by Geri Krotow
“Thanks, Mom.” Krista pulled away and gestured at the side of the house. “We did a good job, didn’t we?”
“Yes, we did,” Winnie agreed, not adding that someone else would have to run a roller over the whole thing. “High five!” She held her hand up and Krista slapped it in celebration.
“Is it time to go see Uncle Max?” So much for a moment of serenity.
“Yes, when Maeve wakes up from her nap.” Winnie refrained from mentioning that it wasn’t “time to go see Uncle Max” but “time to pick up the dog.” Right now, she needed all the mommy points she could get.
* * *
THEIR PLANS TO LEAVE hit a snag when Maeve didn’t wake up on her own.
“She’s pooped from such a long morning and then the meal. Let her sleep as long as she needs to.” Barbara went to the stove to prepare another pot of tea.
“No, thanks, Mom. We have to get going. It’s a school night and we have a forty-five-minute drive ahead of us.”
“I never woke you kids when you were little.” Barb tried another trick. “Never wake a sleeping baby.”
“I’ll just get her up and into her car seat.” With any luck, Maeve would doze until they got to Max’s.
“Good luck with that one. She’s cranky when she’s tired.”
As if Winnie didn’t know her own daughter. Actually, Maeve was a pretty easygoing baby. For the most part. When she ate her regular diet of veggies, protein and milk. Not so much when she’d had all kinds of high-carb treats at Barb’s.
“She’s probably still sleeping because she crashed after that sugar high from dessert.” Winnie herself had avoided the sweet gelatin-and-canned-pineapple concoction, along with the cupcakes. Barb always overdid the sweets.
“Nonsense. All you kids ate it. You’re turning into a health-nut whack-job, Winnie.”
“Thanks, Mom, I appreciate that.” She smiled at Krista. “I’ll be right back. Krista, go and load the stuff in the car, will you?”
“Sure.” Noticeably sunnier since their talk, Krista bounced about the family room gathering up their things.
Soon after, Krista was buckled into the backseat next to Maeve’s car seat, where Winnie had placed her, still sound asleep.
She turned to the driver’s-side door.
“I’m sorry you didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell us who Maeve’s father was before, Winnie.”
“Mom, don’t do a guilt number on me now. I’m sorry I worried you or stressed you at all. But I just wasn’t in a place to share any more of my life—with anyone.”
Barb sniffed. “I suppose we can talk about it at another time.” The closest thing to an olive branch Barb would ever offer her.
Winnie leaned forward and gave her mother a quick peck on the cheek. “Okay, let’s do that. Thanks for a great meal today and please don’t obsess over this, okay, Mom?”
“I don’t obsess, Winnie. I’m just concerned. I’m a mother.”
“I know.” She got in the car and started the engine. Maybe she should’ve moved after Tom was killed. She could be living anywhere else in the country, away from this constant family involvement.
But that would never have been right for Krista. Or for her, truth be told. This was where she’d been born and raised. Where she’d had her babies. The mountain views, water and strong winds were a part of her. They were in her blood.
And now in her daughters’.
* * *
THE DRIVE DOWN TO WHIDBEY and into Dugualla Bay was quiet. Maeve slept on, and Krista listened to her MP3 player.
She’s thinking about our conversation.
A lump formed in Winnie’s throat and her tears made the road waver. She blinked.
She’d get through this, damn it. She had to.
Problem was, she’d taken on too much during the past eighteen months. It was her own fault. Keeping secrets took a lot of energy and energy wasn’t something she had to spare these days.
“You okay, Mom?”
Krista’s worried voice jarred her out of her thoughts.
“Just digesting the day, sweetheart. You know I’m sorry, right?”
“Yes, Mom, you’ve said that a million times. But don’t ever block me out again.”
Winnie drew in a breath, then let her shoulders relax against the seat.
They pulled into Max’s drive twenty minutes later and Winnie shut off the engine. She wished she could keep it running and fetch Sam in a quick pit stop. But nothing with Max was ever going to be quick again. Not as long as Krista and Maeve had anything to do with it.
