by Sara Hess
I swallowed at his disclosure. Hearing about his other relationships twisted my stomach, just like it had when I’d gone online to dig into his life…why it twisted my stomach I ignored for a number of reasons…but I could feel myself getting sucked back in by his words. Evan had a way of making me forget why I shouldn’t let him in my life.
Fingers moved to caress down my side. “Up wasn’t up any longer because you are like no one I’ve ever met. There’s something between us that’s completely new to me; it’s strong, all-consuming…” The fingers slid under my shirt to the bare flesh of my quaking belly. “You take up all my thoughts, Shaw.”
He murmured these last words in my ear sending a full body shudder through me. My eyes flew open in shock to meet his searing amber ones and my breath felt like it was being held hostage in the back of my throat. Evan’s expression was rigid, his skin flushed, and his eyes fiery as he stared down at me.
“What do you want from me?” I repeated brokenly.
His other hand was still in my hair and he smoothed tendrils off my forehead with a startlingly gentle smile. “I want you, Shaw; all of you. I want to spend time with you; go out on dates, sit on the couch and watch movies with you, continue to swap stimulating banter, kiss, make-out, and make up for the way I roughly took your virginity.”
My heart tripped in my chest wanting to believe him, but it had been beat up too many times. “You probably said this to all those other girls?” I tried to put scorn in my tone but it just wasn’t there.
Earnestness replaced his smile as he shook his head. “I’ve never made this speech before in my life. I’ve done a few of those activities with the other women, minus the stimulating banter and virginity, but I’ve never put this much effort into having it…wanting it. And I’ll tell you this, Shaw, when one of them told me no thanks I accepted it and moved on putting them out of my mind. But when you said no to me I didn’t. The rest of those lunches I had with you all I wanted to do was drag you off somewhere and convince you to change your mind, so when I saw you again I told myself I wasn’t going to take no for an answer because there’s a connection between us that I haven’t been able to shake since I first met you.” He cupped my cheek and stared down at me intently. “I think you feel it too?”
He sounded so sincere that I was actually starting to believe him, but whether he was or wasn’t telling the truth didn’t really matter. “Evan, if you’re looking for a real relationship, you’re looking at the wrong girl. I don’t think I have it in me to have one of those. Life has chewed me up and spit me out. I’m one big mangled mess.” My head fell to the side away from him.
He angled my head back to his probing stare. “You’ve have a tough life and that’s made you strong, but you aren’t a mess. You’re a survivor, Shaw, and that’s one of the things drawing me to you. I was serious when I said you’re an amazing person. We have this crazy attraction going on between us; don’t you want to find out if it could be more?”
The admiration in his tone swelled and warmed my chest, but asking me to open myself up had it constricting. It meant that I was giving someone else the chance to wreck me more than I already was. If he was being truthful I know he couldn’t promise me anything. Evan had a bad track record and relationships flared and died all the time. He had already hurt me once; if I let him into my life further the damage he could inflict on me would be even more extensive. I don’t know if I could handle it a second time.
Evan leaned down and nibbled on my ear sending shivers and arousal zinging everywhere. “Take a chance on me, Shaw…on us.” His lips moved behind my ear and down my neck.
I inhaled a shuddery whimper. The way he was looking at me; the intensity, hunger and sincerity, it was making my resolve crumble. And then there was his touch; my body absolutely wanted to say ‘yes’, it wanted more of what he’d just done. I was weakening, my past neediness pushing forth.
Maybe I could hold a part of my heart separate so when he moved on I would be able to walk away somewhat intact.
Evan’s lips moved to my collarbone and my head unconsciously tilted back so he could have more of me.
“I guess…we could…try.” My mouth voiced all on its own, and my heart jumped in equal parts fear and anticipation. This was a disaster waiting to happen.
A growl vibrated in Evan’s chest and then his mouth was on mine, demanding my reciprocation. I let his lips and tongue drive all other thoughts and fears from my head. He was so very good at it. My body instantly ignited with raging desire, but then he was pulling away and setting his forehead to mine.
