Returning Tides

by Radclyffe

Tory laughed. “Of course I do. But I think it will be better if I don’t. Reese might be more comfortable. She might tell you something that she doesn’t want me to know. And I never think it’s a good idea for us to treat family.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “I don’t mind telling you, I’m scared.” Tory hesitated. “There’s something else too. I told her this morning, right before she had this episode, that I wanted to have another baby.”

  Nita’s eyebrows rose, then she smiled broadly. “Really! That’s terrific.”

  “My timing was probably terrible, but…” Tory grinned ruefully. “I’m almost forty-one years old. I don’t have any more time. I’d like Regina to have a sibling by the time she’s two.”

  “What did Reese say?”

  “Nothing. When I told her I had something I wanted to talk to her about she jumped to the conclusion that something was wrong, and then she had the reaction.”

  “Immediately? So you think it was triggered by stress? Fear?”

  “Maybe. An adrenaline surge could have produced those symptoms.” Tory stood and started to pace. “God, I hadn’t thought about that. Nita! What if it’s endocrine? An adrenal tumor or…”

  “Whoa. Whoa. Remember, you’re not Dr. King right now. You’re Tory, Reese’s partner. And my advice to you is to wait and not play what-if. Okay? Is that a deal?”

  “Yes. Yes. Deal.” Tory slumped into the chair. “Lord, I’m a mess.”

  Nita smiled fondly. “You love her. That’s messy sometimes, but wonderful.”

  The phone rang on Tory’s desk, and she leaned over to answer it. “Yes?”

  “Reese is here to see you,” Randy said. “I already told her you’re double booked the entire day.”

  “It’s okay, Randy, send her back. And would you bring Reese’s chart to Nita.”

  “Certainly,” Randy said immediately, his voice sobering. “Right away.”

  Nita rose and brushed Tory’s shoulder with her fingertips. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of her.”

  “Thanks.” Tory schooled her features to hide her anxiety. She didn’t want Reese to know how frightened she was. Rationally she knew her worst fears were probably unfounded, but that didn’t help calm her frayed nerves. Reese was everything to her. Everything.

  Chapter Ten

  Allie parked the patrol car halfway up on the sidewalk in front of the Crown, got out, and followed the winding flagstone path, flanked with the last valiant flowers of the season, through the side gate to Ash’s suite. The blinds were drawn and the room was silent. She tapped on the door.

  “Walker,” she said, “it’s me.” She waited a minute and knocked again. She didn’t try the knob. She didn’t want a repeat of yesterday’s unexpected view of Ash naked. Especially not after knowing what Ash had been doing all night. The last thing she wanted to feel was even a reflex attraction to her. She was about to walk away when the door opened. Ash didn’t look much better than she had earlier. Her white shirt was rumpled and her eyes red rimmed. Allie’s stomach twisted with an unexpected surge of concern and, whipping her gaze to a point past Ash’s shoulder, she said, “You ready?”

  “Yes,” Ash said hoarsely and followed as Allie abruptly about-faced and stalked away. When Ash reached the patrol car, Allie was already behind the wheel. Ash slid into the front seat across from her. She hadn’t been able to sleep, but she had managed to get down a little breakfast, and after a couple of cups of coffee, her head was clear. “Let’s start on the harbor side of Commercial in the far West End. I’ve got a lot of claims down there.”

  “Fine.” Allie stared straight through the windshield, one hand on the wheel, the other resting on her right thigh. She recognized the familiar spicy Dolce & Gabbana cologne Ash was wearing, because she’d given it to her. She remembered laughing while Ash opened the package, telling Ash she had gotten that particular scent because it smelled like something she wanted to eat. Ash had unbuttoned her shirt and dabbed a little just below her belly button.

  Hungry now? Ash said.

  Allie had met the challenge in Ash’s eyes and immediately dropped to her knees, unzipped Ash’s fly, and gone down on her, savoring the aromas of fine cologne and even finer woman. Ash had come hard and fast, and considering that they were standing next to Ash’s car in the parking lot on Bradford, that was probably a good thing.

