Finding Forgiveness: Poconos Pack, Book 1

by Dana Marie Bell

  “You said that.” Dave was glad to finally hear it, even if he wasn’t sure it was real.

  “I’ll keep saying it until you believe it.”

  “He beat you?” Charlie crossed her legs and propped her chin in her hands.

  Ben’s eyes remained on Dave’s. Dave could see the remorse written there clearly. “Yeah.”

  “Shit.” Charlie sighed and rolled onto her stomach. “Is he still alive?”

  “I think so. I’m not sure.”

  “How could that be? The Alpha, hell, the Marshall or Omega would have done something about it.” Dave knew Rick’s grandfather could be an ass when it came to dealing with outsiders but he’d never put his people at risk, even the teenage ones.

  “They didn’t. He was a master at hiding it, even from them. The times they knew I’d been hurt? He blamed it on accidents. The Omega thought I was a moody little boy and a moodier teenager. Remember, just because you feel what someone else does doesn’t mean you understand why.” The way Ben was looking at him, Dave understood the message he was trying to convey. Ben had been wrong, just as the old Marshall and Omega had been, and now they were both paying for it. “The last thing the Alpha wanted to do was rock the boat over a boy they all thought was going through a stage and hurting himself.”

  Dave flopped onto the bed next to Charlie. “That’s why you thought my migraines were hangovers.”

  Ben nodded curtly.

  “Shit.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Why didn’t you ask me about them?”

  Ben winced. “Honestly? I couldn’t allow myself to get that close.” He perched on the other bed, the one Dave had been planning on sleeping in. Charlie had wanted the bed by the sliding glass doors so she could see the fireworks over the castle. “My mother didn’t fight him. She loved him too much, and he beat on her too.” Ben shook his head. “I think the old Alpha just didn’t want to see what was right in front of his face. If he had, he would have been forced to Outcast my dad and deal with what came next. Odds are good Dad would have forced Mom and me to go with him.” He shook his head. “I’ve watched someone I was supposed to love destroy everyone around him because of alcohol.” Ben clasped his hands between his knees and gazed right into Dave’s face, hiding nothing. “I’m sorry, baby. I couldn’t let myself become my mother.”

  Ouch. That hurt, but he could almost understand where Ben was coming from. He’d had a twisted childhood, and that was going to do things to his perspective. Now all Dave had to do was decide if he forgave him or not.

  Dave narrowed his eyes. “You said you’d do anything if I would just forgive you.”

  Charlie chuckled. She knew what was coming. Hell, she’d helped him design the damned thing. “The shirt?”

  “Oh yeah.” And if Ben wore it, he’d get his wish. Dave would do his best to forgive Ben for being a prick. Hell, he was halfway there just from hearing about Ben’s childhood.

  Then again, if Ben put it on he’d know this was nothing more than a dream. Real Life Ben’s pride would never allow him to wear a shirt like that, let alone in public.

  Ben looked like he’d just stuck his arm in a dark hole and had no clue if he was about to grab a handful of honey or bees. “What shirt?”

  Dave handed him the bag containing the shirt and waited.

  Chapter Seven

  Dave was grinning like a loon as they entered The Brown Derby, but something seemed off. He still seemed…wistful, somehow, especially when his gaze landed on the shirt Ben wore. “You said anything.”

  Ben’s jaw was permanently clenched. He’d been stared at, pointed at, and laughed at everywhere they went. But fuck it if he was taking this shirt off. He’d said anything, and if abject humiliation was the only way to win Dave over then damn it, he’d do it.

  Unless it involved clown noses. Then all bets were off.

  “C’mon. It matches your eyes.”

  The fact that Dave’s hand was cupping his butt did not mitigate the fact that Dave was also laughing his own ass off.

  “Where the hell did you find this thing?” Ben gave their names to the maître d’ and studiously ignored the smile trying to break out all over the man’s face. He’d made the reservations from Dave’s room, glad to get a table on such short notice.

  Now he was wondering if they would have been better off with room service.

  “I had it made.” Dave caressed the brown cotton. Ben damn near shivered at the feel of his mate’s hand on him, stroking down his back. “You like it?”

