The Complete Firehouse 56 Series

by Chase Jackson

  “Got it,” I grabbed a yellow cardboard carton of Land-O-Lakes and balanced it on top of the chicken.

  “Eggs. Milk.”

  “Check and check,” I said as I reached for the styrofoam egg carton with my free hand, then hooked my pinky through the handle on the plastic milk carton.

  “...and breadcrumbs.”

  I eased the refrigerator door shut with the heel of my foot, then I shifted the ingredients around in my arms and carefully reached into the spice cabinet and grabbed a canister of breadcrumbs from the top shelf.

  “Anything else?” I asked, glancing up at Charlotte. She eyed the armful of ingredients I was carrying and shook her head.

  “Then I guess we’re ready to get started!” I said. I hobbled across the kitchen and unloaded the armful of ingredients onto the countertop, then I rolled up my shirt sleeves.

  Tonight Charlotte and I were attempting to broaden our culinary horizons with a recipe for chicken parmesan. It was my first attempt at making the dish, but I was fairly confident that I had it in the bag.

  “Alright, kiddo,” I said, nodding towards the kitchen sink. “Scrub up and get in here!”

  While Charlie washed her hands in the sink, I grabbed a mixing bowl and a whisk. Before I could go any further than that, I heard the doorbell ring.

  Charlotte gasped and spun around from the sink, splaying specks of water across the kitchen.

  “Who’s that?!” she asked. Then her entire face lit up, and she added eagerly, “Is Desiree coming to have dinner with us again?!”

  “Not tonight, kiddo,” I smiled. “But we can invite her again soon, if you want.”

  “YES!” Charlie jumped up and down at the sink.

  “Finish washing those hands,” I ordered. “I’ll go see who is at the door.”

  I ruffled her hair on my way out of the kitchen. I was a few paces away from the front door when I heard the bell ring a second time.

  “I’m coming!” I shouted as I reached out to unlatch the deadbolt, then swing open the door.

  Have you ever felt an instant sense of regret? You know… that feeling you get right after you step in a pile of steaming hot dog shit, or drop a jar of tomato sauce at the grocery store. You immediately realize that you’ve fucked up, but there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. All you can do is watch, in horror, as it plays out; as dog shit seeps into your brand new sneakers, or as the jar cracks and bright red Ragu splatters in all directions.

  That’s the feeling I got when I opened the door to my apartment and saw Haley Scott standing on my welcome mat.

  Oh, shit.

  “Hey, Rory,” she smiled at me. “Long time no see.”

  “What the hell are you doing here?!” I hissed.

  “It’s funny you should ask,” she cocked her head to one side. “That’s the exact same question I wanted to ask you when I heard that you had up and moved to another state without telling me.”

  I clenched my jaw tight, grinding my teeth together.

  “I tried to tell you,” I snarled through gritted teeth. “But it’s kinda hard to do that when the mother of your child goes MIA for months at a time.”

  “You have my number,” she shrugged. “You could have called.”

  “You use burner phones. Your number changes every week. And besides… I thought you were going to prison?”

  “I got a plea deal,” she said. “Twelve months of probation, and I have to enroll in a mandatory drug treatment program.”

  “You mean rehab?”

  “No. It’s an outpatient program,” she said. “It’s basically like going to Alcoholics Anonymous for junkies… except it’s not anonymous, and there are weekly piss tests.”

  “Well I’m glad you’re on the road to recovery,” I said flatly. “Maybe once you’ve been sober for a few months, you can start visiting Charlotte again.”

  I started to shut the door, but she kicked out her foot to stop me.

  “You can’t keep her from me,” she growled.

  “I’m not keeping her away from you,” I said, making a conscious effort to keep my voice down. “I just don’t want to get her hopes up--”

  But it was too late. I had barely gotten the words out of my mouth when I heard Charlie’s voice squeak behind me,

  “Mommy? Is-is that really you?”

  My heart plummeted into my stomach as I slowly turned around and saw Charlie standing in the entryway behind me.

