Heart of a Captive

by Hestand, Rita

  "I never could play anything fancy, but I love goofing off with my guitar. Mama saw it in a shop one day, and saw me eyeing it. My Mama used to love music too. So she bought the guitar for me. It was used, but I didn't care. I prized that more than anything. She'd listen to me practice on that old guitar many a night. Tapping her toe to the music." He smiled thoughtfully.

  "That's a lovely story, Cale. Goodnight," She whispered softly.

  He glanced over at her and his smile was still lingering. "Night Amelia."

  Chapter Fourteen

  It was on the third night camping out that three strangers rode into their camp. They rode easy like, knowing not spook anyone.

  "Howdy, smelled your coffee, wondered if you had enough to share?" the big man with a scruffy beard and deep voice asked as he approached the campsite on horseback. He seemed cautious.

  Amelia noticed how Cale tensed. It put her strangely on guard. Although Cale was quick to pull a gun, she had to give him credit for handling situations.

  "Sure friend, come on in." Cale offered as he eyed the man.

  "Thanks…" the man nodded to the other two.

  The other two men dismounted and joined them. Cale looked them all over as they helped themselves to coffee.

  The others were shorter, broader and just as scruffy looking as the big man. They wore their guns as though they were used to using them. Cale eased back on the log, positioning himself with caution.

  "Where you from?" Cale asked as he watched the two shorter fellas rear back on the log and get comfortable. One of them helped himself to the coffee and poured the other one a cup too. Cale made a note of that. He wasn't afraid to act.

  "East Texas," one of the little men replied.

  "Where you headed?" Cale eyed him more sharply now.

  "South…to the border." the other man replied.

  Cale didn't like the way they were being so vague, but it wasn't his business so he didn't pry further. Anyone going south of the border usually had a reason, and that reason had a lot to do with the law, most of the time. Cale wouldn't start anything. After all, they merely wanted some coffee and they'd be on their way. It was like a warning and he knew it. If he acted irrationally, it could mean their lives.

  "That your misses?" The big man asked, eyeing Amelia with interest as he stood and sipped his coffee. He rocked on his heels as though he had an itch he couldn't scratch.

  Some kind of instinct told Cale to protect her, so he answered with a surprising, "Yes, it is."

  Amelia didn't object and he was grateful. When he glanced at her, he saw a raw sense of trust in her eyes, and it made him glad. He wondered where that trust had come from.

  "Where you from?" The big man asked.

  "Northeast of here." Cale answered, not bothering to look up at him. "Got a farm…"

  The big man nodded. "Where you going now?"

  "San Antonio." Cale answered giving all three men the once over now. "My wife's got folks there."

  One of the shorter men stood up and looked at the other two, "We best be on our way, then. Thanks for the coffee, mister. It was mighty tasty."

  "No hurry Jess…" The big man grinned, staring at Amelia with interest. He didn't hide his intentions very well. And Cale felt the tension rise in his shoulders.

  "Tuck it in, Tucker; we got a long ways to ride." The little man instructed. His words were clearly a warning and he folded his lips firmly, his eyes not straying, his hand heavy on his gun handle.

  Up until now, Cale had thought the big man was the boss, but he could clearly see that it was this short, stern faced little man that led the three of them. It was also obvious that none of them would argue the point.

  Tucker glanced at the one called Jess and frowned. "You sure we ain't got a little time?"

  Jess eyed Tucker with a real frown now of impatience. "No, we ain't got no time for that. Now let's ride…"

  Cale stood up and watched the interplay with interest.

  The other man stood up, put his cup down and started for his horse. The one called Tucker frowned at Jess.

  "I'm not telling you again, Tucker."

  "Alright. But I could take the farmer easy enough." Tucker fretted.

  Jess glanced at Cale, seeming to size him up. "I don't think you could Tucker."

  Tucker stretched to his full six foot two and doubled his fists.

  "Wanna find out?" Tucker challenged.

  Jess pulled his gun. "Let's ride! Now."

