The Legends of Greemulax

by Kimmy Schmidt

  “But I remember them from when we were kids,” Landon said. “And they looked just like that.” He pointed to the trap, where three distinct outlines now stood, calm. “Like us. But a little different.”

  It was much easier to make out the shape of them when they were closer. They did look like humans.… But how was that possible? Penn’s mixture of excitement and fear at the prospect of seeing dragons turned into complete confusion. Yeah, he wanted to see a dragon. But he’d also spent his whole life wondering about women—what they looked like, sounded like, how long their beards were, if his dreams about them were anything even close to reality—and now here they were?

  Penn couldn’t wait any longer. He had to get a closer look to confirm Landon’s theory. Penn crouched down and moved slowly so as not to attract the attention of the creatures. After all, it would be foolish for the boys to reveal themselves before they knew exactly what they were dealing with.

  But Penn couldn’t tear his eyes away from the trap, so he didn’t notice the stinkhole until it was too late. “Arrrgyle!” he called out in pain, sounding uncharacteristically Grabagorny as his left foot broke through the soft spot in the ground. It released a pocket of purple, smelly gas.

  Immediately, the creatures spun around and faced Penn, their big eyes blinking at him through the netting as they started to cough from the disgusting stench. For a brief moment, they all stood frozen, staring at one another in shocked surprise.

  “Hey! You over there!” the smallest one yelled to Penn. Her voice didn’t sound like sunshine anymore. It was loud and scary. “Help us! We’re trapped!”

  But the boys didn’t help. They panicked. And ran.

  “Wait!” the smallest one called out again, voice full of desperation. “Don’t go!”

  Penn was surprised by the sympathetic tug he felt at his heart, and he stopped short. But then his Grabagorn instinct kicked in. The creatures didn’t look menacing, but who knew what they were capable of? There was no way he was about to unleash them into North Greemulax to wreak havoc on the brotherhood! No, the right thing was to tell the elders about it. Grabagorn Prime would know what to do.

  Penn clambered down the hill. He didn’t even look back over his shoulder at the creatures, just in case seeing their sad eyes would make him change his mind.

  The boys ran to the caves at double speed, straight to the mess cavern, interrupting what looked like a very important meeting of the Grabagorn elders.

  A chorus of angry snorts, followed by the raising of fists, signaled that an intense competition was currently underway. Grabagorn Prime and Grabalook sat across a table from each other, making the meanest expressions they could muster. The rest of the elders stood around them in a circle, cheering. At the sound of a Grabagornian horn, they squared their shoulder and gripped each other’s hand, elbows on the table.

  The horn sounded once more, and the arm wrestling began. Grabagorns applauded as the two struggled to keep their forearms up, grunting with each action. Grabagorn Prime’s glasses were getting fogged up. And his arm was dangerously close to the table.

  Landon leaned into Penn and whispered, “This doesn’t seem like a good time to—”

  “Weaklinks!” Grabagorn Prime bellowed. “I was just about to stop letting him think he was going to win!” He jumped up, a loud thump sounding as his opponent’s hand crashed onto the table, and he stomped over to the boys.

  Grabagorn Prime smiled, then stiffened. “The boys need me. It’s urgent,” he called out. “I was obviously about to win, but now I must go.”

  Wow, Penn thought, they hadn’t even said anything and Grabagorn Prime knew what they had to tell him was important. He was such a great leader.

  Grabagorn Prime wiped sweat from his hairy brow and ushered the boys out of the cavern. “Okay, what’s up, Weaklinks?”

  Penn cleared his throat and went for it. “My trap caught something. Actually, three somethings.”

  “Dragons?!” Grabagorn Prime replied with surprise.

  “Well…” Penn looked up at him. “Not exactly.”

  “C’mon, boys, spit it out.” He was starting to look mad.

  Penn glanced at his friends to see if any of them might want to explain. They were all looking at the ground.

  Penn took a deep breath. “We think they might be… womenfolk.”

  Grabagorn Prime’s expression changed about ten times before landing on skeptical. “Show me,” he said.

