The Seven Secrets of Happiness

by Sharon Owens

‘May God be good to you and your big earrings, Pat Butcher!’ Ruby said then. Poor old Pat has had more than her fair share of heartaches over the years, she thought. I bet it won’t be two minutes before it all kicks off again in the Queen Vic…

  3. The Accident

  However, by nine o’clock, Ruby was getting seriously worried. She was standing by the bay window at the front of the house, peering up and down the street for any sign of her husband’s car. In seven years of marriage Jonathan had never been home this late on Christmas Eve. She’d sent him three text messages and called him twice, but there’d been no reply. Surely he hadn’t given in to peer pressure from the lads at the office and gone back into Belfast city centre with them after his trip to Ballynahinch? Surely he hadn’t gone to the pub for a proper booze-up? After all the drink they’d had already? How could he have forgotten to give her a call and let her know he was okay? He knew she had no one else coming round to visit this evening. He knew she’d be alone in the house on Christmas Eve. Was she being a total shrew? she wondered then. Wasn’t her husband allowed to have a bit of fun after working so hard all year?

  ‘Okay, calm down and just get the tree finished,’ she told herself sternly.

  With her heart fluttering she unwound the two long strings of crimson berry lights, draped them expertly on the branches and switched them on. Then she hung all twenty of the elegant Christmas figurines on the tree, spacing them out carefully.

  ‘He’s missed the decorating now but never mind,’ she said to a papier-mâché reindeer. ‘Out on the rip! And me stuck here fretting about him! Do you know I’m tempted to go and have a lovely soak in the bath…’

  But of course she didn’t.

  At nine thirty Ruby decided to play the fussy wife and start ringing round the pubs that Jonathan might be drinking in. The Merchant or the Errigle or the Europa, maybe. But as she was walking towards the telephone in the hall it began to make its high-pitched electronic chime. She snatched up the receiver.

  ‘Jonathan? Is that you? Where are you, love?’

  ‘Hello? Am I speaking to a Mrs Ruby O’Neill?’ a man’s voice asked. He sounded very solemn. Ruby’s heart seemed to lurch to one side.

  ‘Yes, you are,’ she said shakily.

  ‘Is your husband called Jonathan O’Neill, by any chance?’ the man asked. ‘He has a silver BMW?’

  ‘Who is this?’ Ruby said, her face and hands turning cold with nerves. Was this a wind-up by Jonathan’s mates in the office? She’d stop speaking to the lot of them, so she would.

  ‘This is Mr Doonan. I’m a consultant at the Royal Victoria Hospital.’

  ‘Oh my God, what’s happened?’ Ruby gasped, and she sat down on the little chair beside the telephone and began to tremble.

  ‘I’m very sorry, Mrs O’Neill, but your husband has been involved in a serious traffic accident. Can you please come to the hospital straight away? Have you anyone who might come with you?’

  ‘Yes, yes. I have someone. I’ll be right there. A&E, is it?’

  ‘Yes, take care now, goodbye.’

  Ruby clattered the handset into its cradle and then immediately lifted it again and called Jasmine. But Jasmine wouldn’t be at her own apartment in the Bell Towers, Ruby remembered suddenly. Jasmine had said she was going to a party tonight.

  ‘Please, God, let Jasmine have her mobile switched on,’ Ruby wept.

  She hung up and dialled Jasmine’s mobile number.

  ‘Jasmine, please answer, please answer,’ Ruby sobbed as the phone rang and rang.

  ‘Hey, Ruby, what about ye! Merry Christmas!’ Jasmine yelled eventually, seeing Ruby’s name on the caller-ID display. ‘God, I’m as drunk as a skunk already here.’

  ‘Please, Jasmine, you’ve got to help me,’ Ruby begged.

  ‘What is it?’ Jasmine asked, sobering up instantly.

  ‘It’s Jonathan. He’s in hospital.’

  ‘What happened? An accident?’

  ‘Yes, a road accident.’

  ‘How is he?’

  ‘I don’t know. They didn’t say. Or wouldn’t say…’

  ‘Right,’ Jasmine whispered. They both knew this was not a good sign.

  ‘Will you come with me to see him?’ Ruby pleaded. ‘Please? I’m in a right state here.’

  ‘I will surely. I can’t drive you though. I’m way over the limit. Can you pick me up? The party’s just a few doors down the street from my place, but I’ll have to run home and change. I’m in a mini-skirt and my new coat! Can you pick me up at the main entrance?’

