My Steps Are Ordered

by Michelle Lindo-Rice

  “I know you think you have something here,” Keith said, addressing her and not giving Michael a chance to answer. “You’re after a story you think will make your career. This isn’t about anything else.”

  Lauren touched Michael on the arm. “I’m after the truth.”

  “Michael, please let’s end this right now,” Keith said, pleading with his brother to back off. But he could tell from his brother’s posture that Lauren had won the battle. Keith could only stand by and watch the events play out.

  As soon as they returned from the break, Michael started talking. He talked about Keith and Gina’s betrayal. He spoke about Trey’s illness and finding out he wasn’t Trey’s biological father. He told of his decision to forgive his brother once he found out Keith was the actual father.

  Keith remained silent as the interview went on. He felt relieved that only five minutes remained on the clock. He could not wait for it all to be over. He was going to give Michael the beat down of his life. Keith thanked God that Gina had missed this.

  He thanked God a little too soon. From the corner of his eye, Keith saw Gina enter the room. Her mouth was agape as she listened to Michael’s words.

  “It took everything in my power to forgive Gina and Keith after what they had done to me, but I did it. Even after finding out I was infertile and the child she had carried wasn’t mine, I loved her enough to forgive her.”

  Keith heard a huge intake of breath. Gina’s gasp filled the room. Her shocked eyes met Keith’s, and she gripped Trey’s hand.

  Keith lifted one of his hands to signal to her to remain calm, but Gina looked like she was about to have a coronary. Her eyes mirrored her shock at the truth. He could see the disbelief and the anger building.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” she screamed. “How could you . . .” She closed her lips tight, tapping her heels. While he read her facial expressions, the cameras recorded every visible reaction for the nation to see.

  “But that’s not the only reason why you called the interview today,” Lauren said, prodding Michael.

  Keith watched the reporter’s body arch with anticipation, as if there were more. A part of him wanted to snatch her out of the chair and shake her, but Keith knew that wasn’t an option. He couldn’t understand how someone could get an obvious high off of someone else’s misery.

  But he knew people like her. Lauren Goodman wasn’t thinking about pain; she could only see dollar signs and her big break.

  Keith couldn’t imagine anything else Michael had to say that could trump that last revelation. However, it was evident Michael was far from finished. Keith saw him lick his lips before giving someone a signal.

  “Yes, I think it’s time to mend the fences, because I haven’t spoken to my brother in three years. But in order to do that, because he’s a public figure, I felt it was important that the truth be revealed to the nation.” Michael looked Keith square in the eyes. “All was forgiven until I had what I now refer to as an epiphany.”

  Michael’s words were cryptic. Keith and the other occupants in the room looked quizzical, that is, except for one person, who reacted with surprising vehemence.

  Hearing Michael’s last statement, Gina sprang into action. She rushed over to her husband from behind the scenes, where she’d hidden herself from view. “No!” Her plea resonated through every television screen across the nation.

  Enthralled viewers would pause and replay that emotional moment over and over again. They would witness the raw emotions and distress on Gina’s face. But right now, Keith reacted, not caring about anything but Gina. He reached over to grab hold of her hand.

  Michael plodded on, as if his wife hadn’t begged him on national television not to continue. With stubborn resolve, Michael crooked his finger, signaling for someone to come toward him. Keith watched Trey’s timid gait as he came forward. Tears rolled down Keith’s face as he beheld his son, whom he had not seen in three years. He looked adorable and so brave in his suit.

  He saw a little girl run forward. What a cutie, he thought. He kept his eyes glued to her. She ran over to Gina and disappeared in the folds of her dress. She must have hidden herself earlier. He tilted his head and studied the little girl, trying to figure out who she was. She looked so familiar, yet he knew with certainty that he’d never seen her before. Keith now forgot about the cameras. He looked over at Gina.

  “Gina?” he said.

  But Gina was speechless. Her eyes were wide with fear. She stammered, “I . . . I . . .”

