Stargazing (The Walker Family Book 2)

by Bernadette Marie

  “Wait. You just told me you loved me. Were you making that up?”

  Bethany felt deflated. “No. I wasn’t making that up.”

  “Good. Because I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you too. Not pretty sure, I mean I know I’m in love with you. My sister told me I’m in love with you and…” He stopped. “I ramble when I’m nervous,” he admitted.

  “I’d never say something like that to someone if I didn’t mean it. I’ve never said it to anyone before.”

  “That’s quite a compliment. Okay, then, if I’m that important, then tell me, what is all this about?”

  Bethany clenched her jaw and looked at her sister. Pearl’s stance softened and in that moment they exchanged feelings which corresponded to words that only sisters could understand.

  Pearl gave her a nod and looked at Kent.

  “My little sister is very courageous. She’s dealing with a lot of crap and she was kind enough to confide in me.”

  “What crap? What’s going on?” Kent pleaded with both of them.

  Bethany reached for his hand as Pearl took a breath to speak. “Her mother died of a prescription drug overdose.”

  “I know.”

  “Bethany is a little too familiar with those prescription meds too. As well as having an eating disorder,” her sister said as Bethany gripped tightly to Kent’s hand and looked at the ground.

  “Is that true?” he asked and she lifted her head slightly and nodded. “Okay, then.” He let out a breath, but he didn’t let go of her hand. “That’s a lot to deal with. We need to get you some help.”

  “She’s seeing a counselor,” Pearl offered. “After she was attacked with Eric, everyone thought it was best.”

  “Good. It’s good to get help when you need it.” He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. “Why don’t I give you a ride home? We can talk about this and you can let me in on it.”

  Bethany raised her head fully and stared at him. His eyes were warm and kind. This didn’t seem to ruffle him at all. “You’re not mad?”

  “Mad? Why would I be mad?”

  Bethany shrugged.

  Kent cupped her face in his hands. “I happened to fall in love with a woman who’s seen a lot. I think we’re a good team though and I think if we stick together we can beat this.”

  “You want to stay?”

  “Honey, I don’t have any intentions of going anywhere. I told you that. Yes, I want to stay. And as hard as it might be, I want to know everything about you.”

  “It’s not pretty. I’m not a…”

  “You’re perfect,” he interrupted. “The past is there for a reason, because it’s past. We’re moving into the future.” He took her hand. “C’mon, I’ll take you home.”

  Bethany nodded and smiled. She turned to hug her sister. “Thank you. I’m sorry I interrupted your day.”

  “Never—ever be sorry.” She kissed her on the cheek. Then Pearl pulled Kent in close and hugged him. Bethany could hear her whisper in his ear. “Thank you. She means a lot to me.”

  That ache that had been piercing in her chest softened. Family—no matter what they were there for one another.

  Chapter Twenty

  Bethany was quiet on the ride home and Kent was okay with that. He needed a few minutes to wrap his head around what he’d just learned.

  It made a lot of sense, though. She was hot and cold with her emotions. He’d seen her get sick after she ate though he’d never have imagined that was the problem.

  Then his sister’s words hit him right in the chest. She had warned him of everything he was now facing. Drugs. Eating disorders. A past he knew nothing about.

  His hands grew damp against the steering wheel. He didn’t really want to believe any of it. He wanted her to be normal—perfectly normal.

  Well, hell, that wasn’t fair either, he decided as he turned down her street. Who the hell was normal anymore? He lived out of hotel rooms and wrote about non-existent aliens in galaxies that didn’t exist. Who was he to judge someone’s reality? Maybe she found his shortcomings unattractive, which he didn’t think she was. But his job was to help her. There was no reason to think it was a desperate problem—no, that was wrong. He needed to treat it as though it were desperate and nip it in the bud. She needed to be free of her demons and able to move forward in her life. She deserved that.

  Kent pulled up in front of the house and turned off the van. “Looks empty.”

