The Accidental Vampire Plus Vampires Are Forever and Bonus Material

by Lynsay Sands

  “No,” the Italian assured them, leading them forward once more. “Is more comfortable for two, but four can fit.”

  “There are five of us,” Edward reminded him and everyone screeched to a halt.

  Elvi closed her eyes, feeling the seconds tick away. They weren’t going to make it. They may as well—

  “Elvi can sit on my lap,” Victor announced and the group immediately started forward again, including Elvi, but she was only moving because Victor had her by the arm. Her feet were definitely dragging. Sit on his lap? No way. She hardly knew him. Besides, that was illegal she was sure. And what about seat belts? She was not sitting on his lap.

  Ten

  “Comfortable?”

  Elvi heard the muttered question from Victor. She even felt his breath brush against her lobe as he asked, but she didn’t stop clutching him and lean back to answer. She stayed where she was, plastered against his chest, head burrowed near his neck, face turned toward the driver’s side of the front seat as she stared with a horrified fascination at the car’s speedometer.

  Glancing sideways, Alessandro caught her eye and beamed. “I drive fast, no?”

  Elvi heard what might have been a whimper issue from her lips and returned her eyes to the control panel. The man didn’t drive fast, he drove at light speed. She could see the speedometer from where she sat hunched on Victor’s lap in the front passenger seat. It was in miles per hour, not the kilometers she was used to. The speedometer went as high as 155 mph and could actually go that fast. She knew this because this was what Alessandro was doing. She’d never before seen telephone poles go by so fast they became a blur.

  Elvi turned her face into Victor’s shoulder, her hands clutching a little more frantically as they hit a curve in the road and Alessandro took it without slowing. With her mouth pressed into Victor’s shoulder, she could now see the two men crammed into the backseat. The car had a backseat of sorts, obviously not intended and certainly not by two such large men. Edward and Harper didn’t look very comfortable back there, but Harper did manage a weak smile as he grabbed for anything he could get his hands on to keep from being thrown into Edward’s lap by the centrifugal force.

  As for Edward, he sat, expression grim, furious eyes burning holes into the back of Alessandro’s head.

  A flashing light drew her attention to the back window, and Elvi’s eyes widened in alarm. “Police!”

  She glanced toward Alessandro to see him glancing with unconcern in the rearview mirror. He eased up on the gas, allowing the car to slow and the police car to catch up, then smiled her way.

  “No worry. I handle him quick,” he assured her, then turned his attention back to the rearview mirror, his gaze becoming concentrated.

  Confusion clouding her mind, Elvi glanced back to the road in time to see the police lights suddenly go out and the car turn and head back the way it had come. Alessandro immediately sped up again.

  “What did you do?” she asked, turning on him with amazement.

  “I just put suggestion in his head, he maybe wanna go find doughnuts,” Alessandro said with a shrug. “Police, they like doughnuts here, no?”

  “You—!” Elvi began with dismay, but the berating she would have given him for controlling a member of the police department died in her throat, replaced by a whimper as they hit another curve and she was thrown backward. She would have slammed into the passenger door if Victor hadn’t caught her and pulled her swiftly back to his chest.

  “Just hang on,” he murmured by her ear. “The ride will be over soon.”

  Elvi swallowed the reprimand she’d wanted to give Alessandro and held on. She inhaled a shaky breath and closed her eyes, then opened them and inhaled again, eyes widening slightly at Victor’s tantalizing scent. She didn’t know what it was, but it was spicy and really delightful and she found herself pressing closer and inhaling again. It was Harper’s raised eyebrows right behind her that made her realize what she was doing and that it had been witnessed.

  Flushing, Elvi forced herself to sit up a little, only to be thrown against Victor’s chest, then slide down his lap to land tangled in his legs as Alessandro suddenly swerved off the road and slammed on the breaks.

  “We are here, no?” the Italian asked, peering down at her cheerfully.

  Elvi stared up at him with disbelief, then grasped the dashboard with one hand and Victor’s knee with the other and managed to drag herself back up to peer around, relieved to see the big yellow furniture store sign.

