The Grass Could Be Greener

by Constance Masters

  “Oh. Do you think I should spank you?” Jeremy asked curiously with a twinkle in his eye.

  “Um, no,” she said. “I didn’t want to go out tonight, I went because I was asking myself what Jamie would have done and because those girls are kind of pushy. They both have their own issues, but that’s a whole other story.”

  “I’ll think about what you’ve said.”

  “And I’ll think about what I should do for next week when it’s my turn to make things around here work like I think they should.”

  “And until then? I guess we just carry on like we have been.”

  “I guess.”

  Chapter 6

  Jamie was up early, eager to start the day. She was excited about her plans. After a few Internet searches of the area, she’d decided on a few fun activities that she thought would please everyone, including herself. Unfortunately, they’d have to probably save some of them for the next week. Today it was a movie and lunch, both of which would be a treat for the kids and watching a film was art wasn’t it?

  “I think we should do the chores first,” Zeke said, standing his ground as the others happily jumped around with excitement of a day off. “Dad said after our work and chores.” He picked up the phone ready to call his father and check.

  Jamie felt like she was talking to a gunman in a hostage situation. Put the gun down and no one gets hurt. “Pass me the phone, Zeke. I know that’s what he said, Honey. But the problem is that the movie is only on once today and we’ll miss it if we don’t leave now.”

  “What’s the rating on the movie?”

  “It’s a children’s movie.”

  “You’re going to get us in trouble.”

  “I won’t. I’ll tell your Dad that it was totally my idea.” She would just rather tell him after the fact, so he couldn’t ruin the fun.

  “Please, Zeke!” Josie begged. “Don’t be like this. This’ll be fun. It’s only one day.”

  “Okay. I’m the adult here and the decision has been made. We are learning today, we’re just learning outside of this house instead of inside.” She pulled Zeke off from the others to appeal to him in the only way she knew would please an eleven–year–old tattletale. “If we can go do this now, Zeke, without phoning your Dad, then I will buy you what ever you want from the candy bar. Anything.”

  “Popcorn?”

  “Yes, popcorn.” Wow this kid knew how to have a good time.

  “Junior Mints?” Better, she thought.

  “Yes, if that’s what you want.”

  “Soda?”

  Jamie thought about the fact that the kids weren’t allowed soda and felt a little guilty, but not enough to go back on her word. “I guess soda would be okay.”

  “Okay,” he said, a little more enthusiastically than before. “But we better be back before Dad gets home.”

  “We will be and we’ll get all the chores done then.”

  *****

  They bought out the candy bar and staggered into the theatre with the largest screen. Jamie hoped she’d chosen a movie they’d all enjoy – not easy given the age range of the children. It must have been a popular choice, though, because the Wreck it Ralph theme was everywhere. Their popcorn cups and drink containers were all emblazoned with Ralph’s likeness and the kids were given merchandised toys with their food. There weren’t a lot of older kids at the theatre, but Jamie guessed they were in school. There were a couple of smaller kids with their mothers.

  The kids all settled into their seats and started munching while the giant ads flashed across the screen noisily urging them to go to the snack bar to get any number of food items. They may as well have saved themselves the trouble, there probably wasn’t much left.

  Most kids got inpatient and asked constantly when the actual movie was going to start. Not these kids. Their eyes were like saucers and glued to the screen.

  “Do you like the ads?” Jamie whispered to Josie.

  The young girl nodded. “The screen’s so big.”

  Jamie frowned. “Have you been to the movies before?” she asked.

  “Not that I remember. Sometimes we have movie nights at home,” Josie said, still in awe at the huge screen and the pile of treats in her lap.

  “This is exciting then, isn’t it?” Jamie said, suddenly not so sure she should have poked the bear. Her tummy was doing somersaults; she had a bad feeling about this. How ridiculous though, she tried to tell herself, that these poor kids had never been to the movies!

