Mommies Who Drink

by Brett Paesel

  Murph arrives minutes later. Asleep on the gurney. A bit of dried blood in the corner of his eye. “Yes” still scrawled across the left side of his forehead.

  Pat and I look down at him, our arms touching.

  Pat reaches out and smooths Murph’s curls.

  I look at Yes.

  Every mom writes YESon her child as soon as she claims him. She writes it with a prayer and with hope. Whenever she looks at her child, or thinks of him or dreams of him, she says YES you are mine and YES I’ll let you go.

  Pat takes my hand as I put my other hand on Murph’s chest.

  Yes, I say to myself. Yes, I take this man. Yes, I take these children.

  Yes, I have. Yes, I will. Yes, I do.

  Yes, I say over and over and over and over.

  Yes, I say. Yes. Yes.

  YES.

  Acknowledgments

  I owe everything always to my mother and father, Audrey and Fred Paesel, who give me the courage and blind faith to be a parent because they do it so well. I had such a happy upbringing, my only complaint is that I don't have any salacious material for a childhood memoir. Thanks, too, to my brothers, Erik and Keir, who are two of the funniest guys I know. They taught me the double take, the deadpan, the slow burn, and the value of telling a story in which you are the biggest idiot in the room.

  And thank you to my mother-in-law, Patricia Towne, who is a great sport and a flawless grandma.

  Many thanks to my manager, Adam Peck, who is a cheerleader, a workhorse, and a benevolent nudge. He introduced me to my agent, Erin Hosier, whose dogged devotion to this project has been moving and inspiring. My editor, Amy Einhorn, has been patient and wise and pregnant through the entire editing process—a true soldier. All three have given me invaluable counsel, both business and artistic. Emily Griffin has been my daily contact over at Warner. I appreciate her patience and good humor.

  A huge thank-you to my teacher, mentor, and friend, Claudette Sutherland. She has literally shown me the way to realize my dreams. She read through many drafts of the book, providing expert advice. Her class has been one of the pivotal experiences of my life. And thank you to my fellow students around that table: Frank Sharp, Adrienne Barbeau, Andrea Goyan, Dani Klein, Justin Jorgensen, Brooks Almy, John Miranda, David O’Shea, and Moon Zappa.

  Paula Killen is a valued friend, critic, and muse, as is Marcia Wilkie. They, along with Sarah Stanley, Doug Cooney, and Jill Soloway, read drafts of many chapters. Their feedback and encouragement had a profound effect on my writing and on the book.

  Two writing groups helped me greatly. The first was the Thursday group that met in my living room, and the second was a group who called themselves “The Disclaimers.”

  Thanks to dear friends Stephanie Young and Kerry Haynie, who gave me a room of my own.

  I want to thank all the women who meet for drinks on Fridays.

  That weekly happy hour is a highlight of any given week. The genesis of this book was really the desire to celebrate the love and laughter I experience in the midst of those friends. I have already thanked several of the joiners, but I am also deeply indebted to Bernadette Sullivan, Melanie Hutsell, Kelly Morris, and Josette Di Carlo.

  Thank you to the women who have shaped my life from adolescence on: Milly Gallagher, Karen Hill, Cathy Mathews, and again, Stephanie Young.

  My high school English teachers instilled in me a love of literature: Wilma Counts, Betty Kennedy, and Annie Schmidt.

  Thanks to my agents at UTA: Sue Naegle, Marissa Devins, and Larry Salz; as well as Farsh Askari and Tim Phillips.

  Thanks to Birds Restaurant, Christian Lebano, Jenny Bicks, Anne Etue, Tanya White, Dee Ryan, Kim Fitzgerald (for the iconic parenting joke), Judith Scott, Fabio Sehbe, and Mark Luther. And thanks to Edward Louis Luther, who could not be here today.

  Thank you to James Joyce and John Lennon for inspiring me with their exaltation of the word “yes.”

  Thank you to my husband, Patrick Towne, who believes that I can do anything. And who is my one true love.

  And thank you to my children, Spencer and Murphy, who are the answer to, and the reason for, everything.