Never Have I Ever

by Clearwing, August

  A part of me kept wondering how it would all happen. Thoughts of all the possibilities began to consume me. It was, after all, much more enticing than my thesis, which had been my sole companion for the past… I don’t know how long. It felt like forever.

  Sunday blurred into Monday. Monday faded into Tuesday. Nothing happened. By the time Wednesday rolled around I decided to take matters into my own hands. All the eagerness managed to get the best of me.

  I showered and toweled off, a refreshing end to an otherwise busy day of the combined efforts of math and sexual frustration. But as I lay in bed and continued to think about the myriad of ways Noah could come and take me, it began to allure me. I wondered if he would wake me in the middle of the night by hovering over me and just thrusting himself into me or if he would come in when I left for class and surprise me when I came home. Thoughts of being tied and gagged. Blindfolded. Pinned to a wall. There were so many possibilities and not enough time for one to remain as a complete thought in my head before it slithered into another thought.

  My fingers ran up the inside of my thigh as I felt the wetness growing between my legs. I needed release. I couldn’t take the waiting anymore.

  I slid out of my sleep shorts and cast them onto the floor beside my bed. My shirt followed. I was naked beneath the comforter, my hand sweeping over my breasts. I felt my nipples harden in an instant. I pinched at them, softly at first, but then my fingers clamped down hard and I felt a jolt of pleasure shoot from my nipples down my body. I kept one hand on my breast while I let the other wander down my chest and flat stomach to my freshly shaved mound. I sucked in a sharp breath when my cool fingertips brushed my clit.

  I closed my eyes, imagining what Noah’s tongue might feel like as he sucked the juices from my pussy. My fingers rubbed a little harder. The pulsing sensations of the pleasure coursed through me. I slid my hand further down to coat my fingers in my arousal and brought them back to their place.

  I liked the build-up of alternating between rubbing my clit and slipping my fingers in and out of me. Tonight, though, I wanted to come so bad I couldn’t see straight. There would be no slow buildup if I could help it.

  I did dip my fingers into me and pumped them just to feel how wet thoughts of what was to come made me. That only turned me on more as I massaged in short and long circles. I moved and sighed against the light-weight comforter over my torso while I squeezed at my round breasts for minutes on end.

  The scent of me wafted up through the blankets. With one more grasp on my right breast, I sent my other hand to assist with the need growing inside me. One hand stroked against my sensitive, hard clit while I raised my hips to get a better angle and pushed two fingers inside of me. I felt myself clench around them and drew them in and out slowly. God, I wanted more than anything for them to be replaced with Noah’s hardness.

  I groaned out my frustration and moved with an eagerness that I almost couldn’t bear.

  Finally, I hit the sweet spot and, several seconds later, yelled out into my empty room as I came. My pussy pulsed around my fingers for a while as my orgasm wracked through me.

  Breathing hard, I slipped my hands away and rolled onto my side. I’d spent less than twelve hours with Noah and I was already in desperate longing for him.

  What the hell was I going to do with myself?

  {CHAPTER THREE}

  Friday arrived. I all but gave up on Noah.

  I slogged through my classes and, instead of heading home in the early afternoon, I made the trek up to the Mt. Wilson Observatory. I frequented the place as a favor to a professor to help the upkeep of the telescopes and crunch some numbers. It was free experience for my preparation to transition into the world of Astrophysics and an advanced understanding of the universe. They paid me, of course—quite well—because I was doing good work. It helped to supplement what my student loans and grants failed to cover.

  The observatory was a privately owned facility. Due to that they received zero in the way of government funding. They relied entirely on hefty donations from business owners and everyday people who just happened to like science. As the whole of the observatory prepared for a visit from a few executives of Wellington International, to see if they were worthy of a donation, I hunkered in to pull my weight to give the best pitch possible.