  “I love it,” he gritted out. At this rate he’d not only get his mate but a huge dental bill as well.

  Dave huffed a laugh as they followed the maître d’. “Good. Then you’ll wear it at the next staff meeting.” Dave batted his lashes at him, daring him to go there.

  God. There was no way in hell Ben was wearing a dark chocolate brown T-shirt with the words Trophy Wife stenciled on it in bright yellow letters at the next Pack meeting. “Sure thing, honey.” In your dreams, maybe.

  Dave held out Ben’s chair, and Ben almost snapped his head off. “I’ll make sure it makes it home safe and sound, then.”

  Ben took his seat, the low growl dying to break free. He gritted his teeth and held it back through sheer willpower. A family of four was seated right next to them. Don’t scare the straights, Ben. “I think I can take care of that.”

  Dave’s brows rose like he knew exactly what Ben was thinking of doing with the shirt before it ever hit the Poconos. “Florida has really small pipes,” he muttered, confirming Ben’s thought. “I wouldn’t try flushing it down the toilet if I were you.”

  Ben sniffed. The scent of his mate surrounded him, soothing his wolf even as it made his cock sit up and take notice. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

  Dave picked up the menu, but not before Ben caught the big man’s shoulders shaking. Ben rolled his eyes and picked up his own menu.

  He was so flushing this shirt.

  After they ordered, Dave left the table to hit the men’s room. Ben sat back with a smile. So far, so good. Dave knew now why Ben had acted the way he had, rejecting him when he had no real reason to. Better yet, he was on the way to forgiving Ben.

  Things were looking up.

  Ben breathed in deep, happy to have his mate with him. The scent of Dave surrounded him, and his head whipped around, eager for the sight of the man walking towards him.

  No Dave. No sign of him anywhere.

  Ben sniffed again. Dave’s scent was strong, mingling subtly with his own. His eyes darted around the restaurant, a frown forming on his face. What the fuck?

  Then it hit him. The shirt. The damn fucking shirt Dave had given him. Ben lifted the hem and sniffed.

  Dave’s scent filled him, poured through him. If he’d been a cat he would have been purring. As it was he had the urge to rub that scent into his skin until it never came off.

  Ben dropped the hem of the shirt and tried to figure out why Dave’s scent was so strong on it. Had Dave worn it? It didn’t have the feel of a shirt that had been worn often enough to pick up the owner’s scent. If anything, the butter-soft cotton felt brand new. So how had it gotten there?

  Dave was winding his way back to him through the tables, a smile on his handsome face. Ben, for the first time in years, allowed himself the luxury of studying his mate. Those amber eyes were as huge as they’d been when he’d been a gangly teenager, dominating a stunning face that could have graced magazine covers. The light brown hair had never quite been tamed, the bangs falling into those gorgeous eyes, the ends brushing the collar of his T-shirt. And damn if he hadn’t grown into those hands. The guy was simply huge. The only man Ben had ever met who was bigger than Dave was Rick, and the Alpha was scary huge. The Luna was the only one who could look at Rick and think “cuddly”.

  Ben fingered the edge of his T-shirt and stared at Dave’s chest. There was no way Dave could wear Ben’s new shirt without stretching it or ripping it.

  The shirt fit Ben l
ike a glove.

  Dave sat. “Food here yet?” His eyes flickered to the shirt, a strange satisfaction in his gaze.

  “You slept with it, didn’t you?” Dave’s eyes flew to his. The self-conscious panic on his face told Ben he was dead right. “That’s why your scent is so strong.” Ben couldn’t stop stroking the hem of his shirt. Every time he did, Dave’s scent wafted up to his nose.

  “Oh, look, the drinks came.” Dave took a huge gulp of his soda and damn near choked.

  Ben couldn’t stop the smile that came, watching his mate try not to die on soda bubbles. Dave said he’d had the shirt made. He wondered how long ago he’d done it.

  How long had he held on to hope?

  Shit. Looks like I’ve got a new shirt to wear to the next Pack meeting.

  Ben picked up his own soda and took a swig. He couldn’t wait to get home and show off his new shirt. “So. What made you decide to come here for vacation?”