  “Keith,” Michael said, chirping up like the cat that had caught the proverbial canary, “Let me introduce little Epiphany Joy. My wife’s second child and your daughter.”

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  A shocked silence spread around the entire room before pandemonium broke out.

  Gina used those moments of confusion to snatch her children and leave the house. She didn’t know how she managed to escape the throng of reporters who were encamped outside her house. She drove a few miles before pulling over to the curb. She took a moment to breathe and to think. She could not go to her usual spots. Where could she go? In an instant, Gina knew. Her decision made, she put her car in gear and took off.

  Keith ached to go after Gina. But he decided he wouldn’t leave the interview, because the viewers might think he left disgraced. He didn’t want his actions to turn them against God. God had delivered him, had given him a new life, and he was going to stand on His promise. What he’d done was shameful, but he had to face his past and try to salvage his future.

  Thoughts of his daughter swirled around and around in his head. He closed his eyes and tried to picture the little girl, who had already captured his heart. He was surprised to discover how fast his heart could expand.

  He felt the air in the room chill and saw Lauren squirm with discomfort. The crew had paused in midair to take a commercial break. Their orders had come directly from the network. Keith applauded that move.

  Lauren’s cell phone vibrated just then. She rushed to answer it. He could hear her boss hollering through the phone about potential lawsuits and slander. “Do you have proof to back up your story?” he heard her boss yell.

  His own phone was ringing, but Keith sent the call to voice mail. He angled his ear to hear Lauren’s response.

  “I don’t have any physical proof, but I believe Michael Ward. He has no reason to lie to me, and nothing to gain. Why would he make something like this up?” she persisted in a shaky voice. When she licked her lips, Keith knew she was worried.

  The voice on the line screamed, “You had better be right about this, Lauren, or this will be your butt!”

  The cell phone on the other end clicked off, and she jumped. When she walked over to them, Keith could see that her hands were shaking. Her cockiness had been replaced with distinct humility. She gave Keith a pointed look. “I didn’t realize you have so many friends in high places—both literally and metaphysically.”

  When the cameras started rolling again, Lauren switched gears and threw Keith’s brother under the bus. “Michael, you’ve made serious allegations here on live national television,” she began. He could see Michael shift in his chair from apprehension when she asked, “Where is your proof?”

  Michael hedged for the first time that evening. Keith knew she’d sprung that on him, deviating from the script. Lauren was now about saving her hide. “‘I’m not able to have children.” He had the good grace to look embarrassed. “My doctor can back that up.”

  “Okay, but I have to cover all my bases. Michael, what proof do you have to show that Pastor Ward is the father of your children?”

  Michael didn’t answer her question.

  Keith found perverse pleasure in watching his brother face the heat. He was of a mind to let Michael stew in the hot seat, but that wasn’t how God operated. Keith knew that God had been urging him to face the truth, but never did he imagine that he would have to do it in front of millions and on a bevy of Internet websites. Keith shuddered at th
e thought.

  Lauren turned away from Michael to face Keith with a sharp gaze. “Pastor Ward, you’re a man of God, and your viewers trust you to be open and honest with them. What do you have to say?”

  Before he responded, Keith uttered a silent prayer. He needed God to give him the right words to say right now. Keith did not have any time to prepare a statement. This was live television. Keith knew that he would have to speak from the heart. A sudden commercial break gave him a small respite, and he chose that moment to pray. Keith asked God to give him the right words. He looked over at Michael, who appeared to be having second thoughts about his rash actions. But any regret disappeared once Michael realized Keith was focused on him.

  “I only spoke the truth,” Michael uttered defensively. Keith saw him look over at Lauren, who had left her seat and was once again on the telephone. Keith read his body language and facial expression. Something was going on with those two.

  Keith’s cell phone buzzed. He had set it to vibrate. Keith saw that Natalie was calling—probably to proffer a plan for damage control or to advise him to get an attorney. Keith sent the call to voice mail and turned his phone off. He was going to rely on the best Advocate of all, his Savior, Jesus Christ.