“I’ve got to stop this or I’m going to come in my pants.” He panted. “Watching you get off and lying on you has me on a hair trigger.”
I could feel his hard cock pressing insistently against my leg and it hadn’t gone unnoticed the entire time he’d been lying against me. It was one of the reasons why I was having such a difficult time concentrating or pushing him away. My desire for him made me pathetic where he was concerned, and he’d already overpowered my resolve, so why wasn’t he stripping me naked?
“Why are you stopping? Aren’t we going to have sex?” I asked in confusion.
His head lifted. “I didn’t come here for that, Shaw. Not that I wouldn’t love to…” His lips twisted with humor and his dick twitched on my leg. “But I just got done telling you I want more than your body so I’m not going to start this second chance with sex.”
His voice was husky and his amber gaze intent as he delivered that shocking statement. After just capitulating to him minutes ago he had to know I wouldn’t refuse another round, and I couldn’t believe he wasn’t going to take advantage of that.
Evan’s gaze sharpened. “Why do you look so shocked?”
I shrugged. “You have to know I wouldn’t have said ‘no’ to you and I’m just surprised.”
“I’m not like those assholes, Shaw.” He growled.
“I realize you’re not like them, but you are a guy and all guys want is sex.” I stared him in the eye daring him to lie and say it wasn’t.
Evan suddenly rolled off me to lie on his side, not touching me at all. I instantly missed the feel of him.
“I admit sex is always on my mind when I look at you, but it’s not all I want from you. Talking with you is like foreplay, Shaw, and that’s almost as good as the sex.” He grinned, but his gaze remained serious. “David told me about all the shit you had to put up with in high school; with that Ford asshole and his friends.”
I was going to kill David when I saw him.
Evan’s finger caressed my cheek. “Don’t be mad at him. All I learned was that the harassment I saw you enduring today has gone on longer than I like. One second of harassment is too long, but it explains why you’re so cynical, and I totally get it.” Bending down he gave me a soft kiss on my brow. “I’m going to show you that not all guys are like that. What those dicks did to you was fucked up, that guy is fucked up. I’m sorry I ruined your big moment today, but it’s been several hours and I think their tiny brains may have finally exploded with that ‘ah-ha’ light bulb, and I bet they’re feeling pretty damn stupid right now while at the same time nursing aching balls and bruises.”
Tears pricked at my eyes again at his tender touch, apology, and at what he’d done for me today. “I wasn’t really mad at you, per-say…I just wished I could have been the one to beat the crap out of him.”
The corner of his lip lifted. “How about I hold his arms and let you go at it? I bet a couple dozen nut punts would make you feel tons better.”
I grinned at his offer, and the visual, and couldn’t deny that it would. “That would eliminate years of therapy. Afterwards can we tie him to the flag pole naked and write slurs all over his body with permanent ink?”
“I say we go one better and tattoo them on; that’s even more permanent.” He was grinning but his eyes were sober.
My chest constricted. “That does sound better. We’ll have to put it on your to-do list right after me.�
�� The words flew from my mouth without thought and I stiffened at how stupid I was sometimes.
Evan’s brows rose in surprise and then he laughed and his forehead settled back on mine as he glared at me with heated humor. “That’s a date.”
I quirked my eyebrow teasingly. “What would we do for our second one, because I don’t think we could top that?”
“With both our brains on the task I think we could come up with a never ending supply of innovative things to do. We’d just have to be careful so we don’t get arrested.” His humor faded to solemnity. “Speaking of illegal…while I love that you were doing what you could to get back at those douche-dicks I don’t want to see you go to jail.”
“I know how to hide my tracks. I’m not going to go to jail.” I proclaimed with only a tad of arrogance.
“Shaw, everyone makes mistakes and all it takes is one. Don’t put yourself in that position because of those assholes.”
My lips thinned and I jerked up out of the bed. “You could have gone to jail for fighting with him so don’t be a hypocrite.”
