Endless December (Sleepless November Saga Book 2)

by Kelsey Clayton

  It only takes a few more times of him passing by her and smiling before I feel like I can't take it anymore. I look to Bree with tears building in my eyes and she immediately knows what I'm thinking.

  "Come on." She says sadly, grabbing my hand and leading me up the steps.

  When we reach the top, I turn around and spare one last glance at Holden. He hasn’t even realized we’re gone, so I reluctantly continue our walk through the exit.

  THE NEXT DAY, I'M helping Dawson dry the mugs and put them away as I explain what happened last night.

  "So, you just left?" He questions.

  I nod. "Bree was right, I shouldn't have gone."

  He looks like he's about to say something, but instead he shakes his head and sighs.

  "What?"

  "Nothing." He answers. "You have a visitor."

  He gestures behind me, and I turn around to see Holden standing at the counter. He smiles shyly and sticks his hands in his pockets as I approach him.

  "Hey." I greet him.

  "Hey. Is everything okay?"

  My eyebrows furrow. "Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

  He shrugs slightly. "You disappeared last night."

  "Oh." I don't know whether I'm surprised by the fact that he did, in fact, notice, or that he's calling me out on it. "Yeah, sorry. Bree was feeling sick." I lie.

  "That's funny cause I just saw her and she said it was you who felt sick." I close my eyes and cringe as Dawson snorts behind me. Holden sighs before continuing. "Look, if you didn't want to go you could have just told me."

  I can't help but feel like I may have ruined the small shot we had, all because of some stupid jealousy. "It's not that. I wanted to go, I swear."

  "Then why did you leave?"

  I bite my lip as I try to think of an excuse but I ultimately come up empty. All I know is I can't tell him the truth. "I don't know."

  He looks physically pained by my answer. Instead of replying, he simply nods before turning around and heading toward the exit.

  "Holden, wait." I call out. He stops and looks back at me, but the answer gets stuck in my throat, and I can't get it out. "I'm sorry."

  "Yeah, me too." He responds and he leaves as quick as he came.

  LATER THAT NIGHT, DAWSON and I are cleaning up when Bree and Skylar walk through the door. He smiles happily and goes over to greet his fiancé. I can't help but notice their outfits.

  "You two look fancy." I remark.

  "Duh. It's the annual black and white party at Kappa." My roommate answers, causing me to face-palm.

  "Aw boo, I have nothing to wear." The sarcasm drips from my lips. "Guess you'll have to go without me."

  Bree and Skylar chuckle at something unbeknownst to me. "We thought you might say that, so we brought a dress with us."

  Bree reaches into her large bag, pulling out a white dress and heels. I notice the dress is hers, and probably my favorite one out of her wardrobe. Still, I feel uneasy about going.

  "I don't know if he wants me there."

  Dawson and Sky laugh while Bree smiles deviously. "Is that why he texted me asking if you were coming?"

  "He did?"

  She nods, opening her phone and handing it to me. I read the conversation carefully.

  Bree: Weather sucks. Is the party still on tonight?

  Holden: Rain or shine. You coming?

  Bree: Yeah.

  Holden: Sweet. Is Kayleigh coming with you?

  Bree: I'm not sure. I'd assume so though.

  Holden: Please make sure she does.

  Bree: You could tell her to yourself.

  Holden: Why would I do that when I have you to do it for me?

  Bree: To be gentlemanly and chivalrous.

  Holden: You really need to stop reading the dictionary.

  Bree: Whatever, douche.

  Why does he want me to come so bad? Isn't he mad at me for leaving his game? Christ, he's so confusing.

  As soon as Dawson and I change out of our uniforms, we all rush out to the car – using umbrellas to shield us from the pouring rain. While Dawson drives over to the frat house, my knee starts to bounce nervously.

  "I cannot wait until you guys are back together, so you stop acting like a twelve-year-old around her first crush." Bree says, amused.

  I roll my eyes playfully as Skylar and Dawson chuckle. I know they don't mean anything negative by it. To be honest, I'd probably be the same way if this was one of them.