  “They’re out at the house, I think. My dad says it’s almost done.”

  Kent nodded and opened the door. “I’d like to see it.”

  “Really?” she asked as she climbed out of the van.

  He stepped around the van and walked toward her. “Yeah. I’ve been in Georgia a few weeks and haven’t seen anything but the city, really.”

  “Maybe later we can drive out there. You can see Eric’s parents’ home, what they’re rebuilding, and his barn where he works.”

  “I think that would be very nice,” he said, slipping his arm around her.

  The small conversation had put her at ease. His interest in her family had sparked a little light in her eyes. They could do this. They could make this all right, he thought.

  Bethany opened the door to the house. Scents of something Susan had baked that morning still permeated the air.

  “I could get used to a house smelling like this,” Kent said.

  “It’s new to me. My mother never—ever—baked anything. I’m lucky I know how to heat soup in a cup.”

  “I have a pretty good background in cooking. My mom thought I should know. I separate my laundry too. Who wants pink tighty-whities?”

  She chuckled. “Maybe I’ll learn someday to be domestically apt.”

  Kent shrugged and pulled her near. “Not a skill I’m totally sold on in a woman.”

  “Really? What man says that?”

  “This one,” he said tipping her chin up with his finger and pressing his lips to hers.

  She let herself sink into him. After her meltdown at her sister’s shop, she hadn’t really expected him to be so calm and understanding.

  He eased back and kept her close. “So, we have a lot of talking to do and you have some packing to do.”

  “Packing?”

  “We leave tomorrow night and head for South Carolina.”

  “You still want to take me?”

  “There has never been any doubt. But, in fairness to us both, you need to tell me everything—and I mean everything about you. You can’t leave one ugly stone unturned.”

  She stepped back from him. “I don’t like that idea at all.”

  “I’m not asking to shame you. I’m asking so I know where you’re headed and what I can do to make sure you’re headed there with me.”

  “You think like that?”

  “I do.” He stepped to her, taking her hands. “It appeared to me, that you reaching out to your sister said you wanted help banishing the demons in your past.”

  She couldn’t find words to answer. All she could do was nod.

  “That’s what I thought. Let’s get you healthy, Bethany. You’re not your mother. You’re a fine example of a bright and beautiful woman who has a lifetime ahead of her. I plan to be there for it, so let’s make you healthy.”

  Bethany’s breath became heavy and hard to push through her lungs. “You won’t change your mind about me?”

  Kent cupped her face in his hands. “I promise. Nothing can change my mind if you promise to tell me everything.”

  She gave it a moment’s thought and agreed.

  “Good. Where should we go to talk?”

  “My room.”

  His brows drew together and he narrowed his gaze on her. “That sounds like you’re avoiding us talking.”

  She laughed and shook her head. “When you see it, you’ll understand.”

  She took his hand and led him up the stairs to her very own sanctuary.

  She’d been right. Kent stood in the doorway and was in awe of
the space. “You have a patio, and a king size bed in here.”

  “And my own bathroom with a Jacuzzi tub.”

  “So Susan’s room is twice this size?”

  Bethany shook her head. “Not even close.”

  “Why are you so lucky?”

  She shrugged. “She said that it was easier to rent.”

  “Sure…sure. I get that, but damn!”

  That made her laugh and she turned and pulled him into the room by gripping the front of his shirt. A moment later her mouth was on his and that sense that he could lose control with her, again, began to take over. But they had business. Unfortunately, he was going to have to be the bad guy.

  He pulled back and let out a breath. “So where do you want to talk?”

  Bethany let out a grunt. “I don’t want to talk.”

  He gave her that eye he’d seen his own sister give her children. It must not have worked, because it only made her laugh.

  “Fine. Let’s go out on the patio. It’ll give you a platform to jump from after I tell you everything.”

  “I’m walking out the front door—with you,” he said to ensure her that he wasn’t going to walk out.

  “You’re a very good man.”