  Haley used the opportunity to wedge herself through the gap in the doorway and sneak into the apartment. Her arms were loaded with bright pink gift bags, and she dropped them all on the floor in a giant mountain.

  “Hey baby!” she squawked in an artificially high voice. She dropped down to her knees and flung out her arms. “Come give Mommy a big hug!”

  Charlie glanced at me, as if to ask for permission. I felt like I had swallowed a rock. My stomach was heavy and my mouth was dry. I had no idea what to say…

  Charlie’s eyes flicked back and forth, then she scampered towards her mother.

  “Mommy!” she squealed, running straight into Haley’s outstretched arms. “I missed you!”

  “Oh, I missed you too, baby!” Haley said, rocking Charlie back and forth in her arms. “I got you presents!”

  “You did?!”

  “Yeah, look!” Haley pointed to the pile of gift bags. From where I was standing, the pile might as well have been a bear trap… but I knew that Charlotte just saw pink bows and tissue paper.

  “Thank you, Mommy!” Charlie said, hugging Haley again. Then she asked, “Are you going to stay for real this time?”

  “Of course I am,” Haley said. “Mommy isn’t going anywhere.” As she said the words, her eyes flicked up to me and she shot me a dark wink.

  I felt a wave of disgust curdle through my gut. I didn’t give a shit what Haley said or did to me… but she had no business involving our daughter in her drama.

  “You can have dinner with us!” Charlie said, beaming brightly up at Haley.

  “I’d love that,” Haley said, bopping her finger on the tip of Charlotte’s nose. I sneered, folding my arms over my chest.

  How the fuck can I fix this?!

  Charlie grabbed Haley by the hand and took her on a guided tour of the apartment while I slinked back to the kitchen. The ingredients were still waiting on the kitchen counter, but I didn’t feel like cooking anymore. Suddenly our happy dinner for two had an unwelcome third wheel…

  I sighed and reached for the pizza delivery menu.

  ***

  An hour later we were sitting around the kitchen table with a stack of cardboard pizza boxes. Haley was playing ‘doting mom,’ and Charlie was eating the routine up like soft serve ice cream with a spoon.

  I had to force myself to bite my tongue and act normal. I knew how much Charlotte cared about her mother, and I didn’t want to make the situation any more fucked up than it already was.

  But the more I listened to Haley, the harder it got to bite my tongue and stay quiet. In the last half hour alone, she had talked about moving to Hartford and taking a family trip to the beach.

  She was promising Charlie the sun and the stars, and I knew Haley well enough to know that she wasn’t the kind of person who made good on her promises.

  Still, the promises kept on coming,

  “Maybe we can have a special girls day!” Haley suggested. “I could pick you up tomorrow and we could go to the spa! We could get pedicures, then go out for lunch… wouldn’t that be so fun?”

  “Charlotte has school tomorrow,” I reminded Haley sternly, clenching my teeth together.

  “Oh, right,” Haley shrugged. “Well… Saturday then!”

  “Yes!” Charlie nodded her head up and down. “I’ve never had a pedicure before! Please, Daddy?”

  “We’ll see,” I said. “Let’s take it one day at a time, ok?”

  “Come on, Daddy!” Charlie pouted. “Please?”
>
  “Yeah, come on, Daddy!” Haley pressed her lips out in a hideous pout, and I felt my insides cringe. “Pwetty pwease?”

  “I said we’ll see--”

  Just then, the doorbell rang.

  “I’ll get it!” Charlie announced, jerking her seat back from the table and scampering towards the entryway. As soon as she was out of earshot, I shot a vicious glare across the table at Haley.

  “Stop,” I snarled.

  “What?”

  “You know exactly what. You’re getting her hopes up.”

  “I’m making plans with my daughter,” she scoffed, taking offense.

  “You have no right to just--” before I could finish, Charlotte was sprinting back into the room.

  “Look who it is!” she announced breathlessly. I glanced over my shoulder and had my second “oh shit” moment of the night.