  SEEING HOLDEN IN A tuxedo is something I never thought would stop me in my tracks. His hair is styled perfectly, and he looks like something straight out of a magazine. I'm stuck in a trance and I can't look away.

  "Pick your jaw up off the floor." Sky quips, nudging me lightly.

  My mind frees me just as Holden comes over to greet us. He hugs Skylar and Bree before turning to me.

  "Can we talk?" His tone shows he means business, but I'm not sure I can handle this yet.

  "Can it wait? I really need a drink. I'm parched."

  He sighs dejectedly, but nods. The three of my friends look at me as if I'm crazy, but I don't pay them any attention. Instead, I walk over to the fridge and grab a beer.

  "Oh, no you don't." Dawson says, taking the bottle from my hand.

  "Why not?!"

  "Because you're not drinking that as a coping mechanism. I won't allow it."

  "What are you, my father?"

  "No,” He replies. "But I can call him if you'd like. I'm sure Holden has his number."

  He starts looking around, causing me to cave. "Okay, fine. I'll get a bottle of water."

  "Much better." He smiles triumphantly. I glare at him as I open it and take a sip.

  He's so lucky he’s one of my best friends.

  A FEW HOURS LATER, I'm dancing with Sky and Bree when I catch Holden out of the corner of my eye. He's standing in the dining room, talking with Jason and Caleb about something. I can tell he's enjoying it by the way his eyes light up and he laughs happily.

  Just when I'm about to go over to him, ready to talk, Abby comes up and whispers something in his ear. He nods and the two of them make their way up the stairs. My heart sinks at the sight of it, and I know instantly that I can't stay here anymore.

  "Where is my purse?" I ask Bree, being as she's the one who put all our bags somewhere when we arrived.

  "Holden's room. Why?" Fuck.

  "I have to go."

  I march up the stairs and down the hall. When I reach his bedroom door, I take a deep breath before I raise my hand and knock twice. Abby opens the door, giving me a dirty look when she notices who it is.

  "I'm just getting my purse."

  I walk past her and into the room, looking around for my bag. When I find it on the desk, I turn around to leave and see Holden coming out of the bathroom.

  "Kayleigh? What's wrong?"

  "Nothing. I'm just leaving."

  "But the party isn't over, and we haven't talked yet." He replies, confused.

  I roll my eyes. "Yeah, well you seem busy."

  Holden looks from me to Abby and then back at me, realization setting in quickly. "It all makes sense now."

  "I don't know what you're talking about." I answer, pushing past Abby and walking out of the room.

  "Come on, stop." Holden pleads, following behind me.

  "Drop it, Holden." I run down the steps as quickly as I can, but he keeps up.

  "No. We need to talk about this."

  I scoff, making my way through the crowd of people and out the door. I completely forgot about the storm outside, but I'm already out here and I'm not willing to turn back now.

  "Kayleigh! What are you doing?!" Holden yells through the sound of the heavy rain as I run off the porch and into the torrential downpour.

  "I'm leaving! What does it look like?!"

  "It looks like you're running away because you're jealous!"

  I stop dead in my tracks, turning around and facing him – the two of us are drenched from head to toe.

  "Fine, I
'm jealous! Are you happy?! Is that what you wanted to hear?!" He opens his mouth to respond but I cut him off. "Fucking Christ, Holden. I've missed the absolute hell out of you and all I can think about is how much I regret ending us three months ago. But the past week I've watched girls throw themselves at you, and I can't compete with that! You deserve so much better than me." My voice loses its strength as I break, tears flowing down my cheeks and mixing with the rain.

  "You're wrong." He shouts as I start walking away again. I stop, still facing away from him. "They're the ones who can't compete with you."

  I feel his grip on my wrist, turning me around. I look up at him as the rain pours down on us, the thunder drowning out the noise of the party. He places one hand on my cheek before bending down and pressing his lips to mine.