  Allie gunned the motor and pulled out into the street so fast that Ash slammed back in her seat. Ignoring Ash’s grunt of surprise, Allie snatched her radio off the dash and reported her destination.

  Ash gripped the armrest and gazed out the window. About half of the businesses on Commercial were open, although many had sheets of plywood covering shattered front windows. Rubble was piled along the edge of the sidewalks, waiting for removal. Here and there portions of roofs were missing and big yellow warning signs were stapled to the doors, forbidding entry by order of the fire marshal.

  “You took a heavy hit,” Ash murmured.

  Allie said nothing. She wasn’t in the mood for casual conversation. What she wanted, more than anything else, was to be able to look at Ash and not remember anything. So far, that wasn’t working so well, and that just pissed her off.

  “You happy with the job?” Ash asked.

  “I like my job, I love the town, I’m dating a hot woman. That’s my story. Can we stick to business now?” Allie said.

  Ash sucked in a breath. What did she expect? She’d been the one to break off the relationship because when she’d felt herself falling in love, she’d panicked. She’d been convinced that Allie was too young for a long-term relationship, and even if Allie had been ready for a commitment, she was too young for Ash. More than a decade Ash’s junior, and a big decade. The difference between forty-two and fifty-five was light-years away from the difference between twenty-two and thirty-five. Ash knew from painful experience how hard it was to build and keep a relationship. She’d failed herself a couple of times and seen her sister’s marriage fall apart after eight years and three kids. Hell, not a single one of her friends from college had managed to make a go of their marriages. She’d looked at Allie and couldn’t imagine her being satisfied with Ash when there were so many women waiting in her future. Allie was like a supernova, shining so bright that everything in her path burned with her. She was smart and vital and embraced life with a carefree sensuality that Ash envied. She would gladly have incinerated in Allie’s blaze. She feared not immolation, but that she would survive, forever scarred, forever wanting. So she’d walked away, and damned herself to exactly the future she had tried to avoid.

  “You can let me out here,” Ash said when Allie slowed the cruiser in front of a barricade blocking off a flooded portion of the street.

  “I told you, Reese wants me to go with you to clear our open files.”

  Ash opened the door when Allie halted the cruiser. She stepped out, leaned a forearm on the roof, and peered back in. “If I see anything suspicious, I’ll tell you. Otherwise, you can clear your cases as I go through them. I’ll give you a list at the end of every day. I know you’re all pulling double shifts. You don’t need to do this.”

  Allie jammed the car into Park and hopped out with the engine still running. She glared at Ash across the roof. “What part of orders don’t you understand? Reese assigned me to work with you. So I’m coming with you. Now move the barricade so I can get the cruiser through.”

  “Allie, there’s probably three feet of water down there in some places. You’ll stall out.”

  “Fine.” Allie reached in, cut the ignition, and pocketed the keys. She slammed the door. “Let’s walk.”

  Ash winced, the shock shooting up her arm and into her head. “Okay. Jesus. Take it easy.”

  “Maybe if you weren’t hungover, you wouldn’t be so sensitive.”

  “Look, can we declare a truce here?” Ash asked quietly. “I know you’re pissed off at—”

  “You don’t know anything about me,” Allie said succinctly. “You never both
ered to look at me, Ash. You just saw what you wanted to see. Nice tits and a pretty face.”

  Ash jolted with shock. “Allie. Baby,” she whispered, “that’s not true. I nev—”

  “Don’t you dare call me that,” Allie said furiously. “I’m not your baby. I never was. That was just your first mistake.”

  “Okay,” Ash said, feeling the earth tilt under her feet. She pressed her palms flat against the top of the car to fight the wave of dizziness. The core of pain she always carried in her chest expanded until every breath felt like a knife piercing her heart. “I apologize. I won’t do it again.”

  “Let’s go.” Allie strode around the front of the car and sloshed through six inches of water to the sidewalk. She’d seen the pain arc across Ash’s features and settle in her eyes. She’d wanted to hurt her, and she had. She just wished she felt a little bit better about it. Payback wasn’t nearly as satisfying as she’d imagined.

