The Eyes That Own Me (Timing is Everything Book 1)

by Rebecca Fischer

  College was no different. I got the “I don’t want a girlfriend speech” at least a half-dozen times after only a few dates and yet, as little as a few weeks later, they found one. There was also the ever-present ‘ghosting’ bull crap that guys use to avoid girls and just disappear from their lives. I even went on the blind dates my friends set up that were complete failures and time that I will never get back.

  A person can only take so much stupidity and rejection.

  I’d rather stay single than be put through the constant drama.

  I’ve never been a guy’s first choice. There is always something or someone in the way. After a while, it’s hard not to feel you are the problem. Are you too negative? Do you sound intelligent enough? Is he ashamed of you?

  Everyone has self-esteem issues, and I think mine are about average. I try not to let things get to me, but I’m only human. I can’t be protected from everything life throws at me.

  When I’ve truly thought about it, my dating philosophies are based on having a great and independent life, but sometimes just wanting to share it with someone who means a lot to me. There are days when all I want is to be held in the safety and comfort of a strong set of arms, even if it was a good day. I don’t want to be dependent on anyone. My family has taught me to be self-sufficient, but I just want a man I can share my life with. The bad days where I want to rip my hair out and the successful ones when I open my own restaurant someday. That best friend whom you also love with your whole heart.

  I’m at the point in my life where I want something real. I don’t want the naivety of a high school romance. I don’t want the collegiate partying hook-up only crap. I know you could meet your soul mate in either, but those are for the rare and lucky few. I want a relationship that will last. I want someone who will accept me and help me grow as a person. I get lost in my own head a lot these days, and very few people truly know me. Being with Matt the other night at the coffee shop made me wonder if he can bring out the old and braver outgoing me that I used to be.

  I’ve only had maybe two real boyfriends in the last six years, and they both lasted under a year. I’ve tried, I really have to date and even tried hooking up, but nothing was ever close to what I was looking for.

  Don’t get me wrong, I like sex. In fact, I love it. I lost my virginity at seventeen to a summer camp friend before my senior year drama. I saw too many of my friends get dumped after giving it up, so I wanted as little drama as possible. Senior year was the catalyst for me to turn into my own head. I used to be at every outing possible, participated in anything Aiken offered, and was always surrounded by a sea of people. I never craved the attention, but I didn’t purposefully shy away from it. Now, I only hang out with a select group of people and only involve myself in events that make me calm or have a sentimental feeling behind them. Opening my own restaurant was supposed to be my way of trying to open myself to the community. I guess it’s taking me longer than I wanted because I’m in constant fear of being judged or failing quickly.

  There are times when past male-related events come back to haunt my thoughts. I’ll see people on campus or read something in a book that gets me caught up in my dreams, usually bad ones.

  Thinking of one of my exes sexually makes me shudder in disgust. Jared had a tendency to get handsy in public, and it got really old after a while. Saying stop should only happen once and finally, I got fed up. I don’t mind PDA, but when it turns to needing a motel room, I fight the urge to vomit. Jared tried to border on public indecency, even in front of children. It takes a lot to piss me off, and he took the cake. I was only nineteen and liked the attention at first. It was my first time putting myself out there since high school, and he focused solely on me. Unfortunately, he’s another reason why I set my boundaries quickly.

  Grant was a good guy. We were together for nearly ten months. The sex was good once I got comfortable with him, but there was no real passion. He was sweet and a gentleman. He was a senior when I was a junior and had taken a job offer in Boston right before his graduation. Neither of us knew we’d make a long distance relationship work, so we parted amicably after he graduated. I heard through some of his friends that he just got engaged, and I couldn’t be happier for him.