  Chapter 9

  Iwake in the morning, immediately feeling the effects of being drenched and out in the cold. My nose is runny and my throat is sore from coughing so much. Still though, when I think of the kiss Holden and I shared last night, butterflies erupt in my stomach and a wide smile spreads across my face. I have no regrets.

  "Only you would look happy while sick." Bree remarks, handing me a bottle of water and a couple of pills. "Take this."

  I pop them into my mouth and use the water to swallow them down. "Thank you."

  She grins as she sits down on her bed. "So, are you going to tell me what happened last night or are you just going to keep smiling to yourself?"

  Reaching over, I grab a tissue from the box on my nightstand. I hesitate for a moment. I don’t remember that being there yesterday. After blowing my nose, I cringe – hating how gross I sound. I throw the used tissue into the garbage can and look up to find Bree looking at me expectantly.

  "Well?" She questions, lacking patience.

  I chuckle softly and shrug. "I don't really know what to tell you. We fought, I tried to leave, he followed me out, and then he kissed me. End of story."

  "He kissed you in the pouring rain?" She deadpans, and I nod. "What is this, The Notebook?" Rolling my eyes playfully, I snuggle deeper into my blanket. "So, are you two back together?"

  I sigh. "I don't know. We didn't really talk. We kissed, a lot, and then he drove me home." Looking around, I spot the paper bag from the pharmacy on my desk. "When did you go to the store?"

  Bree smirks. "I didn't."

  In perfect timing, the door opens and Holden walks into the room. "Oh good, you're awake."

  My eyebrows furrow as I glance between him and Bree. What is he doing here? Did he buy all this stuff? How did he know I was sick? There are so many questions running through my head, but the only thing I can do is stare.

  Holden walks over to my bed and takes a new thermometer out of his jacket pocket. He opens the packaging and warms it with his hands before putting it near my mouth. "Open."

  I part my lips and lift my tongue, letting him take my temperature. Bree giggles quietly, amused by the situation and my obvious confusion. I narrow my eyes at her, but I'm unable to say anything. As soon as the thermometer beeps, Holden takes it from my mouth and looks at it.

  "Well, you don't have a fever. Have you taken medicine yet?"

  I nod slowly, looking at him and trying to figure out what in the world is going on. When I can't figure out the right words, I look at Bree pleadingly. Thankfully, she takes mercy on me.

  "He came over at the ass crack of dawn to talk to you, but you were sniffling and coughing in your sleep. I told him not to wake you, and he came back with all this." She gestures toward the paper bag and the tissues.

  The tension leaves my body, suddenly overwhelmed by how much he cares. "And when I woke up?" I question.

  "I forgot the thermometer." He answers, and the amount of softness in his eyes renders me speechless. However, I don't really know where we stand right now and we need to figure that out. Bree must be able to sense my inner turmoil because she gets up from her bed and slips on her shoes.

  "I'm going to go see Taylor." She announces. "Let me know if you need anything, okay?" I nod, and with one last 'feel better', she exits – leaving Holden and I alone together.

  A nervous feeling starts to build in my stomach as him and I avoid eye contact. I hate the awkwardness between us. We've never been like this, and I can't help but feel like all this is my fault. If I had just realized how much he cared and that he was trying to help, I wouldn't have broken up with him. The two of us could potentially still be together, instead of being so close yet so far apart.

  What if he was coming over to tell me that last night was a mistake?

  Just as I'm about to say something, I break into a coughing fit. Holden reacts instantly, rubbing my back and grabbing my water when I start to wheeze. When I finally calm down, I take the bottle and thank him quietly before taking a sip. He reaches into the bag on my desk and pulls out a packet of cough drops. Once he gets one out of the wrapper, he puts it to my lips. I open my mouth slightly and he slips the cough drop in - his thumb grazing my bottom lip in the process.

  "Holden, I'm really sor-" I start but he stops me.

  "Shh. Don't worry about that right now." He whispers.

  He takes his jacket and shoes off before climbing onto my bed. When he's settled next to me, he places his hands on my shoulders and pulls me back until I'm lying with my head in his lap.