Evan grabbed my hand before I could get far. Sitting on the edge of my bed he pulled me between his legs, clinching my waist. “The guys were hostile and confrontational. I had just cause.”
I rolled my eyes. “What are you, a lawyer?”
His expression was tight but a smile popped out at my retort. “I have been dealing with a lot of them in the last several months while working for Dan. At any rate, I think after today you probably won’t have too much trouble with them anymore.”
My eyes narrowed at his tone because it had held a heavy dose of future retribution rather than past ass-kicking enjoyment. “Did you do something else besides kick their asses?”
Innocence washed over his face way too quickly. “If I did are you going to be mad at me all over again?”
I frowned. “I don’t know…probably. You make me mad a lot. What did you do?”
Instead of looking troubled by that he laughed and squeezed my waist causing my heart to riot. “I made a call to the head of their Fraternity and informed them that if they didn’t get their assholes in check they would be looking at a huge civil suit and a shut down of their House.”
I stared at him skeptically. “I doubt if that scared them. I’m one girl.” A girl who’d had to come up with her own name.
“You’re one girl who’s owed a favor from Dan McKay, and his name makes people jump.”
I stared at Evan with not a small amount of astonishment. After I’d been a bitch to him he’d still used his resources to ensure my harassment was going to end, and he’d even made it sound like it was because of something I’d done. He was really starting to melt my insides.
Tilting my head I studied him. “Well, tell Dan and anyone else who might have helped…Thanks.”
“No problem.” Eyes solemn, he studied me. “Why does that ass, Ford, have a problem with you? I know guys who’ve lied about having had sex with girls they haven’t, but I’ve never known one to enlist so many other guys to lie about it.”
Stiffening, I looked over his head as shame burned through me. I didn’t like discussing that time in my life. “I guess he didn’t like being told ‘no’ thinking I’d said ‘yes’ to someone else.” I stated as succinctly as I could.
“You said something earlier about wishing you hadn’t done anything with him; do I take that to mean you did go out with the guy at one point?” He pressed.
Anger rose up alongside the shame and I pulled from his grip once more. “What, like a date? I don’t think what I did with him or anyone ever fell in the parameters of a date. I wasn’t worthy of a date, just a hook-up. He taught me just one more lesson on how stupid I was to trust anyone.” Evan snagged my hand and jerked me back, but this time folded me into his lap. “What the hell, Evan? You’re awfully handsy tonight. Quit hauling me around.” I growled, struggling in his hold.
“You are not stupid, or unworthy.” He growled back forcefully, and that had me pausing in my thrashing. “I think you’ve had shit luck with people, but that doesn’t make you stupid.”
I snorted. “It’s not just shit luck; it’s like I’m the shit and the fly’s converge.”
His grip tightened and suddenly he’d shifted me to where I was straddling him, and then his mouth was on mine, hot and aggressive. Electric desire shot everywhere taking the place of my anger, and I was kissing him back without any thought of refusal.
Maybe he’d changed his mind about having sex? If he had I was all for it.
I began rocking on his lap but then Evan pulled away eyeing me with heated, incensed eyes. “Don’t talk about yourself that way. Whenever you do I’m going to kiss the hell out of you to shut you up.”
I sneered back. “Now you’re being stupid, because I like it when you kiss the hell out of me.”
He was breathing hard after that kiss…so was I…and his eyes flared at my confession. Hauling me close again to where his hardness was back in the junction of my thighs he rocked forward causing tiny explosions of bliss to shoot from my core.
Taking my bottom lip he pulled it into his mouth and gave it a long suckle before releasing it. “I mean it, Shaw. Don’t talk about yourself that way. What I do to you will be pleasurable, but it will be a torturous pleasure that will make you learn your lesson.”
My stomach and womb clenched so violently it nearly caused me to have a mini-orgasm. Leaning into him and pushing my aching breasts into his hard chest I nipped at his ear and whispered, “Unfortunately, I’m one of those people who have to learn their lessons by example. Why do you think I’m so cynical?” I sucked on his earlobe like he did my lip.
