Get To Me (8th Sin Book 1)

by Holly Hood

  Chapter 15

  I think Sophie is as stunned as I am when she looks at my birth certificate.

  “You have got to be kidding me,” she scoffs. “And you waited two days to tell me this?”

  “I didn’t want to say anything to anyone.”

  “But you just said Jackson knows.” She tries to argue. I don’t know what it is with her. She never has the appropriate reaction when the time calls for it.

  “Jackson was there.” I remind her. “He’s the one who found it.”

  “It was just laying around in a box of family memories?” She drops down on the couch. “How awful.”

  She’s not helping the situation. I’m not feeling better like I did when I talked to Jackson about this entire thing. I’m trying not to be angry. I am waiting it out, so I don’t do the wrong thing.

  “Your father had a baby with another woman while he was married to your mom?” She says this out loud. “And your mother just stayed with him and never told you?”

  That wasn’t the worst part. Before I can tell her about Sarah Rose and the shelter someone knocks on the door.

  Sophie answers it. “Ryker, nice to see you.”

  They hug, and she lets him inside.

  “Hi,” I tell him, once again he has showed up without even as much as a text message announcing his arrival but I’m beginning to get used to it. Maybe one day he’ll trust that I won’t run to the media and announce his arrival.

  “Hey,” he says, pecking me on the lips. “These are for you. New sponsor shit.”

  I clutch the giant bag.

  “Are you going to open it?” He looks around the room sensing the funky vibe. “What the hell is going on?”

  Sophie sits back down and clears her throat. “Savy got some bad news while you were away.”

  “Sophie,” I snap. “Maybe I didn’t want to say anything.”

  I watch the color slowly leave his face. I wonder if he thinks I’m about to tell him I’m pregnant.

  I cross my arms. “I wasn’t going to say anything to you. Because it’s not your problem. But since Sophie has such a big mouth I’ll just tell you.”

  He sits down. “So tell me.”

  “I found this the other day at my parents’ house.” I hand the birth certificate over. He rubs the back of my neck, barely acknowledging the paper.

  “Yeah.” He hands it back.

  “What do you mean yeah?” I squeeze the plastic bag he just gave me a bit, angry that he’s treating my crisis like it’s nothing.

  “I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you for four years now, that I think something is not right with your parents.”

  Talk about a punch to the gut. “What?”

  “The night of the accident, you called me and wanted me to pick you up. I was going to tell you that night, but that obviously didn’t happen.”

  “Tell me what?” I demand.

  “That I might have seen your father doing some shady shit four years ago.”

  Sophie groans. “What kind of shady shit, Ryker? Don’t you think this is something you might wanna tell a girl?”

  “I looked into it. I couldn’t prove anything. He was handing over what I thought at the time looked to be a lot of money to someone.” He looks at me. “An older guy. Maybe he was paying someone off.”

  I clutch my chest. I can’t breathe. This is all making me sick. “You saw my father paying someone and you never told me until just now when I show you a birth certificate?” I jump up. “A document showing that I am not my mother’s child.”

  It’s not the first time I’ve said it out loud. “And the woman who’s my real mother is dead. And you just never told me?”

  Ryker tugs down his hat. “It’s not like I knew your parents were lying to you about something like that. I thought maybe he just had a gambling problem or something that he wasn’t telling the family about. It happens all the time.”

  I shake my head. “Please leave.”

  “Savy,” Ryker says.

  “Just go.” I don’t want to talk to him. I have been talking to him for months now and not once has he ever bothered to tell me that he thought my father was hiding something from me.

  He touches my arm, but I pull away. I shove the bag at him.

  “I can’t believe you’re getting mad at me for this.”

  “Well, you know what?” I glare. “If you would have mentioned what you thought four years ago maybe I would have known sooner and not been blindsided with the truth.”

  He drops the bag at my feet. “This is fucked up. I’m out of here.”

  “Good.” I follow him to the door and slam it before he can say anything else to me.

  When I turn around, Sophie is looking at me.

  I sigh. “When I started working for Jackson at the homeless shelter there was this man...” I explain the whole weird thing that I thought was nothing more than a coincidence until now.

  When I finish, Sophie shakes her head. “You have to talk to him.”

  “I know. But Jackson thinks he’s crazy. I’m not sure I can believe anything he says.”

  “You have to try.” She touches my arm. “Savy, I tell you all the time I believe in divine intervention.”

  “I know. And I try to ignore you every time you say it.”

  She points a finger at me. “You quit school to work for free at the shelter where you possibly met your grandfather, the dad of the mother you never even knew existed.”

  “Why wouldn’t my parents tell me this?” I shake my head. “Why would they let me think everything was fine all these years when it wasn’t?”

  I hate to think of what else I’ve been lied to about.

  ***

  I can’t sleep.

  I roll over in bed and grab my phone off the nightstand. I don’t know who I should call, so I call the only person that can make me feel better.

  Jackson picks up on the second ring. “You’re up late.”

  “I can’t sleep.” I draw up my legs and press my chin against my knees. “I’ve been lying here thinking of every worst-case scenario.”

