Love at Second Sight

by Cathy Hopkins

  ‘No. Not exactly’ I laughed. ‘But hey, I’m only sixteen!’

  Betty didn’t laugh, in fact she had a strange look on her face. Her eyes had glazed and, oh Lord, she was starting to sway slightly. Should I make a run for it? I wondered as I checked behind me for the exit. ‘You have travelled far through time to be here. There is no coincidence, it is all predestined.’ Betty closed her eyes, became still and started to speak in a deeper voice. A voice that had authority. ‘You have not found love, but you will.’ Me and a thousand others, I thought although I couldn’t help but listen and stare. Betty was putting on a good act. You can find love, Jo. The reason you have not so far is because you have it imprinted in your unconscious that love is painful and that is why you have not found your soulmate. In this lifetime, you must break the pattern.’

  Whoa, I thought. That’s way heavy. She’s right about me thinking love is painful but imprinted in my unconscious? I did not like what I was hearing. I glanced back at the exit flap. Half of me wanted to run, but the other half was intrigued. I decided to stay. At the very least I could have a good laugh about it later with Effy and Tash.

  ‘I see a boy – you once knew him and he was your soulmate,’ Betty continued. She spoke fast, still in the deeper voice. ‘It was a great love. Powerful. He was your true love in a previous life. We have all had many lives but this love was in your last life. You were a governess . . . your name was Henrietta Gleeson. You were working in a London doctor’s house at the end of the nineteenth century. This doctor had children. Two. A young boy who you were employed to care for, and an older one . . .’ She lifted her head slightly to the right as if she was listening to someone. ‘Howard. His name was Howard. A boy of nineteen. He was your soulmate and yet . . .’ She stopped, as though listening once again. ‘Something happened to keep you apart.’

  Typical, I thought. Bad luck in this lifetime and bad luck back then too. Cool story, though. I wonder how many other people she’s spun it to.

  Betty opened her eyes and looked directly at me. As if she was looking right into me. ‘Jo. This is important. As you are back in this lifetime, so is he. Like you, he has travelled far through time to be here. In this life, you must find him. He is your soulmate. You are meant to be together. You must find him if you are ever to be happy in love.’

  I felt a shiver go up my spine, but I wasn’t going to let her get to me. ‘Was he by any chance tall, dark and handsome?’

  Betty continued to look directly at me. ‘You may scoff at what you hear, many do. I simply tell what I see. It is always your choice to make of it what you will but this boy from your past, he is your destiny. You can believe me and try to find him or dismiss what I say and drift from one meaningless love affair to another, never finding the true contentment that your soul could know with him. You must choose.’

  Whoa. You’re beginning to freak me out, I thought, then we both jumped as someone entered the tent to our right. It was a blonde lady in her twenties. ‘Are you still doing readings?’ she asked Betty.

  ‘Have you any more questions, Jo?’ Betty asked me, returning to her normal voice.

  I shook my head. I felt light-headed. ‘Um. No, thanks. I’m fine.’ I got up and Betty beckoned the lady to take my place. Another sucker, I thought. I bet she even tells her the same story.

  Chapter Three

  ‘Oh my God, that is just so romantic,’ said Tash after I’d filled her and Effy in on the Howard and Henrietta story.

  ‘Did she say what kept them apart?’ asked Effy.

  I shook my head. ‘Maybe he discovered he was gay.’

  Effy ignored my comment. ‘But didn’t you ask her how you’d recognise him this time?’ she asked as we made our way over to the stage area. Minted were due to play at three o’clock and I wasn’t going to miss that. A chance to stare at Finn O’Brady without seeming weird.

  ‘No I didn’t, Effy, because Betty made it up.’

  ‘He could be anywhere,’ Tash mused. ‘He might not even be in England. What if he’s American or something?’

  ‘Effy. Tash. There is no he. There’s no-one to find. You don’t actually believe it? She probably tells everyone the same story Who did she say you’d been in your past life? Cleopatra?’

  Effy shook her head. ‘She didn’t mention past lives at all. She told me I needed to focus on what I want to do when I leave school. That I have a tendency to start and stop things, not see things through.’

  ‘Well, she got that right,’ I said. ‘But no mention of soulmates or anything?’

  ‘Nope. Nadah. I wish she had.’

  ‘Nor me,’ said Tash. ‘She told me that I would probably go abroad in the future and that it would be a good experience.’

