Ravensong

by TJ Klune

  “You’re hurting, Gordo. You’ve tried to hide yourself for so long that it’s become second nature for you. But you always seem to forget that you can’t hide shit from me. I’m your—”

  “Alpha,” I spat bitterly. “I know. You’re always in my head.”

  “I was going to say friend.”

  Goddammit. “I—I don’t—”

  “I’m your friend, Gordo. And your tether. Yes, I am your Alpha, but it’s always been more than that between us. Even before… all of this. You were there after my daddy left. When it was just Mom and me. When I called you on the phone and told you we needed help. You—you came for me. You always have.”

  “I’m fine,” I told him stubbornly. “You don’t have to feel guilty for—”

  “You aren’t alone.”

  I swallowed with an audible click.

  “You’ve always been this… force,” Ox said, not unkindly. “This immovable force. A mountain, I told myself. A constant. Always watching. Over me. And then over Joe and Carter and Kelly. Yeah, maybe it wasn’t what you wanted. Maybe it wasn’t what you expected it to be. But you were always there, Gordo. For us. It’s time you let us be there for you.”

  “I don’t need—”

  His eyes flashed. “Don’t lie to me. Not about this.”

  “It’s not as easy as you’re making it out to be.”

  “I know. But surely it isn’t as hard as you seem to think it is.”

  “I’m fucking broken, Ox,” I snapped at him. “Why can’t you see that? Why can’t any of you see that? All of you, you’re treating me like—like I’m—”

  “A member of the Bennett pack,” Ox said. “Just as you’ve always been.”

  “That’s not fair,” I said hoarsely. “You can’t just—goddammit.”

  He stepped forward slowly, like he was approaching a skittish animal. I gave brief thought to jumping down the stairs and heading for the trees. Instead I just sagged when he stood in front of me. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against mine, and even though I tried to fight it, this was my Alpha, and I needed him here, with me. He hummed a little under his breath, mingling my scent with his.

  “You gave part of yourself for me,” he whispered, and my eyes stung. I could barely breathe. “You protected me. And I will never forget that. I wish—I wish things could have been different. For all of us. But we are here. And we are together. And I will do everything in my power to make sure it stays that way. Do you believe me?”

  Of course I did. I loved him. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

  “It will work.”

  I opened my eyes to stare directly into his.

  “It will work,” he said again. “Because we are pack. We will sing them home, and one day they will be as they once were.”

  A wolf climbed the steps, and a moment later a cold nose pressed against the roses.

  gordo, the wolf whispered. gordo gordo gordo.

  “A TETHER is the strength behind the wolf,” Abel Bennett told me once. “A feeling or a person or an idea that keeps us in touch with our human sides. It’s a song that calls us home when we are shifted. It reminds us of where we come from. My tether is my pack. The people who count on me to keep them safe. To protect them from those who would do them harm. Do you understand?”

  I hadn’t. Not then.

  But I did now.

  “IT WON’T be the same,” Aileen told us. “I need you to understand that right now. It won’t be like it was before. Carter and Mark, they… won’t be Betas, at least not in the traditional sense. They’ll still be Omegas. But they will belong to Ox just as they did before, and to a lesser extent, to Joe. This isn’t a cure. It’s a stopgap. There’s nothing we can do to end whatever Robert Livingstone has brought upon them. It’s a magic that we have never seen before, this infection. It is corruption on a level that is unprecedented. We don’t know how he’s managed to achieve this, but we can do our best to contain it. The only way it can be completely broken is if the witch responsible breaks it himself, or… or if he’s dead. As for the others, they only feel an allegiance to Ox. They will see only him as their Alpha. Some are infected. Others are just feral, either because their pack was taken from them or their tethers lost. I can’t make any promises about them. They will not be your pack. Not really. But you will be tied to them because you are tied to Ox.