Groaning, Evan’s hips punched up into me. I was spun and laid out on my bed again in one second flat, and then my shirt was up, my bra was down, and his mouth was devouring my breasts. I gave a surprised cry of pleasure as his lips, teeth and tongue went wild on my aching flesh; his tongue laved and circled, his teeth nipped, and his lips sucked and pulled. Soon I couldn’t control the sounds coming out of my mouth or the responses from my own body; I cried, whimpered, and mewled, while my body squirmed frenziedly.
“Damn, you’re fucking perfect.” He groaned around my flesh.
It wasn’t just my breasts he was playing with. His hand was down my pants yet again, sliding through the wetness I could feel spilling out of me. He was thrusting his finger into me and then pulling out to circle my pulsating nub, and then doing it again, and again, and again…
Everything he was doing was torture. I was pulling him closer one second and then pushing away the next. I don’t know how long he tormented me; minutes, hours, days, but my breasts and sex had combined to become one large nerve that screamed for reprieve.
Then suddenly I exploded, and it was soul-shattering. I screamed at the indescribably, agonizing ecstasy of it.
“Shitttt!” Evan groaned into my throat and his body went rigid on mine at the same time his hips pressed into my thigh. I felt his hard cock pulse through both my pants and his and then a warm wetness.
Weary and boneless I slumped, trying to catch my breath, and Evan lay just as still panting on top of me. This was the second time he’s gone out of his way to give me an orgasm without asking me to do it for him.
“You sure showed me.” I croaked after awhile.
“Don’t you forget it.” He grunted into my neck.
Warmth and happiness filled my chest and I tried to contain it. While being with Evan wasn’t leaving a bad taste in my mouth like it had with those other guys, I couldn’t allow myself to soften too much. Last time we’d done this he’d stabbed me in the chest. Hell, now that he’d gotten off, even if it was accidently, he was probably ready get out of here. It was standard guy procedure; get off, get gone.
Evan lifted his head off my chest and frowned at me. “Why did you just stiffen up under me? What’s wrong?”
I put a blank expression on my face. “It’s nothing…the situations just weird, and Carrie and Nic a
re in the other room.” I’d thrown that out as an excuse but now that I think about it, it was embarrassing. I knew how thin these walls were and they had to have heard me with how loud I’d been.
My face heated even more and Evan smirked. “Actually, I think I heard a door close right after your first scream so no worries there.”
“Great.” Closing my eyes I dropped my head on the bed in mortification. “I don’t know why I’m embarrassed, I’ve heard worse, and more, from them.”
Evan snickered and moved off me to lie on his side next to me. I peaked at him to see his head cupped in his hand staring down at me. It appeared he wasn’t planning on going anywhere any time soon. I shifted my bra and shirt over my still sensitive breasts in further awkwardness.
“Is that how you entertain yourself at night?” He grinned.
“No!” I exclaimed. God, could my face get any redder. Evan’s grin widen. I pointed to my earplugs on my bedside table. “I stick those things in at night, or my earbuds on during the day, or hum loudly if neither are readily available.” I turned on my side facing him.
His expression turned curious. “You look uncomfortable. Are you feeling weird because of what we did?”
“A little bit.” I admitted. “The only guy I’ve sat around and talked to in bed with is David.”
Evan scowled. “I know you guys never did anything, and that he’s gay, but that still bothers me for some reason.”
It seemed David had been spilling further secrets, but I let that one go since it was his secret to tell.
“He’s bi…remember.” I retorted. He chuckled and I noted his fingers were messing with my hair once again. “You’re always playing with my hair. What do you find so fascinating about it?” Because I found it utterly unmanageable.
Still grinning he pulled off my scrunchy causing my mass of curls to explode out like a confetti popper. “You’re hair is like wild fire and reminds me of you; untamed and beautiful.”
I shifted uncomfortably at his compliment pushing my hair off my face. “Are you a pyro, because wild fire is not beautiful; it’s destructive?” I knew I wasn’t all that beautiful either. I’d been told many times growing up that I was a weird looking kid.