  “I can imagine,” he says softly. “Why don’t you let me pick you up? We can hang out here at my place. Maybe it’ll take your mind off things.”

  “I’m sure you have meetings or something in the morning.” It’s almost three in the morning.

  “I’ll cancel them.”

  “And the shelter,” I point out.

  “I’ll have someone else go in for the day.”

  I sigh. “This is not your problem.”

  “I don’t mind making it my problem. Besides, I think you would do the same thing for me.”

  He was right; I would. And it makes me sad that Ryker isn’t anything like him.

  “I can be there in about ten minutes.” He waits for me to agree.

  “Sounds good.” Before I hang up I thank him for being way too amazing.

  “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, Savy. Don’t worry about it. We’ll figure this out. I promise.”

  I hang up the phone and fight tears. I gather up some clothes and a few things I’ll need and tie my hair back in a ponytail. What I need to do right now is to get away. Because if I don’t, I’m not so sure of what I might do.

  I don’t know if this secret is meant to be uncovered. And I don’t know if I want to know why it became one in the first place.

  Chapter 16

  His entire house is dark, and it’s soothing.

  I take off my jacket and throw it over a chair in his kitchen.

  “You want something to eat or drink?” He looks at me.

  “No.” I shake my head. “I really just want to lay down.”

  Jackson nods. “Well, let’s go.”

  I love his bed. It’s a giant king size with an overstuffed comforter that smells like freshly washed linen and feels amazing against my skin. I sit on the edge and remove my shoes and then my socks.

  Jackson comes into the room and sets his keys and wallet on
his dresser. “Do you want a t-shirt or something to wear?”

  I nod.

  He takes one from his drawer and hands it over. “Thanks.”

  “No problem.”

  I undo my shirt and unzip my jeans and, like the gentleman he is, he looks away to give me a bit of privacy.

  “You are one of a kind,” I tell him. “You know that, right?”

  He gives a small smile. “So you keep saying.”

  I climb onto the bed after slipping the shirt on. “You could have disappointed me like Ryker did, but you didn’t.”

  He climbs into bed and settles into his pillows. He grabs the remote from his nightstand and turns on the television. And we stare at the news not saying anything for a moment. And finally he looks at me. “What did he do?”

  It’s not weird talking about Ryker with Jackson. Like I said, we have an understanding, all of us.

  The light from the television flickers against his face.

  “It’s more what he didn’t do.”

  “Oh,” is all he says.

  “Ryker said he saw my dad four years ago doing something strange. And he tried to tell me back then. But the accident happened so he couldn’t. But now that we’ve been hanging out he had more than enough chances to tell me and he didn’t. And this might have changed something.”

  Jackson shrugs. “I honestly don’t see it changing anything, Savy. Unless Ryker knew the truth, there’s nothing he could have said or done to make this any better.”

  He leans back, and I drop my head against his chest. He wraps an arm around me protectively. “I think he meant well.”

  “You don’t even know him,” I argue. “After all these years he had a chance to say something and he never did.”

  I settle into his chest. “I just want some answers. I want to know that there’s a good reason for it and that I am not a mistake.”

  Jackson nods in agreement. “I think anyone would want that… considering.”

  His fingers close around mine, and he squeezes.

  “Thank you for being here,” I tell him.

  I kiss him on the cheek.

  ***

  I’m at the shelter sorting through boxes of canned goods and supplies. I’m doing all I can to stay focused and not come undone. Another day slips by, and I’m no closer to knowing the truth. But I also know that I might see Lee today, and that might offer answers. But I’m not sure exactly how I will get them. If Lee doesn’t know about me, trying to explain who I think I am will only devastate this man more than he already is.

  I put the last of the green beans on the shelf and spin around. There is still a giant stack of boxes to get through before the day is over. And I haven’t seen Jackson at all.

  I work at the shelter one day a week if I’m needed. And today is the day I’m needed.

  So I dive back into the boxes working through them one by one until I finally finish.

  I break down the cardboard and make two trips to the big dumpster behind the shelter.

  I’m free to go, but I want to see if I can find Lee.

  I go out into the dining hall and look around, but I don’t see him. He’s not around; usually he’s sitting enjoying a bowl of soup or eating some kind of sweets. But today he’s not here.

  I decide to check one more place before I go.

  I go down the hall, searching for the room that Lee always wants but never uses. And by some miracle he is actually there laying in the bed. I knock on the door, and when he doesn’t wake up, I carefully step inside. It’s a simple room with a bed, a dresser, and a small table for reading or writing.

  “Lee,” I whisper. He startles and sits up. His hat next to him. His hair is thinning, and there is a small scar on his forehead that I never noticed before.

  “What a way to wake up,” he says, giving me a big grin.

  “I came to talk to you.” I take a seat at the table and watch him with his hat. He finally gets it back on his head and looks at me.

  “What would you like to talk about?”

  I swallow. “About your daughter. I would like to know about her.”

  He studies the floor. “Sara Rose was a good girl.”

  “What was she like?”

