Dismantled (Girls on Top #2)

by Yara Greathouse

  I say nothing.

  “I bet it’s about a girl. I was the same way a few weeks back when Sarah broke up with me. So I know. That’s another reason why I agreed to move.”

  Silence.

  “Okay, suit yourself.” His hand reaches for the radio, set it on Bluetooth and the sad guitar strings of country music come thru the speakers. Fucking great.

  Traxx

  We finally get to the apartment and I quickly scan the parking lot for her car. I don’t see it. She’s normally off work by this time. I try not to let my mind wonder too much. I obviously have a wild ass imagination given that I can see dead people interacting with me, so no, I try not to think too much about it.

  I help Wyatt carry his bags upstairs, and leave his furniture in the locked trailer so we can take it to the storage unit later. He’s planning to buy a condo anyway and will be making an appointment with a realtor in the next couple of weeks, as soon as he knows where he wants to go.

  “I bet you are wore out, Traxx, after all that driving. Thanks for doing this.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. Payback is gonna be a bitch for you.”

  “Shit, it ain’t my fault that I fall asleep when I drive long distance!”

  Putting the bags down, I search inside one pocket for the key and then the other pocket. I can’t find it. Maybe it’s in my bag. I bend down to start looking for it when I hear a familiar set of steps coming up. Fuck!

  Of course, she lives on the second floor, so she shouldn’t be coming this way. I hear her unlock her door and then music floats through the stairs. I smile because she always has music on. She said she had the system installed for Brianna, because Brianna hated silence but I think she got used to it, too, so after Brianna moved out, she still played music 24/7. The knowledge that she’s so close makes me smile. The fact that I have to beg her for forgiveness takes the smile away. I hear her door close and then her steps seem to be getting closer. Yep, she is right here on our landing, looking like an angel.

  Ciara’s still wearing her work clothes. She had a tight black skirt that hit right above her knees, with a pale blue shirt. Her long blond hair is sporting a loose braid to the side, and she’s got some fuck me heels on. My dick just got hard.

  She looks at me with a frown on her face then takes a glance at all the bags on the floor. When her eyes get to Wyatt, a fucking smile shows out of nowhere. What the fuck?

  “Hello there, you must be Wyatt.” She moves towards him and extends her hand.

  “I’m afraid that I don’t know who you are and that’s a real shame.” He gives her his hand and sultry smile.

  “Let’s fix that. My name is Ciara, Ciara Collins, a friend of your brother’s and Notso’s. I stopped by to drop off some things that Notso asked me to get from the store. I think he’s planning on grilling this evening. Here, can you put these groceries in the kitchen for me?”

  Another fucking smile. Bastard. “I can take those.” I say hoping she looks at me, but she doesn’t.

  “Nah, brother. You’re busy looking for the keys. Carry on, I’ve got this.” And then he winks at her and she blushes FOR HIM. Motherfucker. I’m pissed. If he thinks he’s gonna take her away from me, he’s got another thing coming.

  I hear Wyatt explaining that I’ve misplaced the keys and how unreliable I can be. I literally bite my tongue because I’m about to kick his ass.

  “Traxx, here, use my key.” Ciara comes towards me, but refuses to look at me in the eyes.

  Aggravated, I try not to snatch the key from her, but after I unlock the door and disable the alarm, I hand the keys back to her. While passing the key to her with one hand, I grab her wrist with my other one.

  “Can we talk? I really need to talk to you, Ciara.”

  Her angry eyes finally look at me. “The talking time has passed, Traxx. We’ve got nothing to say to each other except for polite comings and goings.”

  The coldness of her words freezes me in place. I’m shocked. I’ve never seen her like this. If I was worried before, I’m stressing the fuck out now. I’ve got to fix this. When Notso gets home, I will grill him for some answers.

  She pulls her hand with the keys away from me, and turns around to walk back downstairs. When she passes Wyatt, she smiles like nothing’s going on and says goodbye and see you around. Oh, hell no!

  We hear her heels step on the wood at a leisure pace, until she reaches her door and all sounds disappear inside her walls.