  Dave grinned. “I’ve wanted to come here ever since I was a kid, but I finally decided to do it when I heard Rick and Belle had to be here for Max and Emma’s wedding.” Max and Emma, the Alpha pair of the Halle Pumas, had gotten married last April, and Belle had been one of her bridesmaids. That had been a year ago, and the way reservations went so quickly at the Contemporary Dave must have been planning this trip for months.

  “Thinking of getting married here?” Ben grinned at Dave as the waitress set their dinners in front of them.

  “Sure.” Dave batted his lashes. “You’d look gorgeous in a wedding dress.”

  Ben’s eyes narrowed. “Oh please. You’d be the one in the dress, and you know it.”

  Dave snickered. “Like we don’t know who the alpha male of this relationship is gonna be.”

  “Yeah, fairy-light boy. That would be me.”

  Dave shook his head sadly. “Pretty, yet delusional.” Ben choked on his fish. “Sorry. You’d look much better in white tulle than I would.”

  “Don’t bet on it.”

  “I got you into that shirt, didn’t I?”

  Ben tried desperately not to laugh. “That was a one-shot deal, and you know it.”

  “Do I?”

  Ben didn’t respond to that. If wearing this stupid shirt brought this kind of happiness to Dave’s face then he’d wear the fucking thing every day. “There’s no way in hell you’re getting me in a wedding dress.”

  “Wanna bet?”

  “That’s the second time you’ve said that.” Dave waved his fork at him. “Sure. I’ll bet on it.”

  Ben grinned. “You’re on.”

  Ben shook his head. “You’re kidding me, right?”

  Dave picked up the paddle and waved it at him. Damn, this was the best dream ever. He knew it was still a dream because Ben was actually wearing the shirt. Real Life Ben would have torn it to shreds. Hell, Real Life Ben would still be in the Poconos, pushing papers and doing who knew what. Dream Ben was playing with him, smiling and having fun. Usually Dream Ben begged forgiveness for all of two seconds before they had hot sex. He couldn’t decide which dream he liked more, but he hoped they wound up at the same place: mind-blowing orgasms. “What’s the matter? Afraid of a little smack-down?”

  “As if. I just can’t believe we’re using air hockey to figure out which one of us gets to wear a dress.” They’d returned to the Contemporary after dinner and headed straight for the hotel’s game room. Or rather, Ben had followed Dave to the game room, seemingly ready for whatever Dave had in mind.

  A short burst of laughter from a woman by a pinball machine had Ben’s cheeks turning red. “I am out of here.”

  Oh, that was way too much like Real Life Ben. Dave had to fix that fast. “Do you smell something?”

  Ben paused. “What?”

  “It smells like…” Dave sniffed.

  “Like what?”

  “Chicken.”

  Ben’s eyes narrowed. “Did you just call me chicken?”

  “If the cluck fits.”

  Ben glared and picked up the paddle. “You’re on, pansy-boy. Get ready to wear tulle.”

  A brief but intense time later Dave stared at the score in disbelief. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. “I lost.”

  “Yes, you did.” Ben’s arm draped around his shoulder and squeezed him close. “When you go shopping for your dress, make sure you pick one that shows off a lot of cleavage.”

  The woman by the pinball machine laughed again.

  “I’m not supposed to lose.”

  Ben straightened up, the paddle dropping to the table with a clatter of plastic on plastic. “Dave?”

  Dave gulped. Oh. Shit. His heart was pounding. The shot of fear and hope jolted his system, making him feel like he was going to throw up. “This isn’t a dream.”

  Ben’s smile froze. “No. It’s not a dream.”

  Dave felt like he might start hyperventilating. “You’re really here.”

  Ben tugged Dave out of the arcade. “Breathe, baby.”

  Baby? “You’re in the Poconos doing boring money shit. Not in my hotel’s game room acting like a mate.”

  Ben winced. “No, baby. I’m here. Everything today has been real.”

  Dave stared at the shirt straining across Ben’s shoulders. He’d been right. It fit the man like a glove. He rubbed his eyes, but the little dancing lights only intensified. “I need to get to my room.”

  Ben’s hand rubbed down his back, attempting to soothe him. “Headache?”

  “Not yet, but I’m getting an aura.”