  Jasmine couldn’t afford to run a car of her own since moving to the Bell Towers.

  ‘Fine, fine,’ Ruby said through her tears. ‘I’ve had two small glasses of wine myself, but I’m sure it’ll be okay. I’ll never get a taxi so late on Christmas Eve. I’ll be there in two minutes.’

  ‘You’ve had wine? Should we go by taxi?’

  ‘No, I don’t want to wait for a taxi, Jasmine. Or chat to the driver.’

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘Thanks, Jasmine,’ Ruby said gratefully, slamming the phone down hard and running to the kitchen for her coat and car keys.

  Minutes later she was pulling up at Jasmine’s apartment building, sounding the horn and crying simultaneously. She’d forgotten to switch off the lights on the Christmas tree back home but none of that mattered now. After a few more agonizing minutes, Jasmine came racing out of the main door and Ruby stepped from her car and called to her friend across the road.

  ‘Hey, Jasmine, I’m over here! There was nowhere to park on your side.’

  ‘I’m coming,’ Jasmine shouted as she sprinted across four lanes of traffic and leapt into Ruby’s ancient Audi. ‘Are you all right, love?’

  ‘No, I’m not all right.’

  ‘Jesus, Ruby, I’m really sorry… But he’ll be okay.’

  ‘What if he isn’t? I’ve got to find this Mr Doonan. And I’ve been drinking,’ Ruby wept. ‘What’ll he think?’

  ‘It’s Christmas Eve, you doughnut! Who hasn’t been drinking? Come on, woman, you can do this,’ Jasmine urged.

  ‘Okay.’

  Ruby pulled out into the traffic and turned right towards Ormeau Road.

  ‘Please God, let him be all right,’ she said over and over as they nudged through the Holy Lands district, down Great Victoria Street and across towards the Falls Road.

  ‘This damn bloody traffic! Does it never stop?’ Ruby wept again as the lights turned defiantly red. She jammed on the brakes and thumped the dashboard with frustration. ‘Have all of these stupid, bloody people got no homes to go to?’

  ‘Ruby, maybe you’d better try and calm down a bit or we’ll be in an accident ourselves,’ Jasmine soothed.

  ‘Okay, you’re right. Sorry, I’m sorry for losing my temper. Thank God you’re with me, Jasmine. Thanks for coming with me tonight.’

  At last the hospital entrance loomed up before them in the car headlights.

  ‘Now listen to me, Ruby. You must be positive when you see Jonathan,’ Jasmine began carefully. ‘You mustn’t let him see you this upset. You’ll make it harder for him, say he is quite hurt.’

  ‘Yes, I know, I know. Oh God, Jasmine! Something terrible has happened. I just know it,’ Ruby said as she parked the car sideways across three disability spaces in the nearest car park. ‘Never mind the ticket machine. Nobody will be checking it this late on Christmas Eve. Come on. Hurry!’

  ‘It’ll be fine, Ruby,’ Jasmine said hopefully as the two women linked arms and went scurrying towards A&E. ‘Everything will be just fine, you’ll see.’

  ‘Excuse me, nurse, we’re here about Jonathan O’Neill. He’s been in some sort of accident,’ Ruby began.

  ‘A road accident,’ Jasmine added helpfully. ‘This is Ruby O’Neill, his wife.’

  ‘Please tell us what’s happened to him,’ Ruby asked as Jasmine put one arm round her friend and prayed for good news.

  Ruby was trembling from head to foot. She hadn’t been inside a hospital
for years. She was feeling surreal already. As if she’d accidentally wandered on to the set of Casualty, or something.

  ‘Just take a seat and I’ll let the doctor know you’re here,’ the nurse said calmly.

  ‘But is my husband badly hurt?’ Ruby pleaded.

  ‘The doctor will explain, Mrs O’Neill.’

  ‘Please tell me something! Anything!’ Ruby begged.

  ‘Ruby, will you let the nurse do her job?’ Jasmine whispered quietly, giving Ruby’s arm a gentle squeeze.

  ‘Just tell me he’s okay!’ Ruby persisted.

  ‘Mrs O’Neill, would you please take a seat? Thank you.’ The nurse turned away from Ruby and Jasmine then and began tapping hard on some buttons on her computer.

  ‘It could be something routine,’ Jasmine said brightly as she led Ruby away from the counter. ‘A broken arm or leg? A cracked rib or a spot of concussion, perhaps? That’s likely it, you know: it’s concussion and they’re taking him for a scan, just to be on the safe side.’