Heck, even her family—her parents and siblings—posed a threat. She wouldn’t put it past them to come down here and subject him to an inquisition.
They wouldn’t, of course. At least not tonight…
Max opened the front door as she climbed up the steps and Sam came racing out to greet her.
“Hi, big boy! Were you a good boy?” She rubbed his ears and chest, and his tongue lolled to the side in canine ecstasy.
“He was great. We walked for a few miles yesterday, and went on another long one this morning. He really flakes out when he gets back into the house.” Was that a note of pride in Max’s voice?
Sam’s tail thumped next to her foot as he gazed adoringly up at Max.
“I’m glad you enjoyed your time together. I won’t take any more of it, though. Maeve’s asleep in the car and Krista’s watching her. We have to get back—it’s a school night.”
“She doesn’t look asleep to me.” Max nodded toward the drive and Winnie turned to see Maeve banging her yellow stuffed rabbit against the window. Krista waved.
“Oh.” Of course Maeve was awake. “We still have a half-hour drive home and, like I said, tomorrow’s a school day. I need to go.”
“Let me buy you all ice cream. I’ll follow you into town and we’ll stop at Dolly’s.”
Winnie opened her mouth, the refusal ready to fire. They’d eaten at her parents’, and the girls didn’t need a second dessert.
She shut her mouth. And bit her lip.
“Ouch!” She winced.
Max frowned. “You okay? I don’t mean to upset you, Winnie. I just thought it might be fun to take the girls out for a treat.” He stared at her. “You look awful. What happened with your parents?”
“They found out you’re Maeve’s father.”
He whistled. “So you never told them, either.”
“Of course I didn’t. I wouldn’t tell someone else and not tell you. Except for Robyn.”
He stood silent for a minute. She looked down at the ground. Then his arms were around her before she could protest and he embraced her in a big bear hug. “It’s going to be okay, Winnie. One step at a time.”
His strong arms held her tight, his chest warm against her forehead. There was nothing sexual in his gesture—just a friend’s comfort.
Until she turned her head and laid it on his shoulder, for the briefest moment. The scant inch it drew their bodies closer was too much. Winnie heard his heartbeat and felt his chest move as he breathed.
She pulled away from his warmth before she wanted, needed, more than a hug. A glance at the car revealed that they had a rapt audience.
“I don’t need your sympathy, Max.”
“It’s not sympathy, Win. Trust me. I’m just showing some compassion and concern for the mother of my child. Now let me buy you an ice cream.”
If Krista ever learned that Uncle Max had invited them out and Winnie had refused, it would only cause more heartache than Winnie could stand.
“Okay. Thanks,” she muttered. “You’ll follow us?”
“Right behind you.”
“See you there.”
* * *
HE WATCHED HER CLIP on Sam’s leash and walk him to her car. He knew she felt beaten down and emotionally exhausted. He’d been there; hell, he was still there. It’d been a long week. But in spite of the stress and the difficult transition, he knew one thing had never changed between them.
; Max wanted her in his bed, and as much as Winnie might deny it, she wanted it, too.
Their situation wasn’t as simple as merely dating a single mother. He’d done that. This single mom was Winnie. She was complicated and they had a tangled history—because of Tom, because of that night two years ago. Max never turned down a challenge, but even though he wanted to go to bed with her again, he didn’t want the complications that would undoubtedly ensue.
He followed her station wagon and pulled in beside to her at Dolly’s Dairy Delight. Time to work on the friendship. Forget any hope of being a couple. And yes, forget the sex!
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
WINNIE STARTED THE DAY the same way she’d started every day in the weeks since Max had learned about Maeve. Had it been an entire month already? Since she’d told Max he was a father, since she’d been fighting her constant attraction to him?
She saw that Krista was awake and carried Maeve into the kitchen, where she made her mandatory cup of coffee. After she’d filled her mug and topped it with organic half-and-half, she allowed Maeve to play in the family room, in sight of the kitchen and back deck.
