A Menu For Loving

by Olivia Gaines

Tino took a seat and looked around the house. There was nothing fancy about any of the décor. It was rather plain, with a few pieces that may have been worth a few hundred dollars. His brother was either strapped for funds or lived a very humble life. It did not escape Tony’s notice.

  “My father was a minister. So were his father and his father before him. I only buy what I need and place very little value on the material,” he said flatly.

  It was the perfect segue for Tino, who asked, “Did she ever mention my father? Or who he could be?”

  Tony clenched his fist, then relaxed his hand. “She has provided little, almost no information about him other than he was black.”

  Tino’s mouth dropped and Ebony’s eyes went to his crotch as she mumbled, “Well, that explains that....”

  Tony watched his brother who was now standing and pacing. He was moving so fast that Ebony had to grab him to prevent him, knocking over Sasha when she returned with the lemonades. Tony asked, “Tino, are you okay?”

  Suddenly, Tino stopped pacing, “No, I am not okay. I just found out that I’m black. That is not something you tell someone like, “Hey man, how about a beer?” Also did you know you were black?”

  Ebony’s feathers were ruffled. “You have a problem with being black, Tino?”

  He shook his head. “No, that is not what I meant. I mean, how would you feel? Seriously, the first thing that popped into my head was the slip you a Mickey dude....”

  Tony busted up in laughter. “When she told me, I thought the same thing!”

  It was uncertain why the two of them were trying to best each other with the famous man impersonations, sticking to old pudding ads. Ebony could not believe either of them. She cut through the silliness. “Tony, did she say or mention the relationship between her and Tino’s father?”

  The laughter ceased. “No, and we will never question her about it, you understand me? This is very troubling for her and we are getting her some counseling to help her deal with a number of issues. Giving away her child is at the top of that list.”

  His voice was stern as he continued. “However, from my understanding, when my father left to do his missionary work in Grenada is when you were born. It fits the timeline. She kept and raised you until he was due to return and that is when she sent you to live with Tom and Mary. I’m not sure if my father ever knew about you.”

  “So I was a dirty little secret?” Tino asked with a frown on his face.

  Tony shook his head. “We,” he said as he used his hand to make a circle which included the four of them, Sasha as well, “... have no idea about the grounds or the means of your conception. I will say this, when she mentioned your father was black, she retreated into herself to a very dark place.”

  Tino’s eyes met him. “Are you saying I’m the product of rape?”

  Tony shook his head fervently. “No! I said we have no idea what the circumstances are of your conception and we will never know unless she chooses to disclose that to you. It is not our place to know.”

  Tino was hit with a spark of anger, puffing up his chest to his big brother. “What do you mean? I have every right to know!”

  Tony moved so fast that both Sasha and Ebony jumped. He stood toe-to-toe with Tino. “You wanted to spend some time with our mother and get to know her. Those were the terms. Be grateful for the blessing of life that she gave you and the blessing of a good family and a good upbringing. Understand?”

  Tino backed down. “Yeah, I guess.”

  Tony did not back down at all. “Don’t guess! Know! She could have aborted you, but she didn’t. She checked on you and was there for the major events in your life. Regardless of how you were created or the circumstances which brought you into this world, Tino, she loved you enough to do those things.”

  It was not satisfactory enough for Tino, who felt he was still owed some form of explanation. Tony was going to smooth him over and give him one of the answers he needed. “Tino, I grew up in the house with her and I received no more love than you did, and she was married to our father.”

  Sasha worked hard on the late lunch, serving salmon with jasmine rice and bacon wrapped asparagus. Ebony could not get over that a 13-year-old could cook better than she could, and Tino would not let it go either. He asked Sasha to come up during the summer to provide Ebony some lessons. Although he had tried to convince Jennifer to come up as well, both turned him down.

  Sasha was more direct. “Uncle Tino, cooking has to be a passion for you. The food has to speak to you, and if not, then you will not be able to cook.” Ebony understood what she meant. Food to her was fuel. She ate enough to keep her belly from rumbling, but a bowl of soup and grilled cheese sandwich was enough for her. Yet, judging by the way Tino ate, she also understood that she must learn to cook. Another blessing that arrived with lunch was that the food was so good, no one was talking.

