Wrong Side Girl (The Girl Series Book 1)

by Goda, Julia

  No bra.

  My hands had a mind of their own when they gripped her hips and squeezed. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath through my nose, trying to tamp down my instant arousal.

  Jesus! I had never been this turned on by a dress. Or anything for that matter.

  She was going to be my undoing.

  Breathing in and out slowly, I rested my forehead on her shoulder.

  “Cole?” Lizzy’s soft and amused voice called me. I lifted my head to see that hers was turned and she was looking at me over her shoulder. Her eyes were beautiful and sparkling, the green surrounded by thick lashes.

  “Don’t let me come in tonight,” I all but growled at her.

  “What?” she asked, confused now.

  “Don’t let me come in, no matter how much I beg. I promised myself I wouldn’t touch you tonight and I need you to help me out with that.”

  “You won’t touch me tonight?” Disappointment. This was gonna be harder than I had imagined. I deserved a medal for this.

  I shook my head at her.

  “Oh.” Her voice was small now and she turned her head away from me to finish locking up. Something other than disappointment was laced through her voice. Was it rejection? With my hands still at her hips, I turned her body to face mine and looked into her eyes, searching. Yes, she thought I was rejecting her. Crazy woman.

  “Honey, I’m not rejecting you.” I gave her a small peck on the lips in reassurance then kept my lips touching hers. “Believe me, I want you more than I have ever wanted anyone. My body is screaming at me to take you.” To emphasize this I pressed the proof of my body’s reaction to her into her belly. “But I need to prove to you that this isn’t just about sex. It’s so much more than that. It’s everything.” I kissed her again, short and quick, so as not to lose control. “When I take you for the first time, I want you to have no doubts about us.” Another kiss, this one longer and deeper.

  “Okay,” she breathed when I released her mouth. It was cute. She was in kind of a daze and it looked good on her. I reveled in the fact that I had been the one to put my little no-nonsense-spitfire into this state with just a few kisses and some frontal body contact. My chuckle seemed to snap her out of her daze and she took a small step back.

  “You’re right. You know I trust you, but it’s probably a good idea to take things slow, give either of us a chance to back out if things aren’t going the way we expected before we ruin something that’s important to us.”

  What the hell! There would be no backing out!

  I closed the short distance she had gained and framed her face with my hands, so that all she could see were my eyes.

  “I’m not backing out. Neither are you. I won’t let you. All I’m doing is giving you time to get used to us before I take what has always been mine. Get this, Liz, if you run from me, I will follow you and drag you right back where you belong, and we will work out whatever it is that made you run.” My voice was rough and growly. The thought of her backing out, of leaving me, had me shaking.

  Lizzy’s eyes had gone big at my statement, and I could see she was gearing up to give me the what for. My little spitfire.

  “Excuse me? You won’t let me? You’ll drag me back? What? You’re a goddamn caveman now?” Yeah, from soft and breathy to hot and spitting fire in under five seconds. That’s my Liz. I grinned at her.

  “You heard me.”

  She narrowed her eyes to slits and opened her mouth to blast me, but I stopped her by putting my mouth to hers and sliding my tongue inside that hot mouth. God, she tasted good. I wondered if the rest of her tasted just as great as her mouth, knowing and fearing that she would probably taste better than anything that had ever touched my tongue. I couldn’t get enough and delved in deeper, tangling and twisting and exploring. This was all the exploring I would get tonight, so I made it last.

  When I tore my mouth from hers, we were both breathing hard.

  Jesus! But she could kiss!

  She was again in that daze and was staring at my mouth, her lips still parted, her breath ragged. Damn, that was a good look on her. I drew on my last reserves of control and kissed her nose, then pulled back and took her hand.

  “As much as I would love to make out in your breezeway all night, I’m starving. I need food, woman, and we need to talk. Let’s go.”