  Keith smirked with derision. “Wow, Michael. She’s classy.” Sarcasm and disgust dripped from his tone. He had figured out that Michael and Lauren were more than what they appeared. He discerned that they were lovers.

  Hearing the censure in Keith’s voice seemed to only strengthen Michael’s resolve. He taunted, “I don’t care what you think. I’m past the point of caring about your opinion. It doesn’t matter to me at all. As a matter of fact, from my perspective, the interview was a resounding hit.” His disingenuous tone angered Keith, but he knew how to handle his brother.

  “No weapon that is formed against me shall prosper. And every word that rises against me shall be condemned.” Keith paraphrased Isaiah 54:17 with passion.

  Michael was unfazed by the Word of God, which broke Keith’s heart even more. How had he let himself stay away for so long? The people he loved were unsaved. If they died today, they wouldn’t enter paradise. He was the one who was supposed to lead them, and he had failed them all, even his children.

  “Keep your scriptures for yourself. You’re the one who needs them,” Michael muttered. Then his emotions took over. “Mr. Holier-Than-Thou, right now your career as a preacher is in the toilet. You are nothing but a hypocrite.”

  Keith hunched his shoulders as the full impact of Michael’s words hit his core. He felt like Michael had read his mind. He did feel like a hypocrite. It hurt to hear his brother say the words, because his brother’s venom reminded him of his failure.

  Lauren ran over to her seat, as they were going back on the air. Keith could tell she was disturbed by the tension between the brothers. He watched as she gave Michael a quizzical look. He only shrugged. Keith, of course, wasn’t about to volunteer any information.

  As soon as she received her cue, Lauren said, “We are live on the air with Pastor Ward and his brother, entrepreneur Michael Ward.” Turning to Keith, Lauren stated, “Pastor Ward, you were about to address all of our listeners.”

  Keith squared his shoulders and looked directly in the camera.

  Chapter Thirty

  As soon as the interview ended, Keith shot out of the chair. He had only one destination in mind. He grabbed the keys to Michael’s car and rushed out the back door. It took some maneuvering, but he was able to leave Michael’s house and head over to the other house without anyone on his trail. Keith was banking on the fact that Gina had taken refuge there.

  Once he got to the house, Keith reached for the spare key that was still hidden in the hanging potted plant by the front door. Letting himself in, Keith walked through Michael and Gina’s former home. It was as he remembered. But he was out of luck. Gina and the children were nowhere to be found.

  Keith walked into the living room. He had a vivid recollection of Trey watching television and dancing to the beat of a popular kid tune. There were toys strewn all over the floor, evidence that his children had been playing here before they were summoned to the dreaded interview.

  He sat on the floor and picked up the toys. He held them to forge a connection with his children.

  His children. “I have two children.”

  He couldn’t wrap his mind around that fact. He had not one, but two children with Gina. Keith tinkered with the Elmo toy and pressed the button to make it giggle. A sudden overwhelming feeling of sorrow for the opportunities he had missed engulfed him. Keith bent his head and cupped his face with his hands. Grief engulfed him, and his chest heaved from the impact of unshed tears. Then he wept for the time he had lost with his children, which he could never regain. Pain pierced his heart as he conjured up a mental image of the two little people he had helped create.

  “They have no idea who I am,” Keith cried. His voice boomed in the empty space. Sucker punched by emotion, he wailed, “My children. Trey. My daughter.” Keith looked upward. “Lord, I made a big mistake. A big mistake. How can I fix this? I should’ve claimed my son. I shouldn’t have left Trey with Michael.” Keith sank backward until he was laid out on the floor. He acknowledged with sorrowful regret that he’d made a grave error by leaving Trey. “I should’ve told the truth.” He fisted both hands and emitted a guttural cry. Keith rolled to his side and bent his legs. His suit was crushed, but he didn’t care. “I thought it was for the best.” He gulped. “But I was so, so wrong.”