  Jacqueline arrived right at four p.m., wearing a pink dress that she had taken pleasure in making this week. She made it special for the occasion. Her one piece of jewelry that was of value, the pearls given to her when her mother passed, hung about her neck. Nervous fingers toyed with the orbs as she stepped through the door and saw her son standing before her.

  “Sasha you were right. Valentino, you are so handsome,” she said as she opened her arms for him to come in for a hug.

  Cleo and Waldo stood behind her and watched the warm reunion. When Tino finally extricated himself, he was able to meet his sister. “Hello, you,” he told her, not sure what her reaction was going to be.

  With Tino standing next to Tony, she could see the resemblance between her brothers, both favoring their mother, whereas she looked like Isaiah Peay had spit her out. “Valentino, this is my husband, the Reverend Doctor Waldo Jones.”

  Tino caught it right away. “So your name is Cleopatra Jones?”

  “We have never seen the movie so don’t ask. Sasha, what’s for lunch?” she said as she stepped around her brothers to go lend a hand in the kitchen.

  Waldo extended his hand for greeting as Tino’s eyes went to Tony who quickly stated, “Let’s have prayer and lunch.”

  It was a pleasant affair with no one knowing quite what to say to the other members at the table until Jacqueline broke the silence. “Valentino, if you had not stumbled into house flipping and real estate, what would you have wanted to do with your life?”

  He smiled at his mother. “Believe it or not, I would have wanted to be a singer. I love jazz.”

  The smile that lit up her face was something neither Cleo nor Tony had ever seen from their mother. “Really? Me, too. I was going to be a jazz singer. I used to sing all the time in the traveling choir. Music was everything to me ...” her voice trailed off.

  Ebony spoke up, “Well he inherited that part fair and square from you. I kid you not the man has a soundtrack for every moment of his life.”

  Tino frowned at her, directing his attention back to his birth mother. “Jacqueline, might I ask, what is one of your favorite songs?”

  “Oh, it’s been so long since I sang anything, Valentino, but I was always very fond of the Eagles,” she said as she pressed her fingers to her lips. The crow’s feet at the corners of her eyes gathered as she recalled a fond memory. Tino pulled his phone from his pocket and cued up Love Will Keep Us Alive. He took the first verses in a very clear tenor, which seemed to transfix everyone at the table. As he rounded the first section of lyrics, heading to the refrain as the music played, Jacqueline chimed in with a beautiful soprano voice, clear with perfect pitch, creating a beautiful harmony along with her son. The words took on new meaning for them both as she touched his hands, emphasizing the words I would die for you, with her fingers moving to his face. Tino fell apart, choking on the words he was trying to sing. Ebony lowered her eyes as they filled with tears watching the beautiful moment between mother and son.

  Jacqueline held her son in her arms. “Just because I could not keep you, did not mean I didn’t love you. You were a wonderful baby. So ful
l of love. I could not help but love you. It broke my heart to give you away.”

  It was all he needed to hear. The details of his conception and his father became irrelevant. Tom Boehner was the only father he knew and the only one he needed to know. He also had two mothers. Both of whom loved him and gave him a life. Finally, the journey to understanding who and where he had come from was answered. He was no longer hungry for the knowledge and his appetite for understanding why she would give him away and keep the two other children did not matter to him. The hole was being filled, even if it was a pudding spoon, adding one serving at a time.

  Ice Cream...

  Jennifer was nervous as she walked up to the front door of the traditional colonial home with the oversized front porch. She loved the six rocking chairs and the pots of colorful flowers. The hummingbirds flitted around the feeder in the corner and the small table held a copy of a well-worn magazine. There was even a ring in the wood of the table where a glass sat frequently, possibly holding a refreshing glass of lemonade or ice tea on hot Southern evenings. This was where his mother loved to spend her time. The chair nearest the table also held a cushion that showed off the butt print of a thin woman who made this her spot of respite.