  ‘If that’s all it is, then why won’t they tell me?’ Ruby sobbed as the other people in the waiting area stared at the posters on the walls in an embarrassed silence.

  After ten minutes, the consultant came hurrying into A&E: a tall man in his late fifties with a shock of white hair and a healthy pink glow on his face. He ushered Ruby and Jasmine down the corridor and into a small private room furnished with two plain armchairs, a small matching sofa and a low, wooden coffee table. Ruby saw a big box of tissues sitting pointedly on the table’s highly polished surface.

  ‘Oh sweet Jesus Christ, I knew it, I knew it!’ she wept, collapsing on to the beige sofa in a crumpled heap. ‘He’s dead, isn’t he? Isn’t he?’

  The doctor was slightly taken aback. Usually the relatives went into denial at this stage. They normally needed some convincing before they would accept that a loved one had died.

  ‘Has Ruby’s husband actually… died ?’ Jasmine whispered incredulously at that point.

  ‘Well now, I’m afraid the news is not good. He’s on life support at the moment. But I’m sorry to say… there’s no hope.’ The doctor shook his head sadly.

  ‘Oh Jesus,’ Jasmine said eventually. ‘Oh, sorry! Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that, doctor.’

  The doctor just nodded and sighed.

  ‘No, he can’t be going to die! No way, I can’t believe it,’ Ruby gasped then, her eyes wide with shock. ‘Jasmine, I think I’m going to be sick… There must be some mistake! Doctor? Have you done everything you can to save him?’

  ‘Yes, we have.’

  ‘There must be something?’

  The doctor shook his head.

  A small silence descended and then Ruby began to cry noisily.

  ‘What happened, do you know?’ Jasmine asked, sitting down beside Ruby and hugging her tightly.

  ‘A lorry clipped Mr O’Neill’s car on the Carryduff roundabout. He swerved into a stone wall. His neck… was broken.’

  ‘Oh, Jonathan! It can’t be true,’ Ruby cried. ‘Not my Jonathan; he’s an excellent driver. The traffic wasn’t moving quickly enough for an accident like that to happen.’

  ‘Apparently it was.’

  ‘Jesus Christ,’ Jasmine said. ‘Sorry.’

  ‘He wouldn’t have suffered, Mrs O’Neill,’ the doctor said. ‘I can assure you of that. There was a witness. A man who attended the scene within seconds. The lorry driver was going too fast apparently. Didn’t slow down as he entered the roundabout. He couldn’t stop in the icy conditions, or so he said. He’s been arrested.’

  Ruby didn’t answer the doctor. Her mind was floating somewhere high above the hospital building. Thinking to herself, well, Jonathan wouldn’t have to worry about her spending all that money on a pair of shoes after all. Jonathan wouldn’t need new shoes now or anything else, ever again. She closed her eyes and began to moan in a very low-pitched voice.

  ‘Mrs O’Neill, are you all right?’ the doctor asked gently. Ruby nodded vigorously. She was all right, yes. She just couldn’t form any coherent sentences at that precise moment. That was all.

  ‘Do you want to ask me anything?’ the doctor said. ‘About what happens next? Before you see your husband?’

  Ruby turned away from him, just as the nurse downstairs had recently turned away from her. She couldn’t bear to speak to anyone. Outside the bare windows a soft dusting of the purest white snow was beginning to fall. Ruby watched the twirling flakes with a surreal sense of detachment. She felt numb and frozen.

  ‘Ruby?’ Jasmine asked.

  ‘No, thank you,’ Ruby said eventually. ‘I can’t think of anything.’

  ‘Then we’ll go upstairs?’ the doctor ventured.

  ‘Thank you, doctor,’ Ruby said politely.

  ‘Yes, thank you,’ Jasmine said in a whispery, shell-shocked voice.

  ‘Would you like a little something to calm you down?’ the doctor asked discreetly.

  ‘No, best not,’ said Ruby quietly. ‘Not yet anyway. Not yet.’

  ‘Yes, good,’ the doctor agreed. There were far too many people taking tablets for their nerves, in his opinion.

  ‘Could Ruby have a quick cup of tea?’ Jasmine asked suddenly. ‘She’s gone all cold and shivery on me.’

  ‘That would be nice,’ Ruby whispered. ‘I do feel slightly faint as it happens. Must be the heat in here or something. Hospitals are always far too warm, aren’t they?’

  ‘They are,’ Jasmine said soothingly.