  I couldn’t blame anyone but myself. I had asked for this. Had told her to dress sexy, that I wanted to show her off. And holy hell, did she follow that instruction to a t. She was killing me and she knew it. Sexy little devil was smirking at me from across the table right now. My answer was a low growl, which made her press her lips together and look down at her plate so as not to burst out laughing, I suspected. Fucking hell. I didn’t deserve a medal, I deserved a fucking trophy.

  “I should have taken you to Chuck E Cheese. At least there, nobody would be ogling you all night long. Though, scratch that. All those horny dads would just get fodder for their spank bank,” I growled across the table at her, my eyes narrowed on her smile.

  “You’re being ridiculous, Cole. Nobody is ogling me.”

  “Oh, believe me, baby, they are. Every man in this restaurant knows that you’re not wearing a bra and is glad that their boner is hidden under the table.”

  Her shoulders were shaking in silent laughter while she was shaking her head. There was nothing even remotely funny about this situation. I growled at her again, which made her silent laughter not so silent anymore as she burst out laughing. Fuck! Now every man’s head within a five-table radius was turned her way and I was starting to see red. If she didn’t tune it down, I was going to end up in jail tonight.

  “Liz,” I called her name.

  “Yeah?”

  “Honey, if you don’t want me to face assault charges in the very near future, do me a favor and at least try to be less sexy. That means no sexy smiles, no laughing, and we gotta do something about that fucking dress. What the hell were you thinking not bringing a coat?” I saw her eyes narrow through my little speech.

  “Cole, stop. It’s been entertaining, but now you’re starting to piss me off. It’s a dress. Get over it.”

  “And no attitude, either.”

  “What about breathing? Am I allowed to do that?” That was it. She didn’t want to make this easier for me? All right. She wasn’t giving me any other choice then but to stake my claim openly and publicly. I got out of my chair, pulled her out of hers, and laid a long, deep, wet one on her. One of my hands was tangled in her hair while the other was pulling her in close at the small of her back. She didn’t resist and kissed me back, spurring me on even more. It took someone clearing their throat close to us to make me break the kiss. Yeah, that should do it. It was me who gave her the dazed and turned-on look she was now sporting. None of these assholes were allowed to touch her. Only me. That thought eased my raging jealousy as I helped her back into her chair before I sat down again. The waiter served our food and I started eating.

  “What was that?” Lizzy asked me, still out of breath from our kiss, but she also sounded a little annoyed.

  “That, baby, was me staking my claim.”

  “So you just pissed on me in the middle of a fancy restaurant?”

  Yeah. She was definitely annoyed. “Yeah.” I answered nonchalantly and motioned for her to start eating her food. Her glare made me give her a grin, which made her growl. That was so cute that now my shoulders were shaking with silent laughter.

  “Liz, cut me some slack. I’ve always been possessive of you, but now that you’re mine, it’s even worse. I don’t like it when men stare at you like that, because I know exactly what they’re thinking.”

  “No, Cole. You’ve always been overprotective, but—”

  “Not protective, Liz, possessive. There’s a difference,” I interrupted her.

  Her head tilted to the side and her eyebrows went up, asking me for an explanation.

  “Like I told you this morning, I have always considered you mine, but wouldn�
�t let myself touch you. You have no idea how many fights I got into in high school because of you. With jackasses who wanted to get in there or who talked shit about having had you. Thank God I never actually had to see you make out with some guy or I would have killed him. Nobody touches what’s mine.”

  “So what you’re saying is that all this time you wanted me, didn’t do anything about it, but wouldn’t let anyone else have me either, while I had to watch you make out with all those girls, knowing you fucked everything that moved?”

  Yeah, I was an asshole and a hypocrite. She was right to be angry.

  I leaned over the table and took her hand in mine, stroking the back of her hand softly with my thumb.

  “I’m sorry, Liz. I know it wasn’t fair to you, but I never looked at it from your perspective. All I could see was my jealousy. I also didn’t know that you were into me like that. I thought for a while you had a crush on me, but you were young and pure and I was a total bastard. I never thought you could really want me.”

