Dismantled (Girls on Top #2)

by Yara Greathouse

  “Hey, man, took you long enough. Notso called.” Colton says as he opens the door wide enough for me to come in.

  “I drove around for a while, trying to clear my head.”

  “And? Did it work?”

  “Not sure.” He goes to the kitchen and comes back with a couple of cold beers, handing me one. I take a long swig. I realize how thirsty I am as I feel the coolness going down my parched throat.

  “You better start talking, unless you want Brianna to get on your case. She’s on her way home, and you know how persuasive she can be.” Colton raises his eyebrows at me as his voice lowers as if she was already in the house listening to our conversation.

  “Fuck.” If you see Brianna, you would not think she was an expert fighter who excels at personal defense maneuvers. The girl’s beautiful and made of solid muscle, without looking like a giant bag of steroids. She has been training all of us in their basement, which was converted to a gym, and she always wins. Her beauty will distract you while her hand and feet will get you. The girl packs a mean-ass punch.

  “Get on with it. Or deal with her.” Colton laughs softly because he knows firsthand I have no prayer when it comes to Brianna. She will beat it out of me. Thinking of my best friend’s feisty girlfriend who has a heart of gold, does makes me smile. A couple of years back I could have lost both of them, when someone from her past came after her. It was completely unavoidable. Colton, Ciara and Brianna confronted the guy and his men, thankfully coming out on the winning side.

  “Fine.” I tell him everything. The anger, panic attacks… the visions. I’m positive he can hear the fear that’s rolling around my voice. As I speak these truths to Colton, I realize it makes me feel a little better.

  “Do you think I’m going crazy?” I ask him while looking at him eye to eye.

  “No. I think there are a lot of things you need to work out. And you already know I think you should get professional help.”

  “Well, you also know I’m a stubborn fuck who doesn’t listen very well. I don’t want to go to a doctor. I think I can work it out myself.”

  “Ciara thinks you are dealing with some kind of PTSD.” He says pointedly.

  I take a deep breath. “Probably so, but it’s not going to make me change my mind.”

  “I want to understand why.”

  “The truth?” Colton nods. “I’m scared that a doctor will commit me to some kind of institution.”

  “Come on! Traxx, that’s fucking ridiculous! The only way you would be committed is if you show that you’re going to harm yourself or others. Be sensible, would ya’?”

  “It is what it is. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Can we play a game until Brianna gets home?” He looks at me incredulously, but grabs one of the wireless remotes and hands it to me.

  “Fine. I’ll drop it for now, but I better start seeing some kind of progress or else we will be the ones taking you to the hospital. I’ll be damned if we are going to stand by and watch you lose control of reality and your life. Not happening.”

  I nod at him and start playing the game. I know he’s right. I have to find a way to work out this guilt and regret I feel inside.

  Chapter 3

  Ciara

  I’m just getting home from work. Being an Assistant to the most popular psychologist in the state is not always fun. It’s busy as hell most of the time. My family was against it. They feel I should finish my graduate course work and then join a practice. Some days I think I should have listened to their advice, but on the other hand, I really enjoy being completely independent and I appreciate that I can do whatever I want.

  I enter my apartment complex’s parking lot and right away I notice Traxx’s truck sitting in the same spot he left it days ago. It pisses me off immediately. Since his panic attack I haven’t seen or heard from him at all. He’s been in his room probably feeling sorry for himself. It’s time for him to get rid of his demons and it’s time for me to shake things up a bit.

  I practically run towards the building and up the steps, high heels still on. Opening the door to my apartment, I go straight to my room to change into some workout clothes. Keagan is not here yet, so I go on to the guys’ place by myself and knock on their door. I wait patiently but there is no answer. I pull out my cell phone from the arm band holder, and I text him.

  Ciara: I’m knocking on your door. Get your ass up and come open it.

  Traxx: Go away.

  Ciara: I have a spare key. I was trying to be respectful, but obviously you need a good ass whooping. I’m coming in. Be ready (meaning make sure you’ve got some clothes on!)

  Just as I’m looking for the spare, I hear some shuffling and the lock clicks open. I look at this thing that has opened the door… Traxx resembles the Big Foot guy from the beef jerky commercials; my face gets all twisty - I can’t help it - and he realizes that my facial expression is a bit distasteful.

  “Oh, wow! You smell terrible! When was the last time you showered?”

  “Mmm… I can’t remember.” He says with a sleepy voice.

  “What have you been doing these past few days?” I cross the threshold and come inside his place. There’s crap everywhere, when I turn around to look at him he’s got his arms full of clothes and a couple of empty beer bottles in his hand.

  “I took some stuff and I have been sleeping it off, pretty much.” He shrugs his shoulders like it’s no big deal.

  “Sooo, you drugged yourself in order to slip into oblivion for who knows how long? And you think that’s ok? We will talk about this later… right now you need a shower – you have some skunky smell going on…” I grab the clothes and the bottles from his hands and arms and start pushing him towards his room…

  “Oh, Dear God! It’s worse over here… Smells like something rotten died in this room… Get in the shower, I’m going to air it out.” I start to crack open the windows.