  Matt looks like he could let me enjoy my naughty side. Heck, he looks like he would command one. I read some romance novels in my spare time, and it helps me indulge in a few fantasies. Reading relaxes me in general, but every now and then, it’s awesome to throw myself into a guilty pleasure of hot men and steamy sex. Realistically, I’ve become a giant chicken with my sexuality and essentially have turned into a nun. Maybe I should join a convent instead of open a restaurant. But then, I probably wouldn’t be able to stare at the abs all over the covers of the novels that I read or watch movies with hot actors that I can drool over.

  Alright.

  Enough of the sex-dreaming, Charlie.

  I’m going to let loose, enjoy girl’s night, and table all of the drama for a different day. Actually, a different lifetime.

  The Barn always plays my favorite music. I’m not one of those girls who needs liquid courage to have fun and dance, especially if I’m with my closest friends, but I will enjoy a drink or two on occasion. Yeah, I get nervous around new people, but dancing to good music is just another way that life lets me leave my own head for a while. I know I’m somewhat of a contradiction, but ultimately, I do what makes me happy.

  After Cole Swindell’s set, which was awesome, one of my absolute favorite songs comes on. ‘Smack Dab’ by Chasin’ Crazy blasts through the speakers. My friends groan and laugh at me, knowing how much I love this song; they’re completely sick of hearing it on repeat in the car.

  Bree screeches over the music, “You better not have asked the DJ to play this song! You seriously have an addiction and need help!”

  “I can’t help but smile when I hear the lyrics and the beat. It’s fun and uplifting!”

  It’s how I wished a guy would look at me.

  She just laughs and shakes her head as we keep dancing. This is exactly what they know I need to relax even when I refuse.

  Halfway through the song, I look over and easily spot Matt watching me. He has this look in his eyes that he might just throw me over his shoulder to have his wicked way with me. Well, doesn’t that just make me shiver to my bones? All he’s doing is looking at me, and I’m getting wet. Wearing a skirt, knowing he might be near tonight, was probably a bad idea.

  Once the earlier anger fades, I notice that he looks freakin’ sexy as I approach him. The jerk.

  A black polo makes his arms look so inviting for me to just slide into, and he’s wearing lighter colored jeans with black shoes. Yes, I remember what he wore last time, and my brain will most likely remember this time as well. Seeing him in class is torture enough, but come on! Can he look ugly just once? Please?

  I give my head a little shake to loosen up.

  I still can’t believe he went to Aaron. For the record, my brother was not happy to be delivering the message after the joking we had during the meet and greet. His angrily twisted face was a good indication that I may not have liked what he was about to say. ‘Some guy was looking for you at the front desk. Claims he knows you from school. Says his name is Matt, and he’s waiting by the sign-in desk’. I barely had time to form a thought that Matt actually followed through on looking for me before Kylie gave me a push toward the door. But to approach my brother? Just grab me a brown paper bag to hyperventilate from the imagery of that conversation. Aaron’s been in super protective brother mode since he moved home, and it’s only intensified over the years. I’m glad Matt is in one piece from meeting him.

  Between the crazy dancing and Matt staring at me, I need some water to cool me down. I swear my legs are aching in more ways than one. I love my boots, but sometimes, they just kill my feet after a while. Not to mention, Matt has the ability to make all of my limbs turn to mush with one smile.

  As I walk up to the bar, Matt intercepts
me and holds me by my waist. I would have been more freaked out had I not already known what cologne was invading my senses.

  My back is to his front when he leans into my ear. “You looked amazing out there, sweets. Your eyes glow when you dance and the way you move. I can’t stop looking at you.” He gives my hips a squeeze and croons, “Just one dance.”

  My heart is pounding, and I can barely catch my breath. My water completely forgotten, all I can do is nod when he leads me back to the dance floor. ‘Beat of the Music’ by Brett Eldredge comes on and just like in the song, he puts his hands on my hips. Now he knows I might lose it. Well, might lose it. I feel like I fit into his body perfectly and judging by how he pulls me in tighter, he feels the same way, too.