  In her right hand she had brought along a bouquet of fresh flowers for her mother-in-law to be and her left hand held a very large bowl of her venison meatballs in a honey mustard barbeque sauce. It had taken her years to get the recipe just right, as well as figure out how to cook all the venison her dad would bring home each year. Even to this day, the home freezer was full of the stuff. She only hoped that Tony’s family would like what she decided to bring.

  Before she could ring the doorbell, she looked up to find Sasha standing in the old-fashioned screen door. “Oh! You startled me,” Jennifer told the girl who was still watching her with some concern. “Is everything okay, Sasha?”

  The door must have held a traditional fence gate latch, which was released as the girl stepped out on the porch. “Yes, Chef Jennifer, but I was hoping we could have a word before you went inside to meet my grandma.”

  “Hmm ... sure,” Jennifer told her as she stepped aside to allow the teen to pass. Sasha pointed at the chair for them both to take a seat.

  She was like a little old lady trapped in a teenager’s body. Sometimes she acted twice her age and others, she acted half of it. She was definitely an enigma that Jennifer had to learn to how understand and respond. “Our lives are about to change drastically, Chef Jennifer, and I felt it would be good for you and me to work out a couple of things before you marry my dad.”

  Jennifer didn’t know what to say. What could she say? “Okay, what is on your mind?” The tone of her words made Jennifer nervous.

  Sasha inhaled and exhaled as if she were about to deliver a boatload of bad

  news. “I don’t really know how to say this or even how to ask this question, honestly...”

  Jennifer leaned back in the rocker and crossed her legs. If they were going to have any type of relationship, Sasha had to feel comfortable to speak to her about anything, even if the discomfort was on her part. She would not rush her or assume she knew what was on the girl’s mind. Closing her eyes, she leaned back in the chair and smiled.

  It must have given the child confidence to continue what she needed to say. “I was just wondering, I mean ... you and my dad are going to be married ... and we are all going to be living together....”

  Jennifer rolled her head to the left, opening her eyes to look at Sasha, but still said nothing. “I mean ... I can’t go on calling you Chef Jennifer.... And calling you by your first name isn’t proper....”

  “What would you like to call me, Sasha?”

  “I don’t know! That’s why I am asking you! What are you comfortable with? What do you want me to call you?”

  It was a good and valid question that Jennifer had no answer to and she also did not feel like trying to find an answer right now. “We don’t have to know right away. As we move forward as a family, we will play around with some monikers and see which one feels best for you.”

  “I mean at some point, if I feel comfortable enough, I would like to call you some version of Mom. Would that be okay?”

  Jennifer gave her a full on grin. “I would love that, but only when you’re ready. Anytime you are ready to call me Mom, I will be honored.”

  Sasha Peay was ready now. She had never had a mother or knew what it felt like to live under the same roof with one. Anxious was not a word she used often, but the whole scenario made her anxious. It would be nice, though, to come home from school and yell, Mom, I’m home.

  She was also happy to admit that she was anxious for her new life to start as a whole family, with a dad, a mom and possibly a new little brother or sister. She would also have access to a pool. Summers were going to be grand.

  Where is she? Tony was getting impatient, or Jennifer must have been running late. He could not stop pacing until Tino finally walked over to him. “Maybe you should wait for her on the porch.”

  He could only provide a small grin because he felt like a fool. Why am I nervous? Ideas zinged about in his head that he had only, twice in his life, brought a woman home to meet his mother. Once in high school, and she turned out to be psychotic. The second turned out to be pregnant. He frowned as he walked over to the screen door to let himself outside. Maybe I am freaking out because I don’t have a great track record with women. Jennifer was the right woman. He knew it. He felt it in every essence of his being and when he reached the front door, he was able to see it for himself.

  Standing on the porch was his future wife in a warm embrace with his daughter. He overheard the tail end of the conversation. Jennifer was consenting to let Sasha call her Mom. It nearly buckled his knees. He backed away from the door slowly and retreated to his childhood bedroom.