  “Can you put these in the dirty laundry, please?” He starts to pull down his flannel pants and stands in front of me almost naked if not for his undies. I already know he’s shameless! But then I hear myself inhale a huge gasp of air as I take notice of his muscled body…and the rippled abdominal ‘V.’ Lord, help me! The asshole notices my reaction and he chuckles. Chuckles! My bad mood immediately evaporates because I can’t even think of the last time I heard him laugh. I turn around so I’d stop staring, and get busy pulling the bed sheets off. One last peek at his natural tanned back, and I smile. He chuckled. There is hope for him yet.

  I move from the bedroom to the living room, which looks a lot more presentable without stuff scattered everywhere. I also start the laundry and spray some room deodorizer to mask some of the funky smell that’s still hovering around the place. I hear Traxx come out of his bathroom and a few minutes later walk into the living room. I hand him a bottle of cold water.

  “Thanks. The place looks so much better.” He says to me. He is wearing gym shorts, a muscle shirt and running shoes.

  I smile at him. “How did you know what to wear?”

  “I saw what you were wearing. I figured you were coming to either make me run or go to the gym.” He’s still showing me the ‘I don’t give a shit’ attitude, but I press on.

  “Which one do you prefer?”

  “Let’s go to the gym. I’m not ready to start running. Maybe we can warm up with some exercises and then take a run.”

  I look at him incredulously. “Well, I must say that I’m surprised that you are so complacent. I’m so not used to this side of you, Traxx.”

  “Let’s just say I know how you girls can be. Too headstrong when you get your mind set on something. I don’t have the energy to deal with that right now.” I see a hint of a crooked smile start to show on his handsome face.

  “You’ve got that right, ‘cause I wasn’t going to put up with your bullshit today.” I raise my eyebrows at him. “Now, start moving.” I start pushing him gently towards the door.

  “Hey! You are manhandling me!” He says in a girly
voice with a sarcastic tone.

  “Don’t make me show you manhandle, I may be shorter than you but I can still take you!”

  “Hmm… That sounds good! Promise?”

  “Ugh! You are impossible today!” I look like I’m aggravated but in reality, I’m super happy that he is finally in a good mood.

  We reach the car and after he gets in he pushes the seat all the way back. I forgot he’s got some long legs. “Do you have enough leg room?” I ask him.

  “Yeah, it’ll do.” He suddenly gets serious. “Thanks.” He says to me in almost a whisper. I nod back at him. There’s no need to say anything else. I know why he’s thankful. Which means that what I’m doing is right, for now, at least.

  Traxx

  Seeing her in front of my door was like smelling sunshine in the early morning. Even though the sun is setting and night is approaching - even after everything that has been going on in my life - she still has that effect on me. As we walk to her car I realize that when I see her smile, it’s like the best high anyone can wish for. My heart rate accelerates, my stomach drops and nothing in the world seems to matter anymore. It all takes a backstage to her.

  She’s anything and everything I will ever need. I recognize that now, but it’s too late for me to act on it. I’m all messed up and have done so many wrongs it will take a lifetime to right them all. The sad thing is that she has no idea of the way I feel towards her and I would never tell her. She deserves better. But if she wants to throw some ‘scraps’ of attention my way, I’m going to take them. I will gladly take them. These good memories will help me get my shit together later, during the times that I feel the pit of darkness calling for me.

  She catches me looking at her. “Where is your head right now, Traxx?”

  “Right here.”

  “You look like you were anywhere but here.”

  “Nah. Just thinking.”

  “Okay. That’s a danger zone all on its own.” She laughs gently. “Why don’t you find me a song – did you bring your phone?”

  I pull my phone out of my pocket and grab the plug she’s handing me. As I’m looking through my playlist I find a song that she is definitely not expecting. As soon as the clapping starts, she looks at me open mouthed and surprised.

  “Oh, no! You didn’t!”

  “Yes, I did!”

  “I expected some hard rock, but this… you gonna have to sing with me now! I love ‘Uptown Funk’.”

  “Oh, hells no! I’m not going to be one of those people…” And just as I say that, Ciara starts singing along to the upbeat music, and she is so happy it is contagious, so I start to play-dance like a maniac and she is singing – off key, as usual – but we definitely don’t care. By the end of the song, we are both singing and car dancing with the rhythm of the music until we pull up to the gym’s parking lot.

  Ciara

  “That was fun! Now, come on, champ. It’s time to get serious and pump some adrenaline through your body.”

  “Do we have to?” He asks me with a sad face.

  “What are you, five? Come on! The last one inside the gym will have to cook dinner tonight!” As soon as he realizes what I’ve said, he scrambles to get out of the car. Since I was already out, I slam the car door, turn around and book it towards the door of the gym, hearing him pounding the street behind me, but I’m in good shape and I give it all I’ve got, not daring to look back, finally reaching the door a mere few seconds before him.

  “Dammit! Those little legs can move!” He says with a hint of a smile and it makes me giggle.

  “This body has nothing but power!” I fan my hands from head to my knees and then point at him, “Don’t you forget it! And now you need to start thinking about what you will be cooking us for dinner.” He rolls his eyes at me as we enter the building.