  “It will need to be during the new moon, when the pull is at its weakest. It will require all of you, and all of us. Our combined strength. But I believe it will work. There are doors in the mind. Gordo shattered the door between Ox and the Omegas. We need to close the doors between the wolves and the wild that calls to them. Those infected will affix to Ox. Carter to Kelly. Mark to Gordo. But you must remember that they will scratch on the door. They’ll still feel it in their heads. It will not take much for the doors to blow wide open. And I cannot promise you that we can ever close it again should that happen. We need to find him. We need to find Robert Livingstone and end this once and for all. You have the support of the witches. We will do all we can to help you in this war.”

  She smiled sadly. “Though I know not of what the future brings, this moment will be the greatest test of the strength of your pack. Of the bonds between you all. Only if they are true, and only if they are pure, will this ever have a chance of working. I believe you’re all capable of bringing them back. I just hope that you believe it too.”

  WE LAY in the bed. The sounds of the pack moved through the house beneath us. In the basement, the Omegas gathered, sleeping on top of each other. Outside, daylight was giving way to night. I could hear Elizabeth singing somewhere in the house at the end of the lane, her voice mixing with Judy Garland’s, telling us to have a merry little Christmas. It was blue and blue and blue.

  Mark’s massive head rested on my chest, rising with every breath I took. I ran a finger between his eyes. He rumbled his contentment, and I heard him whispering my name.

  “You need to come back to me,” I whispered as the room darkened. “You need to come back to me, because we’ve only just begun. I’m sorry. For all the time I’ve wasted. For all my anger. For everything that’s happened between us. And I know I don’t deserve it after all we’ve been through, but I need you. I need you here with me. I can’t do this without you. Not anymore. I love you, and I don’t ever want to stop.”

  His eyes flared violet, and for a moment, I felt GordoPackMateLove.

  It was dirt and leaves and rain.

  I hoped it would be enough.

  It was almost time.

  A COLD November had given way to a mild December. The snow had melted almost entirely, leaving behind a waterlogged earth. The ground squelched beneath our feet as we made our way through the forest.

  Ox and Joe led the way, their pack moving behind them. Omegas crawled through the trees, trailing behind their Alpha.

  Mark was at my side. Always.

  The trees gave way to a clearing.

  There, waiting for us, were witches.

  Aileen stood as we approached. Patrice stayed sitting where he was, off from all the others, eyes closed and legs crossed. His hands were on his knees as he breathed in and out slowly.

  “Alphas Bennett and Matheson,” Aileen said, bowing low. It was the most formal I’d seen her since she arrived in Green Creek the night Ox had called the Omegas. “It is a pleasure to see you again.”

  Ox and Joe bowed in return, eyes flashing in respect. I didn’t think we needed to stand on ceremony, but Thomas had drilled it into Joe, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. “We are well met in Bennett territory,” Joe said, sounding a little stiff. “You and yours are welcome here in the spirit of unity.”

  Aileen looked as if she was trying to keep a smile from her face. “Indeed. The spirit of unity. Tell me, Alpha. Will you do what you must for your pack?”

  “Yes,” Joe said without hesitation.

  “I expected as much. Patrice has been meditating since the sun reached its zenith. The lan
d here, this place—it speaks to him. To all of us, I think. I understand why your family chose it. And why others have tried to take it from you.”

  “They have tried,” Elizabeth said coolly. “Again and again. But they haven’t succeeded.”

  There was the smile Aileen had tried to hide. “No, I don’t suppose they have. A message has been sent, I think. But I worry it will still be ignored by nonbelievers. This is but one ending. There are other things to come.”

  “We’ll be ready,” Kelly said, standing next to his brother. Carter growled in response.

  “I know you will. Shall we?”

  The witches began to spread out around the edges of the clearing. I recognized a few of them when they nodded in my direction. They were all without a pack. I wondered what Michelle Hughes would think of them being here with us. If she wasn’t scared yet, she would be soon enough.

  It was similar to how it’d been when we destroyed the door between Ox and the Omegas. Only this seemed bigger somehow, beyond anything that I’d ever been part of. Kelly and I sat in front of Patrice. The ground was wet beneath us, but I ignored it. Without hesitation, Kelly reached over and took my hand.