  I’m so lost in the music and the feel of his body that I don’t protest when he spins me around. We mold front to front, his leg going in between both of mine, slightly inching my skirt up. Fantastic! Now I’m even wetter. He can probably feel me on his jeans as much as I can feel him on the side of my leg. Well, hello large cock. He moves so well, with such fluidity and confidence. Jeez, it’s downright sexy. His hands are still on my hips, and my hands have found a spot to rest on his shoulders while we move. I take the chance of looking into his eyes, and he looks at me like he can see right into me. His lips are just teasing me at this point.

  I can’t stop staring back! Gah, I’m a wimp.

  As the song ends, Matt still hasn’t let me go, possibly because he has a large problem that I’m trying my hardest not to look at or rub my hips into. He takes my hands off of his shoulders and holds onto them between us. He looks down at our conjoined hands then back up at me with a face that reflects nothing but adoration. It instantly relaxes me.

  His demand is soft and simple, “Go out with me.”

  I whisper, “Okay.”

  He puts his hand out and gives me another, yet polite, demand, “Cell phone please, ma’am?”

  I manage to think straight and take my phone from my back pocket and place it in his hand. He starts typing away, takes a picture of himself, and gives it back to me.

  Of course, he added his number and put his smiling face next to the contact information. He listed himself as ‘Your New Best Friend’. He also sent himself a text from my phone, making me just laugh and shake my head. I see him pull his phone out of his pocket. I assume he’s saving my number.

  I feel my phone vibrate in my hand and look down.

  From: Your New Best Friend

  You’re gorgeous tonight. Just thought you should know.

  I can feel my ears turning pink. I look back up at him, and he gives me a wolfish grin. I really am out of my elements now.

  “You didn’t think I’d go the whole night without telling you in some way how amazing you look. You’re really testing my restraint right now, Charlotte Hanston. I hope you know that.”

  Using what is left of my adrenaline high from dancing I respond, “You seem so sure of yourself don’t you?”

  Smirking at me, he boasts, “Oh, angel, you haven’t seen anything yet.”

  Is it bad that I love he already has a pet name for me?

  I glance toward where the girls are staring at us with eyes bugging out of their heads at our entire interaction. They immediately turn around and pretend to talk to each other. Those two are the worst actresses I’ve ever seen. Now I know how Matt felt at the concert having his friends watching him talk to me.

  My phone buzzes again.

  From: Your New Best Friend

  Friday night. 7 pm. You can pick the place you feel most comfortable.

  Even glancing up at him was probably a bad idea because I could just stare into his eyes for hours. They remind me of the double chocolate brownies I bake whenever I’m feeling particularly antsy. His cologne mixed with the sweat from us dancing is doing nothing but heightening my desire for him. Our sexual tension is stuck inside a giant balloon, and if one pin bursts the whole thing we would just attack each other.

  This dinner will be a good test for me to see if the physical attraction matches the mental and emotional one that has me scared out of my wits. I hate that I’m so suspicious, but you would be too if you didn’t want to be played for a fool again.

  My brain won’t stop running, though. I have never been this nervous for a first date. I’ve had this fantasy in my head since I first saw him last semester and with it about to come somewhat true, the questions and doubt start rising. Why does the fantasy crawl under your skin until it becomes a reality you crave? Why does your heart ache when you become disappointed that they don’t notice you?

  In a room full of people, I didn’t stand out to him. I’ve never been the girl that stops guys in their tracks. Sure, I’ve gotten a first glance, but never a double take.

  I’d like to think I know when something is right at this stage in my life. Being in Matt’s arms tonight during our dance made the feeling stronger. He held me as if I was the most precious gift he had ever been given. He looked at me as if I was the only one on his radar. I see how my brother looks at Kylie when he knows she’s not looking, and I know I would kill for someone to truly look at me like that.

  When the girls and I get back to the house, we look at every picture we took tonight and do the whole social media bragging. I added most of mine to my screen saver loop and sent some off to the photo printer so I can put them in frames. Kylie shows me a few pictures she took of Matt and I dancing.