  “You might want to slow down honey,” she said to Matty, who filling his mouth with popcorn from one hand and Skittles from the other.

  He smiled. “These are real yummy,” he said around his multi–coloured mouthful.

  By the time the movie was a halfway through, Hannah had left her chair and crawled into Jamie’s lap. The music was really loud and the shooting was scary for a little girl. The worst part was when the little heroine called Vanellope, who up until that point had been a little smart ass even though she was very cute, got her heart broken. Hannah covered her face and was peering through her fingers as the little digitally animated girl stood with her mouth open and big fat tears rolling down her cheeks as the big man who she thought was her friend destroyed the sweet treat race car they’d made together, right in front of her.

  Vanellope was crushed and so was Hannah who sobbed into Jamie’s shirt.

  “He’s being mean.”

  “No, Ralph’s trying to save her,” Jamie tried to explain in her hushed movie theatre voice. She must have missed the part when the king lied to Ralph and told him if Vanellope was to race the car she would never survive. How do you explain cruel to be kind to a child?

  “He made her cry.”

  “It’ll get better, honey. I’m sure,” Jamie promised, hoping to God she was right. This movie was PG, it was made for kids! Surely it was going to get happier.

  “See look, Honey. Ralph’s going to apologise.” Ralph indeed looked very sorry for breaking Vanellope’s heart. This better be some apology, she thought. Hannah giggled, as did all the kids when Ralph worked hard to get the little girl to forgive him. He even agreed with her as she called him a bunch of creative if not exactly appropriate names. Giddy with relief that she hadn’t managed to scar a five–year–old for life on her first trip to the movies, Jamie joined in on the hilarity and grabbed a handful of Skittles from Matty.

  *****

  “Come on, kids!” Jamie said, as she tried to round the kids up to do their chores. They’d stopped at McDonald’s for lunch after the movie because she’d promised on their way into town but that had left them seriously close to the wire, time wise.

  “Zeke? You need to take out the trash.”

  I will,” he said, dragging himself to the kitchen. After wrestling with Matty and tossing the cushions from the sofa at Josie, he appeared to be finally tuckered out.

  “You are such a child!” Josie said tossing a cushion at his head as he left the room.

  “Josie!” Jamie squealed as a vase came toppling off a shelf and crashed onto the ground.

  “You’re going to be in so much trouble,” Matty said.

  “Shut up,” Josie said, embarrassed that she was about to cry.

  “You shut up, dumb dumb diaper baby,” Matty said before poking out his tongue.

  Jamie grabbed each child and tried to hush them just as Joe’s key turned in the lock.

  “Shit,” she said under her breath. The spanker was home and she’d turned his perfect offspring into the Devil’s Spawn. She may have bitten off more than she could chew here.

  Josie’s eyes widened as her Dad stepped into the room with his eyes narrowed.

  “Enough!” he said in a stern voice.

  There was silence for what seemed like an eternity until Hannah started to cry.

  “I feel sick!” she wailed before dumping the contents of her tummy onto her Daddy’s shoes.

  Joe fixed Jamie with a stern glare and then turned to each of his children. “I
’m going to bathe your sister,” he said, stepping out of his shoes with a scowl. “When I get back down here, this all better be fixed, and you all better be sitting at the table with your schoolbooks open in front of you. I want to see what you did today.”

  He looked again at Jamie.

  “Nobody better think it’s a good idea to try and write in their books now. I’ll know.”

  When his Dad had disappeared up the stairs, Zeke turned to Jamie. “Told you you’d get us in trouble,” he said accusingly.

  Jamie winced. She got herself in trouble too. The kids wasted no time getting their jobs done. They were all like busy little bees, scampering around rinsing the dishes, packing the dishwasher and straightening the cushions on the sofa. Jamie cleaned up the smashed glass, worried that someone would get cut. Now that would be the icing on the cake. If her intuition was telling the truth, the bear had been well and truly poked already and she was about to be bitten.

