Ryder

by Amy Davies

  Exactly what I wanted, I can always count of Dallas for an enjoyable night.

  Me: I have been busy but yeah we can meet up. You busy tomorrow night. We can meet somewhere?

  He doesn’t know about Demi; we went on a few dates a few months back but it didn’t go anywhere. I wouldn’t sleep with him and he understood that but I felt bad and we had a long chat and decided to go our separate ways. We arrange a place and time to meet up for drinks and I text Quinn and ask her to watch Demi for me, which of course she agrees to do. Game time. I update my Facebook status.

  Letty Shaw – Looking forward to a few drinks tomorrow night with an old friend, hope he knows how to bring his A-Game ;)

  Boom, how’s them apples Ryder Phoenix?

  Quinn likes my status and so does a few other friends. My heart skips a beat when I get a notification that Ryder likes my status and comments.

  Ryder Phoenix – Hope you have a nice time with your guy friend, nice to know where I stand with you!!!!!

  My stomach drops to my feet and tears fight to be let loose. How can he hurt me with a few words in just a short amount of time? So it’s ok for him to meet up with other girls but I can’t meet up with other men? Ok, I understand that he didn’t actually say he was going to call her but he winked and that meant he was, right? I delete the status and close down my laptop and head for my room, after getting into my pajamas, I climb into bed and read a book I started a few days ago. Cursed Love by T. H Snyder. God. I need myself a Linc. All hot and tatted. Yummy, just like Ryder. Fucking, shit.

  Demi wakes me the next morning before my alarm. Nothing like have a human alarm, who doesn’t like to sleep in. I lift my phone off the bedside table and see that it’s only five-thirty. Reaching for Demi I start tickling her; she giggles and thrashes her arms and legs about.

  “Mama stop please…” I laugh and pick her up throwing her over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes and head for the kitchen. I sit Demi at the table and start her breakfast. She is off to day care today as I have a full day of work. Quinn is going to babysit tonight while I go for a few drinks with Dallas. I am hoping that he doesn’t think it is going anywhere and I will explain that as soon as we met up. I know it was wrong of me to use him like this but Ryder’s winky hurt me. God I am feeling so stupid. Fucking feelings, why do we have them? Wouldn’t life be easier if we didn’t feel anything?

  After dropping Demi off at day care I walk to work. Ben, Bree and Ruth are all in this morning; every morning it’s all hands on deck. It’s Loren’s morning off so it’s just us four. Once we open the doors we have a steady flow of customers getting their morning java in all forms. I’m in the kitchen stacking more mugs freshly cleaned from the dishwasher when Ben comes through the door frowning, he takes the tray from me.

  “Why don’t I take these out front and you have a break? You have been on your feet all morning” He shoves me towards the back door. He keeps looking over his shoulder towards the door; what is he keeping me from? While he now holding the tray of mugs, I slip past him and push through the door. I stop dead in my track when I see Ryder and a blond sitting at a window table, laughing. My chest feels heavy and my stomach tightens. So my assumptions were smack on the dot. Bastard. Taking a deep breath and squaring my shoulders I head over to their table and see if they want a refill.

  Ryder sees me coming and his whole body tenses. “Good morning, can I get you two a refill or maybe a pastry to go with your morning coffee?” I ask in the sweetest voice I can muster up. The blond looks at me and smiles.

  “Oh yes please and can I have one of those toffee muffins please” I smile and nod even though my insides are screaming at me to whack this bitch. I look towards Ryder who is just staring at me.

  “And you?” I smile even thought my insides are trembling. Ryder blinks a few times and then catches himself and smiles at me.

  “Yeah, I will take a sugary pastry; I need a sugar rush after I burned all my energy last night” He winks at the girl. I swallow the huge tennis ball size lump in my throat and turn to get their order. I catch Ben glaring at Ryder but I touch his arm and shake my head; he is such an awesome stand in big brother. Heading back over to their table, I can see that the girl is saying something to Ryder and he is frowning slightly.

  I fill their mugs with fresh coffee and place their muffins on the table. I turn to walk away but Ryder calls my name, I close my eyes and take a deep breath before turn back to face them.

  “Yes?” He looks me right in the eyes and with that he replies.