  ‘Gap year. That one’s easy’ I said. ‘She guessed your age. Loads of people travel before college or uni so it’s not hard to put two and two together there. Hey, did she do the deep voice and swaying?’

  ‘No,’ Effy and Tash chorused.

  What deep voice?’ asked Tash.

  ‘Like she was possessed. Bit spooky if I’m honest but I guess it’s part of the act. Did she really not do it when you were in?’

  Tash and Effy shook their heads.

  ‘It was probably her spirit guide coming through. Loads of mediums have them,’ said Effy. ‘Usually Native Americans or great souls.’

  ‘What if it was the spirit of Ethel, the dinner lady, or Fred, the dustbin man?’ I said. ‘Why do the guides always have to be exotic?’

  Effy shrugged. ‘I don’t know. They just are.’

  ‘I think what she said sounds wonderful,’ said Tash dreamily. ‘Someone you’ve known in a past life. Maybe even lots of past lives. A love destined to be time after time.’

  ‘Oh, come on. I mean look at me, Tash. Look at my jacket, my style. Victorian, vintage. She took one look at me and that set her off. Because I dress like this, she made up a story about me being a governess in Victorian times. She must take her clues from people’s appearance. She’s got a good imagination, I’ll give her that.’

  ‘But maybe that is why you dress like that, Jo,’ said Effy. ‘Because you were Henrietta and you’re still stuck in the past.’

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. ‘God, you two are so gullible, you’d believe any old tosh. I simply like vintage style. Me and hundreds of others. Does that mean we were all Victorians in our last lives?’

  Effy looked put out. ‘Maybe.’

  I rolled my eyes. ‘I despair. The here and now, that’s all we’ve got, Effy, the present moment and Minted are about to play. I’m going to forget all about what Betty said and go and get a good place to listen and enjoy the rest of the afternoon. End of.’

  Effy glanced mischievously at Tash. ‘OK. Lead the way . . . Henrietta.’

  I playfully went to swipe her but she ducked. ‘Nutjob,’ I said.

  Chapter Four

  Finn O’Brady. Tall, fit, tousled black hair, a teenage girl’s dream. He had charm, charisma, a wicked twinkle in his dark brown eyes, and knew how to work a crowd, directing some of the slower numbers to girls in the audience. He even sang some lines to me. As he looked into my eyes, I felt the words right down to my toes. Maybe he had noticed me at the magazine meetings after all.

  ‘Maybe he’s Howard,’ whispered Effy.

  ‘Hope not. He’s way too full of himself to be good boyfriend material,’ I said as Finn turned away from me and directed the rest of the song to a stunning girl with long dark auburn hair in the middle of the crowd. She had a tender look in her eyes as she smiled back at him.

  ‘I think she’s with him,’ said Tash. ‘I saw them together before the band went on stage.’

  The girl looked every inch a rock singer’s girlfriend in a tiny denim skirt and cowboy boots. I should have known he wouldn’t be single. Not that I care, I thought.

  ‘Hey, look,’ said Effy. ‘The bass player. Isn’t that Ben?’

  I looked over to where Effy was pointing. ‘Ben who?’
<
br />   ‘Ben Fraser,’ replied Effy.

  ‘He was the year above us in junior school. Bit of a loner.’

  ‘Can’t say I remember him, junior school was a while ago,’ I said as I looked over at the boy Effy was talking about. He was tall and slim with dark, longish hair and was wearing shades so I couldn’t see his face properly. I must have seen him in some of the magazine shots of the band though, and never really taken much notice. Finn was the only one I registered.

  ‘He’s on the Chillaxin team as well, you must recognise him from there?’ said Effy. ‘He was at one of the meetings. I think he takes photos for the magazine. I knew he looked familiar.’

  ‘If he looks familiar, maybe he’s your soulmate,’ I teased as I turned my attention back to Finn.

  ‘Familiar because he went to the same junior school as us,’ said Effy. ‘Not familiar as in my love destiny’

  ‘Methinks the lady doth protest too much,’ I said.

  ‘I’m not protesting,’ she objected.

  ‘You-oo love him. I’m going to tell Mark.’

  Effy thumped my arm. She’s so easy to wind up sometimes.

  The band struck their last chords, took a bow and made their exit. I noticed the girl with auburn hair make her way backstage and couldn’t help but feel a stab of jealousy.