  *

  “Hi, love,” Reese said as she walked into Tory’s office.

  Tory closed the door, put her arms around Reese’s neck, and kissed her. “How is your day going?”

  Reese took a moment to kiss her back. “Everly is out on parole, and he’s missing. I told Bri this morning.”

  “Oh, darling. Damn it. How is she?”

  “It rocked her a little, but she’s okay.” Reese grinned fondly. “She’s tough.”

  “Do you think we have a problem?”

  “It’s premature to say that.” Reese squeezed Tory’s hand. “We’ll need to run him down, if we can. If we find him, that will solve the problem, because he’ll go away again on the parole violation.”

  “What about fingerprints? Didn’t Allie check our door and upstairs? His prints would be on file, right?”

  “Oh, they’re on file all right. But trying to isolate a foreign print in a family residence is really difficult. And chances are whoever was in the house was wearing gloves. We’ll run random samples, but…” She sighed. “Honestly, Tor, we’re not likely to find anything, and trying to sort through hundreds of prints is just too expensive.”

  Tory laughed ruefully. “Darling, you don’t need to explain cost-effectiveness to me. That’s all medicine is about these days.” She rubbed Reese’s arm. “You will be careful if you go looking for him, though, won’t you?”

  Reese kissed her forehead. “It’s been my experience that men who attack women are cowards. He’s not going to put up a fight if I find him.”

  “Just the same—”

  “Just the same,” Reese said, “I intend to be very careful.”

  “Thank you.” Tory gestured toward the hall. “Are you ready? I asked Nita to look at you.”

  “Yes. Whatever you need me to do.”

  Suddenly all Tory needed was right there within arm’s reach. She wrapped her arms around Reese’s waist and laid her cheek against Reese’s chest. “This. This is what I need.”

  Reese stroked her hair. “Done.”

  “Kate called,” Tory murmured. “They should be back around four.”

  “Do you want me to swing by and get Reggie and the dog on my way home?” Reese asked.

  “Call me. Whichever one of us is free can do it.” With a sigh, Tory let her go. “Come on. Let’s get you checked out.”

  *

  “Darling,” Rica called from the bedroom when Carter stepped out of the shower, “didn’t you pick up the dry-cleaning the other day?”

  Carter briskly toweled her hair and walked naked into the bed-room. “Uh-huh. Last Tuesday. That was everything we brought in before the storm. Why?”

  “Oh, nothing.” Rica frowned and sorted through her clothes again. “I can’t find my red silk shirt.”

  “It’s in there. I saw it the other day.”

  “That’s what I thought too. But it’s not here.”

  Carter strode to the closet and scanned Rica’s section. She had a good memory for details. Most cops did. On the job, she had maybe a second to take in the position of potential assailants or make a judgment call as to whether a man crouched in the shadows with a gun was a cop or a perp. She noticed things. And she remembered. “It was here a couple of days ago. Have you noticed anything else missing or out of place?”

  “I don’t think so. But—”

  “Not just clothes. Anything.” Carter yanked a pair of jeans off a hanger and stepped into them. As she zipped her fly, she crossed to the bedside table, extracted her holstered weapon, and clipped it to the waistband. “Jewelry? Personal items of any kind?”

  “You think someone stole my shirt? You think someone was in here?”

  “Someone was in Reese and Tory’s place last night. Then your car was broken into.” Carter shook her head. “I don’t like coincidences.”

  “I’ll have to look through my jewelry box.”

  “Do it. I’m going to check the rest of the house.”

  “Carter. Darling. Put on a shirt.”

  Carter looked down, then grinned sheepishly. “Oh.”

  “And be careful.”

  “I’ll be right back. Then maybe I’ll take my shirt off again.”

  Rica smiled. “Maybe you will.”

  *

  Reese sat on the examining table waiting for Nita. She kept her pants on but had stripped from the waist up. After checking out the paper gown, she tossed it aside and put her uniform shirt back on, leaving it unbuttoned. She didn’t wait long.

  “Hi, Reese,” Nita said as she entered and closed the door behind her. “How are you doing?”