  He’d taken the coward’s way out. He hadn’t wanted to face the truth then, which would’ve set him free. He would’ve been with Gina and his children all these years. Together.

  Keith thought of the interview. The truth had been exposed for millions to see, and Gina was furious and hurt.

  He’d just texted his mom his location when his cell phone rang. Of all people, it was Terence. He pushed the ANSWER button.

  “Hi, Keith. Colleen and I wanted to check on you to encourage you and offer our support.”

  “Thanks. Is Gina with you guys? I’ve been trying to reach her, but she’s nowhere to be found.” He prayed to hear the word yes.

  “No, and Colleen is mad with worry. Did you know about Epiphany?”

  Keith sighed but hid his disappointment. “I had no idea, or I wouldn’t have done the interview. Michael threatened me, saying that if I didn’t do it, Gina would pay. I think he must’ve compelled her not to tell anyone.”

  “Yes. Colleen was shocked and hurt. I can’t believe Michael exposed your dirty laundry on national television.”

  “I don’t understand the vindictiveness of waiting years to carry out a plan of this magnitude. Michael bode his time, then lured me back here under false pretenses. I thought this was about mending fences. Instead my life is now ripped apart.”

  “Let me put you on speaker,” Terence said. “Colleen wants to talk to you.”

  Keith’s stomach twisted. He imagined Colleen was going to rip him apart for his deception. He heard the faint static before she came on the line.

  “Keith, I know how you love Gina. I wanted to share with you that though things look dark, God will see you through this. One good thing is that the entire truth is out and now you can find peace—no matter the outcome.”

  In spite of everything, Keith had to let out a word of praise. Her words were confirmation of what God had been telling him. He voiced his deepest concern. “I can’t even imagine Gina forgiving me for not telling her I was Trey’s father. I tried years ago, but I should’ve insisted. I don’t think she’s going to be lenient or forgiving when it comes to her children.”

  Colleen didn’t try to sugarcoat things. “Gina loves you, but she’ll be overprotective of her children. In time, I think she’ll forgive you, but what’s more important is that God has already forgiven you. He’s got you. Just trust Him.”

  The couple prayed with him, and Keith rejoiced in God for sending comfort his way. He placed a call to Gina
again, but it was to no avail. She had turned her phone off and retreated to parts unknown.

  With no recourse, Keith entered into a season of prayer. He needed God’s forgiveness and guidance. It was comforting to know God would never reject him. Keith poured his heart out until he had nothing left to say. He even prayed for his brother and asked God to help him forgive Michael.

  Keith accepted blame for the whole ordeal but then gave the entire burden over to God. He knew he was going to have to face the world, but Keith would rebuke any worry or fear. He was protected in the hands of Jesus and felt secure with that knowledge.

  When he finished praying, he felt peace and contentment wash over his being. He knew that no matter what, God was going to take care of him. Now that the truth was out, Keith would rely on God to turn his wrong into something good and make it right.

  He knew God had the power to overturn his mistakes and disappointments and transform them into blessings.

  An hour later Keith sprang to his knees at the sound of the doorbell. He stretched to his full height and rushed to the front door. He looked through the peephole to see his mother standing outside. He undid the locks to let her enter. Gerry stormed in and grabbed him in a tight hug.

  “Oh, son, I’m sorry. I didn’t know about Epiphany. When Michael called me to tell me to tune in, I was hoping for a reunion. I told my friends and the neighbors, but now I wish I’d kept my mouth closed.” She wrung her hands and stormed into the living room. “I dropped my bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Glass is still all over the floor, but I had to get here.”

  “Me too. I thought this was about bygones being bygones and moving forward. Instead, I’m Internet fodder and a YouTube sensation.”

  Keith saw Gerry slouch. “I have another grandchild.” She held her heart and looked at him with tearful eyes. “How could Michael have kept a child from me—from you? I’m shocked and appalled at his cruelty.” Gerry’s shoulders shook. Keith moved to hold her. She said, “Three years . . . three long years.”