had already filled his brother and sister-in-law in on
Kevin’s background, so he said only, “It will be,” and went to join Tonya.

  Like the Pied Piper, Jesse drew the attention of the dogs and cats alike. They all followed along and, eventually, so did the people.

  Love didn’t mind the attention. In fact, she seemed to crave it...right up until she lumbered to her feet, meowed at Kevin and stood on his sneaker.

  “I’ll take her in,” Kevin announced, gently lifting the cat into his arms.

  “Wait.” Merrily fetched a camera that Tonya had left sitting on the deck and took a few photos of Kevin and the cat.

  Grinning crookedly, Kevin mugged for the camera until she’d finished, then he carried Love inside.

  Tonya had started taking photos last weekend at the drive-in, and she hadn’t stopped yet. Already she had filled her house with photos of Kevin, as if trying to make up for the fact that none had been found at his mother’s apartment.

  She’d included Jesse in many of them, and some of their friends, as well as the various animals.

  Kevin kept a photo of Tonya, himself and Jesse in his room, tacked to a corkboard over his desk. He hadn’t made a big deal of it, but when he’d looked at the photo overlong, Tonya had handed it over to him, and it had been on his wall ever since.

  Like so many other things, it was a start.

  Twenty minutes later, Cinder announced that she wanted ice cream. Brick and Merrily decided they should all go to the local creamy whip, and they invited Kevin along.

  Like every kid everywhere, he didn’t turn down ice cream.

  When she started to speak, Jesse caught Tonya’s hand and held her back. “We’ll pick up the yard, but the rest of you go, have fun.”

  Though she didn’t disagree, Tonya started blushing, which amused Jesse. Did she think he planned to jump the gun by one measly day?

  Tomorrow morning Kevin would catch the bus to school.

  The rest of the day belonged to him.

  He could wait...barely.

  Kevin got Love settled in her nook beneath his bed where he’d put a few of his old shirts for her to nestle into. She enjoyed the familiarity of his scent, something Kevin found very odd but clearly liked.

  With his hand on Kevin’s shoulder and a knowing glint in his eyes, Brick faced Jesse and Tonya. “Want us to bring you back anything?”

  Tonya had gone very quiet, so Jesse smiled and said, “We’re good, but thanks.”

  Evan said, “Banana splits are on me. It can be our last hurrah before school starts tomorrow morning.”

  Kevin asked, “Banana split? They have those?”

  “Ooh,” Cinder said. “Are you in for a treat!”

  As they left, Jesse could hear Evan regaling Kevin on the wonders of bananas, ice cream, chocolate sauce and whipped cream.

  Going to the window, Jesse watched until both cars had left the driveway.

  Then he turned to Tonya.

  Cheeks still warm, gaze soft and dark, she watched him. “Um... I’m not sure we have time—”

  “We don’t. At least, not for what you’re thinking.”

  She relaxed a little, her expression now teasing. “What am I thinking?”

  “Sex. With me.”

  She slowly inhaled and nodded. “Nailed it.”

  “I know, because I’m thinking it too. Pretty much around the clock.”

  “So then—”

  Moving away from the window, he got close but didn’t yet touch her. “We need to talk.”

  Groaning, Tonya dropped back against the wall. “You’re a terrible tease.” A sexy, hard-to-resist tease. “At the very least, I figured we’d do some kissing.”

  “All right, we will. After.”

  “After?”

  He looked at her mouth and said, “If I start kissing you now, we’ll get off course in a big way. But this is too important—to me, and to you and Kevin.”

  That sounded pretty heavy.

  Especially when he added, “To our future.”

  Her knees almost turned to noodles. She wanted to cheer because he’d just stated, out loud and plain as day, that they did have a future. But given the serious look in his green eyes, this was something important.

  And maybe not cheer-worthy.

  So maybe it had to do with Kevin. Had she missed something serious? Jesse had spent almost as much time with her nephew as she had.

  Worried, she braced herself. “Okay. I’m listening. What is it?”

  Cupping her neck, he drew her closer and whispered against her lips, “I want in.”

  “In...?”

  Trailing his hand down her shoulder, along the side of her breast, her ribs and her hip, he boldly cupped her between the thighs. “Here, for sure.”

  One simple touch should never have so much impact, but when it was Jesse touching her, she felt it everywhere. Slowly, heating with sensation and need, she closed her eyes and swallowed back a groan. “Here?” she tried to say as casually as he’d spoken. Instead she sounded all raspy and turned-on.