  “I’m decent enough. And I meant it, I love you, no matter how crazy fast it’s come about. I’m not going anywhere, Bethany.”

  For a moment she only watched him. He supposed it was to make sure he wasn’t going to run—which he had no intention of doing.

  She took his hand and led him out to the quaint little patio that overlooked the small back yard.

  “This is nice.”

  “I do my yoga out here. It regenerates me,” she said sitting down in the lounge and kicking her feet up on it.

  It was the only place to sit, so Kent sat down next to her, turned so he could face her.

  “Why do you do yoga?” he asked.

  “My mind shuts off, for the most part. It just makes me feel good.”

  “I like that. Maybe you can show me someday. I can’t even touch my toes.”

  “Liar.”

  “No, really. Loafers are the best shoes. I look good and I don’t have to bend over and tie them.”

  She laughed again and concluded it with a sigh. Then her eyes met his and locked. “I do it because it’s the only thing I can actually control. For a few minutes I can be one with the universe and I don’t have to think about anything else.”

  “Why do you run so much?”

  She chuckled slightly and looked away. “It keeps me thin.”

  “You look amazing.”

  Bethany shook her head. “The last director I worked with told me I was a cow. He even mooed at me.”

  He could feel the heat climb up in neck. “Are you kidding me? You have the most voluptuous body of any woman I’ve ever seen. Not to mention your eyes are mesmerizing and that hair…” He ran his fingers over it, giving her ponytail a tug. “Your beauty is hypnotic.”

  “You love me. It’s different.”

  “It shouldn’t be.”

  She kept her eyes locked on his. He didn’t blink—he didn’t look away. “Anyway. I run to stay in shape. I do yoga to clear my mind and to also stay in shape.”

  “To an excess.”

  She finally looked away. “I suppose I do.”

  Kent took her hands in his. “Let’s talk about your eating disorder.”

  She groaned. “Another habit to keep cow comments at bay. It was also taught to me by my mother.”

  “Why does a mother teach her daughter something like that?”

  She laughed aloud. “Oh, Lord, you’d be surprised what kids I knew were taught by their parents. You do realize where I was raised, right?”

  “I just don’t understand it. I was raised in a Christian home. We went to church. We played in the yard. Kissed girls behind trees on the playground. I was on a soccer team. I tried my hand at drama in school and I sang in the choir. I don’t understand that this wasn’t the norm.”

  Her face grew sad and as she blinked he was sure he saw the first of what would be many tears disappear.

  “When I was six, I came to Georgia to meet my father. I remember Pearl was twelve. She’d just started wearing makeup and I thought she was everything. Audrey was fifteen and not very fond of me. I don’t blame her, but she wasn’t. But I remember they had a rope swing in the backyard. One of those with a knot in it holding a piece of wood. Pearl swung me on that swing. When they say go to your happy place, that’s where I go. Back to that swing at my dad’s house with my sister.”

  She swallowed and now wiped her cheek as another tear escaped before she continued.

  “See, when I went back home with my mom, I went back to a one-bedroom apartment. I slept on the couch. Mom would leave me home at night and I’d sit in the bathroom, in the bathtub, with the door locked.”

  “Your mother left you alone at six?”

  Bethany nodded. “She had things to do.”

  “Honey, that’s not okay.”

  She nodded. “It was my norm. When I started school I got up and went. I came home alone. Sometimes she’d come home. Sometimes she wouldn’t.”

  Kent felt his throat closing off the air in his lungs. No one deserved this kind of childhood.

  Bethany reached to the back of her head and pulled the band from her hair. She looped it around her fingers and stretched it. “I watched her take a pill for this and a pill for that over the years. I never thought anything of it. I had a hundred uncles.”

  That part made Kent force down the vile taste of vomit he could feel pushing up.

  She looped the band over her wrist and ran her fingers through her long, red curls. “She’d bring home a new guy every few months. They were wannabe producers and directors. They were all going to make her a big star. That didn’t happen.”