  Tucker finally relaxed his fists and shook his head as he mounted.

  "Thanks for the coffee mister." Jess tipped his hat to Cale and Amelia.

  "Your welcome, friend." Cale smiled at the man.

  Cale hadn't so much as pulled a gun, even when he knew Tucker's intentions. Jess controlled these men and with good reason. When Cale had eyed his gun, he saw how raw the handle was, that meant he used it a lot. Despite his size, Jess was the boss and Tucker complied easily enough. Jess was probably a crack shot.

  When they rode off, Amelia came up to Cale. Her face was pale. "What do you think they wanted?"

  "From the sound of it, I'd say, you!" Cale turned to look at her. "At least Tucker did."

  Amelia stared innocently into his face. "I wondered why you said I was your wife."

  "A man thinks twice, if they have any sense about taking a man's wife. But if she's unclaimed, they think she's fair game. I didn't want you being fair game."

  Amelia thought about that a moment. "That's a little barbaric, isn't it?"

  "Yes ma'am, it is. But it's the way it is, in the white man's world." Cale smiled. "Thanks for not arguing the point in front of them."

  "I was just as leary of them as you." She replied. "Do you think they were running from something?"

  "Oh yeah. The law I'd say. I'm glad you didn't ask."

  "I trust you to handle situations like that. I'm afraid I've been too far away from the white man's way of thinking." Amelia smiled at him. But he saw how she was shaking. He had an instinct to take her into his arms and comfort her, but realized that he didn't have that right. They were on a mission to find her fiancé. He had to remember that. The kisses they'd shared were just that, kisses and would go no further. He wouldn't allow himself the pleasure of feeling things about Amelia. She was spoken for.

  "Good. Your instincts are good, Amelia. Funny, but I thought the big fella was leading them. I was wrong. The one called Jess, he was tough, I could see that upon reflection. Sometimes size has nothing to do with brains."

  Amelia looked at him, "I'm surprised you didn't pull your gun."

  Cale shook his head and laughed. "Amelia there are times for a gun and times its best not to. This was one of those times not to. Jess was running that bunch, and as long as he could keep them in line, there was no use getting involved. It would have only made things worse. Someone might have gotten killed. It's when there is no boss that you gotta worry what the other fella will do. If they truly were running from the law, what Tucker was after wasn't logical. Jess knew it and kept him in line. They didn't need more trouble."

  Amelia considered his words and shook her head. "I'm just shocked that you know when to and when not to. Some might have played it out differently."

  "The way you stay alive is knowing when to pull a gun and when not to, Amelia. Remember that."

  "I will…" She said quietly. She eyed Cale in a new light tonight. And no one was more surprised than Cale.

  "How much longer before we get to San Antonio?" She asked.

  "Another couple of nights, three days ride. Getting anxious?"

  "Nervous is more like it. I really don't know what to expect. I keep thinking about it. How I will react. What will they say, feel? I can't help but be nervous. They probably think I'm dead. May have even declared me dead."

  "It'll be a shock, I'm sure of that." Cale smiled at her.

  "I guess your right. I hadn't thought of that. What…what will you do after this is over?"

  "Go back to farming."
/>   "Of course…you really enjoy your work don't you?"

  Cale studied the question as he pulled his blanket close to hers. She noted the action, and her eyes rounded on him.

  "I told them we were married. In case the big one takes Jess on and doubles back, we can't exactly sleep across from each other, now can we?"

  "You think he'd do that?"

  "Ordinarily no. Jess is good with a gun, you can tell by the way his handle is faded. He's used it a lot I'd say. But a man can turn his back, no matter how good he is and be overtaken." Cale explained. "Tucker must have a real appetite for the ladies."

  Amelia reddened; she'd been thinking Cale was ready to take an advantage himself.

  "I'm sorry. I jumped to conclusions." She turned away from him.

  "It entered my mind, several times, Amelia, but it's not who I am. In time you'll come to trust me on that, too…"

  She turned to look at him now. "I do trust you…it's just…Well, I'm learning, you could have easily taken the advantage, many times already."