  Jamie’s heart sank when she came back in from dumping the glass in the trash to find three very dejected faces staring at their work, or the lack thereof. The last date on the top corner of their open pages was that from the day before. What had she been thinking? That antagonising Joe to see if he’d actually spank her was worth it? To have firsthand information of what it would be like if he did in fact follow through with his threat? What she hadn’t considered was these innocent kids having to face their Dad’s wrath.

  “I’m sorry, kids,” she said. “I’ll tell your Dad that it’s all my fault.”

  “That won’t work with our Dad. It wasn’t all your fault,” Josie said miserably. “We knew it was wrong and Dad knows that too.”

  Jamie sat next to the little girl who was older in the head than she should be and wrapped her arm around her.

  “Yes it was,” Zeke said. “Didn’t I tell you we would get in trouble?”

  “Shut up, Zeke,” Josie said. “Nobody twisted your arm. You wanted to go the same as the rest of us.”

  “It was fun,” Matty said.

  “I know it was fun,” Zeke said sadly. “I just knew we were going to be in trouble that’s all.”

  Joe walked into the room quietly and went straight to Josie’s book. He glared at Jamie before moving along down the line, his frown deepening as he glanced at each book.

  “It was my fault,” Jamie tried to explain.

  Joe put a finger to his lips to silence her and she stopped.

  “You were supposed to do your schoolwork and your chores before you went out today.”

  “Sorry Daddy,” Matty said guiltily.

  “Sorry Dad,” Zeke added. “We should have listened to you and done our schoolwork and our chores.” He stared down at the table. He may have thought that is was Jamie’s fault, but he knew better than to point that out to his Dad.

  Josie said nothing.

  “Josie? Do you have something to say?”

  The little red head’s eyes flicked briefly in Jamie’s direction and then she sat a little straighter. “You said it was wrong to lie,” she said bravely.

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “You and Momma always taught us that it’s wrong to lie. I’m not sorry, so I’m not going to apologise. It was nice to go out without having to do a bunch of stuff first.”

  Jamie could have cried. This child was throwing herself in front of the train to deflect the attention from herself and they all knew it.

  “Please, Joe. This wasn’t her fault. None of it.” Again with the finger on his lips. It was such an inconspicuous gesture but the look that accompanied it made her squirm nervously.

  “Josie, you did the exact opposite of what you were asked to do,” Joe barked. His voice wasn’t loud, but the tone made the other kids cringe. It was a voice they obviously knew well enough to avoid ever having it directed at them. “I’ll ask you one more time. Do you have anything to say?”

  “No Daddy,” Josie said, sadly looking her Dad in the eye.

  “Then go to your room,” he said. “Your sister’s asleep, so be quiet. I’ll be up soon.”

  Her eyes widened. She expected the reflection chair and some extra chores but being sent to her room meant she was really in trouble.

  Jamie was horrified. “No Joe!” she said desperately.

  “Hush. We’ll talk soon,” he said, turning to glare sternly at the two remaining kids at the table.

  “Tomorrow you kids will do twice your normal chores and twice the schoolwork. When you get behind on something you have to catch up. It doesn’t just go away. Put your books back on the shelf and get your readers and go to your room. I expect you to do quiet reading until I come and tell you to stop.”

  “Yes Daddy,” Matty said, happy to get away so easily and really pleased that he wasn’t Josie.

  “What chores do I have to do tomorrow?” Zeke asked.

  “I’ll write out a list and leave it tonight.”

  Zeke nodded and walked up the stairs behind his brother, leaving Jamie alone with Joe at last.

  A grim–faced Joe turned to Jamie. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

  “I just wanted to show them a good time.”

  “You lied to me. You told me you were taking them to the park to sketch trees.”

  “I didn’t really lie. I changed my mind. I got to thinking that there were lots of different types of art. Movies are art.”

  “Don’t you dare try and pull the wool over my eyes. You lied plain and simple.”