  “Des,” I gasped. “What are you--”

  “Who the hell are you?!” Haley demanded, jumping up from the table. Her Mommy Dearest demeanor was dead and gone, and she was right back to being the volatile, nasty version of Haley Scott that I remembered…

  “I was just stopping by to drop off this,” Des said, holding up an envelope. “I should have called first… it’s a bad time…”

  “Is anyone going to tell me who this chick is?!” Haley demanded angrily. “Because she has some nerve showing up unannounced, and interrupting a family dinner.”

  “Family?” Des shook her head, confused. She glanced back at me.

  “Did I stutter?” Haley yelled. “F-A-M-I-L-Y.”

  “Haley, STOP,” I said firmly. I would have said a hell of a lot worse than that, if Charlie hadn’t been in the room. When I turned to Des, she was already backing out of the room.

  “I’m just gonna go,” she mumbled. I pushed my chair back and stood up, but she had already slipped out of the room.

  She was out of the apartment and halfway down the stairs when I caught up with her.

  “Des, wait!” I called after her.

  “No, it’s fine,” she said. “I’m sorry I interrupted your family dinner.”

  “You didn’t interrupt anything,” I insisted. “Please, just let me explain--”

  “Explain what?!” Des caught herself on the banister and spun around to face me. “Was that Charlie’s mother?”

  “Yes,” I said. “But she wasn’t supposed to be here. She just showed up, and--”

  “Please… don’t,” she said, shaking her head slowly. “She was right. I’m not part of your family.”

  She reached up and shoved the envelope into my hands, then she turned and ran down the stairs.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX | DESIREE

  “Looks like somebody could use a little more Chardonnay,” the bartender said.

  “Huh?” I glanced up from my iPhone, confused.

  “More Chardonnay,” he repeated, pointing at the empty wine glass resting next to me on the laquered wooden bar.

  “Oh, right,” I nodded. “Yeah, I think I’m still about twenty glasses away from where I need to be right now, so keep ‘em coming.”

  The bartender raised his eyebrows in silent judgement but said nothing as he flashed me the ‘a-ok’ gesture with his hand, then reached under the bar for a chilled bottle of white wine.

  “Sorry,” I said. “It’s just been a long week.”

  “I can tell,” he said, giving me a wise wink as he poured a generous serving into my wine glass. Then he wedged the cork back into the bottle and set it next to my glass. “I’ll just leave this here.”

  I smiled appreciatively, then slumped forward on the bar.

  You know your life is in complete shambles when even the bartender at Rusty’s Tavern thinks you’re a hot mess…

  It was a Friday night, and I had reluctantly agreed to tag along with a group of fellow faculty members for a couple rounds of happy hour beers at the local dive bar.

  Truth be told, Rusty’s Tavern was one of the last places I wanted to spend my Friday night… especially after the bang-up week I had had. But even a mildew-infested dive bar was better than going back to my apartment right now...

  In a desperate attempt to motivate me to move out before my thirty days was up, my roommate Kas had already started the process of moving her new boyfriend in.

  I couldn’t tell if Stuart was deliberately trying to drive me to the brinks of lunacy, or if he was just genuinely a terrible human being. Either way, he made living in the apartment next to impossible. He would cook six-course meals in the middle of the night, and during the day he would lounge on the couch in his boxers watching Jerry Springer and drinking milk straight out of the gallon.

  The only positive to come out of the whole arrangement was the fact that Stuart served as one giant, partially-nude distraction from the memories of what had transpired at Rory’s apartment.

  I kept thinking of ways to blame it on myself, I should have known better than to drive over to Rory’s place unannounced. I should have known better than to let my walls down so quickly. I should have known better than to turn a blind eye to all the things that made our relationship so inherently and utterly complicated.

  Rory had a daughter… of course that meant that Charlotte had a mother, too. And of course the three of them would always be a family, in a way that the three of us never could be.

  I was stupid to ever assume otherwise.

  My iPhone screen lit up and I glanced down at the notifications. I had ten unread text messages to scroll through; all responses to the advertisement seeking a new roommate that I had placed on CraigsList.