  He smiled and faced the opposite direction from her on his blanket, staring out at the stars. "Make no mistake about it Amelia, I'm a man. And you are a very beautiful woman. I'd like nothing better, but…you are promised, and we are on a mission to complete that promise. I'm just not in the habit of taking what isn't mine. And I'd want a willing partner…"

  "Maybe that's what I'm afraid of. Maybe I'd be more willing than I should be…."

  He seemed to stop breathing.

  She did too.

  He didn't turn over, he didn't move.

  "Goodnight Amelia."

  "Goodnight."

  Chapter Fifteen

  San Antonio was bustling with people walking the streets. Women were wearing the latest fashions. Amelia looked down at her green velvet dress and was glad Cale managed to pay for the nice dress she wore; even if it wasn't the latest style, it looked good on her. Her hair could use a good style, but she looked trim and fit.

  She glanced at Cale; he was dressed in a suit that didn't become him at all. He looked uncomfortable. And he was wearing it for her benefit. She knew this.

  She owed the man so much; she didn't know where to begin to repay him. Somehow, she had to manage it.

  And at the back of her mind was the fact that she might soon have to say goodbye to Cale. And secretly that broke her heart. For he was the one man that could be truthful with her. He could accept she'd been with the Indians. He could believe that she hadn't slept with them. Would the others?

  "Where should we start looking for him?" Cale asked his eyes scanning the streets as though he expected the man to materialize out of nowhere.

  "I would suggest asking around for his name. Sometimes that is a good start. If he's well known, people will know it. If not, he'll be harder to find. We don't have an address. We can inquire for both him and my cousins."

  Cale nodded. "I guess the first place to inquire would be the boarding house. Since they get so much business, they might have some information."

  They went to a nice looking three floored boarding house and Cale procured a couple of rooms for them.

  Amelia asked the desk clerk. "Excuse me; we are looking for some people here. I wonder if you might know of them."

  "What's their names?" The clerk asked adjusting his glasses.

  "Bertram Howard he's a lawyer, and Judy and Mark Harrison."

  "Howard. We had a convention last week at the town hall, he might be listed there." Cale glanced at Amelia.

  "Oh thank you, we'll try there."

  They went to the huge town hall and inquired at the first desk they came to. The clerk went inside an office and came back some time later with some information. "Yes, I found a B. Howard, he left a forwarding address of twenty-three Havershack. That's about nine blocks to the south of main street."

  "Oh really?" Amelia smiled. "Thank you ever so much."

  "Not at all. Let me know if you need anything else." He smiled back.

  Cale and Amelia went to one of the rooms. Although Cale had secured two rooms, he wanted to talk to her for a moment.

  They were luxurious, with fancy rugs on the floors, a beautiful lamps everywhere. The bed was big and high, but there were two sitting chairs by the windows.

  The smell captured Amelia's attention. It was musty, and yet there was a hint of perfume in the air. She wondered if some lovely woman had recently stayed here.

  "Well, we have an address. It was lucky they had a convention, isn't it?" Amelia smiled at Cale.

  "I never thought we'd have such luck." Cale said, adjusting his tie.

  "Here, let me help you." She reached to loosen his tie. When she did, their eyes met and she rose on tiptoe to kiss his jaw. However, she knew instantly it was a mistake for he didn't take her in his arms. Instead, he ignored her action, as though it never happened.

  "I know you are uncomfortable in those clothes. And I know you are wearing them for my benefit. But it wasn't necessary."

  He moved away abruptly and she felt taken aback. Why was he backing away from her so? Had she done something to annoy him?

  "I wore them so I wouldn't stand out like a sore thumb. I wanted to blend in a little. Kind of like you, wanting to blend in with your folks. Now, all we need to do is find the street and we are there." Cale reminded her of why they had come. "He said about nine blocks to the south, that's good directions."

  She felt his distance and so needed his strength right now.

  "Yes, I guess so." Her voice lowered an octave.

  He glanced at her. "Something wrong?"