  “It isn’t right that your kids are locked up here like they’re in jail. They’re good kids and they’re being punished every day of their lives.”

  “How dare you!” Joe said. “You think because our kids aren’t spoiled brats, that get to do whatever they want, whenever they want, that we’re jailing them? We’re protecting them!”

  Jamie rolled her eyes. “Please!” she scoffed. “Call it what you want. You’re keeping your kids from the outside world.”

  “Tell me something, Miss. How well did the kids behave after you filled them with junk and then let them watch the educational piece that taught my five–year–old all about stink brains and idiots?”

  “She mentioned that?” Jamie winced.

  “Yes. She did.”

  “Good memory.”

  “Answer the question.”

  “Ok, they were a little wound up, but that was only because they’re not used to it. I’m not suggesting that you let them have all that stuff everyday. I was just giving them a break.”

  “I know they’re not used to it! That’s the way we want it and that’s the way it will stay.” He grabbed her wrist and marched towards the kitchen.

  “Where are we going?”

  “The garage,” Joe said. He towed a suddenly very pale Jamie through the kitchen, grabbing a wooden spoon on his way.

  “You can’t do this,” she said with difficulty. Her tummy turned to ice. “I’m sure there must be a clause in the contract somewhere.”

  “Nope. There isn’t.”

  “It can’t be in the rules that you can spank me.”

  “That’s funny,” he said with a humourless chuckle.

  “No, it’s not.”

  “Yes, it is. You have absolutely no respect for rules at all and yet you want the rule book to save you.”

  “Please. I won’t take them anywhere else again until my week. I promise.”

  “No you won’t,” he said. “But you’re still getting spanked. I wouldn’t tolerate my wife lying to me and I won’t tolerate it from you. As for your behaviour today, I’m speechless. My kids’ education is not a joke and isn’t to be treated carelessly. I’m not sure if you didn’t think it mattered, whether you were trying to turn my kids against me or if you were just thumbing your nose at what we believe in. Anyway you want to shake it, I won’t have it. Not this week. Next week I know I have to make some allowances, but this week we’re doing things my way.”

  “Geez, for someone that’s speechless, you sure have a lot to say.”r />
  “You are not getting the final word here.” He sat down on the seat that was left in the garage for that purpose and yanked her to sit in the chair next to him. “We can handle this one of two ways.”

  Her eyes were wide and unblinking and she was uncharacteristically silent as his words rang in her ears.

  “You can pack up your stuff and go home,” he said. “Or you can take your medicine. If you pick the first one, I’m sure you realise that neither of us will get paid. That was in the papers.”

  “What? No. I don’t remember that,” she said nervously. Jeremy had urged her several times to read the contracts. “I didn’t really read them.” She sighed.

  “Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to sign anything without reading it first?”

  Jamie couldn’t shake the feeling that she was sitting in the Principal’s office. “Jeremy did and I ignored him.”

  “Well, he should have done something about that.”

  “I need to read what the contract says before I decide,” she said.

  “You have until after dinner. I could do with a little space to calm down, too. I can’t believe you lied to me, you broke the rules, you encouraged my children to be disobedient and you let them think it was okay as long as they didn’t get caught.”

  “You’re deliberately making it seem worse than it was!”

  “That’s not possible.”

  “I guess I’ll go and make dinner.”

  “It might be a good idea to make it something light. If Hannah threw up, it’s a pretty good chance the others won’t be feeling like a lot of dinner either.”

  “Soup and sandwiches?”

  “That’ll be fine,” he said. “I’m going to check on Hanny and then deal with Josie.”

  “You’re not going to spank her, are you?”

  “No, I’m not,” he said. “She’s in deep trouble though, and she knows it. I won’t have my children being disrespectful.”

  “Don’t blame her Joe, she was only trying to be supportive to me.”

  “I know that. Doesn’t make it right.”

  “I honestly didn’t think I’d get the children into trouble.”

  “Then you didn’t think it through.”