  “Can we have the check please? I need to get this one home and back to bed” He winks at the girl, who looks as if she has been slapped across the face. I speed back to the counter and fetch their bill, I return to their table and they are standing already. I hand the bill to Ryder and as our fingers touch a spark runs through my arm and I wrench it back, I know Ryder feels it to because he is looking at me. He takes money out of his wallet and hands me the money and bill.

  “Keep the change.” He looks at the girl. “You ready?” She nods and looks towards the floor.

  I’m not sure what emotions are flashing across her face, guilt, and remorse maybe? Is she the girl from the comment last night? Shit, he really did find trouble last night I know right then that there will never be a Ryder and me. My face must show my realization because Ryder touches my elbow.

  “You ok, Letty?” I shrink away from him and he flinches at my reaction, looking between him and the girl. I shake my head.

  “I hope trouble was worth it. Goodbye Ryder.”

  I turn and walk back through to the kitchen, turning my back on Ryder Phoenix and turning my back on a relationship that I would surely not survive.

  Chapter 9

  Ryder

  I feel sick to my stomach as we leave The Hot Pot. I feel like a total fucking bastard for making Letty think I spend the night with Sophie, which I didn’t. Sophie smack’s my arm and then drags me to her car, which is a little pink Prius. I hated riding in it this morning but I got so drunk last night that I was still unable to drive this morning so Sophie brought me to get coffee and try and sober up a little.

  After Letty’s Facebook status last night I lost it. She didn’t want to be with me but she wanted to go out with different guys? I think fucking not. I’m not sure what her and this guy’s history is but I am sure as hell gonna find out even if Letty's goodbye to me did sound pretty final. I tried to go after her when she walked towards the kitchen, but Sophie stopped me and so did the guy that works there.

  “You are a total dickhead, Ryder Phoenix. Why would you do that to that girl? She was so sweet. Sh… oh shit! That’s her isn’t it, that’s Letty?” I nod and slide into the passenger seat of her car. “I swear to God Ryder, if you weren’t my cousin and I didn’t love you. I would kick your ass right now. She thinks we slept together; God, that poor girl.” She starts the care and shakes her head “Poor girl”

  Meet Sophie Davies, Oscar’s baby sister. They are very close in age, there being just eleven months between them. Uncle Roger and Auntie Lisa were "at it like bunnies", my dad always used to say. After having Oscar and Sophie so close together they were careful until fifteen years ago when Auntie Lisa became pregnant again with Kurtis. He is just as wicked as all of us.

  “Yeah, that was her Soph, I’m sorry for putting you in that position. I never should have. She ties me up in knots; she makes me feel things that no other girl has before and that scares the piss out of me. I know I want what Rafe has with Lucy but I can’t help but feel apprehensive about it. In the short time I have known Letty, and even Demi, I can see my future with them. I am just worried that if I screw up again, that not only will I hurt Letty but Demi also” I rub my chest to help ease the tightness that’s there. Sophie gives me a quick look before looking back to the road.

  “You like her that much, huh?” I nod.

  “Yeah, Soph, I do.”

  “Then I would say go and have a chat with Mr-Settled-Down and see if he can sh
ed some light on these feeling and concerns that you have. I’m going to head back to campus and try and catch up on some of my assignments. Maybe I can meet you boys at Max’s tonight?”

  “Yeah, we don’t have a gig booked but we will head down there for a drink later. I will text you a time when I speak to the boys.” I kiss her cheek and I climb out of her car outside my apartment building that I share with Rafe, Reeve and Gunner. I bend down and look through the window. “I am sorry Sophie and thanks for helping me last night.” I blow her a kiss and walk towards my apartment.

  Opening my front door I am hit with loud moans; fucking great Reeve and Skeet are banging some chick again. I head over to the fridge and grab a bottle of water out. Twisting the cap off and taking a long drink, I choke at what I hear.

  “Oh God yes Rafe! Harder baby please. Fuck yeah, right there…” I spit my water all over the kitchen floor and burst out laughing. Well, what do you know? Rafe and Lucy are having a mid-morning quickie.