  That little sneak.

  I’m flipping through the small gallery she made and oh my lord, the looks he’s giving me can start a fire with one blink. My eyes are closed as I hold onto his shoulders, grabbing him tightly to keep us moving. It’s not an overly sexual picture, but romantic. We’re as close as two people can be without being pornographic.

  Even after I get my stuff ready for work tomorrow, I go through my pictures all over again.

  Hands down, this will be considered one of my favorite moments in my life.

  If I knew I’d have nights like these for the rest of my life, I’d actually make more time than I do now. The only thing I can do is keep going on the calm paths I’ve made for myself. I’m no longer a risk taker, but the adrenaline rushes are quite exciting. I’m so mellow from the night that once my head hit the pillow, I’m out for the count.

  *2 weeks later*

  Finally! I’m going to make this a night to remember. The chase for Charlie is not over yet, and I don’t think it will ever be over. I have a feeling she will always keep me on my toes, but in a good way.

  Fuck, I’m nervous.

  This has not been one easy feat, let me tell you. My original night and time failed because she had a work emergency, but my patience has paid off.

  I got her talking a little bit more and more before classes, buying her drinks at the coffee shop, and I’ve upgraded from sitting behind her to sitting next to her. It’s pretty much been torture the last few weeks to not touch her. I’ve seen her feisty side, and it’s sexy as hell.

  I know she works a little earlier in the days than I do because of her job at the café. I try not to distract her during the lectures either, mostly because she just looks so darn cute when she’s concentrating. Her brow cinches into a V-shape whenever she’s trying to focus on an equation or case study. Tonight is going to be all about us getting to know each other on deeper levels. I hope to ease her into the idea that I don’t plan on going anywhere from her life anytime soon.

  I don’t care how old I am, acting like a lovesick puppy, but I find myself in unchartered territories with Charlie. It’s like a middle school crush with genuine feelings growing quickly. I might want to move forward faster than she does, but in the end, her happiness is what matters.

  Take tonight for instance.

  She is meeting me at a local restaurant called Drake’s.

  Drake’s is pretty low-key, serving classic All-American food. I wanted to pick something that wasn’t going to make Charlie uncomfortable, but since I wasn’t sure what that w
as just yet, I let her pick. I have a feeling she’d find La Amor a little too much for a first date. I’m glad I decided to let her take the reins.

  Unfortunately, she isn’t letting me pick her up. It pissed me off at first. However, it goes back to my making her more comfortable around me. Right now, I don’t even care if her mother drove her as long as she doesn’t stand me up. From what I’ve learned, Charlie isn’t used to this much sincere and caring attention from a guy. Guess I just have to keep reminding myself that slow and steady wins the most beautiful woman.

  I park my black Jeep Wrangler in the middle of the lot. Charlie texted me when she was on her way. I came a little early to request a table in a somewhat private spot. I already gave my card to the waiter so that Charlie can’t even try to pay for the meal. I’m all for women’s independence, but I will take care of my woman. Yes, she is my woman whether or not she knows it yet. Our conversations have only made me like her more. I’d say we’re even friends now. I know there is still a lot about her that I don’t know, and I’m hoping that will soon change.

  I decided to go casual tonight: dark green polo, dark blue jeans, and black shoes. I slightly styled my hair, sliding it over my forehead so I’m not constantly moving it out my face. I’d rather she run her hands through my hair to mess it up.

  I look at the menu a bit before I see the hostess’ head popping around the corner. Then I see my beauty’s dark chocolate hair right behind her. I step out of the booth to greet Charlie only to be stopped in my tracks.

  Her hair is straight and long instead of curly. She is wearing a little makeup, not caked on. She’s wearing a dark blue jean jacket over a beige lace dress that flares out at her waist cinched with a brown belt, and it stops a few inches above her knees. Since it’s still cold outside, brown tights and brown cowboy boots cover her legs.