  The entire way back to the trap, Grabagorn Prime kept insisting that the creatures were probably just large birds. He knew for a fact that every single woman had perished in the Great Scorch.

  “Every. Single. One,” he said. “All of them. Gone.”

  Penn didn’t want to argue with him, because he was in charge, after all. And he was enormous. But Penn knew that Grabagorn Prime was in for a shock. Large birds did not speak their language.

  By the time they arrived back at the trap, the sun was beginning to set over North Greemulax. It was the prettiest time—the golden hour. On a normal day, Penn would have been sitting with his friends, sharing a cup of grape juice as they watched the charred landscape turn from golden gray to golden dark gray to black. But today was anything but normal.

  “Hey, you came back!” shouted one of the creatures. It had red hair.

  “Let us out!” another demanded, poking its angry fists through the net. Penn began to feel incredibly guilty. This was not what the trap had been intended for.

  But Grabagorn Prime didn’t let them out.

  Instead, the big, blue leader pulled the boys aside. His face was alight with an excitement that Penn had never seen before. Grabagorn Prime almost looked… happy? “Boys, you did the right thing by coming to me first.” He stroked his wiry beard and narrowed his eyes. “But you were wrong. These aren’t large birds.… These are women.”

  “That’s what we—” Penn started.

  “You were wrong,” he repeated.

  Penn couldn’t wrap his mind around what was happening, even though he’d known in his bones the moment he laid eyes on them that those really were women. But how was it possible? “Didn’t the dragons kill all the women?”

  “It seems that a few of them escaped the Great Scorch,” Grabagorn Prime explained, as if he was telling them something as simple as what was on the menu for Later Day Meal. “It’s a miracle they have survived for this long without the protection of us Grabagorns! They are so fragile and weak.”

  The angry words coming from the trap suggested otherwise.

  “We can hear you!”

  “Rude!”

  “We’re not weak.”

  Grabagorn Prime brought the four boys into a huddle—the most sacred of bonds. “We will keep the women safe! Because that is our job as Grabagorns.”

  Penn and his friends all nodded their heads in agreement, since it seemed like Grabagorn Prime was looking for some kind of response from them.

  “Alright, then.” Grabagorn Prime broke the huddle and put his massive paws on his hips. “Now let’s move these womenfolk somewhere special.”

  “Let us out!” one of the taller women shouted from the bottom of the ten-foot pit they’d been moved to. “Enough is enough already!” She had long, brown hair. Penn had never seen anything so shiny. Except maybe the women’s outfits, which were glittery and made out of more colors than he previously believed to exist.

  “You can’t just throw us in a pit against our will,” the other tall one said. “There are rules!”

  “Oh, but I can!” Grabagorn Prime said. “And I did.”

  Brandon laughed.

  “Calm down, girls.” Grabagorn Prime used his most soothing voice as he kneeled at the edge and talked down to the women. “We know you’re scared. Don’t worry. We are Grabagorns and we are going to protect you. But you have to be good.”

  “Just let us go!” the other tall one growled. She had glowing yellow hair. “We have places to be, you know.”

  Grabagorn Prime belly-lau
ghed. “I forgot how charming womenfolk are when they get upset. It is very cute!” He shook his head with a smile and began to pace back and forth. “You ladies will be very comfortable in the pit.”

  The dark-haired one yelled, “You monsters!”

  Penn couldn’t help looking their way, and as he did, he locked eyes with the smallest one, the one with red hair. That tiny, nagging feeling telling Penn that something wasn’t right was still there. And that word: monster. Is that what they were? They did fight all day and live in a desolate wasteland.…

  Penn took a couple steps back, preferring that the women think he had nothing to do with the whole operation. That is, if women could have thoughts that complex. The way Grabagorns talked about womenfolk made it seem like they were pretty to look at but kind of dumb.

  “Don’t worry, boys,” Grabagorn Prime said as he pressed the button to activate the five men who carried the glass lid for the pit. “These women will be so much happier now that we’re keeping them safe from the wilds of Greemulax! Trust me.”

