by Nina Levine
Monroe frowned. “You didn’t have that with Randall?”
“No. I thought I did, but comparing it, I didn’t. Not even in the beginning when it was all new and lacking the baggage we accumulated along the way.”
“Why did you marry him, babe?” Monroe asked softly.
“God, I think I was just young and naïve. Dad had just passed away and Randall caught me in a vulnerable moment when I felt alone and lost. Chris was there for me, but he was busy with his shit, and I had started to feel like I didn’t know where home was anymore. Marrying Randall felt like a new start and a new chance at happiness.”
Posey watched me with a look that said she knew exactly what I meant. “He offered the easy path to what you thought you wanted,” she murmured. “Except it turned out that nothing good in life ever comes easy and you should have known that.”
I nodded. “Exactly.”
“So this thing with Nitro, what is it?” Monroe asked.
“It’s not just sex, but we haven’t labelled it.”
“What do you want it to be?” Monroe asked.
As I contemplated her question, I let my fears in, but I didn’t let them control me. It scared the shit out of me to think about letting Nitro into my life more than I already had, but at the same time I felt it deep in my soul that I wanted to take that step. “I want him. He’s moody and he can be an ass, but he looks out for me. He’s honest and he considers all the little details in life in such a way that shows me how deeply he’s able to care for someone. I want a man who is all about the details.”
“What exactly does that mean?”
I reached for the water on the table and poured myself a glass. “He listens and watches and pays attention to the things I say and do. And to the shit I’ve been through. And he takes it all into consideration and it shows in the way he treats me. He does the same with his family. His actions aren’t always all about him. I’m not saying he gets it right all the time, but the fact he tries means something to me.”
“It’s hard to find a man like that,” Posey said.
“Is your ex still being an ass?” Monroe asked her.
“No, he’s leaving me alone. Whatever Billy’s guy said to him worked.”
“You should come out with us on our next girls’ night,” Monroe said. “The hangover is totally worth it.”
“That’s because she found pierced cock,” I threw in. “And because Monroe hardly ever gets hangovers. Personally, I think that’s her superpower.”
Posey laughed and sat forward. “Tell me more!”
Monroe’s eyes lit up. She loved talking about sex and dicks more than any woman I knew. “Well, I was really drunk so I might be wrong, but I’m not convinced that dude knows how to use what he’s got to its full potential. The piercing felt good, but I don’t remember fireworks. And damn it, I want fireworks.”
“Okay tell me, what is fireworks to you?” Posey asked.
“I want to come out of my skin because the need the guy has for me is too much. I want to feel him everywhere, in my toes, my fingertips, in my mind, and deep in my belly. His touch, his breathing, his sounds, what he says, the way he moves… it should all consume me until every thought of mine is focused solely on him. And I want him to give me an orgasm I’m still feeling the next morning.”
Posey and I sat staring at Monroe as she described everything she wanted. Posey, wide-eyed, me with a smile.
“What?” Monroe asked.
“That was the perfect description,” I said.
“Jesus, you have that with Nitro, don’t you, you lucky bitch?”
I laughed. “Let’s order lunch before you start crying.”
“Ugh. I hate you,” she muttered. “I find a pierced cock and I still don’t get fireworks. I bet you got fireworks last night.”
“All night long, Roe.”
She dropped her head to the table and banged it a couple of times in the kind of dramatic performance she was well known for. When she lifted her head, she said, “Right, girls’ night is on every Friday night until I find fireworks.” Looking at me, she added, “And I don’t give two fucks if you’re having a Milo Friday, you’re still coming out to help me find my man.”
Posey cut in. “What’s Milo Friday?”
Monroe turned to her. “Oh, honey, you don’t want to know.” She then proceeded to fill Posey in on my love for Milo, omitting the full details of what had happened recently, but giving her enough information to understand why she didn’t love Milo Fridays.
We ordered meals after that and spent the next two hours laughing and sharing stories from our week. Monroe had been right when she’d said we should invite Posey to brunch. I’d been hesitant because I never mixed my work life with my personal life, but this was fun. And fun was something I hadn’t let into my life for far too long. It was exactly what I needed. Friends.
35
Nitro
“Love’s Poster Child” by Keith Urban
I slid my arm around Tatum’s waist and pulled her close while we made the short walk from my bike to the clubhouse entrance. Loud music filled the night air, along with laughter and lots of talking. The party was in full swing.
I’d picked Tatum up from brunch the day before and we’d spent the time since then either in her bed, her kitchen or on her couch. The invitation to come with me to the club get together had slipped out of my mouth before I realised it was happening. But there was no doubt in my mind, I wanted her there.
As we entered the clubhouse, she looked up at me. “Looks like things are going well with the club. Compared to the last time I was here.” We hardly ever discussed Storm when we were together. She never asked and it wasn’t in my nature to bring club business up with anyone who wasn’t a member.
“Yeah, things have improved.” A hell of a fucking lot, now that Joseph’s guns were out of the picture.
“Nitro!” Devil called out when he spotted us. He sat on one of the couches with a chick on his lap, a smile a mile wide on his face.