  “I thought your mom had been in a lot of movies.”

  “Fourteen and a half.”

  “A half?”

  “They fired her half way through one and recast her. She was too stoned, too drunk, or too MIA.”

  He nodded. “But you followed in her footsteps?”

  “It was all I knew.” She reached for his hands and interlaced their fingers. “When I was fifteen there was a director who wanted me in his film. Pretty exciting for a girl that no one had ever paid attention to.”

  “Lucky break?”

  “Sure. Once I let him have my virginity and see what there was for me to offer him, I got the part.”

  Her fingers had tightened around his and he realized that she was holding on for dear life.

  “Bethany…”

  “Don’t feel sorry for me, okay?”

  “I can’t help it.”

  “This only gets worse and if you want to know my life up to this point, then you have a lot of listening to do.”

  Kent nodded and sucked in a breath. He didn’t want to hear another word, but he knew that didn’t take away what had happened to her. So he braced himself.

  He sat there on the lounge while she squeezed his fingers until they were nearly numb. For the next hour, she told him about the men she’d been with, all offering her opportunities for a night. There were drugs in high school. Alcohol suspensions in junior high school. For a short time, she had her say in Hollywood among the B-film community. She was wanted.

  Food was a curse since she was fifteen and she binged and purged almost all the time. Though she felt she had that under control, or so she said.

  Alcohol didn’t seem to be a problem. That was something he was happy to hear, but the pills, she admitted, that had been something new since her mother had passed.

  “I couldn’t deal with it all. So I took all her pills and I started to look them up online. When things got too stressed I’d pick out the right pill. Then when Douglas attacked us…”

  “You turned to them more.”

  “Do you blame me?”

  “Not in the least.” Now he pulled her close and held her next to his rapi
dly beating heart. “It’s never going to be like that again,” he promised.

  “You’re right. I’m never going back.”

  “That doesn’t matter. If you want to be rid of all this, then it should be. I’m here to see you through it. I’ll get you help. I’ll help you. Whatever you want, I’m here and I know your family is too. Pearl loves you and she wants what’s best for you. I’ve seen Eric around you and I’m sure he’s on my side too. He’s on your side.”

  “That’s why I stayed in Georgia. I didn’t want to be someone who was found dead weeks later because no one missed them.”

  “It’ll never happen that way.”

  “Promise?”

  “With my life.”

  Bethany let go of his hand for the first time in nearly an hour. She stood from the lounge and reached for him.

  “Follow me.”

  She led him to the bedroom. He figured she was going to want to seal the deal and he had to admit, after a roller coaster of emotions, he’d much rather take a roll in the sheets.

  But she kept walking. She took him into the bathroom and stopped next to the sink.

  “What are we doing?” he asked.

  She pointed to the trash can and Kent gasped. “What are those?”

  “Those are my mother’s pills. The ones I’ve been using. The ones that killed her. I threw them away the other day after Susan fired me. See, I had all intention of making them go away.”

  He nodded and looked at the trash can that was nearly overflowing. “This is all of them?”

  She opened the cabinet behind the mirror. “Yes. See, I took them all out.”

  Knowing she needed his help to make them disappear, he picked up the trash can and held it in his arms.

  “Are you okay for an hour?”

  “Why?”

  “I want you to start packing for our trip. I’m going to take these and dispose of them. Far away from here, okay?”

  She nodded. “We could just flush…”

  “Nope. I’m going to make them disappear and you’re going to let me.”

  “O-kay.” She let out a short breath. “You’re not leaving forever though, right? You’re coming back.”

  “Of course I am.”

  “I told you a lot of horrible things.”

  He bent and kissed her forehead. “You did. You know what? It doesn’t change anything. And guess what, you’re only twenty-four years old. That leaves a long, long life ahead of you. All of this is going to be like a bad movie you watched and you’ll never watch again. I promise you that.”