  “But what about the fire monsters?” Penn asked. “Can’t dragons breathe right through the glass?” He had a vision of glass melting and the women being anything but safe.

  Grabagorn Prime held up his index finger like he was going to say something important. Then he burped. And kept burping.

  “Agh, a new record! Everyone applaud that great burp.”

  The men rushed to seal the lid in place so they could clap enthusiastically. The twins laughed. Marcus had the hiccups. Penn had always trusted Grabagorn Prime—he was their leader. He was a good leader. But a seed of doubt had been planted. And then Penn realized that while Grabagorn Prime had looked happy to see the women, he hadn’t looked all that surprised.

  Kristy stretched her arms above her head and jumped. “I can’t reach it! It’s too high!” Her red hair bounced around her shoulders as she tried again to reach the glass ceiling of the pit. This time she got a few inches higher, but it made no difference. This was a very deep pit.

  “Maybe I should take a running start?” But Kristy had to face facts. She was too short. She was only eleven and a half—the youngest Rainbow Knight ever. It was pretty silly to think she might be able to reach the top when Exthippiane Porheep and Jackelion, who were much taller and older than her, had already tried and failed. But Kristy believed she could achieve anything if she tried hard enough! She’d learned that in the Rainbow Knight handbook. She’d also learned about glitter-making, puzzle-solving, and—most importantly—protecting the vulnerable. She’d read the book cover to cover four times just last week. The illustrations were the best. And she was a big fan of the table of contents.

  Unfortunately, there was nothing in the book about escaping from Grabagornian pits.

  “We’re doomed,” Exthippiane, whom they all called “X,” said with a sigh. X picked at a patch of dried mud on her rainbow skirt, which was part of the Rainbow Knight uniform. They also wore tall silver boots and leggings, and polished metal armor. (Kristy occasionally accessorized hers with a colorful cardigan, too.) But something was off with X’s face and hands. Ever since they’d gotten trapped, she seemed to be… fading.

  Jackelion wasn’t looking very well, either. The tall blond was usually the epitome of poise and confidence, even in the worst situations. But being trapped in a deep pit with a glass ceiling with only one small square for air was wreaking havoc on her skin and her attitude.

  “Why did the trolley have to malfunction right over Grabagorn territory?” Jackelion asked. “I mean, really. Of all places. Now we have to escape North Greemulax all over again.”

  Kristy had never been to North Greemulax. Well, she had been born there, but she was just a baby when they left, so she didn’t remember a thing about it. She was sort of reeling at the fact that they’d just been captured by actual Grabagorns, but there was no time to think about that.

  “I’ve been telling you for months that Trolley 4 is the worst Rainbow Knight patrol trolley in the fleet,” said X, rolling her eyes. “We should have gotten it fixed—or replaced—a long time ago.”

  Jackelion frowned. “X, you were the one who was supposed to—”

  “Ladies!” Kristy interrupted. “What are Rainbow Knights famous for?”

  Jackelion and X exchanged a look and shrugged.

  “Helping people in need?” offered X.

  “Silver armor and rainbow skirts?” Jackelion tried.

  “Yes. But Rainbow Knights are also always thinking outside the box! Or in this case, outside the pit. Hah! Get it?”

  Jackelion shook her head. “We can’t just think ourselves outside this pit, Kristy, you poor little dear.”

  “And all of our tools are still in the trolley,” X added.

  “No, no, just listen: All we need to do,” Kristy continued, “is get someone on the outside to understand our situation. Then they’ll help us.”

  “Who would do such a thing?” Jackelion laughed. “Those boys? They were already turning into Grabagorns. You know that once the process begins, it’s very hard to make them see sense.”

  X, who was kind of moody (she even covered all the yellow in her Rainbow Knight uniform black because yellow was “just too bright” for her), kicked at the ground and mumbled, “It’s definitely too late. Those boys have already been lost to the monster inside them. They won’t help us.”

  Even though Kristy had only been a Rainbow Knight for a year, and even though she knew that she should listen to her wisers, she also knew that these particular wisers didn’t always see the bigger picture. What if they were wrong about the boys? And Kristy had complete faith in her plan.