  We work our way around the machines, doing set reps and alternating between working our upper body and then the lower body. It’s a light workout, definitely not serious. Traxx’s mood has definitely improved, and that makes me happy. From time to time I notice Traxx giving others a dirty look, and I wonder what’s going on in his head. About forty five minutes later, we are sweaty and suffering from the ‘feel good’ kind of tired.

  “Wanna jump on the treadmills for a little while? Or the ellipticals?” I ask him.

  “I think my ass has been kicked around enough for one day – no elliptical. Let’s go to the treadmills.”

  Since it’s a little late, the gym doesn’t seem as full as it was when we first got here, and we are lucky to find two treadmills side by side. The moment I step onto the treadmill’s belt, I notice one of my shoelaces is undone, and I get on my knee to tie it. Traxx gets on the treadmill next to mine and starts pushing the buttons to get it going. As I’m finishing with my shoelaces, I see a pair of very large feet stand in front of me. I follow the hairy legs, strong tattooed arms, huge torso, until I reach the face of perfection.

  “Hi, Ciara. Remember me?”

  “Blaze!” I stand up to give him a hug. Traxx looks back with a questioning look on his face. I choose to ignore him for a moment as I would like to see his reaction if I show some interest in a guy.

  “How have you been?”

  “Super busy. After college I started my own business creating custom computers and network systems for other companies.”

  “Really? That’s awesome! I’m just finishing my graduate coursework and I’m working assisting Dr. Ramos, here in town until I finish.” He has come a long way from the hacker he used to be when we were in school. Even though he does not look like it, the guy has a genius IQ.

  He gives me a once over, “You are looking just as pretty as I remember, tell me again why we stopped hanging out?”

  I would have thought that Traxx’s neck was going to break by the way he moved it so fast in order to look at us. “Because we didn’t have any more classes together.”

  “That should not have happened.”

  “Blaze, don’t be silly. You were dating that girl, with the jeweled necklace tattooed on her neck, remember? Besides, we are better as friends anyway and you know it.”

  He seems to think about it for a few seconds, “Oh, yeah… That was a few chicks ago.”

  “I’m afraid to ask how many is a few, Mr. Casanova.” I smile at him.

  “Well, it doesn’t mean that we can’t hang out sometime, as friends, of course.”

  “Of course.” My eyes drift to Traxx, who’s stopping his treadmill and coming over to stand by my side.

  “Hey Ciara, what’s up?” He nods towards Blaze.

  “Hey, Traxx, meet my friend Blaze Debrecht. Blaze, this is my friend, Traxx Maxwell.” They shake hands and give each other a thorough check. Men, ugh! When I look at Traxx, he’s frowning.

  “Are you ready to go, Ciara?” He sounds aggravated. I look at him curious to know what happened to change his mood.

  Blaze looks at me and smiles. “Well, I was just going to get started on my daily routine workout.” He ‘bounces’ his pecs while looking at me. “Call me sometime, Ciara. I don’t have a business card on me, but you can google my company – Debrecht Systems – or find me through LinkedIn or Facebook.”

  “Has your number changed since college, Blaze?”

  “Nah, it’s still the same.”

  “Then I think I still have it stored in my phone.” I smile at him.

  “Good deal, then. Hope to hear from you soon.” Blaze winks at me then looks at Traxx and extends his arm out towards him. “Hey man, nice to meet you.”

  Traxx nods his way while shaking Blaze’s hand, then looks at me. “Ready?”

  “I guess so. I thought we were going to do the treadmill for a bit.”

  “I don’t feel like it anymore.”

  “Okay, let’s go.” We walk quietly towards the car. If he thinks he’s going to flip flop his moods without talking to me about it, he has another thing coming.

  Traxx

  We get in the car and I’m struggling to keep m
y irritation contained. The little exchange inside the gym was just a quick realization that there are other guys, normal guys who are going after Ciara. And here I am, trying to exorcise my very own demons, holding a place at the very end of that line. Why do I even think that I can compete? That I can pull my shit together in order to have a chance with her? For years I’ve wanted her to be mine, but I was always too chicken shit to give into this thing between us, to try and have a normal relationship, preferring to keep her as my close friend without stepping over the invisible line. And now, now it’s all fucked up. I’ve got to fix myself before I can pursue her like she deserves.

  I don’t have to look her way to know that she is looking at me. Studying everything I say and everything I do. It’s unnerving. I love it when she does it, but still. No wonder I’m all fucked up – I’m a walking contradiction. The irritation comes back tenfold and I finally lose it.

  “What?” I practically growl at her, but it doesn’t faze her, I can tell because her facial expression stays the same.

  “Grouchy much? Obviously, something has crawled up your butt. If I didn’t know any better, I would put my money on Blaze talking to me being the cause of your current aggravation. Am I close?”

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Then I lie. “Nope. Not even close.”

  She turns her whole body towards me, and I wish she was already driving so she couldn’t put all her attention on me and read me like a book while I’m stuck inside this box on wheels with her. “Talk to me, Traxx. I care about you and it kills me that you hold everything in.”

  “Please, let’s just go.”