  Ben began hustling for the elevators like he knew what the hell that meant. Maybe he did; Dave didn’t have it in him to ask. Luckily they’d come back to the Contemporary for their impromptu air hockey game, so they weren’t far from Dave’s room. He needed his medicine, fast, or the rest of this vacation was going to go to hell.

  “I’m here, Dave. What do you need?”

  This was not happening. It couldn’t be. “Um. I need my medicine.” The elevator arrived and Dave stepped in, smiling wanly at the people already on board. The lights felt brighter than they had earlier. A slight headache began behind his eyes.

  Shit. Not now. Please, not now.

  Ben stayed close, rubbing his back, until the elevator arrived at Dave’s floor. “Let’s get your stuff, baby.”

  Dave got out his keycard and slid it into the lock.

  “Davey!”

  Ben caught Charlie before she could land on him. For that alone he forgave Ben a lot. “He’s beginning to migraine.” Ben’s voice was soft and even, but Dave could hear the concern.

  Charlie fell back. “Oh. What does he need?”

  Dave pointed to the small black bag he had next to the television. “Imitrex.”

  Ben pulled out the white box of medicine and read the instructions. “Here. Take your meds. We’re going to pack you up and take you to my room.”

  “Why would you do that?” Charlie folded her arms and stood in front of the door, blocking their exit.

  “Because if the medicine doesn’t stop the migraine I have a bedroom he can collapse in that’s separate from the living room. I can make it nice and dark for him.”

  Dave left them to their pissing contest and headed into the bathroom. He winced at the light coming off the mirror, the headache intensifying. “Shit.” He filled one of the glasses with water and downed the pill, making sure to drink all the water. He then filled the glass again and downed that. “Done.”

  Ben stuck his head in the bathroom and nodded. “Gather your stuff.” He shook his head. “Better yet, go lay on the bed and point. I’ll gather your stuff. Charlie can help me.”

  “Mm-hmm.” Dave got around him and lay on the bed, one hand over his eyes. This was the first time he’d gotten one of his headaches since he’d been in the hospital. He prayed the new medicine Dr. Howard had prescribed worked. The last thing he wanted was a full-blown migraine right now.

  “All set. Let’s go, baby.”

  Dave lifted his arm. “Why ar
e you being nice to me?”

  Ben sighed. “C’mon. Let’s get you settled in for the night. I’ll order room service for breakfast, and if you still think you need me to explain it, I’ll do it then. Okay?”

  Dave nodded carefully. His head was beginning to swim, but the headache seemed to be easing off. “Sure.”

  “Take care, Davey.”

  He accepted Charlie’s careful hug. “You too. You still coming to the Lodge in December?”

  “Yup.” She kissed his cheek. “You take care of him. And just so you know, we have reservations for dinner in Italy Tuesday night.”

  Ben nodded. “Maybe I’ll talk him into making it reservations for three.”

  “Hmph. We’ll see.” Charlie held the door open. “Ben?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Don’t claim him until you’re sure the headache’s gone. You might make things worse.”

  Dave’s jaw fell open. “Wait. You approve this?”

  Ben’s eyes rolled, and he picked up both of Dave’s suitcases. “No, you’re still not dreaming.”

  Charlie hid her laugh behind her hand. She was probably trying not to make noise. “Have fun, you crazy kids.” The sound of the door shutting behind him was final.

  He really wasn’t dreaming.

  “Let’s go, baby. It’s a bit of a walk once we get off the elevator. Think you’re up to it?”

  “I have to be, don’t I?” Dave shook his head. The dizziness was getting worse. It felt like he’d had one too many glasses of wine, and the light was still stabbing into his eyes. “We need to get me in the dark.”

  Ben frowned and carried Dave’s luggage to the elevators. “Let’s go.”

  It didn’t take long to get to the Bay Lake Tower bridge. The view from the bridge that connected the Contemporary to the Towers was incredible. Too bad he couldn’t enjoy it.

  “We can come out here and watch the fireworks if you like.”

  Dave didn’t respond. He was too busy trying to stay on his feet.

  By the time they got to Ben’s room Dave felt like he was floating. He propped himself against the wall and waited for Ben to open the door.