  "N-no, of course not. I'm a little hungry. Do you think we could have dinner first?"

  Cale nodded, "Of course. I'm sorry, I just thought you might be anxious to get this over with." Cale explained.

  "I'm not at all anxious, Cale. I'm scared to death." She moved about the room recklessly. "I barely remember any of them. I can't recall what they looked like. Much less how they will react when they see me." She moved to the window to gaze out. "I can't remember being at all close to my cousins, and Bertram…or dear God. I have no idea how I feel about him. I can't expect him to feel the same after so long a separation."

  Cale moved just behind her, he stretched out his hands to gather her to him, but then put them down at his side.

  "Don't be afraid. After all, this is the man that loves you, right?" Cale asked.

  "Y-yes, I guess so." Amelia cried.

  "Everything will be fine. Once the shock is over." Cale suggested.

  She turned around abruptly and nearly fell into his arms. He caught her, but immediately released her. "I'm sorry…"

  "Well then, let's go downstairs and have a meal, then we can find the street." Cale suggested.

  "Of course." Her disappointment festered.

  Amelia knew he was distancing himself from her, and she couldn't blame him, but somehow it hurt. She needed him right now.

  Of course he was thinking of the later. When he would be on his way home. Home, would she ever have a home again? She'd thought his home nearly perfect, but of course she couldn't tell him that. She wouldn't invite herself there.

  She couldn't remember eating the steak Cale ordered for her downstairs in the cafe. She didn't remember it's taste or how well prepared it was. All she could think of was how she'd be received by Bertram and her cousins.

  Mentally she tried to recall them all, but it was impossible. Almost as though she had wiped them from her mind. But that was it! She had!

  She looked up at Cale, with tears in her eyes. "I wiped them out of my mind."

  "What? What did you say?"

  "I said I wiped them out of my mind. Intentionally, when I realized I might never see them again. I was hurt that Bertram never came for me. Wounded. I had tried so hard at first to keep him uppermost in my mind. But as the time passed I began to hate him…because he never came for me. I blamed him, and my cousins. I know that now. And I know I was wrong to do so. But…it's how I felt, then. They sur
vived, and I didn't."

  Cale considered her words. The pain she had felt over not being rescued was now coming to the surface, and she was facing it. He so wanted to comfort her and tell her that it was all right to be angry, alright to be hurt, but he couldn't weaken now. She needed to find out for herself how she really felt about Bertram and him interfering could cause problems.

  "I think that's natural. But you must consider too, your Bertram is not an outdoorsmen. He probably had no idea where to look, or how to look for you."

  "I know that in my mind. But my heart tells me if he really loved me, he would have kept looking for me."

  "Amelia, I think you should consider forgiving him, given the circumstances." Cale advised.

  "I can't believe you would take up for him." Her eyes widened.

  "I'm not really. I mean were it me, I would never have quit looking. But he's not me. And I'm not him. I guess one of the hardest things to understand is that no one is perfect, Amelia. And sometimes we can't live up to the expectations of others. In his own way, I suppose he tried his best."

  "You always think so much of other people, Cale."

  "No…not really. Remember Dolby?"

  "Oh…yes, I guess you are right. Well, I thank you for trying to defend Bertram, but I'm not going back with roses in my eyes either. I expected better of him, and until he explains to me why he gave up, I will continue to have my doubts."

  "No one says he really did give up. I mean, that picture of you was put up only months ago. So he was still thinking you might be alive. Still hoping."

  "No…" She said in a whispered voice. "Bertram is a lawyer, and the truth is, my cousins would have wanted that inheritance. So they were probably all eager to declare me dead. They were all supported by my folks, once they died, that ended. They needed that money to survive. That notice was a legal document that he tried to find me in some way."

  "Do you love this man?" Cale stepped toward her now.

  "That's just it. I don't know." Amelia cried. "Right now, I feel very little for him. But maybe once I see him things will change. I can't say for certain. Maybe I need him to reassure me that he did try, that he did love me, I don't know, Cale. I just don't know."