  “You’re an idiot, Cole. Do you have any idea how many times you broke my heart? How many times I had to watch you touch other girls when all I wanted was you to touch me like that? How many times, when you were screwing around and giving every other woman a piece of you, I felt like I wasn’t pretty enough for you? When all those girls in high school talked about how good you were in the sack? When I thought I would never be anything but a little sister you had to protect? You could have saved both of us a lot of pain, Cole.”

  Jesus, she didn’t beat around the bush. I normally loved that about her, but the torture she just revealed that I had put her through made my heart ache and regret spread through my body so hot that it was hard to breathe. She wasn’t looking at me, but instead was staring down at her plate, the hand I wasn’t holding clenched in a fist under the table. I could tell her fingers were clenched even though I couldn’t see them. I wasn’t sure if she was mad I had wasted years for both of us, or if she was trying not to cry. I needed to see her eyes.

  “Look at me, Liz.” I urged her. It took her a few seconds before she complied, but when she finally gave me her eyes, I could see that they were as torn as her body language had suggested. There was pain and sadness, but also accusation and remorse beside a whole lot of anger.

  I squeezed the hand I was still holding and leaned further over the table.

  “You’re right. I have wasted a lot of time and caused you a lot of hurt, disappointment, and embarrassment. I take full responsibility, but I swear I will do anything I can to make it up to you, if it takes the rest of my life. I know it’s hard to believe that I could go from hooking up with random girls to being in a committed relationship, and I would agree with you. But this is you and me. You know me better than anyone else and I know you. I screwed up, baby, but I’m fixing it now. You trust me. You know I don’t make promises I can’t keep. I wouldn’t pursue this if I weren’t serious about us. I can’t ever lose you. Give me a chance and I will make you happy.” I was begging at the end. I needed her to believe in me, in us, to give me a chance to build on what we’d always had between us.

  Chapter 7

  Lizzy

  I wanted him to mean what he said so badly. For as long as I could remember, this was what I had hoped for. Even when I had given up on that dream, somewhere deep inside me there was still that little part of me that wouldn’t give up, wouldn’t lose hope. Until last night, when I had thought he was screwing someone in the bathroom and losing his shit on me.

  I had given up then.

  Not even twelve hours later, he had again turned my world upside down, had turned it on its axis when he said he loved me and had kissed me like it was his first and last kiss merged into one. It was overwhelming. Getting what you always wanted was not as easy to deal with as you might believe. It was downright terrifying.

  But what was the alternative? Saying no to him right now, letting him go and watching him hook up with random women over and over again? And what about me? Would I settle for some guy who would never be Cole? No. That was something I knew I wouldn’t survive. It had gotten harder and harder over the years and now that I knew what his kisses felt like, what his arms around me felt like, and how he reacted to me, I couldn’t go back.

  I wanted what he promised.

  I wanted us.

  His eyes were glued to mine, imploring, slightly panicky as I was thinking through what he had said. I returned his squeeze and nodded at him. He closed his eyes and exhaled in relief, then brought my hand to his mouth and pressed a light kiss on my knuckles. That was sweet.

  “Thank you, Liz,” he whispered there, “I promise you won’t regret it.” I believed him. But we still needed to clarify what being in a committed relationship meant.

  “Cole,” I called him quietly. He opened his eyes to look at me. “Your words are beautiful. And I believe you mean every single thing you said. I do. What concerns me is that you are used to women throwing themselves at you. I wasn’t allowed to act on my jealousy before, but if you’re mine, you need to know that I will not stand back and let them touch you. I get just as jealous as you do, but it’s worse. I had to watch you with other girls, whereas you have never really seen me with another guy. I don’t have to imagine. I have the visual, probably in more detail than you think I do. So I think it will be harder for me to keep my shit together when those skanks go after you. What I need you to do is make it clear to them that you are off-limits. Don’t get me wrong, I can fight my own battles when it’s necessary, but I won’t tolerate you giving them mixed signals or the wrong idea. You need to make it very clear that you are not interested and won’t ever go there again. And you need to tone down your jealousy of other men. Going out with you is not gonna be fun if you’re this growly beast who does nothing but stare down other men and piss all over me.”