  “All right?” I asked him quietly.

  He nodded tightly. “If this doesn’t work—”

  “It will.”

  He squeezed my hand. “If it doesn’t, I need you to know I don’t blame you. For Carter. For Mark. For anything.”

  “You should.”

  “No. I shouldn’t. You did what you thought was right. And we’re all still here. If this doesn’t work, there will be another way. We’ll find it. I know we will.”

  “Yeah,” I said, looking away. “We will.”

  “Gordo?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m scared.”

  “Me too.”

  He let out a shuddering breath. “But we’re strong. All of us. Because there’s never been a pack like ours.”

  “Nevermore,” I whispered, and somehow he knew what I was trying to say.

  Mark lay next to me, resting his head in my lap. Carter did the same to Kelly. Our pack gathered behind us. Rico’s hand was on one shoulder and Tanner’s on the other. Chris touched the top of my head, fingers tangling with my hair. Elizabeth stood above her sons, her legs pressed against Kelly’s back. Robbie was next to her and, after a moment of hesitation, reached down and touched the side of Kelly’s face.

  Jessie stood with the timber wolf, who didn’t look too happy being away from Carter. We didn’t know what would happen with it. If it would shift back or stay as it was. He didn’t fit like the others. He’d barely let us remove the silver chain that had been embedded around his neck, and that was only because Carter had been there. Ox couldn’t feel him. Not like the others. We didn’t know why.

  The Alphas stood on either side of Patrice, facing their pack. They placed their hands on his shoulders. The Omegas gathered behind them, yipping and growling as if agitated. They knew. Somehow, they knew something was coming.

  In the distance, I felt the first pulse of magic. Witches stood, arms raised, palms flat toward us. Their eyes were closed, and all of them muttered under their breaths. Aileen was closest, and I could hear her quiet murmur. It was almost soothing.

  “Dis won’t be easy,” Patrice said quietly. “Healing what’s sick. It’s not a flesh wound or a fever. Dis is bone-deep. In da head and heart. You’ll need to be strong, Bennett pack. For dose you love. For dose you don’t even know. Gordo and Kelly, dey gonna need you. It’s easy, I tink, to get lost. Help dem find your packmates and bring dem home.”

  “We got this,” Chris said.

  “Damn right we do,” Tanner said.

  Rico snorted. “I can’t believe this is how we spend our Sunday nights. If we’re not watching shit blow up, we’re in the middle of the woods with strangers chanting around us and feral werewolves getting ready to gnaw on our nuts.”

  “Oh, please,” Jessie said. “Like you’d want to be anywhere else.”

  “And if you said that you did,” Elizabeth told him, “we wouldn’t believe you.”

  “I could be getting laid right now, I’ll have you know.”

  “Bambi said you haven’t groveled enough yet,” Kelly reminded him.

  “Oooh,” Chris and Tanner said.

  “Jesus Christ,” Joe muttered.

  “Are you all finished?” Ox growled. “We’re kind of doing something important here.”

  “Yes,” Patrice said, smile widening. “I tink you’ll do just fine. Prepare yourselves, Bennett pack. Dis will come quickly.”

  He reached out and put one hand on my knee and the other on Kelly’s. Kelly didn’t let me go. It made me feel better. I looked down at Mark. His eyes were violet as he gazed up at me. “I need you to fight as hard as you can,” I whispered. “Because I’m coming for you.”

  There were bursts of light around the clearing, and Patrice’s hand felt like it was burning. The roses grew and the raven screamed and I—

  I STOOD in front of my house.

  The sun was rising.

  The street was quiet.

  Somewhere, a dog was barking.

  It was the same, but…

  The shutters hadn’t been painted.

  Those bushes I’d torn out were still there.

  I—

  No. No. No.

  I knew this.

  I knew when this was.

  A car pulled up to the curb.

  Mark sat inside. He was young. Younger than he’d been in a long time.

  “Don’t,” I begged. “Don’t do this. Leave. Drive away.”

  He didn’t hear me. He pushed open the door and climbed out of the car.