As routine as it all was, her life had taken on new purpose. She found joy in the mundane. Today Maeve had awakened as her usual cheerful self and hadn’t protested one bit as Winnie changed her. Krista’s muted, “Thanks, Mom,” from under the covers carried the simplicity of a child’s love for her mother. The cup of coffee was spectacular—even more so because she enjoyed it on her deck while Sam took care of his morning business in the yard below.
She could finally relax. The constant worry over when to tell Max about Maeve was gone.
Not the guilt, however, that weighed on her each time she looked at Max and saw the absolute delight and reverence he held for Maeve. She’d kept this from Maeve, not just Max. Krista, too, benefited from Max’s presence in ways Winnie hadn’t really considered.
“Stop it. You had every reason to protect him from unsettling news. He was at war.” She spoke to the empty deck. Maeve glanced up from her toys to see what her mother was whispering about.
But Max wasn’t at war anymore. He was here, back in her life in the biggest possible way. As Maeve’s father.
Since she was being completely honest with herself, she admitted that there was nothing she’d like more than to go to bed with Max. But it would make their relationship too intense, too involved, and that would affect the girls. It would risk setting them up for a fall. As much as her body needed sexual release there was no reason it had to be with Max. In fact, there was every reason it shouldn’t be with Max.
He was planning to fly. She couldn’t go back to censoring everything she said, everything she felt, just to protect him from any upset, just to ensure that he could keep his mind clear for his flights.
He was angry with her over Maeve, might always be. But she knew he still looked at her with the same desire they’d shared the one night they’d made love.
“Damn you, Max,” she whispered as she sipped her coffee and gazed out at the trees in her yard. Of all the careers he could’ve pursued after he retired from the Navy, he had to pick one as dangerous as flying small aircraft? Especially in the often-harsh weather conditions and challenging terrain of the Pacific Northwest?
What are you going to do then? Never speak to him? Never let the girls talk to him unless he’s not flying the next day?
“Hey, puppy.”
Sam looked up at her from where he sat, near the patch of tulips she’d planted last fall. They were close to full bloom.
“Okay, pooch, let’s go. Good boy,” she praised him as he loped across the lawn toward the deck steps. He took the five steps in one leap and slid across the deck to her feet.
“You’re a silly guy, aren’t you?”
Sam rolled on his back for a belly rub.
“Mom, phone!” Krista’s shout had her up and in the house in seconds. Maeve sat in the middle of her pile of soft blocks, still trying to stack them with no regard for size or shape.
“Who is it?”
“Uncle Max.” Krista smiled.
Crapola.
“Hello?”
“Good morning, Winnie. How’s it going?” The husky tone of his voice reached through the phone as if he’d physically touched her.
He wasn’t even in the same room.
“Great, everything’s great. I’m about to get the girls off to school, though. Will this take long? If so, I can call you back in about thirty minutes.”
“No, no, I just wanted to ask if you can join me for lunch on Saturday. But just you this time. Do you have someone who can mind the girls?”
“Ah.” Her voice caught and she cursed herself for being so vulnerable. She opened her mouth to turn him down.
Aren’t you tired of running?
“I’ll ask Robyn and let you know. Anything else?”
“No. Just make sure you’re dressed for a bit of a hike. I’ll pick you up at noon.”
“Um, fine. If you don’t hear from me otherwise.”
“And, Winnie?”
“Yes?”
“Chill out. It’s not a date.” He hung up.
She put the phone back. The flicker of anticipation that his call had sparked blew out as if blasted by gale-force winds.
“So Uncle Max is taking you out on a date?” The smirk on Krista’s face should have annoyed her. Instead, she hardly noticed.
“No, definitely not a date.” Winnie had to smile in spite of herself. It really was amusing, the way she got worked up over anything to do with Max. They could do this, be good friends while raising the girls together. No complications. Maybe this hike or whatever it was would provide the respite they needed to make a fresh start… .
“Just two friends meeting for lunch,” she added.
“Yeah, right. You made a baby together, Mom.”
“Krista, there is absolutely no excuse for you to be so rude to me. I’m your mother, and don’t forget it.”