  “Fucking come for me Snowflake, come on baby, you gonna come hard for me, baby?” I laugh to myself again and head towards the door. I am gonna be a total dick again now and it’s gonna be epic. See as I have said before, I love baiting Rafe when it comes to Lucy. I place the bottle on the counter and head to Rafe’s room. I wait for the perfect moment and then I make my move.

  I swing Rafe’s bedroom door open and start screaming. “Yes Lucy, I’m coming baby. Come with me!” I shout and make my way over to the bed with my hand down the front of my jeans. Lucy screams and Rafe scrambles for the sheet to cover their bodies. Lucy is hysterical laughing while Rafe looks as if he is ready to kill me and bury my body where no one is going to find me. I sit on the edge of the bed and wink at Lucy.

  “You fucking dick, Ry. What the hell was that? I was making love to my girl and you cock block me. What kind of brother are you, dude?” A small smile slides across his face and he pulls Lucy tight into his body. Once he is sure Lucy is covered, he asks why I’m here.

  “I thought you were spending the morning with Soph” I pull at the frayed patch of my jeans.

  “What did you do, Ryder?” This comes from Lucy; I look at her and then back to my jeans.

  “We went to The Hot Pot for coffee and Letty was there and I may or may not having led to her believe that I slept with Sophie.” I pull my ball cap the right way and down low over my eyes so I don’t have to look Lucy in the eyes.

  “Jesus. What the hell were you thinking, Ry?”

  “I wasn't ok. Some shit went down yesterday with Letty and me. Let’s just say I screwed up. I handled a few things wrong and hurt Letty and she has Demi with her. She asked for some time but then me being me, took it as a slow let down and said, fuck it. And then this morning I made it worse”

  Rafe stands butt ass naked and pulls his sweats on and hands Lucy her panties and dress. They both stop and look at me.

  “What?” I say looking between them.

  “My girl needs to get dressed, bro. We will meet you in the living room.” I wink at Lucy and leave his room. I get my opened bottle of water and throw myself on the couch. Cane jumps onto my stomach knocking the wind out of me. Freaking dog.

  “Shit boy, kill me while you’re at it why don’t you” I scratch his belly and wait for my brother and Lucy to join me. Rafe and Lucy join me not long after. My brother scowls at me because I know he has blue balls right now. They both sit in the chair Lucy sitting on Rafe’s lap I swear since they have been together her ass hasn’t touched another seat.

  “Ok, so I’ll start from what happened yesterday I followed Letty after she finished work and she was picking Demi up from day care, Letty spotted me” I smile to myself remembering our texts to each other “We both when into get Demi…” Lucy cuts me off.

  “Letty took you into the day care to get her daughter. Wow Ryder that’s huge” I frown and kicking myself.

  “How is that huge, Snowflake? He just went into get Demi with her it’s not like she asked Ryder to pick her up on his own” Rafe says.

  “But, baby it is huge. She trusted Ryder enough to take him in there in the first place, especially after only knowing him for such a short amount of time. A mom wouldn’t let a strange guy pick her daughter up with her. Ryder she must have feelings for you if she did that. What happened after you picked Demi up?”

  “I took them both to Ed’s for something to eat and Luce, it was amazing to see how they interact with each other, the love that is between them. Yeah, I know that a mom naturally loves her children but the way Letty was with Demi blew me away. While we eating two girls came over because they knew who I was and I went into rock star mode, I couldn’t stop and I made a few comments that I shouldn’t have said while with my two girls. Letty…”

  “Whoa, your two girls? Did you just say that, Ry Ry?” My heart swells at the thought of making Letty and Demi mine someday.

  Rafe and Lucy smile at me and I return it. “Yeah, Snowflake I did. They are amazing together and I want to get to know them better. They make me want more I just hope that they will be a part of it. Holy shit what the hell am I going to do, Luce?” I take a deep breath “Is it so wrong that I care for them this much after a short time? I need to talk with Letty.” I wink and stand and as I walk to my room, I call back.

  “I told Sophie we will meet her at Max Point tonight. You two ok with that?” They shout back with their replies and I head for the shower and a mega power nap, thinking about how I am going to get Letty to give me another chance. It’s going to be hard after the way I have treated her but hey the Phoenix boys are stubborn as hell

  After my nap, I get dressed in my blue jeans but sans my boots, I pull on my Chucks instead. I am sifting through my closet when Lucy walks into my room and makes herself at home on my bed.