  Because she was.

  His fingers curled, his voice dropped. “I definitely want in here.”

  She nodded. “I already told you I’m on board with that.”

  He released her and touched below her breast, his hand big and warm and firm. “And here.”

  He wanted...into her heart? She could have told him he already took up far too much space there.

  Lastly, he trailed his fingertips up until he brushed them over her forehead. “But for right now, I want in here.”

  Denying that, she tried a laugh that fell flat. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  Jesse’s expression went sympathetic, but also determined. “Will you tell me about your sister?”

  She really, really hated talking about Cissy. Heaven knew she’d spent far too many years with the focus on Cissy’s problems. What Cissy wanted, what Cissy needed...

  An awful bubble of unhappiness rose up to her throat, choking her. Oh God, her sister was gone. Forever.

  Tonya looked away. She felt awful. Selfish. Even mean. How could she still resent a sister who had lived such an unhappy life?

  Jesse’s fingertips on her chin brought her face back around. “Tonya?”

  She could still hear her mother telling her that she was stronger, more independent than Cissy. She dredged up that strength now and straightened her posture. “What do you want to know?”

  At close range, his gaze searched hers, stealing her thoughts right out of her head. “Everything.” He brushed his thumb over her jaw. “But mostly I want to know how it was for you.”

  “Me?” No one ever asked her that. She didn’t have Cissy’s problems. No, her problems were small and insignificant in comparison.

  “There were only the two of you?”

  “Yes.” Although often she’d felt invisible in Cissy’s gloomy shadow. “She was eight years older.” Trying for a careless smile, she added, “Pretty sure I was a mistake, you know?”

  Rather than reply to that, he asked, “Was she always troubled?”

  Laughing without humor, her expression pained, Tonya shrugged. “For as long as I can remember.” Somehow, without her really realizing it, Jesse steered her to the kitchen. Why did all big discussions take place there?

  He pulled out a chair. “She must’ve gotten a lot of the attention.”

  “The squeaky wheel gets oiled.” Tonya winced over that blatant complaint, but then went ahead and expounded on the truth. “Cissy didn’t just squeak, she screamed. Trouble. All the time. Over everything.” As if a dam had burst, her words came rushing out, her hurt and resentment mixing together. “My parents had to work, and they had to always help Cissy. Financially, emotionally, in every way you can imagine.”

  “I guess that didn’t
leave much time for you?”

  “It left no time. I was expected to be the easier child, and so I was.”

  “That’s pretty impressive, you know. You could have gone the opposite way and followed Cissy’s example.”

  “Ha! Not likely.” She covered her face with her hands, embarrassed over her pettiness, hating her own resentment of the past, but it felt so good to say it aloud, to get it out of her head. “I got in trouble at school once. You’d have thought the world ended. Dad lectured me, telling me how unfair it was to my mother to burden her that way because, after all, I already knew she had her hands full with Cissy. He was so disappointed in me. And Mom cried. I think the idea that two kids would cause problems just overwhelmed her. She was in bed sick for two days—until Cissy had another meltdown and needed her.”

  Appalled, Jesse took her hands and stared into her eyes. “What did you do to get in trouble?”

  “I skipped a class, went out with a friend and tried smoking.” Remembering her own ridiculous attempt at rebelling, she wrinkled her nose. “It was so dumb. The cigarette was awful, the repercussions worse. Believe me, I never tried anything like that again.”

  “So you never got to sow your wild oats?”

  She shrugged. “Did you?”

  “Sure.”

  She would love to hear all about Jesse and his misspent youth. “Admittedly, I’m starting late. But here I am, sitting at the table with a bona fide gorgeous hunk who, starting tomorrow, will let me wallow in lust. Better late than never, huh?”

  Her joke fell flat, leaving Jesse frowning instead of smiling.

  “When did you lose your parents?”

  She rolled a shoulder, wishing they could move on from her tale of woe. “I was twenty. Cissy wasn’t around. I knew how badly my folks would have wanted her there, but she didn’t answer my calls or even show up for the funeral.” Anger swelled. Anger and hurt. “She accepted her half of their estate though. For a while there, I hoped it would make a difference for Kevin. He was only five then. I’m not sure he even remembers Mom and Dad since their last year, Cissy got really bad. She lived with this one creep that my parents hated. So many nights they’d miss sleep worrying.”

  “And what about you? Did you worry?”