  My eyes skimmed the first text message, and I immediately grimaced. It was from an out-of-state phone number, and the message read,

  ‘Male, 34, looking 4 roommate / possible FWB. If this sounds like u, plz send pics ;)’

  No thanks. I wrinkled my nose in disgust as I swiped the text message off of my screen to delete it. Before I could move on to the next message in the queue, my phone vibrated and the screen flashed to display an incoming phone call.

  As soon as I saw Rory’s name on caller ID, my heart seized in my chest. I dropped the phone on the bar and reached for my wine glass, then swallowed down the biggest gulp I could manage.

  The phone was still vibrating when I set the glass down, and I stared at the screen debating whether or not to answer.

  Part of me was desperate just to hear his voice again… but another part of me felt foolish for ever thinking Rory could really be mine in the first place. Either way, 100% of me just wanted to chuck my phone behind the bar so I would never have to look at it again.

  I was evaluating the trajectory I would need to sink my phone in the ice box behind the bar, when I heard someone slide into the stool beside me.

  “Aren’t you gonna answer that?” he asked, nodding to my phone.

  “What?” I glanced up and saw Andy White; well-meaning PE teacher and coordinator of teacher trivia nights at the high school.

  “Your phone,” he said, dropping a bottle of PBR on the bar next to my wine glass. “Someone’s calling you… aren’t you going to pick up?”

  “No,” I said, swallowing heavily and glancing down at the phone screen. “I’m not ready yet.”

  “Oh,” Andy raised his eyebrows, unsure of what to say. The phone finally stopped vibrating and went to voicemail, and finally the screen faded to black.

  “So,” Andy tried again. “I was surprised to see you here tonight. You don’t usually come to happy hour with us.”

  “I needed an excuse to get out of the house,” I shrugged, taking another long sip of wine.

  “Uh-oh,” Andy nodded. “Now I’m starting to understand why you went for the bottle instead of the glass.”

  I tried to chuckle, but the best I could do was a weak smile.

  “It’s just been one of those weeks,” I said, pinching the stem of my wine glass.

  “Well, little known fact about me, I’m actuall
y a substitute guidance counselor. So if you want to talk… I can offer guidance. Or counsel. Or even a little bit of both…”

  I glanced at Andy and made another attempt at a smile.

  “That’s really nice of you to offer,” I said sincerely. “Thanks. But… I think I’m just going to drown my sorrows in cheap wine, and keep my fingers crossed that I don’t do any long-term damage to my emotional well-being. Or my liver.”

  “That doesn’t sound like the healthiest coping mechanism, but uh… cheers?” Andy clinked his beer bottle against my glass with a shrug, then took a swig.

  “Cheers,” I said, taking a small sip of wine.

  My phone started vibrating again, and when I glanced down I saw another incoming call from Rory.

  “Is this guy bothering you?” Andy asked in a faux-macho voice. “Because if he’s bothering you… you can let him know that you’re friends with a PE teacher from Hartford High.”

  “No. It’s…” my voice trailed off and I shook my head, unsure of what to say.

  “Complicated?” Andy guessed for me. Then he teased, “Jeez, I was expecting a more descriptive adjective. You are an English teacher, after all…”

  “Sorry to disappoint,” I said dryly, keeping my eyes locked on the phone.

  I knew that Andy was just trying to be friendly, but I wanted to be alone. Even making polite small-talk felt absolutely draining.

  The phone stopped vibrating as the call bounced to voicemail. Before the screen could fade, a text message popped up. It was from Rory,

  ‘I’m not giving up, Des. Not again.’

  My mouth fell open and I cradled my phone in my hands, blinking down at the screen. I couldn’t tell if my head was spinning, or if all of the wine was finally catching up with me.

  “Well, I guess I’ll leave you two alone,” Andy said finally, picking up his beer. He slid off of his stool, then he paused and turned back around to face me.

  “I know you’re in the middle of some sort of complicated relationship with your phone at the moment,” he said. “But I’d love to take you to dinner sometime, if you’re interested…”

  I swallowed the lump in the back of my throat and stared up at Andy. My head was still spinning in circles, but I tried my best to give him a warm smile.