  Tash pointed at a row of stalls to the side of the dodgem cars. ‘Let’s go and look over there,’ she said. ‘I need to get something for my parents’ wedding anniversary.’

  We followed her over to the stalls selling lavender soaps and bath gels.

  ‘Finn’s family are looking for a house in Highgate,’ Effy said to me, as she picked up a soap and inhaled the scent. ‘Mum told me.’ Effy’s mum runs an estate agency up in Highgate village so she always knows all the gossip about who’s selling and who’s buying locally. ‘She said they’re looking for a three-bedroomed house with a garden room or studio. Probably for Finn, don’t you think? For his band.’

  ‘He’d have pretty fab parents if they were actually looking for a home studio for him. How do you know his dad doesn’t work from home, or his mum?’ I asked. ‘The studio could be for one of them.’

  ‘I don’t,’ said Effy. ‘I was just speculating.’

  ‘Hmm. You speculate about a lot of things without having all the facts, don’t you, Effy?’ I said.

  ‘I so do not. Like what?’

  ‘Like now with Finn’s parents and before, running away with what the clairvoyant said to me.’

  ‘Ah. So that’s what’s bugging you,’ said Effy.

  ‘It’s not bugging me. I’m merely pointing out that you get carried away by your own imagination sometimes.’

  Tash stood in the middle of Effy and me. ‘OK, you two, pack it in,’ she said, always the peacemaker.

  I wasn’t sure why but I felt grumpy and I could see by Effy’s frustrated expression that I’d got to her too. Maybe the clairvoyant had unsettled me, not with the Henrietta story, more because she’d been accurate about me feeling that love was painful. That was true, especially after having just seen Finn with another girl.

  ‘It would be cool to know where Finn lived though,’ Tash said, ‘then you could accidentally-on-purpose bump into him, Jo.’

  I turned my nose up. ‘He has a girlfriend. Anyway, not interested.’

  ‘Yeah sure,’ said Tash.

  ‘You could camp in his garden,’ suggested Effy with a grin.

  ‘Yeah and get carried off by the police for stalking along with all his other groupies,’ I replied. I looked back at the stall. ‘Anything here, Tash?’

  She shook her head. ‘Mum might like bath stuff but I doubt if Dad would appreciate it. Any other ideas?’

  ‘I’ll have a think,’ I said as I watched Finn and the auburn-haired girl walk past us. He glanced over and looked me up and down, like he was clocking my jacket, and gave me the briefest of nods. Despite my promise to myself that I wasn’t going to get into him, I felt my stomach lurch pleasantly when his eyes met mine. Damn, I thought as I turned away.

  A moment later, Effy nudged me. ‘Finn’s coming over.’

  I turned back and indeed, Finn looked like he was heading my way. I felt like my brain was about to fuse. I wanted to talk to him but also didn’t, not if he was with another girl.

  ‘Hello, Jo,’ said a voice to my left.

  I turned to see Mrs Rayner, an older lady who worked as a volunteer at the same hospital as my mum but had recently retired. ‘Oh. Hello, Mrs Rayner,’ I said as I glanced over her shoulder. Finn had noticed that I was talking to someone and turned around, walking back to the girl he was with. I felt torn. I so wanted Finn to come over but I liked Mrs Rayner and wanted to talk to her too. She was a sweetheart who would chat to me and make me a hot chocolate if ever I was waiting at the hospital for Mum after her shift. I hadn’t seen her for a while so we spent a few minutes catching up and by the time we’d said goodbye and she went off to join her friend, Finn had long gone.

  Effy squeezed my arm. ‘Forget Finn, we’ll find you someone else,’ she said and began to scan the crowd at the fair then nudged me to look over to the rest of the band. By now, they had packed up their equipment from the stage and were walking out towards the exit. Ryan, the lead guitarist, Josh, the drummer, and Ben Fraser, the boy Effy had pointed out. I noticed that Ben had a black Labrador on a lead. He stopped to adjust the dog’s lead. I had a feeling he had overheard Effy say Finn’s name but it was hard to tell because he still had his shades on.

  ‘Yes. There will be others,’ Tash added.

  ‘I don’t want anyone else,’ I said.

  Even behind the shades, I felt Ben look at me, his face registered disapproval. Maybe he thought I was just another saddo fan on a very long list. He tugged on the dog’s lead and walked away.