  There was something she had learned from the Rainbow Knight handbook that could help: the Power of One. According to the Power of One, if you helped one person be good, you might have an impact on the people around that person, too. One person could change the world. And they only needed one person to change their world right then. “Just trust me,” she insisted.

  Kristy wasn’t sure why, but she knew it would work. She had seen something in the eyes of the little one that gave her hope. “What do we have to lose? Nothing!” Kristy stomped her silver boot for emphasis.

  X and Jackelion couldn’t argue with that.

  About an hour later, as Kristy was passing the time by counting tree branches even though X and Jackelion had asked her to please stop, they heard footsteps.

  Four shadowy outlines peeked over the edge.

  “Hey, guys!” Kristy popped to her feet. She gave them her friendliest smile to let them know that she was a very nice person and meant no harm. “What’s up? Whatcha doin’?”

  They just stared at her.

  “Did a dragon get your tongue?” Kristy joked. But that was clearly the wrong thing to say, because the boys took off, again, leaving the women alone, again.

  Jackelion waved goodbye to their shadows. X shrugged.

  “Hot fudge!” Kristy cursed. She kicked a rock in defeat and plopped down on the ground. What were they going to do now? “If they won’t even listen to me, then we truly are doomed.” It was rare for Kristy to give up easily, and it didn’t feel good at all. Giving up was not her jam. Her jams were grape and strawberry, end of sentence. You heard me, apricot, she thought. “I was sure that would work. I was thinking outside the pit.”

  “Yeah, no,” X said. “We knew it wouldn’t work. The women left North Greemulax for a reason.”

  Suddenly, one of the boys reappeared. “What did you just say?” he squeaked. His eyes were wide with interest.

  He was still there. The one whose eyes had given her hope. Woot! Kristy sprang back to her feet. “About thinking outside the pit?” she asked.

  “Um, no… the thing about the women leaving?” the boy replied, a little louder.

  Yes, yes, yes! They had hooked him! Kristy winked at the other knights and then slowly looked up at the boy. She was careful not to make any sudden moves, since he seemed quite nervous. She had been told that men som
etimes get mad when they’re scared.

  “Do you want to hear about the Grape Escape?” she asked. “Why don’t you help us out of here and I’ll tell you all about it.”

  “The Great Escape? Is that like the Great Scorch?”

  “No, the Grape Escape!” Kristy said. “Wait, what’s the Great Scorch?”

  They regarded each other, Kristy from the bottom of the pit, Penn from the pit’s edge. Her neck was starting to cramp.

  The boy bit his lip. He was clearly confused. And conflicted.

  Who knew what those big Grabagorns would do to him if he got caught helping them? Or even talking to them? Kristy couldn’t think about that now. She needed his help.

  “What’s your name?” she asked. “I’m Kristy.”

  He hesitated. “I’m Penn. And I… just don’t understand how you’re even here. Women can’t survive without Grabagorns to protect them!”

  Kristy could feel X’s eyes roll.

  “Listen, kid,” Jackelion started, but Kristy motioned for her to shush.

  “Penn, why don’t you tell us what the Great Scorch is, and we’ll tell you about the Grape Escape. That seems fair, right?”

  Penn nodded. He told them about the dragon invasion, and Kristy used her shush hand quite a lot because X and Jackelion were having a hard time keeping it together when they heard the lies the boy had been told. He finished by describing the Great Scorch, when the dragons scorched North Greemulax, killing all the women.

  “Now come closer and let me tell you about the Grape Escape,” Kristy said. Penn lay down on the glass and put his ear near the square hole that had been cut for airflow. This looked incredibly silly from below, with his body smooshed up against the glass, but Kristy didn’t mention it.

  “Okay, so you know how you were told that all the women died in the Great Scorch?” Kristy began. “Well, we didn’t. Not all of us. Obviously! Because we’re here!”

  As the youngest in her community, Kristy never got to tell this story to someone who hadn’t heard it before. This was her big chance. “See, Penn, the first thing you should know is that the dragons didn’t attack North Greemulax. They were trapped in North Greemulax.”