  After grabbing a cup of coffee and a salad from the café on the first floor, I slithered through the public crowds and nestled into an afternoon of spreadsheets. To any normal person, saying I spend my free time looking over data sheets and graphs was about as entertaining as watching paint dry. I enjoyed it, though. While the pictures weren’t exactly pretty, they painted a clearer view of all that existed beyond our little rock. It made me feel closer to God in some ways. Science was His language, it had just taken us a long time to begin deciphering.

  The hours flew by. When I looked up from the data at one point the clock had leapt from a quarter past three to damned near midnight.

  Yeah, it was time to go get some sleep.

  I drove home in the quiet darkness of the outskirts of Los Angeles. I parked and locked my car, then swung my keys around and located the right one. As I slipped it into the lock, I noticed the welcome mat with its flowery design was askew, almost sideways in its presentation on the doorstep. My pulse quickened.

  This was it. If I opened the door, there would be no turning back.

  The lock turned, and the door opened. Inside, my apartment was darker than I’d ever seen it. The only light stemmed from the faint amber glow of the bulb over the stove. After shutting and locking the door, I set my purse and keys on the island in the center of the kitchen, then went out of instinct for the light switch in the living room.

  Two strong arms grabbed me from behind in the darkness as I tried to flip the kitchen light on. I barely had time to gasp, let alone scream, before one hand was clasped over my mouth in a secure grip and the other wrapped around my waist. He pinned one of my arms to my side, but I flailed the other, my fingers clawing at the hand over my mouth. I kicked against him so hard my sandals flew off. I tried to push away, even screamed behind the hand covering the lower half of my face. Little more than a muffle escaped.

  Noah’s voice shot into my ear, “Shut up. This will be much easier for both of us if you don’t struggle.” His face was beside mine, a hint of peppermint and tobacco fresh on him.

  I struggled anyway. His muscles tensed and in a flash he pulled my free arm away and locked it to my side. I felt just how hard he’d already become through the fabric of his jeans against my ass.

  “I’m going to take my hand away from your mouth now. As long as you do as I say you are safe. If you scream, I will kill you. If you try to run, I will kill you. Do you understand?”

  For what it was worth, I believed him. Staged or not, his tone gushed of severe intent. I swallowed hard and nodded, my breath shallow and heavy against his palm. He moved his hand only to secure my arms behind my back. I heard the fast, high pitched click of a zip tie as it bit into my wrists and locked them together.

  “What do you—”

  “Shut up.”

  With my hands out of the way, he was free to explore. His left hand grazed past my collar bone as he wrapped it around my neck in a loose grip. He slipped his right hand beneath my shirt. The shock of his touch sent a shiver through me. I jerked forward out of reflex, releasing a whimper. His fingers moved beneath my bra, grasping the supple flesh of my left breast and gave it a firm, harsh squeeze as he yanked me back to him.

  “I don’t think so,” he growled. “I’ve been watching you, waiting for this moment. Did you leave the blinds in your bedroom open on purpose? Did you think nobody would stop to watch as you stripped? As you showered and shaved with your bathroom door open in full view?”

  Oh God, I really did leave them open. Nothing was behind my apartment except trees, and nobody ever ventured back there because it happened to be on the back of the property. I never thought to close them. How many nights, I wondere
d, did he sit back there and peer through my window? Did he see me on Wednesday when I—Oh, fuck.

  I stammered to reply, “No, I—” but was met with a firm slap across my cheek and the rest of my response was washed out by the sting.

  He pushed his crotch into the open palms of my hands and nipped at my earlobe. “Feel that? Feel what you’ve done to me, you little tease? Did you think you could taunt me and get away with it?”

  I gasped out the slightest of screams.

  He gripped my neck again to keep me still and silent. “Nobody will come for you.” His free hand moved away from my breast and down the flat of my stomach toward my groin. “The way you flaunt yourself for all the world to see makes me think you want this. You’ve tormented me with this hot body for long enough, slut.”

  That word—slut—reverberated through me, coursing straight between my legs and turned me on far more than I expected. How was it he understood this fantasy of mine so well?