  Wyatt grabs some bags and as he passes by me he shoulder checks me, causing me to stumble a couple of steps.

  “What was that for?” I ask him, aggravated.

  “For being doggone stupid, that’s why. It took me less than a second of your little exchange with Ciara to figure out what was going on between the two of you!”

  I invade his personal space and lower my voice to a growl. “Stay out of it.”

  “The hell I am! You have been acting like a zombie since the incident and I see your reaction in front of this girl, it’s obvious. You’ve got to fix this.”

  “I can’t! Like I always do, I fuck everything up. She warned me and now she’s following through with her promise. I can’t fix it.”

  “Okay, then. Since you give up so easily, I guess Ciara’s fair game.” He gives me a mischievous smile that sends chills all over my skin.

  “Fuck, no! Stay away from her!”

  “Nah, the girl is a looker! What? Traxx, are you afraid to lose something that you just said you ain’t got? Newsflash, you can’t have it both ways.”

  I have to leave or I’m going to bust his ass. I walk to my room to get my spare set of keys. When I open the front door to leave, Notso was getting ready to come in.

  “Hey, man! What’s going on?” He looks at me and then looks at Wyatt. “Hey, Wyatt! Welcome. What’s going on?”

  I start to walk away. “I need fresh air. I’ll be back later.”

  As I passed the second floor, I hesitate in front of her door. I put my palm on it and try to decide if I should knock or not. I don’t even know what to say. At the last minute I walk away. I’m always walking away. She was clear she didn’t want anything else from me. I don’t blame her. I’ve always known I’m not good enough.

  Ciara

  I can’t believe the pull I felt when I saw Traxx earlier today. All I wanted to do was to throw myself at him and forget about all the stupid things he did. It was so hard not to look at him. Although, Wyatt could be his twin. My goodness, they look so much alike, it’s uncanny. Ultimately, I was strong. I did what I was supposed to do. But, wait, if I did what I was supposed to do, why do I feel so rotten inside?

  Keagan comes in as happy as usual. I’ve been so sad these past few days, everyone has been walking on eggshells around me.

  “Hey sweet pea! Whatcha doin’?”

  “I’m sitting here, feeling sorry for myself.”

  “Wanna talk ‘bout it?”

  I take a deep breath. I haven’t told anyone. They think Traxx and I had a fight and that’s it. I’m not ready for all of them to feel sorry for me and be mad at him.

  “Nah. Maybe later. What are you doing for supper?”

  “Notso is grillin’. He wants us to come and eat with him and Wyatt. I can’t wait to see my cousin! I’ve missed him!”

  “Just him and Wyatt? Where’s Traxx?”

  They don’t know for sure. They think probably at Colton’s. If not, he’s probably drowning his problems at a bar, visiting with Jack Daniel’s. Don’t you worry about him. He’s a big boy and he can take care of himself.”

  Feeling like the entire world is on top of my shoulders, I get up off my couch slowly. I’ve changed into jeans and a comfy shirt. “Let me go put on some shoes and I’ll come up with you.” Keagan nods, and even though I don’t feel like it, I have to face my friends and face the world. We’ll see if those acting classes I took in High School were worth it.

  Ciara

  Wyatt opens the door and Keagan jumps on him into a big embrac
e. They look so sweet and happy, I feel a small twinge of jealousy inside. I want to be happy too, but first I need to figure out a way to resolve my feelings for Traxx.

  Wyatt sets Keagan down and she leaves for the balcony to see Notso, and Wyatt turns towards me with an assuring smile. “Welcome back, Ciara.” He extends his hand, and I politely put my hand on his. He takes it and brings it to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on top of it. It makes me smile.

  He looks down and sees my cowboy boots. Smiling he asks, “You own cowboy boots?”

  “Heck, yeah! Boy, I’m originally from Alabama, of course I’m going to have some. I put them on to show you support since you come from Texas and all.”

  “Awesome!”

  “I hear you guys are grillin’? I’m starved. Is the food ready?”

  “Almost, come on, let’s go outside. It’s a beautiful night. Would you like a beer?

  “Yes, please.”