  “She was wonderful. Always smiling. Always happy no matter what.” He looks at me, and I see life in his eyes again. “I was always proud of her.”

  “I bet you were.” I sigh. “What happened to her?”

  He looks away. “She got involved with the wrong people and made mistakes. But that didn’t matter to me; she was still my daughter.”

  “What kind of mistakes?”

  He smiles. “Drugs. Crime. You name it; she did it.”

  “Lee, do you have any other kids?” Maybe he has more family.

  “Just my Sara Rose.” And a darkness sweeps over him. He tugs his hat off. “Now, I’m tired. I need to go to sleep.”

  I stand up. “Okay. Thanks for talking with me.”

  “You be good.”

  “I will.”

  When I’m in the hallway, I take out my phone and dial Jackson.

  “Hey,” I say. “Is there any way you can find out information about Sara Rose and Lee for me?”

  I’m pretty sure Jackson can find out whatever he wants.

  “No problem. I’ll see what I can do.”

  And just like that I am one step closer to uncovering this secret. But first there’s one person I want to see.

  Chapter 17

  My mother.

  She’s in the kitchen when I get there.

  I come in the door, and I wait until she notices me standing there.

  “I didn’t even hear you pull up.” She dries her hands on a dish towel and looks me over. “You look pale.”

  I shrug. “I haven’t been feeling all that well lately, Mother.” And it sounds odd saying it now.

  “Do you need to see a doctor?”

  I shake my head letting her fuss with my hair. “No, I’m fine. It’ll pass.”

  “Are you hungry?”

  I shake my head again and sit down. “How was the anniversary?”

  “It was great.” She smiles. “Your father and I were very impressed with the dinner and the decorations. You really went all out this year.”

  I smile back.

  “Ben says Jackson helped out too.”

  “Yeah. He’s been very helpful lately,” I say. “Mom, have you always been in love with my dad?”

  I spot a slight wrinkle in her brows. “Of course. Why do you ask that?”

  “I’m just curious. You never know when you need to know these things.” I tap my fingers on the table. “Maybe one day I’ll fall in love and get married and have two wonderful kids just like you and dad.”

  She nods. “It’s very possible. Is that what you want?”

  This is the psychologist in her coming through, but I go along with it. “Of course that’s what I want. Everyone wants to be happy.”

  “Do you think it’ll be with Ryker?”

  I shake my head. “I don’t know. I couldn’t say. He hasn’t been honest with me and honesty is a big deal. You know that.”

  She nods her head. “Of course I do.”

  It’s hard not blurting it out. But I don’t. I wonder if she even knows that the birth certificate is missing. Or if she thinks it’s still safely put wherever she placed it to begin with.

  “Is there anything the person you love could do to make you not love them?”

  She studies me for a long time. “There’s always room for forgiveness.”

  “Always?”

  She nods. “Of course.”

  “Have you or dad ever done something that warranted forgiveness?”

  Now I can see the crease in her forehead. She sighs. “When we first got together we both made some very silly mistakes.”

  I don’t think an affair that leads to a baby with another woman is silly.

  “We got over them. And we learned to move on and grow.” She looks away. “Your fath
er and I, we have had our obstacles but we always managed to understand and grow.”

  “You’ve never felt betrayed?” I can’t believe this is all there is to my parents’ relationship, considering the newest detail. “You never thought that you would be better off without him ever?”

  “No. I’ve always been in love with your father. No matter what. And I love my family, each and every one of you no matter what.”

  I don’t get it. And I’m afraid I’ll never get it unless I say something to her. But I don’t know what to say.

  “Tell me about the day I was born.” I can’t believe I just said that. “Were you happy?”

  “Extremely.”

  “What about dad?”

  “Of course.”

  I don’t get it. “Is there anything you want to say to me?”

  She searches my eyes. “No, Savy. I don’t know what there would need to be said.”

  “Why did you name me Savy?” I watch her fuss with the buttons of her shirt. “Benjamin is such a common name. And then you name me Savy. And I know you, it’s a strange choice for you.”

  She gets up and starts straightening the table. “It just seemed fitting. I don’t know. I liked the sound of it.”

  I watch her clamber around the kitchen, avoiding me just like she says I always do to her when I don’t want to talk about something. She has to know I see it.

  I touch her arm, stopping her in her tracks. “I love you, Mom.” And I squeeze her tight. “I know sometimes I don’t say it enough, but I do.” She squeezes me back.

  “I love you too, Savy.”

  When she starts scrubbing the sink out, I sneak down the hallway to my parent’s bedroom. I open up the box where Jackson found the birth certificate and slip it back inside. I know her enough to know that she is going to look for it now that I’ve asked things I normally wouldn’t talk about. I put it back, so she doesn’t have to feel what I felt. I’m not sure if I can admit what I know. I’m just not ready to say it.

  And if my mother were willing to tell me, she would have She has no regrets, she doesn’t hate my father. She has never made me feel like an outsider; I can’t understand why anyone would want to ruin their perfect world by exposing the truth that was neatly hidden away.