  He lifted the front of my skirt and rubbed his fingers over my panties, barely brushing across my clit until his palm cupped the whole of my sex. Two fingers pushed the cloth aside and slid into the folds of my labia. No one else had touched me at all in almost two years. The overall thrill of a hand other than my own claiming the sensitive skin couldn’t be resisted.

  “You do want this don’t you? You’re dripping already.”

  “No.”

  He pressed against my clit. The wetness saturated the cotton, hot and sticky. With a groan of approval, he lifted his hand to my lips. The musky scent of my own arousal hit me.

  “Smell it. Taste yourself,” he ordered. His fingers worked into my mouth, and he moved them back and forth to clean my juices from them. “That’s it, my little whore. I’m going to enjoy that tongue on my cock.”

  My neck was freed. For a half a second I thought I might be able to make a break for it if only to make him work for it. No sooner did the thought flit through my mind than did Noah’s hand tangle through my hair. I cried out as he dragged me further into the living room. He came around me and forced me to my knees in front of him.

  From his back pocket, he produced a switchblade. It snapped open in a flash. My breathing quickened as it neared my chest. The knife hooked below my shirt and he pulled, ripping the fabric of my tank top. He held the knife between his teeth while he tore it in shreds down the center to reveal the black bra beneath. I made a conscious effort to stop breathing so hard, but my breasts rose and fell all the same, almost calling out to be touched.

  Noah smiled, the blade between his teeth making him look even more menacing than he already did. He reached out and seized both of my breasts, kneading the flesh behind my bra in cadence with my breathing. I closed my eyes tight to suppress a moan.

  Then the knife was in his hand again. He slipped it between the small valley of my breasts and under the tight elastic. With a flick of his wrist, it split the cups apart. My breasts spilled out into the open air; firm, round, and nipples woefully hard.

  “Look at that,” he said as he pinched a nipple between his fingers. “Your body’s betraying you so fast.”

  I tried to hide my moan with a fake plea, “Stop this. Take anything you want, just stop.”

  He slapped my breast, then grabbed them both and squeezed. I shrank back with a whine. “I wholly intend to take what I want, up to and including all the pleasure I can get out of watching you squirm.” He punctuated the statement with a guttural laugh, then stood and unzipped his pants, allowing his engorged manhood some relief against the constraint of his jeans.

  It was already fully erect; the long, thick shaft and circumcised head directly in my line of sight. A drop of pre-cum glistened at the tip. After a few strokes of it with his hand, he positioned it inches from my mouth. The switchblade was pocketed again to free his hand up. He grabbed the back of my head and threaded his fingers through my hair.

  “Open your mouth,” he demanded. I resisted by pulling back. He smacked his cock on my cheek and held me there. “Suck it or you get cut, slut.”

  I opened my mouth, resigned to my fate. The head of his cock was forced between my lips. The salty pre-cum and heavy smell of him filled my senses. My tongue coated his member with saliva. He gripped my head to shove it further in until it hit the back of my throat. I swallowed in reflex, trying not to choke. The muscles in my throat contracted around his shaft. He released a moan of pleasure at that.

  Once he was satisfied with the depth at which he could push into me, he rocked back. My tongue slid along the underside of his shaft until only the head of his cock was between my lips. I closed my eyes tight, sucking at the tip of it for a moment and making him twitch. Then he pushed back into the warmth with a long sigh. He pumped in and out, slowly at first, quickening the thrusts every so often to vary the depth.

  Suddenly he pulled away and tightened his grip on my hair, yanking my head back. I gasped for both breath and out of pain, writhing against the bonds around my wrists and the fist clenching my head.

  “I don’t think you’re even trying. Suck it like you mean it. Gag on it. I know you can.”

  And then his hardness was at my lips again. He dipped his cock further and held me there. My nose touched the dark pubic hair at the base of his shaft, my mouth and throat working over the member which filled it completely. I felt the dampness in the cotton of my panties grow; my swollen clit rubbing against the fabric in a feeble attempt to make contact with something that would satiate my craving for that touch of his again.