  I reached for him and—

  here he’s home i’m home hear his heartbeat resting sleeping home home home

  —my hand went right through him, my hand that had been taken from me but was here now, in this place.

  He walked toward the front door.

  It turned violet, and the ground cracked beneath our feet.

  From somewhere behind me, I heard the snarl of a feral wolf.

  I screamed at him to stop.

  I saw the moment it hit him. His nostrils flared. His eyes flashed orange.

  His shoulders slumped.

  But still he knocked on the door.

  I answered eventually, standing there with jeans low on my hips, the marks of another man littering my skin.

  “Who?” Mark asked, and now, with everything I’d seen, with all that we’d been through, I could hear the sound of his heart breaking in that single word.

  “You don’t call, you don’t write,” the younger version of myself said, as if I didn’t have a care in the world. “What’s it been? Five months? Six?”

  Six months. Fifteen days. Eight hours.

  “Who is he?”

  The house shook. I was the only one who could see it.

  I grinned, and I hated how it looked. “Don’t know. Got his name, but you know how it goes.”

  “Who the fuck is he?”

  I stood up straight. The tattoos glowed briefly, the roses shifting, the raven spreading its wings. “Whoever the fuck he is is no goddamn concern of yours. You think you can show up here? After months of radio silence? Fuck off, Mark.”

  “I didn’t have a choice. Thomas—”

  “Yeah. Thomas. Tell me, Mark. Just how is our dear Alpha? Because I haven’t heard from him in years. Tell me. How’s the family? Good? Got the kiddos, right? Building a pack all over again.”

  I took a step up behind Mark. I leaned forward, and even though it wasn’t real, it couldn’t be real, I felt the heat of his skin near mine. “Don’t listen to him,” I whispered fiercely. “I’m here. I’m here with you.”

  “It’s not like that,” Mark snapped.

  “The fuck it isn’t.”

  “Things have changed. He’s—”

  “I don’t care.”

  “You can shit all over me all you want. But you don
’t get to talk about him like that. Regardless of how angry you are, he’s still your Alpha.”

  “No. No, he’s not.”

  Mark took a step back, and for a moment we merged and I felt it all, his anguish, his horror, the devastation each of my words caused when they landed like goddamn grenades, blowing apart everything he’d ever hoped for. It hurt to breathe, and I choked as I pulled myself away from him.

  “Think about it, Mark. You’re here. You can smell me. Underneath the spunk and sweat, I’m still dirt and leaves and rain. But that’s it. Maybe you’re too close, maybe you’re overwhelmed by the very sight of me, but I haven’t been pack for a long time. Those bonds are broken. I was left here. Because I was human. Because I was a liability—”

  He said “it’s not like that” and “Gordo” and “I promise you, okay? I would never—”

  “A little late, Bennett.”

  He reached for me. He always reached for me.

  And I just knocked his hand away as if it were nothing.

  “You don’t understand,” and oh my Christ, he was begging me.

  But I didn’t hear it. I didn’t want to hear it. “There’s a world of things I don’t understand, I’m sure. But I’m a witch without a pack, and you don’t get to tell me shit. Not anymore.”

  “So—what. Poor you, huh? Poor Gordo, having to stay behind for the good of his pack. Doing what his Alpha told him. Protecting the territory and fucking anything that moves.” And even though his words were hot with anger, everything he (I) felt was blue and violet, emptiness and rage.

  “You wouldn’t touch me. Remember? I kissed you. I touched you. I begged for it. I would have let you fuck me, Mark. I would have let you put your mouth on me, but you told me no. You told me I had to wait. That things weren’t right, that the timing wasn’t right. That you couldn’t be distracted. You had responsibilities. And then you disappeared. For months on end. No calls. No check-ins. No how you doin’, Gordo? How you been? Remember me? Your mate? I would have let you do so much to me.”

  “Gordo,” he growled, sounding more wolf than man, and I wanted him to tear my skin from my bones. I wanted his teeth in my neck and my blood down his throat.