  “Tory’s worried about me.”

  Nita dropped Reese’s chart onto the small pull-down desk attached to the wall, then leaned against the counter that held the sink and cabinets. “What about you? Are you worried?”

  “I haven’t been.”

  “How do you feel?”

  Reese sighed. “That’s a really tough question.”

  Nita nodded. “I get that. I really do. There’s no right answer, or even one answer. Let me ask some questions and we’ll see if we can get to a few of them. Does anything bother you physically?”

  “No,” Reese said immediately. “No pain.”

  “Fatigue? Weakness? Generally just not feeling up to par?”

  “I haven’t noticed any change since I…got back.” Reese frowned. “You know, I can’t really remember what I felt like before I went.”

  “Sometimes the experiences that change our lives reset our entire worldview. Even of ourselves.”

  “I’m not much of a philosopher, Nita,” Reese said ruefully. “I used to be a Marine. Now I’m a cop. I’ve got three things in my life that matter to me. Tory, our daughter, and my job. Nothing will ever change that.”

  Nita smiled. “How are you sleeping?”

  “A little erratically. I have nightmares sometimes. I’m sure Tory told you.”

  “What about when you’re awake? Are you having flashbacks?”

  “Brief ones. Not as often as I did.” Reese grimaced. “A couple of times I’ve had sort of mini-flashbacks.” She described the episode she’d had when Tory had called to say someone was in the house.

  “Can you remember any physical symptoms associated with that? Severe headache, a strange smell? Numbness or tingling in your hands or feet? Weakness in your arms or legs?”

  “No,” Reese said with certainty. “Nothing like that.”

  “Have you had any chest pain, the sensation that your heart was racing out of control?”

  “No.”

  “Night sweats?”

  Reese hesitated. “Sometimes, yeah.”

  Gently, Nita asked, “Have you ever had these symptoms while you were making love?”

  “No.”

  “Okay.” Nita pulled the blood pressure cuff out of its metal holder on the wall. “I’m going to examine you and then draw some blood for a battery of tests. Would you take your shirt off, please.”

  “Will you do me a favor?” Reese asked as she shrugged off her shirt.

  Ni
ta nodded, taking in the scars on Reese’s shoulder, arm, and abdomen. “Of course.”

  “If you find something wrong with me, will you tell me before you tell Tory?”

  “Will you promise not to keep anything from her?”

  “Yes. But I don’t want her to find out alone. I don’t want her to be frightened without me there.”

  “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, okay?” Nita pulled her stethoscope out of the pocket of her white coat. “You’ve made a rapid and impressive recovery from a series of severe traumatic events. You’ve returned to a very high-stress job in record time. You’re functioning exceptionally well. The symptoms you’re experiencing may be variants of posttraumatic stress. They’re not typical because you are a very unusual woman.”

  “They could be something else, right? A brain tumor or something?”

  “It’s possible, but with such isolated symptoms, not as likely.” Nita paused after wrapping the cuff around Reese’s arm. “Are you concerned about that?”

  “Only for her.”

  “Tory can handle anything, Reese. Trust her.”

  “I do.”

  “Good,” Nita said casually, watching the pressure on the gauge. She let the cuff down all the way, then inflated it again. “I understand you might be having another child.” She felt Reese tense and took her blood pressure again. Both her pulse and blood pressure had jumped dramatically. “How are you feeling right now?”

  “Nervous.”

  “About what?”

  “You weren’t here when Reggie was born. Tory almost died.”

  “I remember her telling me. She had preeclampsia. That can come on fast and get out of control quickly. They’ll be looking for that next time.”

  “But there’s no guarantee they can prevent it,” Reese said, her voice gravelly.

  “No, there isn’t.” Nita reached for the ophthalmoscope. “You and Tory will have to have some frank discussions with your obstetrician. I’m sure that will help.”

  Reese didn’t say anything. She would give Tory anything she wanted, if she could. She would do anything to ensure Tory’s happiness and well-being. But she couldn’t face the possibility of losing her, not even for something that Tory wanted as much as she wanted another child. And she didn’t know how to tell her that.