  The squeaky old bed was still there, which complained audibly when he placed his weight on the side. He lowered his head, his elbows resting on his knees, and took a deep breath. In the privacy of his room, he shifted his position to the floor, where he took to his knees and began to give thanks.

  Lunch was a very somber affair and oddly enough, Cleo took an immediate liking to Jennifer, although she had very little to say to Ebony. Ever the diplomat, Jennifer whispered to Ebony in the kitchen, “It’s probably because I will be taking Sasha off of her hands.”

  “Yes, I met her yesterday and you are going to have your hands full,” Ebony confided in her.

  “Nah. I think she just needs some girl time, full time, you know what I mean?” Jennifer responded and was surprised when Jacqueline also answered.

  “I agree with you, Jennifer. A mother is very important for the development of a young girl. She sees me as too old and her Aunt Cleo as too stodgy, but she relates to you,” Jacqueline said quietly. “My Anthony is a lucky man to have you, Jennifer.”

  This statement, too, ruffled Ebony’s feather’s a bit, but it was remedied. “Ebony, I don’t know Tino well enough to make a call on what he was like before you two became involved. However, I will ask this of you,” she paused for a second. “You will need to learn to cook. He has made several comments about it, and that seems like something that is important to him.”

  “Mrs. Peay, he was a brute before we started dating. Now, he is still a brute, just a bit tender in his touch,” she told his mother.

  Jacqueline, dressed in a blue cotton dress, looked tired. “You two seem like very nice girls. I am really looking forward to some more grandbabies.”

  Ebony’s eyes were wide while she mumbled, no time soon. And Jennifer placed her hands on her stomach hoping for the opposite. Like her father had reminded her, she was in her 30s. She didn’t have a lot of time left.

  She watched Tony washing the dishes with Sasha and admired his commitment to his daughter. In her heart, she knew she had chosen well. Tony Peay was like a cool scoop of vanilla ice cream on a hot Southern day. Now to get into the details needed before they could start a l
ife together as a family.

  Nuts...

  Life, like love, can be a splendored affair, full of hopes and desires to begin a life with family, friends and common goals. The life Johnny Taylor had led was a quiet life that centered on his daughters and his wife. It had been a good life, full of promise and hope, until cervical cancer knocked on their doorstep. The pool house had just been built and the new patio constructed so that when summer rolled around, they would be ready to host pool parties for their girls. Gloria was 13 and Jennifer was about to turn 11.

  The cancer not only stole Carlisa Taylor’s strength, it also took her joy and any pleasantness that was left in their lives. She became a bitter woman, full of anger and resentment that Johnny would be alive and healthy, and she would no longer exist. She looked at her two daughters, Gloria, who looked so much like her father, and Jennifer, who looked too much like her. Gloria, like her father, tried to be optimistic, but Carlisa was dying. At 34 years of age, she was dying. The women were flocking about her house like vultures, picking over her things and trying to take her family. The sheer venom she spewed at anyone who came near her relegated her visitors to only her father, an aunt and the pastor, who, too, eventually stopped coming by.

  Yet Johnny stayed at her side. He never spoke a harsh word to her until one day, when even he’d had enough of her histrionics and hatred yelled at her, “Would you just die already!”

  He resented those words for the rest of his life. Somewhere in the middle of the night, Carlisa found enough strength to down the bottle of pain pills, which stole her last breaths in the wee hours of the morning. He knew because when he checked on her, the body was still warm. Johnny had not realized how tired he had been until after her form was taken from the house that he lay down and slept for nearly 16 hours. It had taken the cancer nearly three years to claim her, but it had claimed all of them.

  Gloria, now 16, came out to her father as a proud lover of women and an advocated for women’s rights. She graduated high school and went to a local women’s college, where Johnny swore, she perfected her lesbianism. His beautiful 13-year-old Jennifer was his world and he doted on her. They were more friends than father and daughter, and she, too, eventually left the nest. No words could describe his joy when the baby bird came home. Now, as he had hoped, she found herself a nice man and was about to be married. Joy was coming back into the house again. It would be welcomed.