As I took a step in his direction, Tatum held back. “You go,” she said, “I’m going to say hi to Kree.”
I followed her gaze to see Kree approaching. Smacking her ass, I let her go and headed over to see Devil.
He jerked his chin at Tatum. “She the one who’s been fucking with your head?”
Glancing at Tatum, I nodded. “Yeah,” I said, distracted by the smile on her face. She was fucking beautiful when she smiled.
Devil motioned for the chick to move off his lap. She pouted and grumbled some shit I couldn’t hear.
“Babe, I told you I’d be busy until later,” he said to her as he stood.
“You’re always busy,” she snapped, snatching her bag up off the table.
Devil watched as she took a step away from him. “Where you going? I thought we were on for later?”
“I’m going to find someone who doesn’t ignore me,” she said, leaving.
Devil shook his head as he stared after her. “Fuck. Women.”
“You gonna go after her, brother? What’s that thing you told me about laying down and letting pussy whip you?”
He turned to me with a huge grin and slapped me on the back. “Nah, Nitro, I’m a lover, not a fighter. That one’s got a temper on her. She’s too fucking much for me to handle. I’d rather get a drink.”
A few minutes later, we had beer and I sucked some back while I watched Tatum with Kree. Her gaze caught mine and I jerked my chin at her to get over here. She lifted a finger to indicate she’d be a minute. When her attention shifted back to Kree, I dropped my eyes to check out her ass. She’d worn those skintight jeans of hers I loved, and I struggled to drag my gaze from them.
“Nitro.” King’s voice sliced through the air and I looked around to find him standing next to Devil. “I see you brought the blonde with you.”
I held his gaze. I knew what he was asking. King never missed a beat and always liked to know what members were up to in their private lives. The crazy
fucker was the most paranoid person I knew and was always concerned that outsiders would come in with an agenda.
Nodding, I said, “Yeah. That a problem?”
He drank some of his whisky while silently contemplating that. Finally, he said, “If you don’t think it will be, I trust that.”
The noise in the room picked up and we all turned to see Kick and Evie enter, a huge smile on Kick’s face as he held his wife close.
“That fucker ever stop smiling?” Devil asked.
“You’d be smiling like that too if King had finally let you back out into the real world,” I said.
Devil grinned. “True.”
King changed the subject. “Anyone know Kree’s story?”
I drank some beer before answering him. “Nope. All I know is she’s from Brisbane. Nash recommended her when Kick asked and to be honest, she was a good recommendation. Always on time, works hard and keeps to herself.”
King watched her as she laughed with Tatum. “Yeah, but I wanna know everything there is to know about anyone working here. Find out and get back to me.”
Tatum said goodbye to Kree and walked to where we stood as Kree exited the room. She met King’s gaze and pushed her shoulders back, standing tall. She never backed down and I fucking loved that about her.
“Tatum Lee, I see you’ve decided to hang out with us again,” King said, his voice dangerously low. I felt my protective streak kick in and knew that if he pushed this with her, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from stepping in for her. And I wasn’t sure how that would go down with King.
Before she could answer him, Devil’s eyes were drawn to the other side of the room and he whistled low. “Fuck me… I’m out of here.” With that, he strode towards a brunette I’d never seen before.
Tatum held King’s gaze. “This time it’s completely my choice to be here, King.”
“We’re not gonna have a conflict of interests, are we?”
She frowned. “To do with what?”
“Your boss.”
“Whatever happens between your club and Billy has nothing to do with me, so no, no conflict of interests.”
He drank the rest of his whisky and reached across to place the empty glass on the counter. When he looked at her again, he said, “Good.”
“Why did you take my back when my lawyer friend, Duvall, was giving me a hard time outside Billy’s club?”
His nostrils flared as he remembered that encounter. “Tatum, if a person looks out for me or someone I care about, I look out for them. You were there for Evie when she needed someone. I won’t forget that.”
“King!” Kick motioned for King to come over. It looked like he and some of the guys were revved up about something and King left us to check it out.
Tatum’s arms circled me as she moved close. Her mouth pressed to my throat and she kissed me there before lifting her face to me. Smiling, she said, “I’m glad you brought me. I needed to come back here and change the feelings I associate with this place.”
Placing my hand on her ass, I said, “Is that working?”
“It will.”
I held her gaze for a long few moments as unsaid words passed between us. “A lot’s changed since then.”
“Yeah, it has.”
I dropped my face and placed my mouth close to her ear so she could hear what I said. So she couldn’t mistake a word of it. “I want a lot more to change still, Vegas.”
Her arms tightened around me. “Me too.”
* * *
Five hours later, the party was in full swing, but I was ready to take Tatum home. Hell, I’d been ready to leave for four and a half fucking hours. But the club needed the time together to let our hair down after months of being tightly wound, so I stayed. The only member who seemed unable to relax was Hyde. He sat in the corner drinking all night, mostly alone, and mostly with a scowl on his face. That wasn’t unusual behaviour for him, though. Jekyll and fucking Hyde. He was either up or down, happy or grumpy as fuck. There was no in-between for him.
