What's Left of Us (The Us Series Book 1)

by Michele Tucker

  Whenever my two best friends would start talking about going away, I would just sit quietly trying to hide how uneasy I felt at the thought of them leaving me behind in this small town.

  So, Ash insisted that he had an extra application by pure luck and I would fill it out just to humor him, but I had no expectation for anything to actually happen. When we received our acceptance letters to UA, I couldn’t believe I had gotten in. I also didn’t know how to tell Asher that I just couldn’t go. I was sure that my dad would find a way to make it possible, but I didn’t want to have my parents bear the financial burden.

  When I told Ash about not being able to afford it, he helped me fill out every financial aid form I qualified for, and in the end, I received enough to pay for most of my tuition. I still needed to find a part-time job to cover all of the other expenses that I would accumulate, but I was just thrilled that I was actually headed to college.

  I never admitted it, but I was terrified of what my life would be like without Asher and Beck here.

  I stood up and walked home, trying my best to push thoughts of them out of my head. Today was all about new beginnings and moving forward. My head kept reminding me of this, but so far, my heart hadn’t received the message.

  The air conditioning provided a welcome relief from the Georgia heat as soon as I stepped inside my house. I could hear my mom rushing around the kitchen, packing some snacks for my trip.

  I quickly ran up to my room and packed a few last items into my suitcase.

  “Calla, are you ready?” my dad called from the living room.

  “Yes, sir,” I replied, as I headed towards the door, carrying my suitcase into the living room. I took one last look around our one-story house. The furniture was the same pieces we moved from our old house. The air in this house, in this town even, was stifling. Strangling. Suffocating.

  I loaded my suitcase and backpack in the car, giving my house one last glance, and got in the back seat. As we drove my mom turned around and tried to make small talk, but I could see that it was forced. The fresh worry lines around her eyes were my doing. She would be better off once I was out of her hair, worrying her with my moods had taken a toll on her physically.

  The drive felt like an eternity. With every mile I was more relieved to finally get away from Acworth and all the memories here. But with every mile, it also felt as if my heart were being ripped from my soul all over again. Like I was leaving a piece of me behind, a piece I needed to survive. I pushed down the panic that started to arise in my chest at the thought of being alone.

  It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

  We should have stuck together.

  We had a pact.

  When we finally arrived at the bus station, I knew that after this point, I’d be alone. It was what I wanted, but as my Dad lifted my bags out of the trunk, a nervous feeling started to settle in my stomach.

  “You call me as soon as you get there,” he said, enveloping me in a big hug.

  “Don’t talk to strange guys on your way.” He let go of me, and took a step back. My mom hugged me so fiercely it knocked the breath out of me.

  “Define strange,” I said, my voice muffled.

  Dad laughed. “I’m going to miss you, but I’m proud of you for doing this.” He kissed me on my cheek and handed me some money.

  “Dad no,” I said trying to give him the money back but he shook his head and pushed my hand away.

  “Honey, take it. We’ll be fine,” Mom said as Dad stuffed the money into a pocket of my backpack.

  I gave them one last hug and waved as I made my way to the ticket line. I got in the long line, moving inch by slow inch, to purchase my one-way ticket to Tuscaloosa. I ran my hands down my dress and smoothed it out.

  All around me, people were coming and going. I let my mind wonder about their lives. Were they happy to be leaving Atlanta? Did they have loved ones waiting on them, or were they alone like me?

  I quickly wiped a lone tear that was about to fall onto my cheek. When all of a sudden, I felt someone grab my waist from behind, lift me up off the ground and throw me over their shoulder.

  Before I could panic, I noticed the bold, bright ink of a peacock feather wrapped around my captor’s right wrist and hand. I recognized it instantly. I playfully smacked his back and grabbed his heather gray baseball cap off the top of his head and promptly placed it on my own. I turned my head slightly to look at Parker, my ex-boyfriend, smirking at me.

  “Parker, you jerk. You can’t just grab people like that. You scared me to death,” I shouted, as I tried to slap him on his back.

  “Okay-okay, putting you down now. Stop hitting me,” he said and lowered me back to the ground. He stood there with a huge smile spreading across his face, looking at me as if we hadn’t seen each other in ages. His smile was infectious; I couldn’t help but smile back.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked as I threw my arms around his waist. He hugged me back and we just stood like that for a minute. I looked up at him, taking in his bright green eyes twinkling with amusement. He’d finally shaved off the faux-hawk that I’d been teasing him about, and for a moment, I actually missed it.

  “Like I was going to let you go all by yourself. Just admit it. Your last text was a plea for me to give you a ride,” he said, one eyebrow raised and his head slightly cocked. “Besides, it made no sense for you to take the bus when I pass through there anyways, and I really hate to drive alone.”

  “Ah, so your motives behind my riding with you are purely selfish,” I asked, putting my hand over my heart in mock hurt.

  His eyes locked onto mine, and he brushed his thumb over my cheek, “I missed you. Oh, my mom says hi.”

  “Wait, were you home these last few days and you didn’t call?”

  He nodded.

  “I’m wounded,” I faked a hurt expression. Parker just shrugged his shoulders.