  As the night went on, I learned a lot about Traxx’s childhood. I kept staring at Wyatt and inside my head I imagined that he was Traxx and that everything was perfect between us. Don’t ask. I have no idea why I continue to trick myself into thinking that we can be something great together. He doesn’t want me.

  At the end of the night, Keagan and Notso headed to the stair and then something unexpected happened.

  “Ciara, before you leave, I wanted to ask you if you have some time, would you like to go out to dinner tomorrow? As friends, of course. It’s been a while since I had the company of a beautiful girl, so yes, I’m taking advantage. What do you say? It will really be great for my ego, and I will let you pick the place.”

  I think about it for a minute. “As friends, without other expectations, correct?”

  “Yes, ma’am, that would be great.”

  “Okay, yes, why not? That sounds lovely. I really want to hear some more stories of your life in Texas.”

  “Okay, awesome! Let me put my number on your phone…” I reach into my back pocket and pull out my phone, I unlock the screen and pass it to him. He enters his number first and sends a text after. “Now we can be in touch.”

  I nod and start to walk to the front door. Ever the gentleman, Wyatt ensures that he gets to the door first and opens it for me. I smile politely and say goodbye. For now.

  Chapter 12

  Traxx

  I drive around the block five times before I pull into Colton’s driveway. I have no idea how I’m going to talk about this shit with Brianna there. I really don’t think Ciara has told anyone all the gritty details of what a coward I am, because Brianna would have been looking for my ass in order to skin me alive. I better get prepared for my ass whopping.

  Obviously, I waited too long to apologize. Especially since I left town, I should have called her the second I realized I’d made a mistake, which was as soon as I landed in Texas. There were too many days in between for her to soothe her wounds and start to move on. Me? I’m still in turmoil. In retrospect, if I hadn’t panicked that morning and freaked the hell out, she wouldn’t be so mad at me. I should have sat down with her and told her all the crazy shit that was going through my mind. I’m such an idiot.

  I’m sitting on his driveway and I decide to text him first. A few minutes later he opens the door and has two beers in his hands. He motions for me to come by and sit on the porch.

  “Hey man, want a beer?” He greets by passing me the beer and we sit down on the porch chairs. Before he can start an inquisition, I ask him about Brianna. “Brianna is taking a shower, so you can go ahead and talk.”

  “You and Notso can be such girls when it comes to gossip. I may need to do an equipment check on you, ‘cause I’m afraid you’ve lost your manhood.”

  “Dude, are you going to talk or what?”

  “Well, I don’t even know where to start.” I say truthfully. “It seems I’ve created a clusterfuck and I have no idea how to get out of it.” I take a deep breath and go on. “You know I have always had a thing for Ciara, right? Well, we have been doing a lot of talking and she’s been helping me get over the anxiety and PTSD from the incident. I mean, she’s absolutely awesome, she’s helped me sort out a lot of the guilt and negative thinking.”

  “Yeah, I’m with you.” Traxx takes a drink and keeps looking at Colton really intensely.

  “So, I was convinced that I was getting better, that I could move on with my life. So what happens when two people who are attracted to each other spend a lot of time together?”

  Colton looks at me with a blank stare on his face. I stare back at him. Then the lightbulb goes off, he flies off of the chair and starts pacing from one end of the porch to the other. “No, Traxx, you didn’t! Fuck! Please tell me you did NOT bone Ciara”

  “Dude, it wasn’t like that. Don’t be so fucking crude. That’s the problem, I have serious feelings for her.” That statement makes him pause.

  “And? Why are you here talking this shit out with me, when you should be with her.” He’s whisper-yelling now. Shit.

  “Because, after well…you know, I freaked out and she asked me not to leave, but I felt like I was suffocating, because I thought I was never going to be good enough for her, plus when I realized that I have deep feelings for her, I was scared shitless of what she could do to me! The pain she could put me through… So I left before she could hurt me. I left her there on her bed, crying… I fucked up so bad!”

  “It seems to me she had already made a choice and she wanted you, asshole!”

  “You did what?” Oh fuck, that was not Colton’s voice, that was Brianna’s and she’s coming straight for me, and luckily Colton blocks her.