  “Yes,” she breathed, grateful the ride from hell was over.

  Victor opened the door, grasped her by the waist, and lifted her out, handing her to Harper who had hopped out of the back and was waiting to help.

  The second vampire set her on her feet beside the car and then held her long enough to be sure she had her feet beneath her before letting go and stepping away as Victor unfolded himself from the car to join them. Elvi muttered a “thank you” to both men, then turned and scurried for the store, doing her best to forget that she had to get back into that vehicle later.

  Thanks to Alessandro’s speeding, they slid through the doors just as the manager approached, no doubt intending to close shop. Elvi offered him an apologetic glance.

  “We’ll be quick,” she promised, making a beeline for the beds. The men followed in her wake.

  “Is there something I can help you with?” the manager asked, hustling to catch up to her.

  Elvi was about to answer when she felt a hand on her arm and glanced to Victor with surprise at the proprietary move.

  “We need a bed,” he announced.

  “Yes, of course,” the manager said. She supposed that was obvious, since they had hurried through the whole store to the beds at the back. “We have some lovely beds. What size are you interested in?

  “King,” Elvi answered promptly. She could hardly wait to sprawl on one of those huge surfaces again, unrestrained by side panels or a lid, surrounded only by a big soft comforter and luxurious pillows…God, her toes tingled at the very idea.

  “This is a popular model,” the manager said, pointing at the first of the beds.

  Elvi stared, taking in the sheer size. To her it was like an ocean of bed after five years in her cramped coffin.

  “Try it,” Alessandro suggested. “You must to try before you buy.”

  “He’s right,” the manager offered when Elvi hesitated.

  Nodding, she handed her purse to Victor, paused to take a breath, and threw herself on the bed. If the men hadn’t been standing their watching, she would have rolled and flopped about in her excitement. She could throw out her coffin. She could sleep in an ocean of sheets…. ohhhhh. Silk, she thought, imagining sliding around in a silk sea…or satin.

  Blinking her eyes open, she found herself staring at five men all watching her expectantly.

  “It’s all right,” Elvi murmured, forcing herself to get up and straighten her clothes. “I’ll take it.”

  “Don’t you think you should try the others as well?” Victor suggested mildly, killing the glee on the manager’s face before it had fully formed.

  “Yes, definitely you must try them all,” Harper said.

  “Yes,” the manager said on a regretful sigh. “It’s better to try at least a couple before picking one.”

  Elvi turned to peer over the number of beds, her eyes wide.

  “We will help,” Victor assured her.

  “How is that bed?” Harper asked several moments later. “This one seems comfortable.”

  Elvi sat up on the bed she was presently trying out and which seemed ridiculously hard to her, and glanced over to where Harper sat, bouncing lightly on another model.

  “Perhaps I can save you some trouble,” the manager said, wincing as Alessandro dove onto yet another bed. “Do you and your wife prefer a hard or soft bed, sir?”

  Elvi glanced over with surprise when he addressed Victor with the question. She had no idea why he would assume they were a couple. Unless it was
because she and Victor seemed to keep gravitating toward the same beds, each laying down on opposite sides, Elvi taking the right and Victor the left.

  Sitting up beside her on the bed, Victor didn’t correct the man’s misconception; he merely turned a raised eyebrow her way.

  “Soft,” she said decisively and stood to move to the bed Harper was now lying on. Elvi sat on the side opposite him, swung her feet up and lay down.

  “This is better than the last one,” she announced, then added, “I’m not sure though. I might want something softer.”

  “Let me see.” Victor patted her leg to urge her over.

  Elvi shifted closer to the center of the bed, making room for him. She watched him lie down, and then turned to peer up at the ceiling overhead; contemplating if this was as comfortable as the bed she’d given up five years ago. In her memories, it had been like lying on a cloud.

  “It might be too firm,” Victor said.

  “We do have softer beds,” the manager announced. “The ones you’ve been trying are at the firmer end of the scale.”