Krista’s huge sigh echoed across the kitchen but Winnie ignored it.
“Yes, Uncle Max and I had Maeve together,” she went on. “So it’s up to us to raise her together, and you’re included in this since Max loves you, too. But sometimes we need to have adult conversations away from you kids, just like any other parents do, married or not.”
“Moooommmeee!” Maeve had come up the two short steps from the sunken family room and brought several of her cloth blocks with her. She dumped them on the floor by Winnie’s feet.
“Thank you, little girl.” She bent down and hugged Maeve, who hugged her back.
“Luff Momma.”
“Love you, too, sweetness.”
Winnie straightened up and caught Krista staring at them. “Did you understand what I said, Krista? Is everything clear?”
“Sure, Mom.”
If Winnie kept her relationship with Max equally clear and he did the same, they’d all be okay.
* * *
“THANKS, LAURA.” MAX took the large brown paper bag from the owner of his favorite island deli.
“No problem, Max. Are you sharing it with anyone I know?” Her query was innocent enough, but Max remembered a time when he might have had an interest in Laura. She was a former pilot who got out of the Navy and bought the deli a few years back. They had shared a lot in common. On paper, anyway.
She’s nothing like Winnie.
“No, just a friend.” It was his way of keeping his privacy and averting any island gossip about Winnie. Whidbey was a large enough place that Laura probably didn’t even know Winnie, but you could never be too sure.
“Enjoy it. I put in extra-large pieces of my apple pie.”
“Thanks! See you later.”
Once back in his truck, Max took out the picnic lunch he’d purchased and repacked everything in his backpack.
This was the first time he and Winnie were going to get together for a reason other than Maeve or his therapy with Sam. He wanted it to go well.
It had onl
y been a month since he’d found out he was a father, that he’d been told one unforeseen night of passion with Winnie had made a beautiful baby girl.
It felt like years.
The grief over missing Maeve’s birth and her first year came at him like a sucker punch as he drove down to Winnie’s place.
How ironic that he’d been there for Krista’s birth more than thirteen years ago, when Tom had been out doing touch-and-goes with an aircraft. Touch-and-goes were local Naval aviation events, taking a plane out and landing it for a few seconds before once again taking off. It exercised the aircraft’s function as well as the pilot’s acuity.
Tom had been radioed to come back from his last touch-and-go and he’d landed at N.A.S. Whidbey just as Krista arrived, two weeks earlier than expected.
Max had picked up Winnie from their house and driven her to the base hospital. He’d left her side to do what Winnie had asked him to—he got Tom there as quickly as possible. When he’d come back to the hospital with Tom, he’d expected to be happy for his best friend. He hadn’t expected to be in awe of the tiny infant, and how strong Winnie had been. He often thought of her as Tom’s nagging wife back then, but his hard stance had softened after Krista’s birth.
Tom’s expression had been one of sheer joy when he entered the room and saw Krista in Winnie’s arms.
That’s a memory you need to share with Krista.
He had a history not only with Winnie but with Krista. And now, Maeve. The connection between him and Winnie was fraught with pain, from Tom’s death to Winnie’s betrayal in not telling him about Maeve. Their unique shared history didn’t have a lot of bright spots to date, except for the girls.
And the night of the Air Show.
He pulled into Winnie’s driveway and reminded his libido that this wasn’t about rekindling anything they’d experienced that night. It was about forming a strong partnership in which to raise the girls.
Winnie opened her front door, wearing a teal fleece vest over a white turtleneck. Black tights hugged her legs. Her figure was fuller than it had been before Maeve, sexier. The urge to press her against the wall hit him as hard as his anger had just moments ago.
“Hi, Winnie.”
As strong as his sexual attraction was, what caught his attention more than anything was the light in Winnie’s eyes. She was no longer a young woman whose only concern was herself. No longer a Navy wife who resented every minute her husband spent at work and with his friends. No longer the grieving widow he’d stood next to when all he wanted to do was punch a wall in grief and frustration that his best friend was dead.