  “I thought I’d give you some space,” he said simply. I was suddenly hit with the fact that I never called him. He was always the one to get in touch with me.

  When Parker and I broke up, it was a mutual agreement. Well, for the most part it was. He was headed off to college, and didn’t want to have a long distance relationship, and I knew that I didn’t have those kinds of feelings for him. We stayed in touch though. He had become an important part of my life, and outside of Ash and Beck he was my closest friend. I did not want to lose that just because we didn’t make it as a couple.

  “You don’t need to give me space, you know that,” I told him as he picked up one of my bags and I grabbed the other before he could take that, too. He directed me towards his Jeep with a nod of his head. I loved his car. It was familiar and soothing.

  He winked at me and gave me a cocky smile. “Oh, I have no trouble getting into your space.”

  “Oh geez, cheesy much?” I replied.

  He opened the back door and put my bags in there while I got in the passenger seat. Parker got into the Jeep seconds after and I nearly jumped out of my skin when he started the engine.

  The loud music and thumping bassline that came barreling through the car’s sound system assaulted my ears. I fought the urge to change the music but it was the only rule Parker had. “I drive, I pick the music,” he’d say, and since I didn’t have my license, I couldn’t complain.

  We drove in silence as we made our way out on the highway, with nothing but the loud country music Parker loved so much blaring loudly. I felt at peace and like for a moment the world was not so upside down.

  As we drove, I couldn’t help but think about how much I had come to rely on Parker in the last year.

  After that morning, I couldn’t believe some of the rumors that went around town. Everywhere I went, I was met with whispers and stares. I had been the focus of them before, but it was easier during those times because Beck and Ash were there with me.

  This time, I was all alone. It became so hard to be out in town, that I quit school and home-schooled myself the rest of my senio
r year.

  I stopped going to church because even there I couldn’t get away from people asking questions about what happened. It all became too much to deal with.

  I went into a dark place, trying to push away everyone who cared about me. Well, everyone except for Parker… not for lack of trying on my part. He was really that stubborn and refused to abandon me.

  If it hadn’t been for him, I’m not sure what I would have done. He dragged me out of the house whenever he was home from school. I fought with him every single time, but gradually being with him became normal.

  I absently ran my thumb in that familiar circular motion around my left wrist. I looked over at Parker, and he gave me a sympathetic smile and then turned his attention back to the road.

  Part of me also felt like I needed to get back into church, to have that fellowship. But I quickly squashed that feeling. It had been so long since I’d set foot in church. I didn’t know if I could start going again. God no longer cared about me anyway, so why bother going?

  I tried thinking about the last time God felt real to me. Our last youth mission to Mexico immediately came to mind. We had driven down there and worked at a few orphanages.

  The kids there were the absolute sweetest and I remember them being thrilled when Ash and Beck pulled out their baseball gear and started teaching them how to play.

  My head jerked forward when we stopped abruptly, pulling me out of my thoughts. Parker turned the music down. He did that whenever he was stuck in traffic, saying he needed to concentrate when driving so slowly. I twisted in my seat to face him and found him staring at me.

  “Where did you go just now?”

  “I’m sitting right here next to your handsome face,” I said, giving him that practiced smile of mine. Parker rolled his eyes but played along with it.

  “Did you realize MSU is only an hour and a half away from Tuscaloosa?” he asked, changing the subject. “That means you may see me a lot more often.”

  “I did," I said, batting my eyelashes at him.

  "I wish I could go back and tell my idiot self not to let you break up with me."

  "You know it wasn’t just me and besides we wouldn't have worked out in the end,” I remind him.

  He had never said this to me and I was left wondering where it was coming from.

  “I know. We are pretty awesome friends,” he said. “Until you realize that I’m the most irresistible guy you’ve ever laid eyes on and want me back.”

  Beck’s face flashed in my mind and that ache that was ever-present, flared up.

  I leaned over and smacked his arm. “I already know that.”

  I ran my hand through his hair, ruffling his perfectly combed style into a big mess.

  “Want to get some dinner? I’m starving,” he said.

  “I bet you are. Can you last just an hour more? We’re almost there,” I asked.

  “Fine, but I get to choose the place. I don’t want to go to one of your hole-in-the-wall diners.”

  “Fine, but I’ll let you pay since I know my dad gave you gas money.”

  Parker looked away. Guilty as charged.

  We got to Tuscaloosa a little under an hour later and started scanning the streets for somewhere to eat and/or park. It’s not that there weren’t options, but Parker and I were never on the same page when it came to food. He settled on a Chinese restaurant, because it was the only place, according to him, that looked halfway decent.

  After dinner, Parker drove me to my dorm. It was old, but not outdated. It was a tall brick building with ivy growing up the side of it. I grabbed my bags from the back seat and noticed he had opened the back of his Jeep. I walked to him and narrowed my eyes at the two cardboard boxes he had there.

  “Are those mine?” I asked him.

  “Yeah, your mom thought since my Jeep had more room than a bus, you’d probably want some more things from home.”

  I said nothing. I didn’t want those boxes filled with mementos of my life before. I was making an effort to change and these were part of the old me.