  “Brianna, calm down, I’m sure we can all talk about this calmly.”

  “Colton, don’t make me hurt you!” She looks at me. “You fucker, I need to get my hands on you! I told you not to fuck with her! She’s the only family I have and you hurt her?” She’s is coming at me like a spooked horse without a jockey. I would be lying if I said I was not a bit concerned. I’ve seen her kickass! I’ve even seen her take on many guys at one time. The girl is an expert in Jiu Jitsu and Krav Maga, and I don’t want to be at the receiving end of what she can dish out.

  “Brianna, I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean it… I’m so messed up inside and she was so perfect, when she’s near me I just feel… complete, fulfilled, loved.”

  “Motherfucker!” She turns around and goes back inside.

  Colton stares at her trying to figure out her next move. Suddenly, his eyes get really big and he yells at me, “The gun, bro! She’s gone to get her gun! Get the fuck out of here!” And sure enough, Brianna was coming with her gun drawn out.

  I hear her yell, “You are a fucking coward! I should take your balls, because you sure don’t need them!”

  Fuck! I jumped the porch’s railing and start running. I reach my truck while I’m trying to calm her down. “I’ll fix it, Brianna! I promise.” Colton is back in front of her trying to hold her gun down, and I got lucky because she will not hurt Colton. If she wanted to hurt him, he would have been flat on his back in the middle of the yard next to me. This girl don’t play.

  Burning my tires on the driveway as I back out in a hurry, the entire time yelling promises to Brianna that I would have everything under control in a couple of days.

  As if I know what the fuck I’m gonna do.

  Ciara

  It’s been a couple of days since I last saw Traxx. That night I also had a visit from a very upset Brianna. She was really pissed. She said that Traxx had gone to her place to talk to Colton, and she overheard most of the conversation. Then all the ‘how could you?’ and ‘why didn’t you’ comments started. I told her I was hoping to get it all worked out before she had a chance to find out and she made me promise not to hide things from her again. Then she plain and simply said I better find me another guy because she was going to neuter Traxx. I laughed. Gotta love her!

  Tonight I’m going to hang out with his brother. I have to keep telling myself that it’s
okay for girls to be friends with guys. I’m not over Traxx, as a matter of fact I don’t think I will ever be. He’s pierced my soul with all the pieces of his broken heart. I’m still not sure why I said yes to Wyatt. It’s probably because I’m tired of sitting around here, spending all my time off wallowing in my sadness. Or, it could be his easy going personality, although his looks and Texas accent helped a lot. Well, I have eyes, dammit, and I’m human. Looking is not a sin.

  I look in the mirror. The image reflected back doesn’t look like someone who’s been crying for days on end. Thank goodness. My heart feels like it has been drained and has no purpose beating because there’s nothing there for it to keep pumping. It’s pointless. But I make myself get up and keep going. I have to live. There are no regrets. That one special night with Traxx is one that I will remember and cherish until my last days. The emotional ties that were released that night between the two of us were crafted with the most special ribbons: love and rapture. I don’t care how hard Traxx tries to fight it. It was all there in between the two of us, it was real and we both felt it. I have to have faith that in the end, he will make the right choices.

  A knock on my door brings me back to the here and now. “Come in.”

  “Hey, Ciara – Wow! You look great! What are you up to?” Keagan looks at me with a mischievous smile.

  “I’m going to the movies with Wyatt. Want to come with?” I ask her.

  “Oh, nooo, I already have plans.”

  I look at her with a raised eyebrow, because it seems like she’s up to something, so I ask. “What are you up to?”

  “Meee? Nothing. What makes you say that?”

  “It seems strange that you’d be so happy for me to be going out with the wrong cousin.”

  “It matters not which one you choose as long as you are happy.” There goes the smile again.

  The doorbell rings.

  Keagan turns and goes to open the door. As I give myself a final look in the mirror, for some crazy reason, I start to reconsider all of this. Suddenly I’m nervous and I wonder what would be Traxx’s reaction. Well, it doesn’t matter because he was very clear he didn’t want to have anything to do with me. So if he sees me going out, it shouldn’t bother him – right? We’ll see.