  ‘I mean, I don’t want anyone,’ I said loudly so Ben could hear. Even though I didn’t know him, I didn’t want him thinking I was a loser. ‘I’m happy being on my own.’

  Effy and Tash both burst out laughing. ‘Yeah, looks like it.’

  Effy wasn’t going to give up. ‘So. Let’s think. What’s your type?’

  ‘I don’t know. I don’t know if I have a type.’

  ‘Yes you do,’ said Tash. ‘Haunted, Victorian poet with dishevelled hair; in fact, just like Finn.’

  ‘In that case, that is so not my type,’ I said.

  Tash laughed. ‘Oo, Little Miss Petulant.’

  I stuck my tongue out at her.

  ‘Whatever, we have to find Howard,’ said Effy.

  ‘Oh, shut up about Howard and Finn. I mean, just for a moment, say Betty’s story is true, then he could be anywhere on the planet in India, Australia, Outer Mongolia not right in front of us on the Heath, five minutes after I’ve seen a clairvoyant!’

  ‘Ah so you do think there might be something in it?’ asked Effy.

  ‘No. Course not. But if it was true – and it isn’t – it’s just not very likely that he’d be the next boy I see, OK?’

  ‘But if he’s your soulmate,’ insisted Tash, ‘you’ll surely find each other. It’s meant to be.’

  ‘Says who?’

  ‘Your destiny,’ said Effy.

  I scoffed. ‘Yeah right. But if you put that garbage about Henrietta and destiny aside, I do like to think that I have a soulmate somewhere but not someone from another life. I want someone in this life.’

  ‘So go and talk to a few boys,’ said Tash. ‘Be positive. You’re the one who’s always saying you have to make things happen.’

  ‘OK, I will,’ I said. I glanced around but there wasn’t one boy in sight who vaguely took my interest. ‘Er, but maybe not today.’

  Luckily Effy and Tash didn’t push it any further. We continued browsing the stalls.

  ‘Do you think Mark is your soulmate?’ I asked Effy.

  She shook her head. ‘I like him a lot, but I think he’s Mr Right Now instead of Mr Right Forever.’

  ‘I think Dave is my soulmate,’ said Tash. �
��It was like we recognised each other when we met. In fact, the first thing he said to me was, “Where do I know you from?” But we hadn’t met before that first time. Maybe I knew him in a past life and that was why there was something familiar about him.’

  ‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘Maybe he was your pet goldfish.’

  Tash laughed, but her and Dave did have something special. They had been going out since Year Eleven when Dave arrived at our school. Effy and Mark on the other hand were a much more recent couple; they’d only been dating a few months.

  ‘So what do you think is a real soulmate then?’ I asked them. ‘Someone you fancy like mad? Someone you’re drawn towards but you don’t know why? How do you recognise The One when you meet him?’

  ‘I think it’s how he makes you feel. Like, it’s right but exciting at the same time,’ said Tash. ‘Like a vibe.’

  ‘Chemistry,’ I said.

  ‘And you can’t stop thinking about him,’ said Effy.

  ‘And when you’re apart you can’t wait to be with him,’ added Tash.

  Exactly how I wanted to feel with a boy. I just didn’t want him to be a boy from beyond the grave. That was just too spooky.

  After the fair, we went back to my place for a DVD and a sleepover. My house is nothing special. It’s a mock-Tudor semi-detached on a quiet street between Highgate and Muswell Hill. Three bedrooms and bathroom upstairs and two rooms that have been knocked through to make one big living room and a kitchen downstairs. Faded white walls, Ikea fUmiture and rugs and a few posters around the place. One is a seascape with dolphins, another is the Field of Poppies by Monet. Every year, Mum and I make a resolution to buy some new artwork but somehow it gets forgotten as the routines of Mum’s job and my school term take over. That night, Mum was on the night shift at the hospital where she works on the admittance desk in A & E so we had the place to ourselves.

  After pizza and a fourth viewing of Bridesmaids, we went up to my room where I have made some effort with the decorating in an attempt to make it my space, although it’s three years or so since I did it. The walls are a dark red colour and I’ve got Pre-Raphaelite posters on the wall. I love that era of art. Ophelia floating on her back in the river by Rossetti. King Cophetua and the Beggar Maid by Edward Burne-Jones. Echo and Narcissus, Hylas and the Nymphs, both by John Waterhouse.