  I quickly checked in with my RA, and got the key to my dorm. We made our way to my dorm room. I didn't want to explain why I didn't want the boxes so I said nothing.

  As we said our goodbyes, he wrapped me in his arms, squeezing me in a tight hug and I let myself relax into it. After a few seconds, he tried to pull away, but I held onto him like he was my lifeline.

  “Do you need help unpacking?” he asked, his voice muffled. I didn’t want to do any introductions with a roommate that I didn’t even know.

  “No, Parker.” I tried to sound stern, but he could hear the waver in my voice. I wasn’t ready for this, I needed someone with me. I didn’t know if I could do this all on my own. I tried to put on a brave face before I pulled away. “There’s not much, plus my roommate is probably there. Thanks for the offer though. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  “Ah, it just feels so wrong leaving you here alone. Remember, I’m just an hour and a half away. All you have to do is pick up that phone, any time. I’d rather you call me, than...” he left that sentence unfinished. He brushed away the strands of hair that had fallen out of my ponytail from my face, then cupped my chin in his hand and kissed my forehead.

  “I know, you’re right,” I sighed at his reminder. I knew he wasn’t trying to be mean, it was just something we’d agreed on, to always be straight with each other. I needed someone real and he was as real as it got. “I’ll call you.”

  I hugged him once more before he got in the elevator and then I waved him off, pulling out my phone as he disappeared behind the sliding door. Opening my contact list, I found that familiar name and hit the call button.

  Chapter Two

  Asher

  Summer before Freshman Year

  “ASH, SERIOUSLY. You call that a fastball?” Beck asked me as he caught the ball I just threw at him.

  “No, it’s a slider. You know the sign you threw me.”

  Baseball season was about to start up and Beck had been trying to get all the catcher signs memorized so he could make starter this year. So far, he was having a hard time getting them down.

  It’s not that he couldn’t remember anything; he was just so easily distracted. We came up with a system to help him, Cal neatly wrote it all down in a little notebook and we would pick out signs at random for him.

  “Have you seen Cal today? She was supposed to be here with the notebook,” I asked. I paused for a moment thinking about what time she was supposed to meet us. It must have been over an hour ago that she said she would come.

  “I’m sure she’s fine. You don’t need to worry about her. I bet you she’s probably just organizing her room again. You know how she gets about leaving things a mess,” Beck replied.

  “I know, but it’s weird she’s not here yet,” I said. “Maybe I’ll just run over to her house real quick and see what’s taking her so long.”

  “Yeah, okay,” Beck, answered back.

  I ran down the street and crossed in front of Cal’s house. I noticed that her dad’s car was in the driveway, which was unusual for four thirty on a weekday. I went up the few steps and just as I was about to knock, Cal opened the door.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked. She grabbed her hair tie that was around her wrist, and quickly threw her hair up in a weird twisty thing. It always amazed me to see girls do that to their hair, I didn’t understand how they could get it twisted just right. I took my focus off her hair, and noticed that her eyes were outlined with red and her cheeks were stained with tears.

  “I…Uh, I wanted to see if you were okay. We were supposed to meet up to practice,” I answered, not really sure what else to say. Cal hardly ever cried. In the six years, that I had known her she’d only cried once, and that was when her cat died.

  “Oh, yeah. Sorry I forgot, I’ll grab the notebook for you so you guys can practice,” she said looking everywhere but at me.

  Before she could turn around, I reached out for
her hand and held it. With my other hand I forced her chin up so she had to look me in the eyes. I needed to make sure she was okay. Something was going on and from the way she was acting, it couldn’t be good.

  “Cal, wait. Are you okay?” When she finally looked at me, she had tears filling her brown eyes.

  “No, not really,” she answered, swiping at her tears angrily. She looked back down at her feet and her shoulders shook with silent cries.

  It took her a second to compose herself.

  “My dad was laid off today. He said that if he doesn’t find a job soon that he’ll probably have to start applying to jobs out of town. He said we’d probably have to move.” Before she got to the last of her sentence, she threw her arms around my neck. “I don’t want to move and leave you and Beck.”

  My heart dropped at hearing there was a chance she’d have to move. She was my other best friend, and I couldn’t imagine not having her around anymore.

  “It’ll be okay, I’m sure he'll find a job soon. Plus, if he tries to take you away, Beck and I will just have to kidnap you and hide you at one of our houses,” I tell her to try to lighten the mood.

  It must have worked because her lips curved into a smile, and she sniffled as she wiped away the tears from her cheeks.

  “I guess I could get used to sleeping in a closet, if it meant I get to stay here with you guys,” she said. “Hang on; I’ll be back in two minutes. I’ll just grab the notebook and put my hair up.”

  She ran inside and fifteen, definitely not two minutes later, she came back outside. She looked a lot better, her eyes brighter and tear-free.

  As we started to make our way back to the park, Cal linked her arm through mine, resting her head on my shoulder.

  “You really are the best, you know that, right?” she asked me, “I really have no idea what I’d do without you and Beck.”

  “Two words. Bieber fever,” I remind her of the time we caught her at home dancing to his songs, and using a duster as a microphone. It’s something that we tried to remind her of daily, if possible.