Tatum had made an effort to meet all the boys and find something to talk with them all about. She and King had even had a drink together. Surprised the fuck out of me. I watched her as she laughed with Evie. Sucking back my beer, I realised how much I wanted to make her happy. The only people I’d truly cared about in that way were Marilyn, Dustin, and Renee. I’d do anything to ease their burdens and make them smile. And I’d do the same for Tatum.
I left my beer on the counter and strode over to where she stood. Sliding my arm around her waist, I said, “You good to go, Vegas?”
Evie smiled. “She’s all yours, Nitro.”
Tatum’s eyes sparkled with the sexy glint she often gave me. “You got something good planned?”
Fuck if that didn’t hit me fair in the dick. I gripped her harder. “Careful what you ask, because you might not like what it’s in my head,” I growled.
Her eyes widened in question. She knew what I referred to. I hadn’t brought up my desire for knife play again after the first time I asked her, but every day we spent together was a day closer to me doing that. My need for it with her had only grown since we started sleeping together.
She turned to me and placed her hand on my chest, spreading heat there. “I’m good to go,” she said, a little breathless and a whole lot turned on.
We said our goodbyes and I guided her outside, through the maze of bodies still partying hard. They’d last all night, some into tomorrow. I didn’t miss those days. Not when I had Tatum to go home with.
The minute I had her alone outside, I dragged her up against a wall, my hands either side of her. “You know what I’ve been thinking about all night?” I asked as my lips grazed hers, my teeth nipping at them.
Her hands made their way into my hair. “What?”
I traced her lips with my finger, my erection straining against my jeans. “This lipstick staining my dick.”
She pulled my hair and my breathing grew ragged. I fucking loved it when she was rough with me. Pulling my face down to hers, she bit my bottom lip and kissed me hard as fuck. It was as if she was laying claim to my mouth. When she came up for air, she said, “You wanna know what I’ve been thinking about?”
Fuck, I wanted to know every damn thought that ever crossed her mind. “Tell me,” I demanded.
Rubbing my cock through my jeans, she said, “This. I can’t get enough of it.” Moving her face closer so our lips almost touched again, she added, “Of you. I can’t get enough of you.”
Just as I was about to lift her over my shoulder and carry her to my bike, a voice broke through the night, shattering the moment into pieces.
“Rhys.”
I spun around to come face-to-face with Joseph. My body tensed. Soldier mode triggered like a fucking dog responding to his master. “What the hell are you doing here?”
His gaze shifted to Tatum and a smile snaked across his face. “You’re being rude, son. Introduce me to your girl.”
I moved in an attempt to block her from his sight. “Not fucking likely.”
The smile on his lips morphed into displeasure. “I’ve warned you, Rhys, either you give me what I want or I’ll find a way to make you.”
His threat was loud and clear, and it fuelled anger in me I didn’t recognise. Taking the step needed to get in his face, I grabbed his shirt and yanked on it. “I hear you, Joseph, but what you fail to understand is that I’m not the boy who used to cower in front of you. I’m not the boy who you beat until he passed out. And I’m sure as fuck not a man who doesn’t protect what’s his. You wanna come at me? You fucking come, but be prepared to die trying.”
With that, I shoved him away from me, took hold of Tatum and dragged her as far away from that piece of filth and evil as fast as I could.
No fucking way would he win against me. Not anymore.
36
Tatum
“Home” by Phillip Phillips
I rifled through Nitro’s drawers looking for a T-shirt. Anxiety
riddled me because I was running late for work. He’d woken me just after five to have sex and then we’d both fallen back asleep. When I’d woken up again, it was nearly eight. It was not a good day to be late for work. Billy had me scheduled in for a meeting with his lawyer to go over the game plan for a case coming up, and I had less than an hour to get home, get dressed and get to that meeting.
“Nitro!” I called out. “Where are all your damn shirts?”
“In my drawer,” he yelled from the bathroom, his tone irritated.
I slammed the drawer shut. “Don’t you take that tone with me,” I snapped, bending over to snatch up my panties that lay on the floor. If only I’d insisted on him taking me home last night instead of giving in to his demand for me to stay at his house. He’d been on edge after the run-in with his uncle, and I’d sensed his need to protect, so I agreed to stay over.
As I stood, he appeared in the doorway, a shitty look on his face. Jerking his chin at the wardrobe, he said, “Did you check in there?” Still with the tone.
Taking a deep breath, I said, “I know you’re angry about your uncle and all, but don’t bring that mood to me. All I asked was where your shirts were.”
He scrubbed his hand over his face and blew out a long breath. Without saying another word, he walked to the wardrobe, rummaged around in it and found me a shirt. Passing it to me, he said, “Here.” And then—“You almost ready?”
I decided it really would be best if I just ignored him that day. At least until he got his head together. Throwing the shirt on, I nodded and grabbed my stuff off the bed. “Yeah.”
We were almost out the front door when Renee ran in, breathless. “Sorry, I’m late!”
Nitro halted and I almost ran into him. “What for?” he asked.