  "Just rest. We can talk later." He says, running his fingers through my hair in the way that I love.

  Despite wanting to figure out what's going on with us, I feel like garbage. Between the warmth from my blanket and the smell of Holden infiltrating my senses, I fall back asleep easily – never wanting to move from this very spot.

  BY THE TIME I wake again, it's unclear how many hours have passed. However, judging by the way the sun is no longer shining through my window, it must be at least the afternoon by now. My head still rests on Holden's lap as he messes with his phone, keeping one hand gently on my stomach. I try not to make a sound, wanting this moment to last. Unfortunately, my cough has other plans.

  "Morning sleepyhead." Holden greets me.

  I groan, turning onto my side and snuggling my face into his stomach. When I realize what I'm doing, I freeze.

  Smooth, Kayleigh. Real smooth.

  I peek up at Holden to find him gazing down at me with nothing but fondness. It's the kind of look he used to give me while we cuddled up in his bed, or hung around with his friends. I always knew how much I meant to him, just from the pure affection shown in his eyes.

  "They're the ones who can't compete with you." His words from last night replay in my head.

  What does that even mean? Were Caleb and Jason right? Is he still in love with me?

  "No. It's not the right time for one. I need to focus on hockey and the fraternity." The reminder that he doesn't want a girlfriend feels like a punch to the gut.

  As much as I want to talk to him about us, and figure out where we go from here, I'm terrified to bring it up. For all I know, he thinks our kiss last night was a big mistake and we're better off as friends. Just because he's taking care of me, doesn't mean he wants to be with me. He's just a good person.

  I sit up and instantly begin coughing from the sudden movement. Holden lightly puts his hand on my back – a gesture that causes me to feel things I'm not willing to admit. When I finally catch my breath, I get up and walk into the bathroom.

  One look in the mirror and I'm completely mortified by how I look. I have crust in the corners of my eyes, and the bottom of my nose is all red and irritated – not to mention the bags under my eyes. I definitely look as sick as I feel, that's for sure.

  I turn on the sink and cup the water into my hands, splashing it onto my face a few times to clean myself up. I don't bother brushing my hair and instead tie it up in a messy bun. By the time I'm done, I don't look great but it'll do.

  I come out of the bathroom and smile shyly at Holden. He clicks the screen to his phone off, placing it down on my nightstand and giving me his undivided attention.<
br />
  "Water?" I question as I open the mini fridge.

  "Sure, thanks."

  After taking out two bottles, I kick the door shut with my foot and climb back onto my bed. I hand Holden his and open my own, taking a large sip and enjoying the way the cold feels on my sore throat. As I twist the cap back on, I see Holden looking at me.

  "What?"

  He chuckles softly and shakes his head, breaking eye contact. "You're really cute when you're sick."

  I roll my eyes. "I am not. I look like a train wreck."

  "A beautiful train wreck." He responds honestly.

  I shake my head but can't keep the grin off my face. Leaning back against the wall, I sigh – making eye contact with Holden.

  "Thank you for taking care of me."

  He smiles softly. "Don't mention it."

  "No, really." I reach my hand out and rest it lightly on his arm. "You didn't have to do that."

  "I'd do anything for you."

  I grin deviously. "Like my own personal bitch boy?"

  A bark of laughter leaves his mouth. "Okay Sicky, I think it's time for more medicine."

  My eyes follow him as he gets up from the bed and rummages through the bag. When he pulls out a bottle of liquid, I immediately close my mouth tightly and shake my head.

  "What?"

  "I'm not taking that. No way."

  "For real?!" He asks incredulously. "Kayleigh, it's just medicine."

  I shake my head once more, putting a hand over my mouth. "It's so gross!" I exclaim through my sleeve.

  He takes a step toward me, holding the medicine cup in his hand, and I back into the corner of the bed. "You're 20 years old. Just take the medicine."

  I shake my head yet again, keeping my mouth as tightly closed and covered as possible. Holden reaches forward with his free hand and tries to pry my arm away.