  His face was serious while he listened to me. When he answered, he squeezed my hand in his again.

  “I can promise you I will make it clear to everyone I’m off the market,” he said without hesitation, “and I’ll try to control my jealousy, but I can’t make any promises there. You’re right. I never had to watch you with another man and I’m very grateful for that, but I’ve got a vivid imagination when it comes to you.” His serious face turned into a teasing one when he continued, “Maybe once I’ve claimed you completely and made love to you, that will help, but I doubt it.”

  I shivered at the thought of him making love to me. I didn’t like the idea of waiting, though I did understand why he thought it was necessary. His smile was almost predatory now and it made my womb flutter in anticipation. That was also something that concerned me, though, and I had to be honest with him about it.

  I took a sip of my water with my free hand and realized that it was shaking. This was embarrassing.

  “Baby?” Cole asked. He must have noticed my nervousness.

  “Uhm…” I didn’t know how to say this. Just rip it off like a bandaid.

  “I’m not good at the sex thing,” I blurted a little too loud, the words tripping over each other. Cole startled and looked at me in shock.

  “You’re not good at the sex thing?” he asked like that was a foreign concept to him, which it probably was. All I could do was nod.

  “Liz, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I need a little more than that,” he prompted. I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to go into detail. This was embarrassing enough.

  “You know. Sex.” That was all I said.

  “Yeah, beautiful, I know what sex is,” he was trying to suppress a smile.

  This wasn’t funny.

  “Sex, Cole. I’m not good at it.” I was being clear. What was there not to understand?

  “That’s hard to believe.” He thought I was joking? Guess I had to spell it out for him.

  “Okay, I’ll be clearer. I’ve had orgasms during sex, but it always took a lot of work, and in my experience, men get impatient with that. It has been indicated to me that I can be cold and sti
ff, that I’m not active enough, nor can I let myself go enough to enjoy sex and make my partners enjoy it. There, is that enough detail for you?” I was annoyed and pissed that he had made me say it.

  “Hold on a second.” I was so absorbed in my snit I hadn’t seen the change in his demeanor. He wasn’t amused now. He was angry.

  “Nobody has ever managed to make you lose yourself during sex and then they blamed that shit on you? Are you kidding me?” Confused by his question and his obvious anger, I shook my head. Cole swore under his breath then focused on me again.

  “Liz, if the way you kiss is any indication as to how hot you are going to burn for me, sex with you is going to be off the charts. Those guys you had sex with were assholes and shit in bed. I’m not gonna lie. I like the fact that you have never burned hot for anyone. That means you’re gonna be mine even more. What I don’t like is that you took that shit on yourself. If a man can’t make a woman let go enough to enjoy herself, it’s on him. Not on her. Shit, Liz! You are off the charts hot and you don’t even know it. When I saw you in that dress tonight, my dick was about to explode. Nobody has ever turned me on like you do, Liz. And you haven’t even touched me yet.”

  Wow. That made me feel kinda proud. But he wasn’t done.

  “Shit! Now it makes total sense. You really don’t see it when men look at you, do you?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “Not really.”

  He studied me. I could see the wheels in his head spinning. Then it looked like it clicked and he swore again under his breath.

  “Fucking hell, baby, your fucking mother really did a number on you. And me being an asshole with my head up my ass probably didn’t help matters.”

  What the hell was he talking about? His hand was squeezing mine hard as he was looking down at the table, shaking his head. I had no idea where this was coming from or where it was heading. “What do you mean?”

  He looked up at me and lost it a little. “Your fucking mother and those fucking bitches in that fucking town. How they treated you like trash and told you that you were worthless. How many times did I find you crying because they were mean to you? How many times did the other kids in town make fun of you? I thought I was protecting you, helping you through it, but I see now that they still got to you. And then me being a jackass led you to believe you weren’t pretty enough for me. Fucking hell!” His voice was getting a little loud and people were starting to stare. I hushed him and he talked more quietly.