  “Show us.” Elvi skated to the end of the bed on her bottom to get up. She was extremely grateful that she’d thrown on jeans this morning. One of her ridiculous gowns would have been impossible to maneuver in.

  “Here we are,” the manager announced, leading them to a bed set off by itself. “This is the best bed we sell. There’s no turning necessary and it has a twenty-year warranty.”

  Elvi climbed on and settled on her back almost in the middle of the bed.

  “Oh,” she sighed as the bed embraced her. “This is lovely.”

  Victor and Harper immediately moved up on either side to try it as well, but this time Alessandro also got in, crawling up the middle to squeeze himself between her and Harper.

  “Oh yes,” Harper murmured.

  “Si,” Alessandro sighed. “This is nice. I will get one too. Do you ship to Toronto?”

  “Yes, we do,” the manager said cheerfully, then cautioned. “However, you should really try it in whatever position you normally sleep in. If you prefer to sleep on your side, for instance, it’s good to try it that way. How do you normally sleep?”

  Elvi grimaced. “I used to sleep on my right side in a bed, but for the last five years I’ve been stuck in the coff—”

  “Everyone roll to your right,” Victor barked, cutting her off before she could mention her casket, and she recalled that they weren’t in Port Henry where everyone knew what she was. The man would think she was nuts if she started yipping about coffins and vampires.

  Grimacing, Elvi rolled to her right even as the men did, and settled down on the bed with her arm under her head in place of a pillow, her eyes on the back of Alessandro’s head.

  “You know, this reminds me of a movie I once saw,” Edward murmured, peering down at them thoughtfully. He stood on one side of the bed, the manager on the other.

  “What movie is that?” Elvi asked curiously.

  “I can’t recall the title, but it was x-rated.”

  Elvi blinked, and then flushed as she realized that she was rolling around in a bed with three men. Brilliant. Flushing, she sat up and scooted off the bed.

  “She’ll take this one,” Victor said as he too got to his feet. He cast a scowl Edward’s way once upright.

  “Yes, I will.” Elvi began to dig in her purse for her wallet.

  “Wonderful!” The manager turned to lead the way toward the service counter where a lone woman sat waiting impatiently for them to either buy something or leave.

  “Will you be taking it with you or do you need it delivered?” he asked, grabbing an invoice off the counter and beginning to write on it.

  “Delivered,” Elvi said at once and handed over her credit card. There was no way they were transporting it with Alessandro’s little car. Unfortunately, she’d have to sleep in the coffin one more night.

  “I’ll need your address.”

  Elvi rattled off her address, her gaze slipping over her shoulder and back toward the bed. It was a beautiful bed and so comfortable…She couldn’t wait to sleep in it.

  “Port Henry?” the manager murmured as he handed back her credit card. “Let’s see. We deliver there on Wednesdays. How’s this Wednesday?”

  Elvi’s head whipped back with horror.

  “Wednesday?” she squawked. It was a ridiculously expensive bed and for the price she was paying, Elvi had hoped to at least be able to get it the next day. She feared her voice was desperately whiney as she asked, “Can’t they deliver it tomorrow?”

  “Tomorrow is Sunday,” he pointed out, and then added with a frown, “we don’t deliver on Sunday. And we only deliver to Port Henry on Wednesdays.”

  Elvi stared at him nonplussed. She couldn’t believe she was going to have to wait until Wednesday to sleep in a bed. She couldn’t wait until Wednesday. She’d spent five years in a coffin when she needn’t have. One more night, she might be able to handle. But four was asking too much.

  “You’ll deliver the bed tomorrow,” Victor said calmly.

  Elvi glanced at him in surprise, but her gaze shot back to the manager as he said, “We’ll deliver the bed tomorrow.”

  “No,” she said sharply as she realized that Victor had to be somehow controlling the man just as Alessandro had controlled the police officer and made him stop pursuing them. There was no way the sales manager had changed his tune so quickly without some incentive unless Victor had somehow made him. The fact that the woman behind the counter was gaping at the man as if he’d suddenly sprouted another head, also seemed to suggest this wasn’t normal. And as badly as she wanted the bed delivered tomorrow, Elvi wasn’t willing to get it this way.