  ‘I’ll see to it,’ the doctor said, going out of the room. Minutes later a nurse brought in some tea things on a tray. Ruby’s heart was fluttering wildly in her chest. She thought she might have heart failure with the stress of it all, but she honestly didn’t care if she did. Was it only an hour or so ago that she’d been decorating her Christmas tree and sipping red wine? Dreaming of expensive shoes and long lie-ins and newborn babies with silky-soft cheeks?

  ‘He was so young,’ she whispered to Jasmine. ‘Only thirty-eight.’

  ‘You’ve got to be strong now,’ Jasmine replied, handing her some tea with two sugars in it.

  ‘Yes, I know, I know.’

  Pull yourself together, Ruby hissed internally at her startled reflection in the darkened windows. Oh, pull yourself together right this minute, Ruby O’Neill. What sort of a woman are you anyway? People die all the time.

  But it wasn’t just anyone who had died, was it? No, it was her gorgeous lover, her best and closest friend in the entire world, her fabulous husband, Jonathan. A great gulp of panic rose up in Ruby’s chest and she half coughed, half gasped for air.

  Jonathan was dying.

  ‘But I don’t want him to be dead!’ she wept. ‘It’s not fair! I don’t want him to leave me like this. We had so many plans for the future. He was my best friend! I have nobody else, not really… Just you, Jasmine… My parents are hopeless, just hopeless. I can’t go on living without Jonathan. He can’t be dead, he can’t be! We were going to try for a baby; we were going to be a proper family. I bought him expensive shoes for Christmas…’

  ‘Ruby love, poor love, poor love,’ Jasmine said gently, pulling Ruby closer to her.

  ‘No!’ Ruby wept.

  ‘Take slower breaths,’ the nurse urged.

  ‘I think I might try a pill actually, please?’ Ruby said in a faltering voice.

  The nurse produced a small bottle of white pills from her pocket and gave her one.

  ‘We’ll go upstairs soon,’ the doctor decided when he came back into the room. Things were only going to get worse the longer they sat here in this emotional vacuum.

  ‘Are you okay now, Ruby?’ Jasmine asked her.

  ‘I think so,’ Ruby said in a small voice, gulping down hot, sweet tea to take away the bitter taste of the tablet. ‘Let’s go.’

  The doctor and the nurse exchanged concerned glances as the four of them made their way towards the elevator and got in. Ruby seemed marginally calmer now.

  But when the lift came to a jud
dering halt Ruby’s heart went into a tailspin all over again. Somehow she managed to speak briefly to another doctor about Jonathan’s organs being donated. Jonathan’s neck had been broken, but otherwise he was in perfect health. They’d been keeping him on life support until Ruby could see him, the second doctor explained. And if it was okay with Ruby they’d like to take some of her husband’s organs. Ruby just nodded, asking nothing more. Then she was allowed to see her husband. Jasmine braced herself as they went into the room.

  ‘He was always so good-looking,’ Ruby said in a faraway voice, tenderly kissing Jonathan’s forehead and placing her slender hands over his larger ones. ‘Gorgeous man. Wasn’t he always absolutely gorgeous, Jasmine?’

  ‘Jesus, Ruby, yes indeed. I’m so very sorry,’ Jasmine said, tears slipping down her own shocked and pale face.

  ‘He had lovely big blue eyes,’ Ruby continued softly. Holding her breath in at the end of the sentence to keep hysteria at bay. ‘Ice blue. The first time I looked into those beautiful blue eyes of his I knew I’d love him forever. He paid my bus fare home from college one night. I’d lost my purse, you see. That’s how we met. We were so happy together. I only wish I’d realized just how happy we were before it was too late.’ She had to hold on to Jasmine for a moment then to stop herself from grabbing something heavy and wrecking the room with it.

  ‘We’re very sorry we couldn’t do more for your husband, Mrs O’Neill,’ the second doctor said respectfully.

  Glancing at her husband’s bare shoulders Ruby had a sudden image of Jonathan lying in bed with her, their arms wrapped round each other after making love. He looked as if he was only asleep. Such a warm-hearted and sexy man! Shy to begin with, but great fun when you got to know him. He was still warm, still breathing. He couldn’t be lost to her forever, could he? Ruby’s heart seemed to fold up on itself like an origami swan.

  ‘Are you really sure there’s no hope?’ she asked.

  ‘There isn’t. I’m sorry,’ Mr Doonan replied sadly.

  ‘Really? Are you really sure?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I’ll pay for more treatment? Even if he has to go abroad? I’ll sell the house. I’m sure it’s worth half a million…’