  “Look at me. I want to see your eyes as you suck me off,” Noah commanded. I opened my eyes and tilted my head up to make eye contact with him through my long lashes. I didn’t think it was possible, but I felt him harden even more in my mouth. “Fuck, that’s sexy. That hot mouth of yours is better than I imagined.”

  In part to make him loosen his grip on my hair and in part to accept his challenge, I bobbed my head up and down on my own, circling my tongue around the head of his cock and twisting in rhythm. I even let out a soft moan to push him on.

  “Now you’re getting into the spirit of things,” he urged.

  He relaxed his hand from my head and watched as my saliva dripped from around him. My eyes fluttered between his face and my work. I pulled his cock from my mouth, caught a bit of breath and ran my tongue up the length of it. It was almost an introduction, really. I got to know every ridge, every groove and every vein of Noah’s thick member in intimate detail. His long exhales and groans of approval reverberated through me.

  This wasn’t something I should like as much as I did. Our earlier conversation flashed past me. He’d been right when he said I just wanted to let go, to allow someone else to do the controlling for once in my life. I loved the harsh tone of his voice, the taboo of the words whore and slut directed at me. There was a virile nature to just being taken and used which struck a chord someplace deep inside. And in that moment I wanted nothing more than to please him, Noah, the man I barely knew. The man I asked to rape me.

  As I continued fellating him, he alternated between allowing me to work at it all on my own and forcing himself into my throat with the help of the hold he had on my hair for several long minutes.

  “The little bitch likes it, does she?” I thought it was rhetorical, and it did spur me on. But then he pulled his cock from my mouth and slapped it against my cheek a couple of times. “I asked you a question, slut. Do you enjoy being forced to suck a stranger’s dick?”

  The moisture in my eyes spilled over a little more. My tears smudged my eyeliner. The answer was a resounding yes. I gave a subtle nod.

  His hold tightened on my head again. “Look up at me and say it.”

  I pressed my lips together in a thin line, the words unwilling to escape until I made them. “I enjoy being forced to suck your dick.”

  “Good girl,” he said. “Now, suck.”

  He thrust himself between my lips again, pumping in an out with such force and vigor I thought I would choke for sure. My jaw
ached and my throat began to get raw.

  Finally, he started to tense, his pace evening out into short, deep drives across my tongue and down my throat. He didn’t give me any form of warning when he found release. He only held me tight, his member throbbing with the orgasm. Spurt after spurt of hot, tangy semen shot into my mouth, coating the back of my throat and making me gag.

  “Swallow it all,” Noah ordered between the grunts of his climax.

  With some additional effort on my part, I did. I sucked at the head of his cock like my life depended on it. I swirled my tongue around the softening flesh to clean off any residual cum. Not a single drop spilled from my lips.

  When he pulled out of my mouth, he crouched down and took my jaw in his hand, planting a deep, unyielding kiss on my lips. “That was very good. Now it’s time for the main course.”

  “Please,” I whimpered, “No more.”

  A light flashed in his eyes. “Keep begging. It only makes me want to fuck you harder. And, if I’m right,” Noah touched my thigh and traced his hand up to my sopping panties. “Oh-ho, and I am right. You want this as much as I do, you little tease.”

  My hips rocked forward, my clit aching to be touched. The only fear I harbored at that point was that if he touched me anymore I might explode.

  The switchblade was out of his pocket again. He held the point close to my neck. “This is happening no matter what you think,” he said.

  Cold, sharp steel trailed over my skin, barely touching me. It moved over my right breast, down my stomach and to the top of my skirt. It was cut away and discarded onto the coffee table. My breathing was erratic. A sharp knife so close to so many vulnerable places made it difficult to keep my composure. I squirmed a bit when the flat of the blade dipped between my open legs and rubbed at the sensitive wetness there.

  The blade peeled back the cotton. With a snap, it cut through, exposing my sex to the cool air of my apartment. Another flick of his wrist and the waistband was gone too.