  Catching at Victor’s arm, she hissed, “No, Victor.”

  “You need a bed,” he said simply.

  “Here you are, all set.”

  Elvi glanced around to see the manager holding out her copy of the invoice. “It will be there tomorrow afternoon if I have to deliver it myself. Thank you for shopping here.”

  “Thank you.” Victor took the receipt Elvi refused to accept.

  “Victor,” she said grimly, but he simply turned her toward the exit.

  “You can’t do this,” Elvi protested as he urged her out of the building.

  “Relax,” he murmured, steering her toward the car. “You paid for the bed and delivery.”

  “That’s not the point,” Elvi snapped, coming to a halt on the parking lot pavement and turning on him. Spotting the other men watching with fascination, she paused, and then glanced around before grabbing Victor’s arm and urging him away and around the building out of sight.

  Elvi made it a practice never to argue with, or berate, someone in front of others. To her mind it was embarrassing and no matter how angry she got, there was no reason to humiliate someone that way.

  Pausing on the grass between the building on one side and the trees on the other, Elvi turned to face him, took a breath for patience and sought her mind for an argument to make him see what he was doing was wrong.

  “It’s wrong,” she blurted finally.

  Heaving a deep sigh, Victor shifted his stance and crossed his arms as if his patience was being tested here rather than hers.

  “What’s wrong about it exactly?” he asked. “You bought a bed, you paid for it, you paid for delivery and are getting delivery when you want. It’s not like you got the bed for free or anything.”

  “Yes, but they don’t deliver on Sundays.”

  “Apparently now they do,” Victor said mildly.

  “No they don’t,” Elvi said shortly. “You—you influenced him.”

  He cocked one eyebrow. “Influenced him?”

  Elvi made an impatient gesture. “I don’t know what it is exactly you people do, but you did something, because they don’t deliver on Sundays and only deliver to Port Henry on Wednesdays.”

  “Elvi, do you really want to wait until Wednesday for the bed?”

  She scowled. “Of cour
se not, but that’s not the point.”

  “What is the point, then?” he asked growing impatient.

  “You made him do something he didn’t want to do,” she said.

  “How do you know? Maybe he really wanted to deliver it for you tomorrow. Besides, what does it matter? No one is hurt by this.”

  “How do you know?” Elvi shot back. “Maybe whoever he forces to deliver it tomorrow had something else he had to do and can’t do now. Maybe it’s his daughter’s birthday and now he’s going to miss it, and his wife will be upset, and it will all end in divorce. Or maybe someone he loves is in hospital and he would have visited them, but won’t be able to and the person dies and he missed out on seeing that person one last time.”

  “Dear God,” Victor muttered and shook his head with disbelief. “You think way too much.”

  Elvi ground her teeth together and said, “So where does it end?”

  Confusion crossed over his face. “Where does what end?”

  “Are you controlling me too?” she asked.

  “Of course not,” he waved the idea away as ridiculous.

  “No? How do I know?”

  “I wouldn’t do that,” Victor assured her firmly.

  “Really? Why not? You controlled him.”

  “He is mortal.”

  Elvi stiffened. “Until five years ago I too was mortal,” she pointed out coldly, and then glared. “You know what you are? You’re a.. a…mortalist.”

  “A mortalist?” Victor echoed. “What the hell is that?”

  “It’s like a racist only—” Elvi’s explanation died in her throat as something suddenly pierced the air in front of her face. Blinking, she stared at the feathered shaft trembling between them, and then followed it to the tip that was buried in the sign on the side of the building beside them.

  “What—argh!” Elvi ended with surprise as Victor suddenly pushed her to the ground, coming down on top of her.

  Covering her with his own body, he raised his head and peered around, eyes narrowed as he tried to spot the source of the arrow that had just missed them.

  “Er…Victor?” Elvi pushed at his shoulder ineffectually. Finally, she gasped, “I can’t breathe!”