  “Hey, Ryder. Do you think that Letty will be at Max Point tonight? I know you were bitching about her going on a date, but what makes you think she will come to Max’s?”

  I pull a white t-shirt on over my head and turn to talk to Lucy “I don’t but it’s the main place to go, so I have everything crossed that she turns up tonight.” I shrug and reach into my closet and pull out a denim shirt. I put it on and roll the sleeves up to just below my elbows. I run my fingers through my hair and decide not to wear my ball cap tonight, so I add a touch of styling paste to my hair and ruffle it up a little, nodding at my reflection in the mirror, I turn back to Lucy who is smiling at me.

  “God, what I wouldn’t give to be dressed to go out in thirty minutes. You rock the "just out of bed" look just like Rafe.” She winks and stands to leave but stops at my bedroom door and turns to me “Go get her, you can do it. You are Ryder Phoenix, for fuck's sake.” She leaves me standing there laughing at her potty mouth.

  Lucy Cooper may look sweet and innocent but she can cuss like the rest of us boys. I check myself in the full length mirror once more, damn I look good. I join Rafe and Lucy in the living room and see that Beck has turned up to join us. He hasn’t been around much the past few weeks he has been working on his internship, which he started during Christmas break.

  “Well look who decided to grace us with his presence. And to what do we owe this pleasure, kind sir?” Rafe and Lucy laughs. I love ribbing these guys. I know deep down that Beck has been working hard. He really wants this internship to turn into a full time job when we graduate.

  “Fuck off, dude. I have been working my ass off. Between school and work, I’m so tired at the end of the week I normally just crash and sleep the weekend away. I haven't gotten laid in like…” He counts on his fingers, trying to work out when the last time he hooked up with a random girl. When I say random I do mean random, he doesn’t even bother finding out a name or even buy them a drink some nights.

  He says ‘Hi’ and then takes them home to their place, never his. He still refuses to admit his feelings for Trinity. They both are fighting it; I could throttle them most days. I would love to just lock them in a padded room with a box of condoms and tell them to so
rt their shit out. I see the hurt in Trin’s eyes every time she sees Beck with another girl and I see the anger in Beck’s eyes every time Trin brings Alex around.

  “Fair enough, let get the drinks flowing and enjoy our night. I need to correct my trouble” I wink at Lucy again and she nods in understanding.

  We hit Max Point shortly after and head for the bar. I see that Jax and Izzy are working tonight. The place is packed and it’s only eight-thirty. I walk over to Izzy and order our drinks. While she is making our drinks, I scan the room. Rafe has Lucy on his lap at the booth; nothing new there then. Beck is talking to Izzy behind the bar and I see a pretty blond staring at me. She smiles when our eyes meet and I reciprocate, with a polite smile, not that you have a chance with me smile. She makes her way over to me. Just great, another groupie wanna be. I turn back to the bar to see if Izzy has finished making our drinks. As she places the last drink on the tray the girl reaches me.

  “Hey, I’m Daisy and you're Ryder, right?” I nod and hand money over to Izzy who gives the girl a foul look. I wink at Izzy who just smiles and shakes her head at me.

  “I am. It's nice to meet you, Daisy.” She closes in on me and then I see Lucy come barrelling towards me. WTF?

  She pushes her way between Daisy and me and she is breathless from her short journey from the booth to the bar. “What’s up Snowflake? You ok?” She turns her back on me and directs her attitude at Daisy.

  “Back off, Ryder is off limits. He has a girlfriend and doesn’t need a groupie slut like you coming onto him” I have a girlfriend, since fucking when? Just then I see Letty walking towards a booth. She looks stunning in tight white shorts and a blue, sparkly halter-top. Her tattoos are standing out more against the blue of her top and her sun kissed skin. I notice that she has a star right at the top of where her shoulder meets her arm. Fuck, her legs go on forever. I am snapped back into reality when I see who her date is. I look down at Lucy and back up towards Letty. Lucy brings my head down to her mouth so she can whisper into my ear.